It occured to me that I never announced the winners of the 1996 Anime
Bulwer/Lytton contest, taking place in May 1996.

So, the joint winners are (one is a lemon parody, so WARNING!)

(Actually, they're all lemon parodies...):


Matthew Trotter, for

          Ranma 1/2: Battle Against Boredom

   Things seemed pretty quiet in Nerima now that Ranma and Akane were 
married, and Mousse and Shampoo, and Ryouga and Akari, and Ukyou and 
Kontasu, and Dr. Tofu and Kasumi, and Nabiki and Kuno, and Mikado and 
Kodachi, and Azusa and Barney, and Tsubasa and Allegra, and Happosai and 
Cologne.  There was only one thing left to do...HAVE SEX!


And Harvey Torrance Griffin, for

	Once Mackie regained conciousness, he took in his situation with
something remotely resembling mortal dread.  He was buck naked and
securely gagged; his wrists were bound to a chain suspended from the
ceiling, and his feet were shackled to D-rings bolted to the floor about a
meter apart.  Then someone ripped off his blindfold and he blanched as he
saw as he looked around:  Linna clad only in a garter belt, stockings,
heels, and a cutting edge No-Hands camcorder; Nene wearing a translucent
T-shirt too short to cover her shaved crotch and casually examining a huge
bullwhip; Priss eyeing his ass with an evil grin on her face as she oiled
up the foot-long strap-on dildo adorning her otherwise nude body, and his
sister (in nothing save her transparent teddy) looking at him
emotionlessly as she smacked the riding crop against her palm. 
	"We warned you about those cameras, Mackie." Sylia said calmly.



There's also a runner up award, going this year to Kent Magami, for

   A-ko allowed her head to fall into hands as frustrated tears poured 
from her eyes.  In the background, screaming could be heard as people 
ran from the horror in their midst.  Things had gotten very bad around 
Graviton City, ever since C-ko learned about sex...



Congrats to the winners, and apologies for the delay.

Now:  it's time for the 1997 contest.  The object is to create the worst
opening for an anime fanfic in the entire world.  Just an utterly evil
opening.

Rules:

1) Make up your own work, do *not* nominate fanfics already written by
   others.  This isn't vicious, it's fun!

2) It can be more than one paragraph, although it shouldn't.  But do
   keep it short.

3) Ideally, it should be bad/funny.  The winners up there are excellent
   examples.


The contest runs till April 30th, and I'm the judge.  Hah!

Entries should be posted to fanfic@fanfic.com, and I will save them from
there.  I'm not gonna post a big compilation, so if you want your entry to
be seen, post it to the list.

Have fun!  Oh, I think Matt and Kent are off the list now, but Harvey can
make a speech if he wants... :-)

--Sean Gaffney
--Judge, Jury, and Executioner