It seems my damned mailer messed with the format of my original
post so here it is again.
Part 1/4
Altered Destinies: Most Unlikely of Friends OVA 1
Troubles a' brewing
http://www.mala.bc.ca/~tritscwa
Please direct C&C directly to me.
Felix_Tritschler@bc.sympatico.ca
tritscwa@mala.bc.ca
tritschl@malun1.mala.bc.ca
tritscwa@malun1.mala.bc.ca
Pre-reading notes: Okay, if you haven't read "Most Unlikely
of Friends" do so because you won't really get what's going on if
you don't. If you have but it's vague in your memory let me refresh
you as to what has happened. Shampoo and Akane were given a
pair of strange magical bracelets that apparently caused them to
either dream about or temporarily enter another dimension where
they were friends since the age of 7. Here Soun is married to an
odd Amazon named Soon Li, Shampoo is disowned from her
Amazon family but has been adopted by Soun and lives with the
Tendos, Shampoo and Akane have been trained by Soon Li and are
now adept in two odd styles (Lightning and Wind respectively),
Ranma is now engaged souly to Shampoo (although he was
originally given the choice between her or Akane), *breath*Akane
has the cat curse, Mousse is uncursed and has perfect vision,
Shampoo has short hair, Ryoga and Akane are dating, let's see,
hmmm, Ukyo is presently having love troubles with Perfume (she's
the Amazon that basically replaced Shampoo back at the village but
she's definitely no Shampoo-clone), Mousse is working at
Ucchan's, what else, oh yeah, and Ranma and Ryoga are being
trained by their respective love interests in their respective styles.
phew. Lost yet? Yes, read the original story. No, okay then let's
continue. I've been working on this one for a while, not nearly as
long as the first however. The focus has been switched from Akane
and Shampoo to Ukyo, Mousse, Perfume and Kodachi (yes Kodachi,
I've decided to do some experimental writing with her before I start
another project with her). I've had some more pre-release input on
this one so hopefully it will be good. I desire to hear any
commentary from you so E-mail me, please! Burn me, praise me, or
anything
in between.
This sucker is still in quasi-script style as follows:
%Chapter info
(actions)
Character speaking: {tone, actions while speaking}<Chinese
speech> Japanese speech. *sounds* [thoughts].
Double line breaks are for radical scene changes and single line
breaks are for dreams, flashbacks, fantasies, etc.
Well, that's about it so prepare yourself for the pages, and pages,
and pages ahead.
Altered Destinies: Most Unlikely of Friends OVA 1
Troubles a' brewing
%Prologue
(The Japanese teenager by the name of Ukyo Kuonji walks down a
market street on her way home from school. Her usual assortment of
small throwing spatulas and the larger battle spatula are strapped
over her school uniform. She pleasantly waves to a street side
merchant as she comes to the entrance to Ucchan's and start to
unlock the door. A man walks up beside her as she finally opens the
door (not the same man from the jewelry store).)
Man: Hello miss.
Ukyo: Uh, hi. Here for dinner?
Man: No. Actually, I saw a number of hoodlums up the street and
thought it best to warn everyone.
Ukyo: Not that bunch again. Where exactly?
(The man points up the street.)
Man: About two blocks up.
(Ukyo closes and locks the door to Ucchan's then readies her battle
spatula.)
Ukyo: Thanks. I'll just go have a friendly little chat with them.
(Ukyo starts up the street as the man watches. He nods solemnly
then turns and fades from existence. Ukyo continues walking until
she hears a number of male voices over a wall.)
Male voice 1: Come on, hand over all your precious metals.
Male voice 2: Yeah, you don't want us to get mad.
Ukyo: {to herself}Jerks.
(Ukyo leaps up onto the wall and looks into an open lot to see four
presumably teenaged boys in stupid masks surrounding another
figure. The figure has extremely short brown hair and is wearing a
dirty red and black Chinese outfit. Ukyo looks closer and discovers
the figure is a teenage Chinese girl who is cowering against the
wall. The boys close in slightly and the girl says something
fearfully in Chinese then attempts to backup. When she presses
against the wall she looks about frantically then falls to her knees,
covers her face, and starts to cry.)
Boy 3: Hey man, you made her cry.
Boy 4: {sarcastically}Yeah, way to go!
Ukyo: You fellas are going to be the ones crying in a minute.
(The four boys spin around to see Ukyo. The girl looks up
cautiously and teary eyed as well.)
Boy 2: {fearfully}Oh shit! Not her again!
Boy 3: {fearfully}Ahh, we didn't do nothing!
(Ukyo jumps down to be in front of them.)
Ukyo: Oh, so you did do something.
(The boys scream out in fear and scatter. Ukyo swings around her
battle spatula and swats one of the retreating boys in the rear before
he escapes. Ukyo watches with a smile as the boys leave her view
then starts to turn to the girl but finds the girl wrapped around her
waist babbling frantically in Chinese and crying.)
Ukyo: Hey, I'm not going to hurt you.
(The girl stops babbling and looks at Ukyo in fear. Ukyo drops her
battle spatula to the ground and holds up her hands passively.)
Ukyo: See, I'm here to help.
(The girl looks confused for a second, sniffles then releases Ukyo
and slowly get to her feet. Ukyo gives the girl a pleasant smile and
the girl returns a nervous one.)
Ukyo: Do you speak any Japanese?
(The girl looks blankly at Ukyo.)
Ukyo: Guess not.
(Ukyo reaches out and takes the girl's hand. The girl is startled for
just a second but then relaxes.)
Ukyo: Come on.
(Ukyo leads the girl out of the lot, picking up and storing her battle
spatula on the way. The girl lets Ukyo lead her back to Ucchan's
where she waits patiently as Ukyo opens the door and then follows
Ukyo inside. Ukyo directs the girl to a chair by the grill then moves
behind said grill and starts it up. The girl watches Ukyo intently as
Ukyo starts cooking up an okonomiyaki.)
Ukyo: You've had a rough day.
(Ukyo pulls out a plate, flips the finished okonomiyaki onto it and
places it before the girl.)
Ukyo: Here, on the house.
(The girl looks at the food questioningly, back up a Ukyo who gives
her a friendly smile, then cautiously takes the okonomiyaki in her
hands. She gives Ukyo another look then slowly takes a bite. Ukyo
smiles and the girl smiles back, less nervous this time, and continues
eating.)
=================================================
=====
(Ranma-kun comes up to the entrance of Ucchan's and enters. Inside
Ukyo is serving a large crowd as the girl watches her dreamily from
a table in the corner.)
Ukyo: Ranchan! Come on in!
(Ranma-kun nods then sits down at the grill. In mere seconds Ukyo
places a plate of okonomiyaki in front of him then returns to her
other customers.)
Ranma: Thanks Ucchan.
(As Ranma-kun eats his meal he continually looks over at the girl,
getting more confused by the second. Once finished he turns his
attention to Ukyo.)
Ranma: Hey Ucchan, who's the girl?
Ukyo: Actually, I haven't a clue. She was being bullied a little
earlier so I gave her a free okonomiyaki to cheer her up. Now she
won't leave.
Ranma: Ahh, did you notice the way she's looking at you?
(Ukyo takes a look at the girl who shyly smiles and waves. Ukyo
starts looking worried.)
Ukyo: No, couldn't be. Ahhh, I don't need this.
Ranma: Haven't you talked to her?
Ukyo: No, she doesn't speak Japanese, just Chinese I think.
Ranma: Get Mousse over here then.
Ukyo: Guess I better.
=================================================
=====
(A short time later Akane is walking up the street by Ucchan's when
she hears a bike bell and turns to see Shampoo, on her bike, coming
to a stop just behind her.)
