[Ranma] "No Need for Ranma!" (3/?)
By Henry J. Cobb
$Id: no_need_for_ranma3.txt,v 1.10 1997/04/06 20:03:24 hcobb Exp $

The Ranma 1/2 characters and situations are the creation of Rumiko
Takahashi.  No infringement of her copyrights is intended.

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So Far:

Five year old Ran-chan jumped from the cart to go back for Utchan.

Ukyou pledged to take Ranma's place, after he was lost at the age of
ten, in a training incident involving a cat.

Ukyou now 16, is a boy (thanks to the Nanniichuan), masquerades as
Ranma, and Nabiki has chosen him to be her fiancee. (With Nodoka's firm
backing).  Genma and Soun prefer Akane, but Nabiki stated that Tatewaki
is already Akane's suitor.

Now, under threat of Kuno, Akane has agreed to play "Ranma's" fiancee.

Ukyou uses the "Anything goes" style and looks just like her old
cross-dressing self.  (Except that he's got the Chinese outfits, instead
of the okonomiyaki chef's clothes.)  Even to the point of using a
ponytail rather than a pigtail. (Apparently he hasn't tasted the
Dragon's whisker.)  However Ukyou's cursed form has naturally black
hair, so he's stopped dyeing it black.

The story is told from Ukyou's point of view and Genma is the only other
member of the current cast that even knows that the curses exist.

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Early Wednesday morning, I was woken by a hand at my shoulder.

It was Akane, in her gi.  "Ranma, let's spar.  It sounds more fun than
jogging."

"Sure, give me a few minutes to get ready."

As I faced her in the Dojo, I thought how odd it was that I found Akane,
with her long bangs and obvious feminity, to be cute and desirable.  It
must be a side effect of my curse.  Next time I'm myself again, back in
my old gender, in the bath say, I'll try thinking about her again and
see if I still feel the same way.

We bowed towards each other.

"Any time you're ready."  I told her.

"Hiyaa!" Akane stabbed her fist forwards in savage blow.

I grabbed the offered limb and flipped her over onto her back.

"Ouch!  Why did you do that for?"

"Don't strike in anger.  It's a violation of the art.  Didn't your
father teach you this?"

"If I can't hit people when I'm angry, when should I hit them?"

"When it's the right thing to do.  What is the problem?"

"I've never fought with my sisters, not like this.  And it seems to be
all your fault."

"What have I done?  Can you imagine Nabiki truly happy as a Dojo
Master's wife?"

"No, I can't picture that."

"She'd be much more at home clawing her way up the corporate ladder.
She's just trying to get Kuno's seed money, through you, rather than
putting up with him herself.  Nabiki's the one out of line here."

"I guess so."

"So, don't let her do this to you!  You got to get in there and fight
her for me.  Act the part, play the role, or start calling yourself Mrs
Kuno."

"I guess I have no choice."

At Breakfast, Nabiki tried an appeal to authority.  "Daddy!  Akane's got
every boy at school wild about her and now she's stealing Ranma away.
I'm going to die an old maid.  It just isn't fair."

"Well, Akane?"

"At first, I wasn't sure father",  Akane grabbed at my upper arm with
both hands, "But now, I know that Ranma's the boy for me."

"No, I'm the one Ranma cares about, right?"  Nabiki leaned on my other
shoulder.

I felt uncomfortable.  Oh Ranma, the things I must do for you.  Your
honor requires that the school be carried on by the best pairing.  You
will be remembered as a great man.  I will carry this burden.  I just
wish that I wasn't finding the attentions of the two girls so appealing.

"Ranma?"

"Yes, sir?"

"Well Ranma, what is your opinion of this?"

"I don't know.  Both girls have their merits.  I simply don't enough
about them to make the best choice."

"Oh Ranma."  Nabiki fluttered her eyelashes at me.  "You're just saying
that to make me jealous.  And it's working."

Kasumi just sat there.  I wondered where she got her calm.

On the way to school, I jumped up onto the fence and ran, to clear my
head.

"Ranma!"

"Wait up!"

The girls kept pace with me, but Nabiki was the more winded of the two,
when we arrived at the gate.  I jumped down and they came to stand on
either side of me.

"Saotome, you foul sorcerer!"  Tatewaki stood with his bokutou.  "I will
free these girls from your spell!"

"You want them both?"

"That is not the point.  Your foul magics have enslaved them both and I
must take all measures to free them."

"Yes Kuno-chan, free Akane!"

"No, I'm the one who really loves Ranma."

"See the effect you have had on them?  Die!"

He charged forwards.  I leapt up, kicked his blade to one side then took
him down with the other foot to his cheek, completed the halfspin and
landed past his prone form.

"Let's get inside you two.  It looks like it's going to rain."

"That was wonderful, Ranma darling."

"How did you do that?"

"All of his focus was on the blade.  When it was forced out of the way
he struggled to bring it back into play, right into my kick."

Early Thursday morning, I spoke to Akane in the Dojo.  "Mid-air attack
is a speciality of the Saotome school.  If you want to learn it, you'll
first need to learn how to fall down."

"Why do I need to learn how to fall down?"

"Because, if you don't do it well, you can get hurt.  You need the
assurance that you can recover from any mishap before you can launch the
flying attack with confidence."

"OK, how do we start?"

"Stand on the mat and fall over backwards."

"That sounds simple."

"The essentials are always the most important part."

Half an hour later, she had made definite progress, when Nodoka came to
the door of the Dojo.

"Auntie Nodoka!"

"Mother, this is a pleasant surprise.  I thought you weren't coming over
until this weekend."

"Son, we must talk."

