Roboforce1/2,
Legal advice courtesy of Tendo Nabiki;
Takahashi and co. disclaimer yadda yadda....can and will be used
against.....yadda yadda...whole truth and nothing but the....yadda
yadda....court finds you guilty....yadda yad?!#$....WHAT DO YOU MEAN
'EXECUTION'?!?!
*************************
I feel that I should point out here that I, at the point of writing
this have only the vaguest of ideas of where all this is going. I am
writing it to prove to myself that I can. The plot is being invented
from paragraph to paragraph though it is 'loosely following the plot
of Roboforce, the HK movie as a homage.
It also has a heavy sprinkling of Ranma 1/2 cameos and characters and
perhaps one or two others though I have no plans at the moment. It is
supposed to be funny. If you don't find it so for Seven Lucky God's
sakes tell me!
************************
Chapter Two; Even heroes screw up....
Terry dejectedly went home. Despite his close proximity to the
two-legged tank he had failed to get anything more than a couple of
blurred shots of 'something'...Ah well, perhaps he could sell them to
the local UFO club fanatics...
Terry sighed as he entered the bar. This evening had been a
total washout. Added to this, his nerves were a total mess after the
shootout. He ordered a Tiger beer from the cute redhead who was
serving and noticed that she seemed to shiver at the name. He
shrugged and went back to wallowing in self-pity.
A fight appeared to be starting up over at the bar as the jukebox
slipped on "Mad Machine" by Priss and the Replicants.
"You're worse than animals! Whiskey, don't drink that! It's
detergent!" Terry looked over to see an egg head (no not a literal
one) with a mane of wild hair struggling to defend a man who might be
described as an intoxicated, tiddley, drunken, alcohol
sodden....welll you get the idea right?
Loony (for that is the name of our intrepid hero) was having a hard
time of it. For one thing, he had absolutely no idea how to fight,
being a research scientist for the Police Special Squad. Number two,
he was being beaten up by the sort of brainless go le who wrestles
crocodiles for a living with a cheerful smile, sandy hair and an IQ
in the high negatives.... In other words, he would have been in real
trouble if he didn't yank out his gun.
Loony, being a smart person, promptly yanked out his gun. The
problem was his coordination was only a shade short of jellyfish. The
gun slid (in slow motion of course) from his hand and sailed in a
graceful arc that ended up in Terry's drink.
Terry looked at the drink, he looked at the gun, he looked at the
fight. He contemplated turning to a life of crime with the weapon, he
grinned....
Meanwhile, in the secret headquarters of the Robogang;
The violent looking girl with the short blue black hair strode
over to one of the lab coated technicians.
"You have two days to get Dominator One repaired and re-equipped!"
The white coat looked nervously around at the black suits with the
submachine guns. It's impossible, he thought to himself, but she sure
is kawaii when she's angry. The other technicians nerve broke,
however, and he ran to escape the dreaded Tendo Akane.
In one casual, swift and fluid move she kicked him through the ceiling.
Whilst the debris from two floors and a roof rained down in the spot
where once he had stood, the technician formerly known as mook
rapidly reached a velocity that was terminal in more than one sense
of the word (more than two if you count the Cray he hit on the second
floor).*
We will take a brief moment at this point to tell you something about
this man. As a baby he had enjoyed playing with reading blocks,
vomiting in slippers and generally doing baby things. Unfortunately
his parents had made the aforesaid blocks out of non iodegradable
plastics and covered five in six surfaces with Kanji swearwords for a
joke (the sixth had a fastfood logo). His parents were the sort of
neanderthals who laugh 'hurr hurr' instead of the more civilised
'hah!' Actually that is probably an unfair comparison...Neanderthals
probably never traumatised their kids(goats and otherwise) whereas Mr
and Mr (they looked identical, even they couldn't tell each other
apart) Mook certainly did traumatise little Alfredopolis Mook (name
case in point).