Akane: What you doing Shampoo?
Shampoo: Ukyo call. Say need someone speak Chinese. Shampoo
only one available.
Akane: What's she need some who speaks Chinese for?
(Shampoo shrugs then rides the remaining distance to Ucchan's.
Akane walks up beside her and the two enter. Inside, the crowd has
thinned slightly but Ranma-kun and the girl are still present. Both
Akane and Shampoo look at the girl for a long moment then at each
other.)
Akane: Is that-
Shampoo: Perfume, yes!
Ukyo: {slightly annoyed}Shampoo?! Why couldn't Mousse come?
Shampoo: He busy getting stitches from fight with Ranma.
Ranma: Still recovering is he.
(Shampoo notices Ranma-kun and looks overjoyed.)
Shampoo: {joyfully}Ranma, you is here too!
(Ranma-kun puts his arms up to fend of Shampoo impending hug.
Ukyo looks at this with annoyance while Akane frowns but then
turns away.)
Ranma: Shampoo, please, the girl.
Shampoo: Oh, ah, yes.
(Shampoo turns and walks over to talk with Perfume. Perfume
notices Shampoo and fearfully backs away. Shampoo says
something to Perfume in Chinese. Perfume seems suspicious and
responds. The two start talking. Meanwhile, Akane moves over to
the grill and sits down next to Ranma-kun.)
Akane: So, where'd you find her?
Ukyo: That stupid bunch of school punks were harassing her.
Akane: You didn't get into a fight with her did you?
Ukyo: No, of course not, why?
Akane: She's an Amazon.
Ukyo: You're kidding. That girl is an Amazon. She was in tears at
just the prospect of being hurt!
Akane: From what Shampoo has told me she's got a thing against
pain. Her name is Perfume.
Ranma: Perfume huh. Must be rough being from a village of
warrior women and you're super sensitive to pain.
Akane: I would suspect so.
(Akane turns to watch the two Chinese girls talking then she gets up,
walks over and joins into the discussion.)
Ukyo: Hmh. {pause}Akane and Shampoo are getting along rather
well lately. So, what's going on Ranchan?
Ranma: Hey, you know about as much as I do. Ever since last
week when I saw them at that restaurant together they've been
acting... nice to each other, or at least trying.
Ukyo: Hmm.
Ranma: Creepy huh?
(Ukyo nods in agreement then returns to her work. After a moment
Shampoo and Akane suddenly start giggling and come up to the grill
together.)
Ukyo: What's so funny?
Shampoo: {through giggles}Oh it... it... *laughter*
(Ranma and Ukyo look over at Perfume who just smiles and waves
again. They look back at Shampoo and Akane who finally start to
calm.)
Ukyo: All right, spill it!
Shampoo: {amused}You is so lucky Ukyo, you have new girlfriend.
Ukyo and Ranma: WHAT?!!!
(Everyone, looks at Ukyo briefly then returns to what they were
doing.)
Ukyo: What do you mean girlfriend?!
Shampoo: {amused}Perfume say she like you VERY much for help
before. She think you like her too.
Ukyo: WHAT?! But I... All I did was be nice to her. I'm not that
type of girl. You got to explain that to her.
Shampoo: Shampoo already try. She no listen, or maybe no
understand. Can no be sure.
(Ukyo rubs her eyes in frustration.)
Ukyo: I don't need this, Tsubasa is enough trouble! What's she
doing here anyway?
Shampoo: She say she run away from village. Take first boat find
and end up here. Very lucky.
Ukyo: For you maybe.
Ranma: Why would she run away?
Shampoo: What think? She big joke in village. Imagine, woman
who cry at slightest hit, very disgraceful.
(Ukyo suddenly stops rubbing her eyes and looks at Shampoo with a
bit of anger.)
Ukyo: {slightly angry}Hey, not everyone is cut out to be a martial
artist you know!
(Shampoo is startled by Ukyo for a second but then recovers and
after a moment reluctantly nods.)
Shampoo: Yes, Ukyo is right. Not all woman make good fighter.
(Ukyo seems surprised by Shampoo's response for a second then
shakes her head and looks at Perfume.)
Ukyo: Well, what in the world am I supposed to do about her?
Shampoo: Shampoo no know. Shampoo offer for her stay at
Nekohanten but she say no. Maybe she stay here?
(Ukyo considers for minute.)
Ukyo: *sigh*I guess so, but only for a while. I don't need some
weird girl chasing after me. I want you to make it perfectly clear to
her that I'm not interested. {pause}And if any of you breath a word
of this-
Akane: Not a word.
Ranma: Wouldn't think of it.
(Shampoo considers.)
Ukyo: Shampoo!
(Shampoo continues to consider then finally shrugs and nods.)
Customer: Ah, miss?
Ukyo: Be right there.
(Ukyo moves off to serve the customer.)
Ranma: You did tell her that Ukyo is a girl?
Shampoo: Of course. Shampoo is equally surprised. Thought
Perfume like men.
Akane: Guess she isn't too particular about gender. We were
bound to run into one of them eventually around here.
Ranma: {as he gets up}As long as she isn't after me.
(Ranma-kun leaves. Shampoo walks over to talk to Perfume for a
brief moment. Perfume gradually seems more and more
downhearted then finally nods as Shampoo starts to leave. Akane
follows after her.)
Akane: I wonder, maybe she knew in the other world too.
Shampoo: Maybe.
(Shampoo gets on her bike but Akane steps in the way.)
Akane: Shampoo, you still have the bracelet right?
(Shampoo nods.)
Akane: Look, there's alot of questions I have about those bracelets
and the other world. {pause}Do you want to try using them again?
Shampoo: But magic is all gone.
Akane: Maybe, we don't know that for sure. {pause}I know you
want to go back there Shampoo and I can't blame you. Why don't
we just try? It won't hurt any.
(Shampoo considers briefly then nods.)
Shampoo: Okay, Shampoo wear bracelet tonight.
Akane: Great.
=================================================
=====
(That night Akane is yawning as she sits down on her bed. P-chan
sits by her pillow. Akane looks at the little pig then looks at the
bracelet of falcons on her wrist.)
Akane: Hmh, maybe now I'll be able to find out why I got so mad at
Ryoga last time.
(P-chan suddenly looks nervous causing Akane to turn her attention
to him.)
Akane: {concerned}What's wrong P-chan? Oh, you're worried
about that nasty old Ranma aren't you. Well, don't worry, if he tries
anything...
(Akane pounds one of her fists into the palm of the other then smiles
and pets the pig. It seems to calm slightly. Akane yawns again then
goes over to the door and turns off the light.)
=================================================
=====
(Slightly across town at the Nekohanten, Shampoo is hauling the
unconscious form of Mousse up the stairs without much regard for
his condition.)
Shampoo: [Stupid Mousse. Why you always bothering Shampoo?
Can you no get point?!]
(Shampoo opens up the door to a bedroom and enters. Inside the
room a old ragged mat lays in the corner along with several piles of
all manor of weapons. Shampoo looks about the room briefly then
drags Mousse over to the mat and dumps him on it. She starts to
leave then stops and looks back at him for a moment.)
Shampoo: [Can you no see we no meant to be Mousse?
{pause}You be better off with other girl.]
(Shampoo eyes briefly turn to the floor then she turns and walks out,
closing the door. She walks down the hall and opens the door to
another bedroom. She walks inside and heads over to the wall
where a sword, inside it's scabbard, is hanging on the wall. She
pulls out two bondori and places them underneath the sword in a
case and heads over to the dresser. She opens the drawer, takes out
the bracelet of dragons and puts it on. She looks at it then smiles.)