"Sure, our practice session is over anyway.  See you at breakfast
Akane."

"Sure thing dear."  Akane kissed me on the cheek then left.

I was surprised for a moment, then remembered that she needed to put on
the act around others.

"What's this all about, Ranma?"

"Akane says she's in love with me."

"And what do you think about it?"

"I don't know what to think.  I don't know enough about the girls to
pick the right one."

"My son, you are such an idiot.  Nabiki is the right choice for you."

"How can I come out and tell Akane that she's mistaken?"

"Waiting and letting her dangle like this is going to make it easier on
her?"

"Please, give me a while to work it out."

"As you will.  Just remember your honour."

At breakfast, Akane and Nabiki sat on either side of me, Nodoka sat with
Genma then Soun and Kasumi.

"Akane, could you return this book to Dr Tofu for me after school?"
Kasumi held a book to her sister.

"Sorry Kasumi, I can't do it today", Looking up, Akane saw that I had
noticed her blush, "I mean, I have baseball after class today."

"Oh, that's alright Akane.  I can do it myself."

"Ranma and I can escort you", Nodoka said, "just as soon as he returns
from school.  Unless you've got something else planned Ranma?"

"Uh, no mom, I'm free."

When I came back after class, Nodoka was sitting with Kasumi.  Kasumi
had the book and a covered plate in front of her and seemed to be
nervous.

"There you are son.  Let's get going, they're waiting for us."

"Hi Pop, Mr Tendo."  Neither looked up from their Shogi game.

Kasumi seemed to be under a heavy burden as we walked the few blocks to
Doc Tofu's.

"So, Mother, how are things for you now?"  A man in a gi with glasses
and a ponytail was talking to a short elderly woman as we entered the
doctor's office.

He turned to us and his glasses fogged over. "Kasumi--"

"Ranma, this is my good friend Mrs Ono and her son Tofu.  And this is my
son Ranma Saotome."

Kasumi walked up the doctor.  "Thanks for letting me borrow your book.
And I don't know if this is a fitting gift in return, but."  She
presented the plate to him.

Dr Tofu took the napkin off the plate and wrapped it around his face. "A
mask?  It's fitting quite well thanks."

"No silly, this."  She offered the plate again.  The way she smiled at
him, I could sympathise with his glasses fogging over.

"Very crunchy."

"That's the plate."  She took the plate back, placed it on the counter
and handed him one of the cookies.

"I understand that my son likes you, Kasumi, a lot."  Mrs Ono
interjected.

"Oh, but I have a previous engagement."

Dr Tofu choked on the cookie.

"A previous engagement?"  Mrs Ono, Nodoka and I asked in unison.

The door opened behind us.

"Yes, to Ranma here."  Kasumi grabbed my hand.

"But my son is engaged to Nabiki."

"Or to Akane."  I offered.

"Yes, but should they prove unsuitable, the duty and the honour will be
mine.  While this is unsettled I'm afraid I can't take on any other
engagements.  We must keep our promises, no matter what."  Kasumi looked
past my shoulder and froze.

I turned around and saw Akane at the door with a boy from our class.
Hiroshi, I think.  He had a bandage on his cheek.

I heard choking noises from behind me and saw Dr Tofu on the floor,
turning blue in the face.

"Oh my, is Dr Tofu alright?"

I hemlicked him.  "Are you OK?"

"I'm... I'm fine"  Dr Tofu's glasses were no longer fogged over, but the
look in his eyes made me wish that they had been.

Kasumi made a point of holding onto my hand every step back to the Tendo
residence.

Friday morning, Akane came to the Dojo.  "I'm sorry Ranma, but I can't
go on."

"But you're improving so much in your training."

"It's not that.  It's Kasumi.  I can't compete with her.  She's done so
much and asked for so little.  If she really wants you, I can't stand in
her way."

"No, she's in love with Dr Tofu.  You can see it in her eyes."

"What?"

"She's just keeping those two old ladies from pushing her into it before
she's ready."

"Oh."

At breakfast, Kasumi and Akane sat next to me.

"What's the matter Nabiki?"  Soun asked.

"As the eldest, Kasumi deserves the first choice.  It is her right to
claim Ranma."

"You may be able to give up Ranma", Akane leaned against me, "but I
can't."

"You're a very good cook Kasumi."

I felt Akane stiffen next to me.

"Why, thank you Ranma dear."

Nabiki left early for school then Kasumi handed Akane and me our
lunches.

"Now, don't look at any other girls at school today Ranma."

"I wouldn't worry about that Kasumi.  I've already got enough troubles
in that area already."

Akane and I had just gotten out of school when somebody shouted,
"Ranma!"

"What?"  I looked in that direction.

There was a boy in rough clothing with a bandana around his head running
towards us.  "Ranma!"  He shouted again.

"Oh, no!"  Not him, not now.  The spirits must really have it in for me.

"Ranma!"  Ryouga grabbed me and spun us around.  "I'm so happy to find
you again!"  His wide smile revealed fangs.

"Ryouga, it's good to see you too", I regained my footing.  "This is my
old school pal Ryouga Hibiki, and this is Akane Tendo."

"Pleased to meet you Ryouga.  I'm Ranma's fiancee."

"Fiancee?"  Shock shifted to outrage as Ryouga stared at Akane, his
pupils closing to slits,  "You pervert!  Don't you know that Ranma's
really a gir---"

I clamped my hand over Ryouga's mouth, "Ryouga, shouldn't we talk about
this someplace private?"

Ryouga looked around at the other students,  "Sorry Ranma, I forgot."

	Henry J. Cobb	hcobb@slip.net          http://www.io.com/~hcobb