a loong time ago, me and Chris Schumacher had this little project called
Decalouge. It dealt with 10 authors writing 10 stories. I had commandment
number 6. Mr. Lawson had something too, I forgot, thus his story was
withdrawn and today is known as "Sunday." Anyway, I have no idea what the
status of this project is. So, for those of you who are in this project,
finish the stupid thing. I'm posting this cuz its now or never, plus I need
some more C&C on it.





-begin-                                                           -|<>|-



                            D  E  C  A  L  O  G


                        Story #6


                            Killing Is Bad/Fun			

			      
Written By: Jang Choe
Decalog Project Leaders: Chris Schumacher & Jang Choe


       "Thou shalt not murder"
	            -Exodus 20:13


       "You ought to kill a man someday, David. It's very . . . 
	LIBERATING."
                   -Felix Barbosa/"Deep Cover" 			
           

-_-_-_-
  -_-  	

	[The mountain air is refreshing. It is early morning, the birds
	are singing, the rodents are gathering their food, worms are
	hiding from the birds, and there are two people coming up from
	the base of the mountain. They are about the same size and each
	one of them has a bag on their back. As they climb further up,
	their appearance begins to become clearer. One of them has a
	white gi, while the other has a red shirt. They look up on the
	blue sky, without a cloud in site, and take a deep breath of the
	fresh morning air. Of course, unless you are some clueless twit,
	those two people are none other than . . . Ken and Ryu. Just
	kidding, it's Ranma and Genma.]

Genma: Smell that morning air, Ranma. Isn't it so refreshing?

Ranma: Why'd ya have to drag me out here, Pop?

Genma: I told you, this is our annunal training expedition.

Ranma [rolls eyes]: Oh yeah . . . At least we aren't in China like last
year.

Genma: Yes, when we get deeper into the woods, lets start training in
peace.

	[So they both continue to walk up the mountain. They start
	heading into a forest. Soon, the there are nothing but trees,
	birds, small mammals, bloodsucking insects, spiders the size
	of your hand . . . ]

Genma: At last, let us start our training. Remember, there is no one
around so we can use our full force.

Ranma: All right Pop, even though you never did give me a challenge.

Genma [smiles]: We'll see . . . Here, I go! [jumps full speed towards
Ranma]

Ranma [strikes a pose]: Heh, [jumps full speed towards Genma]

	[They seem like two speeding trains, ready to collide with each
	other. Ranma and Genma's eyes light with fire and their teeth
	grit together as they close in one another. All of a sudden, a
 	mysterious energy comes between them!]

Kasumi: Hello, would you feel for some tea?

Genma: Thank you Kasumi, that'll hit the spot.

	[Ranma takes the tea.]

Ranma: Thanks.

Kasumi: By the way Ranma and Mr. Saotome, brunch is almost ready.
So please come and join us back at the beach. [smiles]

Genma: All right, Kasumi. Come on Ranma, lets go back.

	[They step a few feet away from the wooden area, and the camera
	pans and zooms up towards a bustling beach resort. The mountain
	was actually a small hill and there are several big hotels along
	the shoreline.]

	[Cut to Credits. Cue: "It's Love" by Rabbit as the camera zooms
	away and into the beach scenery. With lots of gratitutes camera
	shots to the nubile young bikini clad girls, seagulls, people
	surfing, and other beachy stuff.]

	[Then the credit scene comes up: Bile Studio Presents: Jang
	Choe's Decalog fic!]

	[The camera calms down and focuses on the shore. There are lots
	of people running around, sunbathing, and stuff. Over on the far
	side of the beach there are a group of young women: Ukyo, Shampoo,
 	Akane, and Nabiki. They are relaxing until suddenly . . .]

Happosai [jumps up from the horizon]: Ahh! Pretty girls! [jumps up
towards Ukyo's chest]

Ukyo [grimace]: Get away old man! [whaps Happosai towards the sky with
 her spatula]

	[The camera switches to Genma and Ranma who have came back from
	the hill.]

Happosai [from a distance, and he is closing in on them. So the 
doppler effect takes place]: aaaaaAAAAHHHHHH!!!!! [thump]

Ranma [raises an eyebrow]: Eh? Happosai?