Shampoo: [Akane right. Shampoo wish could go back.]
*sigh*[Almost wish could stay forever.]
=================================================
=====
(Late that night Akane (P-chan by her side) and Shampoo are fast
asleep. The bracelets on each of their wrists begin to dimly glow.)
%End Prologue
=================================================
=====
%Part 1
(Akane springs up to a sitting position in her bed then looks at her
wrist with the bracelet. She looks to the side to see Shampoo (short
haired) doing likewise in her bed.)
Akane: Did you-
Shampoo: Have dream, yes. Very strange.
Akane: Tell me about it. I didn't really like that.
=================================================
=====
(Later Shampoo is inside Ucchan's talking with Mousse who is
examining a scroll.)
Mousse: <Yeah, here it is. It says here the bracelets can cause the
wearers to gain a friendship or value a present friendship more.
This dream about that other world must be the bracelets' way of
making you value your friendship with Akane more. This is the first
night you wore them together, isn't it?>
Shampoo: <Yes.>
Mousse: <Yeah, then that's it then.>
Shampoo: <Well, I didn't like it one bit. Will this always
happen?>
Mousse: <Don't know. If you don't wear them at night it
shouldn't.>
Shampoo: <Good. I'll tell Akane. {pause}It seemed so real.>
Mousse: <It was just a dream. Don't worry about it.>
Shampoo: <Maybe. {pause}Thanks Mousse.>
(Mousse nods as Shampoo turns and leaves. She looks up the road
to see Ukyo (dressed in a much more male fashion) walking down a
crowded market street towards the restaurant. Perfume (with much
longer hair) follows her very closely. Shampoo shakes her head
then walks off.)
Perfume: But is law-
Ukyo: Perfume, I'm sorry, I'm just not ready for marriage right
now.
Perfume: You no like me?
Ukyo: No, I... I do like you, it's just that I'm not planning on
getting
married any time soon. Why don't you find yourself some nice
fellow from your village, like maybe Mousse?
Perfume: Mousse?! I no like Mousse! He arrogant, annoying,
chase after other woman and make fun of me.
Ukyo: That was a long time ago.
Perfume: Well, I no forgive him. Besides, I love you, not him.
Ukyo: *sigh*Perfume, trust me, we're just not right for each other.
Perfume: But-
Ukyo: No.
Perfume: *sigh*
(Ukyo turns and enters Ucchan's but Perfume stops outside the
entrance, bows her head sadly and returns the way she came. Inside
the restaurant Ukyo starts to ready the grill when Mousse (with no
glasses) comes out from the back.)
Mousse: No luck?
Ukyo: I don't think so. I wish she'd just give up.
Mousse: Not likely. Amazon woman are very persistent.
Ukyo: Hmm.
Mousse: I could go challenge her.
Ukyo: No. Ranma did that and she can only tolerate him. I think
she needs to like you first. If only I wasn't so nice to her when we
first met.
Mousse: Oh well.
=================================================
=====
(Akane stands listening to Shampoo inside the Nekohanten. Soon Li
is cooking in the kitchen and Cologne sits waiting at a table.)
Akane: Hmm, so it was just the bracelets. I thought so.
Shampoo: But Akane, in other... the other world it was dream... a
dream too. How can we-
Akane: It was nothing but a dream Shampoo.
Shampoo: But...
(Akane seems momentarily indecisive but then looks determined.)
Akane: Let's not worry about it. It was just some stupid dream. As
far as I'm concerned it did it's job. I like it the way it is more than
ever. Now I'm just going to forget about it and you should too.
(Shampoo nods then starts to leave, exchanging a cold look with
Cologne on the way. As she steps out of the door and Akane returns
to serving customers Perfume sadly enters.)
Cologne: Well child?
Perfume: He say no.
Cologne: Then I see no further point in talk. Action must be taken.
Akane: You know, maybe if you just gave it-
Cologne: This is none of your concern Akane Tendo so keep your
opinions to yourself.
Akane: {muttering}Well, excussse me.
Cologne: Come, take me to see this man.
=================================================
=====
(A short time later, back at Ucchan's (which is empty except for
Mousse and Ukyo) Perfume enters, somewhat fearfully, followed by
Cologne. Ukyo looks up from her cleaning of the grill and Mousse
tenses up. Cologne examines Ukyo for a moment, causing the
younger girl to self consciously withdraw a few centimeters.
Mousse slowly and cautiously starts to move towards Ukyo.
Cologne finally turns to Perfume and starts talking with her in
Chinese. Mousse suddenly stops, looks startled and somewhat
relaxes as Cologne turns back to Ukyo.)
Cologne: So, you are the... mate that Perfume has chosen.
Ukyo: Uh, look, like I told her, I'm not into a marriage at this time.
Cologne: You seem to think you have a choice in the matter.
Ukyo: Well, I think I do.
(Cologne smiles then hops up onto the grill and thrusts her staff into
Ukyo's chest, forcing her to the wall.)
Cologne: Then you are gravely mistaken. It is Amazon tradition
and law that Perfume marry you. You will consent to this marriage
one way or another.
Ukyo: I'm not being forced into anything lady.
(Cologne pulls back her staff and hops back to the ground.)
Cologne: We shall see. Perfume, come.
(Cologne leaves. Perfume starts to follow then turns back to Ukyo
with a nervous smile.)
Perfume: I very sorry about this.
(Perfume bows her head and sadly follows Cologne.)
Mousse: You're in big trouble.
Ukyo: Hmh?
Mousse: Well, ahem, ahh, it seems that the disguise isn't necessary
after all.
Ukyo: {surprised}WHAT?!
Mousse: Perfume knows you're female.
Ukyo: But I thought-
Mousse: I did too. Let me go check on that for a sec.
(Mousse walks into the back while Ukyo rubs her eyes. A man
comes in and walks up to sit next to the grill. Ukyo gives him a
courteous smile.)
Ukyo: What can I get you sugar?
Man: Give me one of those deluxes.
Ukyo: Coming right up.
(Ukyo starts up the grill and pours the batter on. Mousse comes out
of the back reading a book.)
Mousse: Oh brother.
Ukyo: What?
Mousse: Article 12, section 5, sub-paragraph 3, point 6 and I quote:
"if an Amazon female is defeated by an outsider female, but that
Amazon female is of different sexual preference, she may choose to
kill the outsider or to take the outsider as her mate."
Ukyo: You're kidding?!!
(Mousse hands the book to Ukyo.)
Mousse: Read it yourself.
(Ukyo looks over the book then bows her head in despair.)
Ukyo: Why me?! What'd I ever do to deserve this?!
Mousse: Just lucky I guess.
(Ukyo scowls at Mousse then starts to take the cooking okonomiyaki
from the grill with a spatula but suddenly withdraws her hand with a
yelp of pain.)
Mousse: {concerned}What's wrong?
Ukyo: {while examining her hand which has a slight burn on it)I got
burnt. How the heck did that happen?
(Mousse grabs a hold of the spatula (which is still on the grill) and
easily picks it up.)
Mousse: It's a little warm but it couldn't have possibly burnt you.
(Ukyo tries to touch the spatula's handle but again withdraws her
hand with a yelp.)
Ukyo: IT'S SEARING HOT! How can you hold that?!
Mousse: No it's not.
Man: Uh, could I get my food please.
Mousse: Oh, yeah, here.
(Mousse uses the spatula to flip the cooked okonomiyaki to the
customer then turns back to Ukyo.)
Mousse: See, it's barely even warm. I just don't... {pause}Wait a
second. Oh no. Come on. We got to get you to Dr. Tofu right away.
Ukyo: Why?
Mousse: I think Cologne used a pressure point on you.