As he grew up A. Mook just wasn't like his companions in
kindergarten. For a start, he had a full compliment of limbs and
organs, and his parents *had* come from different families.
In college he fell in love from afar with a beautiful lass called
Konatsu Tsubassa and....Phooey, I'm sick of this guy's history so I
think we'll just kill him, it's not as if he has anything to do with
the rest of the story or anything.
Akane 'humphed' bad temperedly and turned to glare at the now
solitary lab coat who promptly decided that neccessity was a mother
all right and got straight to work. Akane stormed off in search of
her master, Lucifer. Striding through the massive comple it was easy
to get lost and so she wasn't surprised when she found her pet,
P-chan, emerging from one of the many ventilation ducts surrounding
her...with a joyous 'bwee' he leaped into her arms and snuggled close
to her bosom.
In a blissful delerium P-chan failed to notice the black glossy
metal form with Akane's features who had appeared in front of them.
Akane stared at it for a moment with an expression of surprise on her
face. It looked back with a blank expression on its cute features.
The metal gal (you might intuitively guess from this that my poetry
is awful, you may well be right!) suddenly seized the initiative and
marched forwards. One hand seized Akane around the throat; the other
grapped the pig unawares and threw him, baseball tyle, in a low arc
through eight walls, a golden arch (hey he's safe, its not as if
they use genuine organics let alone animal products) and a bus
before finally imprinting him on the face of the cute red headed
waitress.
"Ow! What did I do this time?"
Akane was meanwhile hitting Dominator II for all she was worth, to
no effect. Her struggles grew weaker and weaker until it seemed she
must surely be finished.
"Dominator II, cease fighting!" The masterful figure of Lucifer
bounded into view, all two foot four inches of him, his ancient and
wise face filled with an equally aged perverse malevolence. The sack
over his shoulder filled with bouncy, springy, soft, scented,
delightful goodies labelled 'Silky Doll'. "Master, your creation
almost killed me!" Akane collapsed to her knees, gasping for air.
"Nonsense, dear lil' Akane, she could never harm you. She is created
to be the ideal Akane. She will be immortal, modeling designer
underwear for all time and never spurning an old man who wishes
nothing more than a little cuddle now and again." Dominator II stood
impassively as the little pervert's eyes clouded over with visions of
the heavenly robot, now with a synthetic skin and Akane's features,
scampering in a skimpy little number through his warped mind.
"Hentai!" With this warcry she elbowed the letcherous daydreamer
through the floor.
Back at the bar;
Seizing up the gun (no I don't mean it jammed, I mean he picked it
up) Terry shouted out <All right nobody move...this is a stickup>
Everyone looked at him with confusion. "Hey man, we don't speak
English."
Terry decided that given this inauspicious start to a career in crime
he would quit. (as an aside here, this criminal career got into the
Guiness Book of Records under the 'most pathetic and short' section).
----------------------------------------
* An emay fact: if you are hit in anime you accelerate and
pick up momentum as you travel, at least until you are off the
screen.
AUTHORS NOTES;
This is based in part (so far in main) on the HK action movie
Roboforce, starring the fabulous Sally Yeh (of 'the Killer' fame)
which people either love or hate (either movie) but I think was a
great bit of entertainment (especially the credit sequence). You
should watch it (or I'll keep enclosing everything in these annoying
brackets)....Oh yeah, this be my first fanfic BTW so I hope you like
it (or at least think it has some small potential)
The next chapter should be along shortly (as if anyone cares) I
actually want to finish this whole thing quickly so I can try my hand
at a darkfic. Anyone who can aid me in the completion of this
'orrible fic please do so with advice. I see about another 4 chapters
before the end of this unless I get negative feedback so heinous it
puts me off.
NeonB.
drift5@ihug.co.nz
Things we are unlikely to ever hear...
"Take me now Giant Robo...NO!...Wait, I mean ARRRGGH!"
*SPLUT*