Happosai [springs up]: Ah! Ranma m'boy! Why don't you have some fun
with us? Or with me for that matter? [splashes cold water on Ranma 
and glomps onto the changed Ranma]

	[Ranma punches Happosai into the sand.]

Ranma: Get off of me ya letch!

Genma: You two have fun, I'm going to get my brunch.

Ranma: That'll teach you a lesson . . . eh? [looks down to her bosom]

	[Happosai has managed to take Ranma's shirt off and replace it
	with a cute little number from the Victoria's Secret catalog.]

Happosai: Ha ha! [runs with the shirt]

Ranma: Come back here! [chases after him]

	[Happosai runs through some hoards of people subathing with Ranma
	following him.]

Guy1: Hey! Oww!

Guy2: Watch it!

Girl1: Ahhh!

Guy3: Ack! Who stepped on my . . . ?

Girl3: You pervert! Heeelllp!

Happo: Ha ha!

Guy: Owww!

Ranma: Sorry, come back here you bastard! 

	[Ranma then notices a portable ramen cart. So he runs up to the
	cart and takes one of the kettles with hot, boiling water. After
	he dumps the water onto himself, he rips the bra off and runs
	after Happosai in great fury.]

Happo [looks back]: Awww, she changed back. I know . . . [stops and
faces Ranma]

	[The screen suddenly splits into two. On the top half, the upper
	portion of Happosai's gleaming, evil eyes show. In the bottom
	portion, Ranma's determined eyes glare as he is charging at
	Happo.]

Ranma's eyes: Okay old man, this is the last draw!

Happo's eyes [narrows]: I don't think so!

	[Happosai springs his small body towards Ranma at full speed.
	Unexpectly, Happo glomps into Ranma's face and grabs Ranma's ears. 
 	Now, with the foward momentum of Happosai's sudden leap, Happ,
	still grabbing the ears, flips over Ranma's and throws him . . .
	or he tries, Ranma is grabbing onto him.]

Ranma: No, *I* don't think so! [he FLIPS over Happo and throws him
 waaaayy out into the sea]

Happosai:AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh-
hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaa!~

	[Kasumi looks up and sees Happosai flying across the horizon]

Kasumi: My, what a funny looking bird. [sips tea]

Ranma [admiring his handywork]: Wow, I'm pretty strong. Heh, that'll
teach him a lesson.

	[As the tiny dot of Happo begins to desend into the ocean, a
	speed boat starts to converge on the point where Happosai's 
	trajectory is taking him, and just as Happo hits the water, the 
	boat runs over him and red liquid stains the water. You can hear
	a faint, "What the hell!?" from the boaters regarding the weird
	noises coming from their outboard motor.]

Ranma [face fault]: No way! That . . . just did not happen.

	[Genma phases into existence behind Ranma.]

Genma: Did I just see what I think I saw?

	[Soun materializes next to Genma.]

Soun: Yes, did you see what I saw as well, Saotome's?

Ranma: Did I . . .

Soun: Yes Ranma! You have finally relieved us of that monster!

Genma: Great going son! We are now finally at peace!

	[Soun and Genma dance the Meposian dance of joy as Ranma gapes
	in disbelief at the middle of the ocean.]

Ranma: <Did I just kill him?> [shakes head] <Nah, he couldn't be.
Heck, he's the highest Grandmasters of Indiscriminate Grappling,
there's no way that he could of died.> [pause] Just to make 
sure . . . [runs towards the ocean]

Genma & Soun: Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey . . . Where are you going Ranma?! 

	[Ranma jumps into the cold sea and starts swimming towards the 
	site where Happosai met his fate. It was pretty far away, but hey,
	if he swam to China, this is a cake walk.]

	[Ranma starts treading water as he sees the blob of red in the
	ocean.]

Ranma: Happosai!? Okay! Come on out! I don't have my top on and I'm
CHANGED! [No response] Hmmm, maybe he's underwater [swims down 
towards the surface.]<I can't see him. Did he actually . . . ?> 

	[Ranma looks for him for a whole mintue and looses oxygen. So he
	does what any normal land loving mammel will do, get some air. As
	she resurfaces, she does it in the same style as Ariel in "The 
	Little Mermaid."]