=================================================
=====
(A short time later at Dr. Tofu's clinic, Dr. Tofu just finished
examining Ukyo and is looking at an X-ray. Mousse stands behind
Ukyo.)
Ukyo: Cat's tongue?!
Dr. Tofu: I'm afraid so. You're whole body is now super sensitive
to heat. Even mild temperatures above normal room temperature
will seem like they're boiling to you. The burn is more
psychosomatic than real damage but that is nearly as bad.
Ukyo: How long does this last?
Dr. Tofu: It's permanent.
Ukyo: {extremely tense}No!! You have to be able to reverse this.
Dr. Tofu: I'm afraid not. This particular point is very hard to
correctly manipulate and I'm afraid I'm just not qualified. I could
give you a one time temporary fix but that's the best I can do.
Ukyo: {near breakdown}But... but... I can't cook like this! I can't
even get near the grill! What am I going to do?
Dr. Tofu: The only thing I can advise is to see Cologne and ask her.
Ukyo: Right, the ghoul, yeah.
(Ukyo quickly gets up and starts to run out of the clinic. Mousse
quickly chases after her.)
Mousse: Ukyo, wait!
Ukyo: What?
Mousse: She already told you what she wants, for you to consent to
marrying Perfume.
(Ukyo stops and turns to Mousse.)
Ukyo: But that's nuts! I can't marry a girl!
Mousse: Then what are you going to do?
Ukyo: I'll force her to fix this.
Mousse: Akane nearly died in a fight with Cologne and you expect
to beat her? I don't think so.
(Ukyo turns and starts to run off.)
Ukyo: I don't care! It's all that I have left and I'm not going to let
the old bat take it from me!
(Mousse shakes his head then resumes his pursuit of Ukyo.)
=================================================
=====
(Moments later Ukyo rushes into the Nekohanten. Cologne waits
calmly at a table. Akane gives Ukyo a confused look.)
Akane: Ukyo? What are you doing here?
(Mousse comes in while Perfume comes out from the kitchen.)
Ukyo: Ask the ghoul!
Cologne: I see you discovered your little problem.
Ukyo: You better fix this right now or you're going to be in for a
hell of a lot of trouble!
Cologne: Is that so? Well, if you can defeat me I'll gladly undo the
cat tongue point.
Ukyo: Fine!
(Ukyo readies her giant spatula and rushes Cologne with a furious
charge. Cologne hops to the side and taps Ukyo in the back as she
passes sending her into the floor. Ukyo struggles to push herself
back up as Mousse moves over to be beside Perfume. Ukyo stands
up then sends several spatulas flying at Cologne. Cologne spins her
staff and deflect the incoming projectiles.)
Cologne: Is this the best you can do miss Kuonji? It's a miracle
you ever defeated Perfume.
Ukyo: Shut up!
(Ukyo attempts another rush but Cologne knocks her to the floor with
two quick staff thrusts. Cologne, in a blur of movement, knocks
Ukyo's giant spatula and remaining throwing spatulas away. Ukyo
flips to her feet then attempts a kick at Cologne but the old woman
counters with a blur of strikes that sends Ukyo flying through the
doorway and into the street.)
Perfume: {concerned}Airen!
(Perfume rushes out the door followed closely by Mousse. Cologne
shakes her head in disappointment then returns to her table. Akane
watches this all in confusion.)
=================================================
=====
(Many hours later Ukyo groans and opens her eyes to find herself
bandaged and laying on her bed at Ucchan's. Before she can
manage to sit up Perfume suddenly hugs her fiercely.)
Perfume: Oh airen, was so worried! You is okay, yes?
Ukyo: {angrily}Perfume, let me go!
(Perfume withdraws in fear and Ukyo sits up.)
Ukyo: {angrily}How could you do this to me?! Don't you
understand, I'm not going to marry you!
Perfume: I is sorry. I no know Cologne do that. I no want hurt
husband.
Ukyo: Why do you keep calling me your husband? I'm a woman,
not a man.
Perfume: Thought you like acting as boy. I... ah... play along.
(Ukyo drops her face into her hands and shakes her head.)
Perfume: I is really sorry. {pause}I help you get cure if want.
(Ukyo looks up at Perfume suspiciously.)
Ukyo: Why?
Perfume: I no want you become mate through force.
Ukyo: Then tell Cologne that.
Perfume: I did. She no change mind.
(Ukyo drops her face back into her hands. After a minute Ukyo
looks back up at Perfume.)
Ukyo: Look, Perfume, I'm not like you. I'm not attracted to other
girls.
(Perfume looks at Ukyo in confusion.)
Ukyo: You do know that some people are only attracted to people
of the opposite sex don't you?
Perfume: I no understand. I know girl would prefer boy but if find
good-
Ukyo: Nonono, you may be like that but I'm not.
Perfume: How know?
Ukyo: Uh, I just do.
Perfume: Have ever given other girl chance? I be very good wife
for you.
Ukyo: I'm sure you could be a good wife but-
Perfume: Then give me chance. I show you I be good wife.
Ukyo: Perfume, you don't understand.
Perfume: {sadly}You no like me.
Ukyo: Nono-
Perfume: {depressed}I knew it. No one ever like weakling girl
like me. I going to be alone for rest of life! *sob*
(Perfume starts to break into tears.)
Ukyo: Nono, that's not what I mean! I do like you, just-
Perfume: {hopeful}You do?
Ukyo: Yes but-
(Perfume suddenly grabs Ukyo again in a fierce hug that knock the
air out of her.)
Perfume: Oh, you make me so happy. I show you be good wife.
Ukyo: {weakly}But-
(Perfume lets Ukyo go then rushes to the door.)
Perfume: I go find cure for you right now. I make you very proud.
(Perfume rushes out before Ukyo can respond. Ukyo looks down at
the floor in despair then starts rubbing her temples as Mousse comes
to the doorway.)
Mousse: Ahem.
(Ukyo looks up at Mousse.)
Mousse: I take it things aren't going so well.
Ukyo: I said I liked her and she jumped to the conclusion that I
loved her. Now I know how Ranma must have felt.
Mousse: You know, this is the 90s after all, you could give her a
chance.
Ukyo: Have you lost your mind?! I'm not like that! I'm not!!!
Mousse: Yeah, I know, just joking.
Ukyo: It's not funny.
Mousse: Sorry. Look, I can handle the restaurant for a while so
don't get worried.
Ukyo: It's not that Mousse. {pause}I had two driving forces in my
life, Ranma and my cooking. I've lost Ranma, I can't lose this too.
I can't take that. I just can't.
(Mousse walks in and sits down next to Ukyo.)
Mousse: Don't give up hope. Perfume said she'd help, so will I,
and I'm sure the others will too if necessary. We won't let her get
away with this, I promise.
Ukyo: Thanks.
Mousse: It's the least I can do for such a nice employer.
Ukyo: *small laugh*
=================================================
=====
(The next day Ukyo is rushing through the rain on her way to school.
She stops briefly below a tarp in front of a shop and shakes out her
hair. A whistle causes her to turn and she sees Ranma-chan rushing
up the street with Shampoo-cat in her arms and several school bags
on her back. Following behind them are Akane-cat and Ryoga-pig
(otherwise known as P-chan in certain other worlds).)
Ranma: Ukyo! Can you give me a hand here?
Ukyo: *sigh*Yeah, sure.
(Ukyo takes some of the school bags off Ranma-chan then picks up
Ryoga-pig and Akane-cat when they get close enough. Together
with Ranma-chan they rush the remaining distance to the school and
stop just outside the washrooms in the school. Ukyo waits outside
as the others enter the respective washroom (Ranma-chan goes into
the boys washroom). A moment later Ranma-kun comes out.)
