At 19:10 4/4/97, Redneck Gaijin wrote:
I went and deleted the first part of this fic as soon as I saw the 'warning
Kun-chan don't read this' bit. In general, I *DESPISE* Ranma fanfics.
Not an auspicious start! ^_^
I promptly forgot the title of the first half and dug into the second half
today. After the first ten or so pages, even though I knew where you were
going, I couldn't stop reading. The text held my attention and captivated
me, something which is not easy to do when I hate the subject matter.
Excellent job.
(!) Thanks! Zen thinks...
However, I still don't much like the idea of this, because despite your
Author's Notes, I am still left with the notion that the text, from Akane's
first hearing about Ranma's 'free lessons', is done with the singlular
purpose of getting Akane to kill Ranma.
No, not quite. Though Zen *soes* think that it is a logical and plausible
scenario, given Akane's demonstrated temperament.
And quite frankly, I do not believe that:
(1) Nodoka would EVER give up her katana.
The Katana is the symbol of the Saotome line. She sees Ranma/Akane as the
continuation of that line. The blade and the family are one. Zen contends
that she *would* give it to Akane.
(2) Akane gets more powerful through anger.
Not more powerful. Less disciplined - less likely to know when she's gone
too far. Though, really, the manga shows that when she's angry she kicks
Ranma's butt on a regular basis. If she's NOT angry (which is disturbingly
rare) she does NOT.
(3) Akane ever gets as mad as you have her. (This is a major point, you
drill it into the reader's head that Akane's anger has been getting steadily
worse. This seems to me to be rationalization in order to have her, at the
end of the fic, ready to kill Ranma and Ukyou.)
Well, perhaps. Rage disorders are real enough, and Akane *does* fit the
patterns for them. But Akane is basically an angry person. She was angry
with Ranma before she ever met him. And she is almost *always* angry with
him in the manga. The triggers for this anger do not change over the
course of the manga, and time and time again, it is made clear that the
incidents which precipitate that anger are NOT Ranma's fault - yet the next
story, she does it AGAIN. Zen has come to think of her as brain damaged on
that basis.
(4) Akane can so utterly fail to listen. Akane at least -tries- sometimes to
make her relationship with Ranma work... but in this story, she does
absolutely nothing but be a hair-trigger emotional psychopath. In fact, now
that I think of it, she is very OOC by the end of the 'fic, but she has to
be so she can kill Ranma.
Sorry. Zen has to disagree in toto here. Akane makes peace overtures from
time to time, yes. So does Ranma. But the manga is clear. Akane *almost
never* listens to him before she hits him. It just doesn't happen. By the
end of this fic she is, granted, not the same Akane, but Zen maintains that
the seeds for this psychopath ARE in the manga Akane, and well sprouted
too. Akane not only utterly fails to listen, but she *repeatedly* utterly
fails to listen.
(5) Ranma wouldn't avoid or defend himself from Akane. Ranma's emotional
calm in this fic seems a bit much, but more importantly although he might
not attack Akane, if she attacked him with a potentially lethal force he
would NOT let it hit him.
If the only way to stop her was to hit her, then he would not do it. Not
as long as he is himself, and not under the control of some mind altering
substance/device/artifact/etc. Ranma's emotional calm in this fic is more
or less the calm of resignation. By that point, either he'll be able to
get help and they can be happy together, or he won't care what happens to
him.
As a story in general, this is very good.
Thanks.
As a story about Ranma and Akane, it doesn't wash. Not for me.
Zen understands. Different interpretations of the characters. Zen tried
to detail his reasoning above, but those are, after all, Zen's views of the
characters, and Zen makes no claims that they are absolute! Zen
appreciates the time you took to read, and comment.
Try again for a 'Ranma gets Akane' fic, but this time instead of assuming
that it will be a disaster, assume that BOTH of them will work to keep it
going, bad good or indifferent.
Well, Zen has a few things on the agneda first.... For one thing, he's
gotta kill Nabiki. ^_^
As for this story, run an edit and send it, it's good. Wrong, but good.
Thanks. ^_^
Redneck (another 'Nodoka finds out' fic? NOOOOOO!!! FOR THE LOVE OF WASHUU,
NO MORE!!!) }:-{D
But they're so much *fun* ^_^
Kris Overstreet, will write for food...
Zen no Itan-sha