Boater: Look! A naked girl!

Boater2: That's no naked girl! That's a mermaid! Let get her!

Boater: Yea! I heard if we eat her flesh, we can live forever!

Ranma [notices them]: What the?! [all of a sudden, he sees a piece of 
cloth floating by] Huh?! This is the same cloth that Happosai's  bathing
suit was made of. [the boat with the two boaters comes towards Ranma]

Boater: So, how do we catch her? We don't have a net or anything.

Ranma: What you want?

Boater2: ! Uh, Sorry to bother you ma'am, but we are going to capture
you and eat your flesh so we can live forver.

Boater:  Nothing personal, of course.

Boater2:  Yeah, nothing personal.

	[Ranma swims around the boat.] 

Boater: The hell is she doing?

Ranma:  Moukou Takabisha! 

	[The ki-bolt hits the side of the boat and causes it to tip
	over, throwing the two boaters into the sea.]

Ranma: Okay, Happy, where are ya?! [sees more of the same kind of cloth
float by]

	[Ranma quietly swims back to shore. Ranma doesn't realize that
	everybody is staring at her for some unknown reason. She holds on
	to the cloth tight in her hands and walks onto the beach.]

Akane [running towards her]: Ranma! Don't you have any femine modesty?

Ranma [looks down]: Oh yeah, I forgot, I don't have a shirt. [to Akane]
Sorry. [walks off tranced]

Akane [thought]: Ranma, said sorry? That is very out of character for
him... [Looks up to see the name of the author] No, not him. I wonder
what's wrong?

	[We cut to Ranma's hotel room. He has just put on a shirt that
	says 'Alkalyne Metal: Senior Citizen Killing Tour '93']

Ranma: This sucks, there is no way I could have killed him. No way.

	[Enter Nabiki: She is dressed in a low cut shirt with a bathing
	suit underneath, for you can see thorugh her shirt. She has a big
	beach towel wrapped around her waist, covering her left leg, as her
	right leg is exposed.]

Nabiki: Hey, Ranma--

Ranma: Okay Nabiki! I killed him okay?! You don't have to rub it in!

Nabiki: I was going to ask you if you've seem dad. But what is this
about you killing someone?

Ranma: I killed Happosai, okay? Now leave me alone!

Nabiki: Oh? You sound upset. [smiles] I thought you would be happy.
[snickers slightly to her own pun.]

Ranma: Well I am! Okay?!

Nabiki: You don't sound like it, maybe you liked being fondled by some
old pervert eh?

Ranma: Of course not, don't be ridiculous! 

	[Nabiki makes to leave.]

Nabiki: I can't WAIT till I tell everyone. [She turns, but Ranma is
just standing there quietly.] Umm, I'm GOING to tell everyone! [Starts
walking slowly] You know, if SOMEONE paid me, I'll keep my mouth shut. 
[slowly walks to the door.] Okay, I'm going to tell the whole world!
[opens the door] Okay, I am opening the door to go out and tell 
everyone that you liked Happy touching you.

Ranma:  Yeah, be seeing you Nabiki.

Nabiki [closes the door]: Okay Ranma, what's going on?

Ranma: Look, I don't want to talk about it. So leave me alone! [goes to
bed]

Nabiki: Ranma, what are you doing?

Ranma: What do you think? I'm going to bed!

Nabiki: It's only 11:30 AM

Ranma: Well, I'm tired. So good night.

Nabiki: Okaay . . . [leaves]

	[Ranma just lays there, wide awake. In her mind, there are
	repeated scenes of Happosai getting chopped into shreds.
	Everytime her mind replays that scene, it becomes more gruesome
	and more close up Ranma grimaces at the third rerun of that scene.]

Ranma: Man, thisisdrvingmeCRAZY! [bangs head on the wall] 
HowDOIGetRidOFThisDamnThougHt!? [bangs head on the wall again] Wait, I
know! I'll just think of happy thoughts. My own happyland . . . [thinks
of a grassy field with trees, flowers, deers, bunnys and such. In the
background, "Dome Epaise Le Jasmin" by Delibes* is heard]

(*This is from the opera, _Lakme_ This is a good aria to listen to 
relieve stress. It is one of those songs that puts you in trances. You
can hear this music in the movie "True Romance" It's in that scene where
Christopher Walkens is trying to get some info out of Dennis Hopper.
Excellent scene, okay . . . back to the story.)