Ranma: I swear that weather man is dead when I get my hands on
him!
Ukyo: You should use umbrellas.
Ranma: Now there's an idea. {pause}How you doing?
Ukyo: Lousy.
Ranma: Hey, if you need any help clobbering-
Ukyo: What good would that do? I need her to fix this stupid thing
and the only way she'll do that is if I, stress I, beat her.
Ranma: Yeah, I guess that does pose a slight problem.
Shampoo: Ukyo will beat old hag.
(Shampoo (dressed in her school uniform) appears from the
washroom followed by Akane(also dressed in her school uniform).)
Shampoo: She is no perfect. Ukyo just need train.
Ukyo: Train?! I lasted a total of 10 seconds last time I fought her.
Shampoo: Shampoo has done worse and come back to beat
opponent, Ukyo can too.
Akane: Yeah, don't let that old hag get to you. She's human and she
can be defeated, admittedly not easily but it can be done.
Ukyo: I hope you're right because if you're not...
(Ukyo shakes her head and walks off. Ranma-kun, Shampoo and
Akane watch her go then Ranma-kun sighs.)
Ranma: This is nearly as bad as when I told her about my
engagement. {pause}What's taking Ryoga so long?
(Ranma-kun goes into the men washroom.)
Ranma (from inside the washroom): Ryoga, you idiot! That's the
bathroom stall! This is the exit! {pause}NO! This way!
{pause}THAT'S THE WINDOW!!! Ahh, come on!
(Ranma-kun comes out of the washroom with Ryoga (dressed in a
school uniform) in tow.)
Ryoga: Give me a break, I'm new here. I need time to get my
bearings straight.
Ranma: Oh please! We're late enough as it is!
=================================================
=====
(Later that day Ranma-kun is sitting below a tree examining his
lunch. Shampoo comes over and sits down next to him. Ranma-kun
pulls out small plastic box and shows it to Shampoo.)
Ranma: What is this stuff?
Shampoo: Akane try... is trying a new recipe. Shampoo... I sure...
I'm sure it's good.
(Ranma examines the contents of the plastic box then takes out some
chopsticks and begins eating. After a moment he nods.)
Ranma: Not bad but why does she insist on trying new recipes
every other day.
Shampoo: She trying... is trying to broaden her horizons, as she
say... said.
Ranma: Her horizons are wide enough. Some of this stuff I'm not
too sure about.
Shampoo: At least you no... didn't taste her early creations.
Shampoo... I had to suffer through them for two months while... I
taught her to cook.
Ranma: Come on, it couldn't have been that bad.
Shampoo: Ranma, she once use...d salt instead of sugar to make a
cake.
(Ranma-kun gives a look of shear disgust.)
Shampoo: And that was after a month and a half of training.
Ranma: Amazing. {pause}You forgot to speak correctly this
morning.
(Shampoo scowls.)
Shampoo: {brooding}It just thought of gr... Cologne that make
Shampoo so mad!
(Ranma nods in agreement.)
Ranma: She can be quite the nuisance but she's been relatively civil
since the fight.
Shampoo: {brooding}Still can no believe she actually try kill
Akane. Is unforgivable!
Ranma: Well, the way I see it, if she-
Female voices: Lecher! Pervert! Get him!
(Ranma-kun and Shampoo turn to see a tiny little man, very old in
appearance, wearing ninja style garbs, and carrying a large sack
over his back, running from a large group of girls carrying various
crude weapons.)
Ranma: What the...
(Suddenly Akane leaps over the crowd and starts closing the gab
between herself and the old man. With a quick burst of speed she
manages to catch up and grab the old man and lifts him from the
ground. The crowd of girl surround her and the old man, and they
stare evilly at him.)
Akane: All right, you better have a good explanation for this.
Old man: Well, you see it's like this... ahh...
Girl in crowd: Let him loose Akane so we can cream him.
Old man: {excited}Akane? You're Akane?
Akane: Ahh, yeah.
(Suddenly Akane finds the old man embedded in her chest, between
her breasts.)
Old man: {excited}Oh Akane, it's been so long!
(Akane smashes the old man to the ground with her fist just as
Shampoo and Ranma-kun make their way through the crowd.)
Akane: {angrily}What do you think you're doing you old lech?!
Who are you?
Old man: {depressed}You don't remember me. I... I... I'm heart
broken. After all I did for you how could you forget me?!
(The old man breaks into tears.)
Akane: Do you know this man Shampoo?
Shampoo: No. Never seen before... him before.
Ranma: Okay old man, just who are you supposed to be?
(The old man suddenly stops crying.)
Old man: Why, I'm Soun Tendo's master of course.
Akane: Master?! You taught my dad?!
Old man: Most certainly did. Taught him every little thing he
knows.
Ranma: Hmmmm, that would probably account for Pop.
Old man: Oh, so you're Ranma are you, Genma's son. Hmmm
(The old man suddenly leaps around, examining Ranma-kun from
various angles and finally stops in front of him with frown and a
nod.)
Old man: Not too shabby. Genma has been doing his job after all.
Ranma: Could have fooled me. So, what brings you around...
What's your name?
Old man: You may refer to me as master Happosai.
Ranma: Yeah, whatever. What are you doing here anyway?
Old man: Oh, just thought I'd pay a visit to my old pupils. We
didn't exactly get to make a proper farewell when I last saw them.
(Ranma-kun looks up at the school clock.)
Ranma: Well, we got enough time to get there and back.
Akane: Fine, you two take him.
(Akane grabs up the sack which is lying on the ground and throws it
to the girls.)
Happosai: Hey, those are mine!
Akane: No they aren't. You stole them, now get going before we
decide to clobber you.
(Happosai reluctantly turns and starts to follow Ranma-kun and
Shampoo through the still very angry crowd of girls. Just then Kuno
flies over head.)
Kuno: I shall have vengeance Hibiki! I shall defeat your foul
magics and free the beautiful Akane Tendo once more.
Akane: Oops, forgot about that.
(Akane runs off in the opposite direction that Kuno is flying. A
short distance away Ukyo watches Ranma-kun and Shampoo leave
with Happosai then sighs and starts walking back towards the
school.)
Ukyo: [Not a chance in hell of those two breaking up anytime soon!
I can't believe my bloody luck! The man I fall in love with runs off,
then I find out he didn't even know I was a woman. To top it off I
never even had a chance at regaining him. Damn that... that... No,
can't blame her. Can't blame him either. Now this stupid, blasted
ghoul comes in. What next?! Why doesn't a meteor come in right
now and crush my skull?! At least then I finally get some peace.]
(Suddenly Perfume lands in front of Ukyo, startling her.)
Perfume: Ukyo!
(Perfume happily hugs Ukyo.)
Ukyo: Perfume, hey, do you mind! People are watching you know!
(Perfume releases Ukyo and smiles shyly.)
Perfume: Sorry, no mean embarrass you. Ahhh, have good news, I
find cure.
Ukyo: {excite}What? How?
Perfume: Is Phoenix pill. It give great heat resistance. With you,
restore normal resistance.
Ukyo: {excited}All right!! Where can I find it?
(Perfume looks down at her feet and scraps her shoe over the grass.)
Perfume: That is bad part. Cologne has it.
(All of Ukyo's excitement drains away to nothingness and she
slumps to the ground.)
Ukyo: {depressed}Great.
(Perfume kneels down on the ground to look Ukyo in the eye.)
Perfume: Not that bad. All Ukyo have do is take pill from Cologne,
not defeat.
(Ukyo considers this for a minute.)
Ukyo: That would be easier. Where does she keep it?