	[There is also a peaceful lake, with a boat, and Happosai getting
	shredded.]

Ranma [rips hair]: AAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! [hits head on the
wall again] Why-Do-tHis Al-Ways-Come-In-To-My-Head?! [finally, the wall
breaks and she is knocked out]

	[Ranma  wakes up in some black void. No, it's the bed he's been
	sleeping in. Actually, it IS a big black void, but she is still on 
	her bed. Ranma slowly gets up, feeling her head.]

Ranma: Ohh, My head.

Disembodied voice: Raaaannmmmaaa~

Ranma: Who's there?

Voice: RAAANNNMMAAAA~~

Ranma: Yes?

Voice: RAAANMMMAAA~~~~~~~

Ranma: What?!

Voice: RAANN--

Ranma WHAT THE HELL DO YOU WANT?! I SAID I'M HERE!

Voice: Sheesh [come in from the darkness] Hello, Ranma my boy.

Ranma: Ha...Happosai?!

Happo: Yes, Ranma.

Ranma: You're not dead?

Happo: Of course I'm dead! If you see someone's body parts 
getting chopped into pieces, you can bet that he's dead.

Ranma: Then how . . . you . . . when . . . ?

Happo: I'm a ghost. I came for revenge.

Ranma: Revenge?

Happo: Of course! Mr. D said I can get revenege on you.

Ranma: Who's Mr. D?

Happo: It doesn't matter. Now . . . What should my revenge be? Hmmmm.
[snaps fingers] I know! I'll make you 100% female!

Ranma: [Groans] Not again!

Happo: All right all right. Since it isn't entirely your fault, I'm 
going to let you have a chance. A little chance, mind you.

Ranma: Oh?

Happo: Yes, I'm having a tournament in this world.  If you think you 
can stand up with the best, I'll let you go.

Ranma [smiles]; A tournament, 'eh?

Happo: Heh heh, don't understimate it Ranma-my-boy. They are going to be
tough. They are the best fighters in the universe. There is no way you
can handle them.

Ranma: Doesn't matter, I can take anyone on!

Happo: Okay, if you can beat all the opponents then you are free. If you
can't, you'll be a girl forver, you'll be married to me, and your family
won't know the difference.

Ranma: Hmmm . . . Okay, bring them on!

Happo: Sure. 

	[Happosai snaps his fingers and they are teleported into the
	arena.]

Ranma [looks around]: Woah! All the audiences are dead guys. Hey! That
one's George Washington! And Richard Nixon! And Bruce Lee! And Plautus,
and Shakespeare, and Robert Holmes!  Disco Music! . . . Kurt Cobain! 
And that's  . . .

Happo: How do you know? I thought you were doing bad at school . . .

Ranma: Well, Akane made Ryouga tutor me in history.

Happo: Oh. Well look, your first opponent.

Ranma [claps hands]: Okay, bring 'em on.

	[It suddenly becomes quiet. All of a sudden, music is heard and
	the audience goes wild. It is the ending theme to Dragon Ball Z.
	The fog machine turns on and there is smoke covering the far end
	of the arena. All of a sudden, the door opens on the far opposite
	side of the arena. A mysterious figure steps onto the frame of the 
	door and stands there. The audience are going nuts. Then it starts
	to walk forward to the center of the ring where Ranma stands,
	looking speechless. The figure slowly steps on top of the ring. As
	the smoke clears, we can see a weird figure. The figure is somewhat 
	skinny, and very pale. It also does not seem to have any hair. Then
	at the end of his back, you can see a tail coming out from it.]

Freeza [glaring at Ranma]: Is THAT my opponent?

Ranma: What. The. HELL?

Freeza: You're energy level is low. This should be easy. [grins]

Ranma: We'll see about that!

	[Ranma runs up to Freeza and nails a perfect roundhouse kick to
	Freeza's temple]

Ranma: Heh. [starts] What the . . .