Perfume: No know, but Cologne make deal with you, if take amulet
she wear then she tell where Phoenix pill is, if can not you agree to
marriage. I is sorry could not get better deal.
Ukyo: How long do I have?
Perfume: As long as need but only get challenge once.
Ukyo: Grabbing some stupid amulet shouldn't be that tough.
Perfume: You no know Cologne. She very fast, faster than me. Is
tougher task than think.
Ukyo: Ranma beat you.
Perfume: He use... Grand Lightning Punch. Is fast technique, much
faster than Kachu Tenshin Amaguriken. Maybe he teach or
Shampoo, she know too.
Ukyo: Yeah, how tough could it be.
=================================================
=====
(Later that day, at Ucchan's, Ukyo is on the phone in the back room.)
Ukyo: What do you mean you have problems? {pause}You mean
that old guy- {pause}You're kidding. {pause}What about
Shampoo? {pause}Yeah, but- {pause} Hmm. {pause}Well can't
she- {pause}I don't know if I can last that long. {pause}You sure
you can't? {pause}*sigh*Well, thanks anyway. Bye.
(Ukyo hangs up the phone and heads into the dinning area. Several
customers sit throughout the room, Mousse is at the grill cooking and
Perfume sits at an empty table. As soon as Ukyo enters Mousse and
Perfume both come to her.)
Mousse: Well?
Ukyo: Ranma has his hands full with that old man they met this
morning and Shampoo is having more troubles with Kodachi. He
figures a week at least until one of them will have enough time.
Mousse: A week, that's not so bad.
Ukyo: I can't last a week, I'm going crazy as is and this is just the
second day. In a week I will be hanging from the ceiling.
Mousse: Then we'll just have to improvise. Perfume, the Kachu
Tenshin Amaguriken, you know it right?
Perfume: Yes.
Mousse: Good, that'll have to do.
Ukyo: But Cologne knows that technique and she's even faster than
Perfume.
Mousse: Then we'll just have to modify it a little, but first you need
to learn it.
Ukyo: All right, what do I have to do?
Perfume: Grab chestnuts from open fire.
Ukyo: WHAT?!
=================================================
=====
(A few days later we find Ryoga running down a market road. In
close pursuit is Kuno, bokken draw for battle.)
Kuno: Face the darkness of forever Hibiki! I shall defeat you and
end your rain of terror over my love!
Ryoga: Give it a break would you Kuno! [Geez, I wonder if this is
how Ranma felt when I was chasing him.] {pause}Ahh, hell with it!
(Ryoga suddenly stops and leaps into the air, drawing his umbrella.
He spins around, spins the umbrella then sends it spiraling at Kuno
with a wind beginning to surround it.)
Ryoga: UMBRELLA CYCLONE ASSAULT!!!
(Kuno braces for the attack but is blown off his feet and into a
nearby pile of garbage. Ryoga lands then grabs his umbrella as it
spins back to him. Kuno groans then passes out. Ryoga nods with
satisfaction, turns around then stops and looks at his surroundings in
confusion.)
Ryoga: Dammit, not again! Where am I now?!!
(Akane comes running up from street from the way Kuno and Ryoga
came.)
Akane: Ryoga! Don't move!
Ryoga: {to the sky as he turns to see Akane}Thank you, thank you,
thank you.
(Akane comes to a stop next to Ryoga.)
Akane: Huh?
Ryoga: Nothing, just glad to see you.
Akane: {as she looks back at Kuno}When's he going to get it?
Ryoga: Soon I hope.
Akane: I wouldn't count on it.
(Akane looks back at Ryoga.)
Akane: I'm starved, let's go somewhere.
Ryoga: Sure, ahh, where?
Akane: Ummm, well, I should go check on how Ukyo is doing. We
can eat there. Come on.
(Akane smiles at Ryoga and takes his hand. Ryoga blushes and lets
Akane lead him down the road until they arrive at Ucchan's. They
enter and find Mousse cooking for a few customers. They walk
over to an empty table and sit down. After a moment Mousse comes
over.)
Mousse: Hi there, social visit or are you here to eat?
Akane: Both. We'll just have our usual.
Mousse: Sure.
Akane: Where's Ukyo?
Mousse: Out back with Perfume. She isn't doing so good.
(Mousse goes back to the grill.)
Ryoga: Maybe if we all ganged up on her we could force her to tell
us where the pill is.
Akane: Cologne's not the type of person to be intimidated. She can
stare down Soon Li and I get goose pimps when Soon Li gives me a
stern look. No, I'm afraid Ukyo's stuck.
Ryoga: We could try searching again.
Akane: Where? I've looked everywhere I can possibly think of.
She must of hid it someplace we don't know about. It's just no
good. {pause, then as she stands up}You wait here, I'm going to
talk to Ukyo. Be back in a minute or two.
Ryoga: Sure.
(Ryoga watches as Akane walks off into the back room then sighs in
contentment and leans back.)
Ryoga: [What bliss. Finally my life shows a hint of light. Hint!
This is a blazing star of joy!]
(Ryoga smiles then starts to ponder something as Mousse sits down
across from him.)
Mousse: Have some sort of problem?
Ryoga: Ah, yeah. {pause}I... Well, we've, you know, been da..
dating for a while now but...
Mousse: You want to try for something more.
Ryoga: Ahh, yeah, I guess so.
Mousse: Can't handle the stress huh?
(Ryoga bows his head and nods sadly.)
Mousse: I've always been of the policy that if you want something
you should go for it.
Ryoga: {looking back up, hopefully}You think so?
Mousse: Yeah, but then again I lost what I wanted.
(Ryoga goes back to his sad look.)
Mousse: I'll go get your meals.
=================================================
=====
(Outside Ucchan's Perfume is busy wrapping bandages on Ukyo's
slightly burned hands with Akane watching. A small fire burns a
few feet away.)
Akane: Ukyo, burning your hands off won't solve your problem.
Ukyo: I'm going to learn this stupid technique and beat that damned
ghoul if it's the last thing I do.
Akane: It very well may be if you don't take it easy. Perfume, how
long did it take you to learn this technique?
Perfume: {nervously}Month or so.
Ukyo: A MONTH!!! Why didn't you tell me that before?!!
Perfume: {extremely nervous}Well, ahh... umm...
Ukyo: Just great! Just great!
(Perfume finishes with the bandages and gets up nervously.)
Perfume: I go help Mousse, okay?
Ukyo: Whatever!
(Perfume nervously leaves and Ukyo turns back to the fire and stares
at it angrily. Her anger turns to despair and she bows her head and
shakes it.)
Ukyo: {depressed}I can't take this anymore, I can't.
Akane: Don't talk like that.
Ukyo: {near breakdown}I... I just can't. I can't last a month, a
week, another day even. DAMN HER!!!
(Ukyo slams her fists onto the ground while Akane sadly watches.
After a moment Ukyo stops and stands up, breathing hard and
looking desperate.)
Ukyo: I have to give in.
Akane: No, come on-
Ukyo: I HAVE TO!! Akane, I can't take this any longer. One more
day and I'll lose it completely. I don't care anymore, anything is
better than this.
Akane: No, you can't give into her, you can't! You can do this.
Ukyo: I CAN'T!!! I CAN'T!!!! It's too much for me to take! I'll
lose everything I have if this goes any longer, everything.
(Ukyo starts to walk rapidly off but Akane rushes in front of her and
blocks her path.)
Akane: {sternly}Ukyo, get a hold of yourself! Are you going to let
some old crone defeat you with some stupid trick?!!
(Ukyo considers this.)
Akane: If you give in now you'll be trapped in a false marriage to
another woman. You won't be happy, even she won't be happy
really. You got to hold out, not only for yourself but for her too.