	[Freeza just stands there smiling]

Freeza: Did I just feel something? [wacks Ranma away with his tail and
Ranma goes flying]

Ranma: Grr, Mokotakabshiha! [the blast blows up Freeza] Heh, got em.

	[The smoke clears and Freeza is standing there, with his hands on
	his hips.]

Freeza: Heh, if I had leg hairs, you could have singed them. But I even
doubt that.

Ranma: Huh? [runs up to him] Katsu Tenchin Amaguriken!

Freeza: You are not worthy to fight me, human scum. I think you have 
had enough fun. Time to finish this.

Ranma: Grr . . . [spins around him] Hiryuu Shoten Haa!

Freeza: Thank you for that nice breeze.

Ranma: What?!

	[Freeza leaps into the air.]

Freeza: Die pathetic human [raises a finger into the air and a huge
fireball grows on the fingertip of his index finger.]

Ranma: No way!

Freeza: Haap! [throws the fireball to Ranma, Ranma is hit, and there is
no more ring left. Some big-ass hole where it used to be]

Ranma: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
 What? where am I? Was that just a dream?

Genma: Ahh, you finally awoke, Ranma.

Nabiki: It's about time too.

Akane: I know, anyway it's your turn to cook.

Ranma: What?!

Akane: I would cook today, but YOU insisted.

Genma [whisper]: Thank goodness that you awoke.

Ranma [flatly]: What?

Kasumi: Your husband should be back in a while. Um, he said that he was
worried and went to get some medicine.

Ranma: My husband?

Kasumi: Yes.

Ranma: Who is . . .

Kasumi: Are you okay, Ranma? Happosai.

Ranma: What?! No way!

Akane: Ranma, remember? You are married to him. You've been so happily
for nearly a year now. Heck, you just had a daughter, and this trip was
because of that.

Ranma: You're kidding right, Akane? Guys? Aren't I engaged to you,
Akane? 

Genma: What are you talking about Ranma?

Akane: Are you okay? How can we be engaged? You're a girl.

	[Realization begins to dawn on Ranma.]

Ranma: This is not happening.

	[The door opens and a small figure enters.]

Happo: Honey I'm home! [glomps onto Ranma] Did you miss me? I couldn't
get the medicine but since you're awake . . .

	[Ranma smashes Happosai into the wall.]

Ranma: What are you doing?

Nabiki: Ranma, he always did that. And you liked it.

Ranma: What? [peels Happo from the wall] come here, Happy, can I talk
to you? [goes into another room]

Kasumi: Oh dear, they are having a fight.

Akane: And they were soo happy together . . .

	[Cut to another room somewhere.]

Ranma: Okay Happo, turn me back.

Happo: What are you talking about?

Ranma: You know damn well what I'm talking about, turn me back to a 
male!

Happo: What?! Don't tell me that you . . . you . . . are a lesbian!

Ranma: No, remember, I killed you, and the tournament?

Happo: I don't know what you are talking about Ranchan.

Ranma: Don't call me Ranchan!

Happo [big puppy eyes]: But Ranchan, I called you that during the
honeymoon.

Ranma: <I think I'm going to be sick.> Shut up and turn me back to 
normal! Or at least give me another chance at the tournment!

Happo: Ranma, I think you just had some horrible dream.

Ranma: No it was NOT a dream. Come on, take me back, I'm sorry I killed 
ya, okay?!

Happo: You never killed me Ranchan, I don't know what you're talking 
about.

Ranma [thought]: Is this guy serious?

Happo: Are you feeling okay? I know I should have gotten you that
 medicine, ranchan.

Ranma: Don't call me RanChan! Only Ukyo calls me that!

Happo: Yeah, and so do I. [snuggles up to her]

Ranma: Get away! [punches him out the window]

	[Later that evening, Ranma is in the kitchen, cooking-- it was not 
	her choice though.]

Ranma: This really sucks. There is gotta be a way out of this. [looks at
her soup] Hmmm, looks like it needs more salt. Wait a minute! [throws down
her ladel.] Why in the hell am I doin' this? I am a guy!

	[Kasumi enters the kitchen.]