(Ukyo slowly nods then gets more determined and nods some more.)
Ukyo: You're right, you're right, but what do I do? I'm no closer to
learning this dumb technique than I was two days ago.
Akane: Maybe you're just going about it the wrong way. Maybe
some alternate form of training is in order.
Ukyo: Like what?
Akane: I don't know. You're just going to have to find something.
(Ukyo considers for a moment then nods. She rubs her face.)
Ukyo: *sigh*I need to go for a walk. {pause}Thanks Akane, I
was...
Akane: Yeah, yeah, don't worry about it. Can happen to the best of
us, especially with Cologne involved.
(Ukyo nods then walks off past Akane. Akane watches her go then
heads back into Ucchan's and sits down with Ryoga. Perfume
brings over two plates of okonomiyaki.)
Perfume: Is Ukyo better now?
Akane: For now. Perfume, are you sure you can't remember
anything about where she might have hidden that pill?
Perfume: No remember anything.
Akane: Well, unless something drastic happens really soon, she's
not going to make it.
(At the grill Mousse looks up with a hint of concern. He thinks for a
second then returns to his work.)
=================================================
=====
(Shampoo lays on her bed reading a book. She scowls every few
seconds then finally puts the book down on her chest and rubs her
eyes. When she opens her eyes again Ranma-kun is leaning over
her.)
Shampoo: {startled}Ranma?
Ranma: You know, I've been thinking...
Shampoo: About what?
Ranma: Oh, I think it's time.
Shampoo: {confused}Time for-
(Ranma-kun cuts Shampoo off by kissing her on the lips. She closes
her eyes and starts to wrap her arms around Ranma but suddenly
finds him hugging her about the chest. She looks down at him in
confusion.)
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
--------
(Shampoo wakes up on her bed, bats a book off her face and looks
down to see Happosai nestled between her breasts. She cringes
then begins to shake angrily.)
=================================================
=====
(In the Tendo common room Soun and Genma are busy playing a
game of Go when a huge crash of thunder is heard.)
Shampoo (from upstairs): HAPPOSAI, YOU I KILL!!!!!!
(Another crash of thunder followed by running feet is heard.
Streams of tears come down from Soun's eyes.)
Soun: {sadly}I was feeling so good until he came.
(Genma nods in agreement. Suddenly Ranma-kun runs into the
room.)
Ranma: {as he runs around the corner}That's it! He's dead!!!
(Seconds later a new set crashes and thunder is heard upstairs.)
=================================================
=====
(Elsewhere, Akane and Ryoga (Akane in the lead) are walking home
from Ucchan's. Ryoga is fidgeting with his fingers nervously.
Akane looks back at Ryoga.)
Akane: Something wrong Ryoga?
Ryoga: {nervously}Ahh, nonono, I'm fine, fine, really.
Akane: {as she looks forward again}Okay.
(Ryoga fidgets for a few seconds longer then increases his pace to
be beside Akane.)
Ryoga: {nervously}Ahh, Akane, you... ahhh... like me, right?
Akane: Of course.
Ryoga: {nervously}I mean we've been... dating for a while now
right?
Akane: Yes.
(They come to the gate to the Tendos' and stop while Akane opens
it.)
Ryoga: {nervously}You know that I... ah... really like... I mean
love... ah you right.
(Akane finishes opening the gate and turns to Ryoga, a little
excited.)
Akane: Of course I do.
Ryoga: {nervously}Well, I... umm... wanted to... ask you if maybe...
possibly... if you'd like to... maybe... ahhh...
Akane: {anxiously exited}Yes?
(Ryoga fidgets nervously then after a moment moves closer to
Akane, looking her directly in the eyes.)
Ryoga: {nervously}Ahh, well...
(Ryoga looks off to the side then back at Akane. He starts to lean
over just a little towards Akane when...)
Happosai: Akane, save me!
(Akane suddenly finds Happosai attached to her chest and lets out a
startled scream. Ryoga is so startled he can do little more than blink
in confusion. Akane fumes and slams the old man into the ground as
Shampoo and Ranma-kun come racing towards them.)
Akane: DIE YOU PERVERT!!!
(Akane attempts to kick Happosai but he leaps to a nearby rooftop
and runs off laughing.)
Akane: {angrily}He's not going to get away with this!!
(Akane leaps to the roof after him and is soon followed by Ranma-
kun and Shampoo. Ryoga sighs in disappointment then looks angry
and races after the others.)
Ryoga: [Damn that old freak!!! I was so close!!!]
=================================================
=====
(Later that night, Mousse is sitting in the empty Ucchan's. He looks
at the door then gets up and walks into the back room. A moment
later he returns carrying a bottle and sits down at a table.)
Mousse: [Where the hell is she? You'd think she'd at least call.]
(Mousse takes a sip of the drink then pulls out a picture of Shampoo
and looks at it sadly.)
Mousse: {sadly}Shampoo.
(Mousse continues to look at the picture for another minute while
taking a sip of his drink. He looks at the drink in disgust.)
Mousse: [Really got to get Ukyo to get some sake around here.
This soda tastes like sewer water.]
(Mousse puts the bottle down on the table then puts the picture back
in his shirt. He pulls out a picture of Ranma-kun and scowls at it.)
Mousse: [What do women see in you anyway?]
(Mousse looks across to wall where a dart board is hanging. He
pulls out a dagger, throws the picture into the air then throws the
dagger at it, pinning the picture to the board.)
Mousse: [I work my whole life to get her and you stole her from
me.]
(Bang! A dagger sticks into the picture, directly between the eyes.)
Mousse: [I'd love to do that for real.] *sigh*[Yeah, and Shampoo
would probably use the same dagger to tear my heart out.
{pause}Jerk couldn't even be satisfied with one woman. No, he
had to toy with others too. Akane, Kodachi, well she's crazy,
who'd want her anyway. Even Ukyo.]
(Bang!)
Mousse: [What kind of a jerk makes a woman fall in love with him
then runs off?]
(Bang!)
Mousse: [I'd never do that, but what do I get?]
(Bang!)
Mousse: [Nothing! Can't even get Perfume to like me. {pause}At
least she doesn't love the guy. {pause}Where the hell is Ukyo?]
(Mousse looks back at the door then returns to looking at the picture
(now with a dagger in each eye, one in the throat and the original
one between the eyes). He grabs his drink, finishes it off then gets
up and heads into the back room. Just then Ukyo comes in looking
tired and ragged but otherwise fine. She looks across at the dart
board and raises an eyebrow. Mousse comes out from the back and
sees her.)
Mousse: Oh, you're back.
Ukyo: Yeah. {pause}A little diversion?
Mousse: Huh? {looks across at the dart board}Ah, sort of.
{pause}Where you been?
Ukyo: {as she walks to the dart board}Just sorting things out.
(Ukyo removes the daggers from the picture and then looks at it for a
moment.)
Ukyo: Hating him won't change anything.
Mousse: I know, but it gives me something to do with my time.
(Ukyo crumbles up the picture and throws it into a waste basket.)
Ukyo: Well, it's not worth driving yourself nuts over. Ranma,
Shampoo, they're both lost to us. You should find someone else to
give your affections to.
(Ukyo starts to go into the back.)
Mousse: Uh, Perfume is in your room.
Ukyo: What?!
Mousse: She was waiting for you to get back and fell asleep so I
put her in there for a while. I can go wake her if-
Ukyo: Nah, let her sleep. I got things to do anyway.
(Ukyo goes into the back. She takes a brief look into her room
where Perfume lays curled up on top of the covers.)
Perfume: {in her sleep}Ukyo...