Kasumi: Hi Ranma, you need any help?

Ranma: Ummm, now that you mention it, I'm not feeling so well, would you
mind finishing for me?

Kasumi: Sure. 

	[Genma sees Ranma coming out of the kitchen.]

Genma: Daughter, why did you punch Happosai out the window?

Ranma [evily]: Don't call me daughter . . .

Genma: Don't talk to me like that young lady! I never seen you act this way
before. You go apologise to Happosai right now!

Ranma: No.

Genma: Listen Ranma, you and Happosai were really happy together. In fact,
you made Happy so happy, you made him stop going after other girls.

Ranma: So? Leave. Me. Alone! I'm going for a walk.

	[Ranma leaves the room and goes out into the beach.]

Ranma: This can't be right, there HAS to be some way out of this. It was 
*his* fault for that accident. I didn't even wanted to kill him.

Guy1: Hey babe, you lonely?

Ranma: Get the hell away from me.

Guy2: Ohh, we have a fresh one here, eh Konatsu?

Konatsu: Yeah Katta, and a real looker too. [grins]

Ranma: You boys wanna get hurt? [cracks knuckles]

Guy3: Hey guys, what's up? Oh, I see we got ourselves a broad.

Ranma: Don't call me a broad punk, before I shove this fist in your thick 
skull.

Guy3: Hey, we got ourselves a Wonder Woman here. Okay Wonder, give me your 
best shot.

	[Ranma punches Guy3 in the nose and he flys back and is knocked 
	unconcisous.]

Konatsu: Hey! Hey! Hey!

Ranma: What are ya, Fat Albert? [kicks him silly]

Katta: Uh oh, not since that Madoka chick, [gets the tar beaten out of him]

Ranma: Ahh, that made me feel better, but I still need to think of someway
out of this mess. Only of Cologne was here. That's it! [runs back towards
the hotel]

	[Ranma comes back and as she opens opens the door, Akane is there, 
	holding a baby, with pig tails . . . weird.]

Akane: Ranma, where have you been? Your baby's been crying forever! She's
hungry I bet. Here, breast feed her. [gives the baby to Ranma]

Ranma: What?!

Akane: You know, breast feed her. 

Ranma: Ummm, you know where Cologne is?

Akane: Why you want a cologne? And hurry up and breast feed her, I can't 
stand her crying!

Ranma: Never mind, [hands the baby back to her] Here, you do it. I gotta 
find Happosai.

Akane: What?!

	[Happosai suddenly jumps up onto Ranma chest, and Ranma sighs very
deeply.]

Ranma [picking Happu off of her]: Happosai, where is Cologne?

Happo: Cologne? Isn't that the grandmother of that Shampoo girl who's
trying to kill you? Why do you want to see her?

Ranma: <What?> [ponders what he said for a minute] Oh yeah! If I went to
China, and I'm not a boy, that means that Shampoo is still trying to kill
me. That means that Cologne is probably trying to help her. Agg, what
should I do? Wait . . . China, the Jusenkyo! I just need to jump into the
Naniichauian! Twice!> Happosai, take me to China!

Happo: But why, Ranma Darling?

Ranma [playing along]: Come on, Happo darlin' pretty please?

Happo: Ummm . . . but--

Ranma: Forget this! I'll swim there by myself! [runs out]

Happo: Ranma! Where are you going? Wait up for your husband!

Kasumi: Where is Ranma going?

Akane: She is acting weird today. Umm, she still has to feed her baby.

	[The baby crying is drving everyone crazy. We can see Kasumi trying
	to cheer her up.]

	[Cut to the shore. Ranma jumps into the ocean and starts swimming
 	with fury.]

Ranma: <I got to get to Jusenkyo.>

Happo: Hey! Don't forget your husband!

	[Ranma looks over her shoulder and sees Happosai. This causes her to
	 shudder.]

Ranma: If I turn into a man, he'll leave me alone!

	[After four weeks, they finally get to China. But Ranma is not tired
	after all that swimming, in fact she sprints towards the Juskenyo
 	mountains.]

	[Happosai makes a futile attempt to keep up with Ranma.]

Happo: Wow, she was never that energetic . . .

Ranma: Come on, come on . . .  

	[After two days, she finally makes it to the springs]

Ranma: [panting] Where is that guide?

Guide [enters, smoking a pipe]: Nihao.

Ranma: Hey you! [grabs him by the collar] Where is the spring of the
drowned man!?

Guide: Aiya ma'am! That very dangerous! You might become man!

Ranma: That's the whole idea!

Guide: Hmm, surgery too expensive?

Ranma: Just tell me where it is!

Guide: Okay . . . Here it is. [points to a spring] 

	[Time slows down as Ranma turns to look at the spring.]

Ranma: I've been waiting my whole life for this. [goes to the spring
and prepares to jump.]

Happosai: Ranma! Don't!

Ranma [turns back]: What?! That guy followed me all the way here?!

Happosai: Don't do it Ranma!

=======================================================================


Childhood's End type ending


Ranma: Screw you, I'm jumping in!

Happo [hands outstretched]: Nooo!!!!!!!!!!!

	[Ranma jumps into the pool.]

Ranma: Holy crap! This pool is deep! Gahh! I can't surface! Glug 
glug . . . [drowns]

Happo: Ranma? Ranma is dead! Nooo!

	[Later on, everybody hears the unfortuanate news]

Akane: It is all our fault, let us kill ourselves.

	[They all stab themselves, and the cry of Ranma's baby is heard,
	soon fading.]

-fin

=======================================================================


Hemisphere's type Ending

Ranma: Ha! You've got to be kidding! I'm jumping in! I don't know why I 
felt so much grief when you died! [jumps in]

Guide: Oops, wrong pool.

Ranma: What? What pool is this?!

Guide: I don't know . . .

	[All of a sudden, Happo accidently trips on a rock while running and
	runs into Ranma, nailing her in the nose, knocking her out]

Happo: Ohh, my head . . .

	[The Guide looks at the pool, where Ranma has yet to surface.]

Guide: I think she drowned.

Happo: What?

Guide: I sorry, she was very nice.

Happo: Ranma, Ranma my love! [screams]

Guide: Thus this spring will now be called, the Nyaniichiaun, because
[Looks at watch] Exactly 150 seconds ago, young girl drown in that
pool.

-fin

======================================================================
ending #3

Ranma [takes a bucket and fills it with the water]: Finally. 

	[Ranma is about to spill the contents of the bucket onto himself,
	yet he stops and thinks it over again on what he has done.]
 
Ranma: Maybe this is not a good idea. What I did was wrong, I killed a 
living being.

Happo: Ranma! Come back!

Ranma: I will, don't worry, Happy.

Happo: Ranma, what were you thinking?

	[Ranma remembers the wounderful times he had with the orginal
	Tendo's and friends. She turns away and a tear comes out of her
	eye.]

Ranma: [Cries a little.] Goodbye, Akane . . . I'll miss you. [thorws the 
bucket of Nannichuain water into the air and the water lands on a black
piglet]

	[The piglet grows into a 16 year old boy, with fangs. (guess who?)]

Ryouga: If that was suppose to be a joke, it's not funny.

Happo: Ranma, is something wrong?

Ranma [smiles]: Nothing, Happy. Lets go home.

-fin

Epilouge:  Somewhere in Japan, Rumiko Takahashi wakes up screaming.

===========================================================================
ending #4

Ranma: HAHHAHAHAH! [jumps in] I am now a man! Well, half a man. 
[Ranma gets out and prepares to jump in again.]

Ranma: Time to jump in again. <Nahh, I think I'll stay one half. It's
basically what I am.>

Happo: Ranma! What are you doing?! 

Ranma: Happosai, all these years, I wanted to tell you this. 
I am a lesbian. You were never good to me.

Happo: What? [kneels] This can't be. My Ranma a lesbian . . . [smiles]
Then you probably won't mind me doing this! [glomps onto him/her] 

Ranma: Pervert! [punches him all the way to Japan]

-fin

Epilouge:  Happosai lands next to Rumiko Takahashi's house. He mumbles
'Can I at least watch?'. He then hears shrieks coming from the house.