(Perfume smiles then roles over. Ukyo shakes her head and shivers
in slight disgust then moves off to the kitchen.)
Ukyo: {to herself}Don't want to know. Don't want to know.
(After a moment she returns to the dining area carrying several
spatulas.)
Ukyo: The kid even dreams about me. She really needs a guy or
something.
(Mousse nods in agreement as Ukyo goes to the grill and places the
spatulas on it, handles over the edge.)
Mousse: What are you doing?
Ukyo: {as she turns on the grill}Trying something I should have
tried from the start.
(Mousse walks over to the grill and watches as Ukyo quickly grabs
a spatula, flips it in her hand then puts it back on the grill. She
repeats this another couple times then starts to do two in a row, then
three, four, five, six, and continues adding to the number of spatulas
until she is flipping almost twenty spatulas in less than a second.
She increases the speed of the flips, flipping each twice, then three
times, then four and so on until all that can be seen of her hands is a
blur.)
Mousse: How in the...
Ukyo: This is how I built up my speed when I was a kid. Haven't
bothered with it much lately so I never realized I could go so much
faster now if I just push myself.
Mousse: You won't even need the pill at this rate.
Ukyo: This is good for fast food but not good enough for my
masterpieces.
(Ukyo stops her motions to reveal the spatulas are now glowing red
hot. Ukyo smiles and her aura glows slightly as she shakes her fist.)
Ukyo: Another couple hours of this and I'll be able to grab a
mountain of chestnuts from a fire no problem. Now, about those
modifications you were talking about...
=================================================
=====
(Ukyo, armed and ready for heavy combat (her battle spatula across
her back and wearing a double bandoleer of spatulas, a belt with
nearly a solid band of spatulas, and a pair of gloves), walks up the
street to an open lot. Mousse walks beside her.)
Mousse: I don't like this, letting her choose the location was a bad
idea.
Ukyo: What does it matter? Here, my place, the Nekohanten, I'll
get that stupid amulet where ever the battle is. What is the
difference?
Mousse: I still don't like it.
(Ukyo and Mousse leap onto the fence and look on in surprise and
shock at the lot in front of them. Numerous fires and fields of hot
coals litter the lot leaving no ground uncovered. At the center of
this, Cologne balances confidently on her staff, an amulet around her
neck. Perfume sits nervously on the fence at the other end of the
lot.)
Mousse: What is this?!!
Cologne: You did not think I would stand ideally by and let Ms.
Kuonji take the amulet did you?
Ukyo: I thought you Amazons had some honor?
Cologne: We do. Did I ever say the location would be a balanced
fighting ground?
Mousse: This is unfair as hell and you know it.
Cologne: All is fair in love and war.
Mousse: {angrily}Why you-
Ukyo: Mousse, drop it.
(Mousse reluctantly relaxes slightly and sits down on the wall.)
Ukyo: Okay ghoul, tricks or no tricks I'm getting that amulet. You
better live up to the deal.
Cologne: If I lose the amulet, the pill will be yours. If you lose,
you
agree to marry Perfume.
Ukyo: Right. Let's get this over with.
(Ukyo readies her battle spatula and leaps into the air at Cologne.
Ukyo strikes down but Cologne dodges. Ukyo then embeds her
spatula in the hot coals below and balances on it. Cologne calmly
taps the spatula, throwing Ukyo off balance. Ukyo in turn spins
around the spatula, holding it with her hands and kicking out at
Cologne. Cologne ducks under the kick but Ukyo then pulls her
spatula from the coals, flies through the air a few feet, then embeds
it in another field of coals and balances.)
Cologne: Give up now, you can't keep this up forever.
Ukyo: Don't need to.
(Ukyo pushes off and lands on the fence. She jumps in the air and
dives down on Cologne. Ukyo switches her grip of the spatula to
her legs then prepares to strike with her hands.)
Ukyo: Kachu Tenshin Amaguriken!!
(A blur of fists from Ukyo meets an equally fast blur of fists from
Cologne. Ukyo embeds her spatula in the coals and the two continue
there exchange.)
Cologne: Impressive, you learned one of the Amazons' greatest
techniques. You will truly make a wonderful addition to the village.
(Ukyo stops the exchange and flips back to the fence with her
spatula.)
Ukyo: Shut up!
Cologne: You didn't actually think you could make it through my
defenses did you. I am a master of that technique.
Ukyo: Yeah, well I got a couple of modifications to show you.
(In a flash of motion Ukyo throws her entire arsenal of throwing
spatulas at Cologne in less than a second. Cologne dodges into the
air and blocks with her staff deflecting all the incoming projectiles.
Ukyo jumps to meet her opponent in mid air and the two exchange
another blur of attacks this time staff against spatula. The two
crossover and land, Ukyo on the fence and Cologne in the field of
hot coals.)
Cologne: If that's the best you have Ms. Kuonji this battle is all but
over.
Ukyo: I haven't lost yet.
(Ukyo leaps into the air and dives down on Cologne. Cologne spins
her staff and lowers it, still spinning, into the coals sending a hail
off hot rocks at Ukyo. This time Ukyo desperately blocks the
incoming projectiles and just barely manages to embed her spatula
in the ground and balance before landing.)
Cologne: The trouble with you is that you don't know when you're
beat.
Ukyo: The trouble with you is that you are overconfident.
(Ukyo pulls off her gloves to reveal her hands to be wrapped in
slightly damp cloth.)
Ukyo: Try this. Kachu Tenshin Amaguriken revised, Okonomiyaki
Art of the Flaming Fist!!
(Ukyo again attacks with a blur of punches which is met by a blur of
punches from Cologne.)
Cologne: Revised?! This is no different than before.
Ukyo: Wait for it.
(Suddenly little puffs of smoke start to explode in front of Cologne,
then small flashes of light and finally small fireballs. Cologne is
startled then forced to withdraw when her robe catches on fire.
Ukyo lets off a triumphant yell as she holds up the amulet. Mousse
shakes his arm in victory as Perfume jumps for joy but is so
overwhelmed she nearly falls off the fence but manages to recover.
Cologne calmly pats out the fire on her person.)
Cologne: Most impressive. Some sort of flammable liquid in the
cloth I would guess.
Ukyo: Just a little cooking alcohol. Quite effective I think. Now,
where's the pill.
Cologne: In the amulet, where else.
Ukyo: WHAT?!
(Ukyo opens up the amulet and finds a small pill inside.)
Cologne: The best place to hide something is in plain view, do you
not agree? Enjoy your victory young lady for I am not through with
you yet.
(Cologne hops off as Ukyo gives her an angry look.)
=================================================
=====
Ukyo: {overjoyed}Wooohooo!! Yes!!
(Ukyo tosses a half dozen okonomiyaki in the air which land on the
plates in front of Mousse, Perfume, Ranma-kun, Shampoo, Akane
and Ryoga.)
Ranma: {slightly amused}You seem happy Ukyo.
Ukyo: {overjoyed}Happy?! Happy?! I'm ecstatic!! I feel like
celebrating! You guys want to go out.
Akane, Ranma, Ryoga, Shampoo: Sure.
Perfume: {excited}Ukyo is going to take me on date?
Ukyo: It's not a date, we're just going out, it's not a date, okay?!
Perfume: {moderately disappointed}Okay.
(Ukyo and the others start to get up to leave, taking their
okonomiyaki with them. Mousse gets up to follow but stops at the
door and pulls out the picture of Shampoo and looks at it.)
Ukyo: Mousse, you coming or what?
Mousse: Ah, yeah, be right with you.
(Mousse takes one last look at the picture and drops it into the waste
basket and rushes out.)
Mousse (from outside): Ukyo, wait up!
%End part 1