===========================================================================
What a Couple of Dips ending

Ranma: HAHHAHAHAH! [jumps in] I am now a man! Well, half a man. 
[gets out] Time to jump in again. [jumps in] Now I'm a full man!

Happosai: No, Ranma. Why?

Ranma: Sorry Happosai, but this is what I am.  A man.

Happosai: In that case, hold on . . . Guide, where is the Nyannichauan?

Guide: Over there.

Ranma: What are you doing?!

Happo: I still love you, Ranma. [jumps in the nanni, gets out and jumps in
again]

- fin

Epilouge:  Ranma looks at the cute redhead that emerges from the pool.
'You know, you're cute' he remarks. Rumiko Takahashi wakes up screaming
again.

============================================================================


Quentin Tarantino's ending

Happosai:  Ranchan!

Ranma:  It's time I get medieval on yo' ass. [takes out a automatic] 
So, what pool should I throw you in? [to Guide] You have a good
suggestion?

Guide: Anyplace sir, we have spring from a drowned diddle-eyed-Joe to 
a damned if I know.

Ranma: I think I'll just fucking shoot him. [pumps him three times] And
this is for that dumb ass tournament. [shoots him again] Good bye, small
fry.

Guide: Aiya! What you do!?

Ranma: Are you blind you sterotypical lisp talking shithead? I killed
him ya muthafucker! [shoots him] And ain't it fucking obvious that I'm 
shooting you as well? [shoots him again] They're right, it is LIBERATING!

	[Ranma grins and puts on his glasses. It shows Ranma struting, in 
	slow motion out of Jusenkyo, to the theme of "Little Green Bag" sung
	by the George Baker Selection. And the credits roll.]

-Fin


===========================================================================
Jang Choe's Orginal ending

Ranma [jumps in]: Ha haha ha! Huh? Where am I?

	[Ranma looks around and sees that he's in that black void again.]

Happosai: Hello, Ranma. Have you learned your lesson?

Ranma: You!

Happosai: Yes, this is not the same me that you were in your other life.
You should have been more careful.

Ranma: Are you going to make things normal?

Happo: Maybe, maybe not.

Ranma: Then when?

Happo: Well, until you finally learned your lesson. You can't get rid 
of your problem that easily. Besides, murder is very bad.

Ranma: I see. But can you at least make yourself attractive?

Happo [smiles]: No, this is still your punishment.

Ranma: Damn

-fin for good

Epilouge:  Rumiko Takahashi, Quention Tarantino, Chris Schumacher, and
several other fanfic authors make their way to Jang Choe's place with
pitchforks and torches.


Authors notes:

Here is my Decalog story. As you can see, I borrowed a lot from other
sources, and can you guess where from where? :) (yes, the endings and a few
stuff from the main plot)

I added the multiple endings, because I couldn't figure out what ending 
to do. My orginal ending was thought up, but I figured, "man this ending 
would have been so good. (Childhood's End) Or maybe this ending could
have sufficed, (ending #3 ect) So I made it into a gag. I hope you liked 
this fic. If you hated it, well, too bad for you. 

=======================================================================

Script Editor's Ending

[Ranma looks over the edge of the pool, which now appears to be a great
 deal deeper than it was before.]

Happosai VO:  Back when those other people were here, and they got
depressed, they made a leap of faith into that pool over there, that
really fixed 'em up good!

Ranma:  [Starting to cry] Everyone I know is gone, Akane and Ukyo think
I'm a girl, Shampoo is trying to kill me, and Happosai got killed by
an outboard motor. Happy, I'm coming for you!

[Heart wrenching music plays as Ranma leaps into Nannichuan, we see
 a tear fly from his eye right before he crashes into the pool. The
 screen becomes dim, but when it comes back up, we see Ranma lying
 next to the pool. He opens his eyes and feels his chest.] 

Ranma:  I'm a guy! I'm a guy! Yippe!!!!

[Suddenly a bird lands right next to Ranma. Ranma looks down and sees
 that a piece of Happosai's swimming trunks was used to patch the 
 wounded leg of the bird.]

Ranma:  NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 -Fin

Ep: Jang Choe heads towards Toronto with a tactical nuclear warhead in
 his backpack.