Part 1/4
Altered Destinies: Most Unlikely of Friends OVA 1
Troubles a' brewing
http://www.mala.bc.ca/~tritscwa
Please direct C&C directly to me.
Felix_Tritschler@bc.sympatico.ca
tritscwa@mala.bc.ca
tritschl@malun1.mala.bc.ca
tritscwa@malun1.mala.bc.ca
Pre-reading notes: Okay, if you haven't read "Most Unlikely of
Friends" do so because you won't really get what's going on if you
don't.
If you have but it's vague in your memory let me refresh you as to what
has
happened. Shampoo and Akane were given a pair of strange magical
bracelets that apparently caused them to either dream about or
temporarily
enter another dimension where they were friends since the age of 7.
Here
Soun is married to an odd Amazon named Soon Li, Shampoo is disowned
from her Amazon family but has been adopted by Soun and lives with the
Tendos, Shampoo and Akane have been trained by Soon Li and are now
adept in two odd styles (Lightning and Wind respectively), Ranma is now
engaged solely to Shampoo (although he was originally given the choice
between her or Akane), *breath*Akane and Shampoo share the cat curse,
Mousse is uncursed and has perfect vision, Shampoo has short hair, Ryoga
and Akane are dating, let's see, hmmm, Ukyo is presently having love
troubles with Perfume (she's the Amazon that basically replaced Shampoo
back at the village but she's definitely no Shampoo-clone), Mousse is
working at Ucchan's, what else, oh yeah, and Ranma and Ryoga are being
trained by their respective love interests in their respective styles.
phew.
Lost yet? Yes, read the original story. No, okay then let's continue.
I've
been working on this one for a while, not nearly as long as the first
however. The focus has been switched from Akane and Shampoo to Ukyo,
Mousse, Perfume and Kodachi (yes Kodachi, I've decided to do some
experimental writing with her before I start another project). I've had
some
more pre-release input on this one so hopefully it will be good. I
desire to
hear any commentary from you so E-mail me, please! Burn me, praise me,
or anything in between.
This sucker is still in quasi-script style as follows:
%Chapter info
(actions)
Character speaking: {tone, actions while speaking}<Chinese speech>
Japanese speech. *sounds* [thoughts].
Double line breaks are for radical scene changes and single line breaks
are
for dreams, flashbacks, fantasies, etc.
Well, that's about it so prepare yourself for the pages, and pages, and
pages
ahead.
%Prologue
(The Japanese teenager by the name of Ukyo Kuonji walks down a market
street on her way home from school. Her usual assortment of small
throwing spatulas and the larger battle spatula are strapped over her
school
uniform. She pleasantly waves to a street side merchant as she comes to
the
entrance to Ucchan's and start to unlock the door. A man walks up
beside
her as she finally opens the door (not the same man from the jewelry
store).)
Man: Hello miss.
Ukyo: Uh, hi. Here for dinner?
Man: No. Actually, I saw a number of hoodlums up the street and
thought it
best to warn everyone.
Ukyo: Not that bunch again. Where exactly?
(The man points up the street.)
Man: About two blocks up.
(Ukyo closes and locks the door to Ucchan's then readies her battle
spatula.)
Ukyo: Thanks. I'll just go have a friendly little chat with them.
(Ukyo starts up the street as the man watches. He nods solemnly then
turns
and fades from existence. Ukyo continues walking until she hears a
number
of male voices over a wall.)
Male voice 1: Come on, hand over all your precious metals.
Male voice 2: Yeah, you don't want us to get mad.
Ukyo: {to herself}Jerks.
(Ukyo leaps up onto the wall and looks into an open lot to see four
presumably teenaged boys in stupid masks surrounding another figure.
The
figure has extremely short brown hair and is wearing a dirty red and
black
Chinese outfit. Ukyo looks closer and discovers the figure is a teenage
Chinese girl who is cowering against the wall. The boys close in
slightly
and the girl says something fearfully in Chinese then attempts to
backup.
When she presses against the wall she looks about frantically then falls
to
her knees, covers her face, and starts to cry.)
Boy 3: Hey man, you made her cry.
Boy 4: {sarcastically}Yeah, way to go!
Ukyo: You fellas are going to be the ones crying in a minute.
(The four boys spin around to see Ukyo. The girl looks up cautiously
and
teary eyed as well.)
Boy 2: {fearfully}Oh shit! Not her again!
Boy 3: {fearfully}Ahh, we didn't do nothing!
(Ukyo jumps down to be in front of them.)
Ukyo: Oh, so you did do something.
(The boys scream out in fear and scatter. Ukyo swings around her battle
spatula and swats one of the retreating boys in the rear before he
escapes.
Ukyo watches with a smile as the boys leave her view then starts to turn
to
the girl but finds the girl wrapped around her waist babbling
frantically in
Chinese and crying.)
Ukyo: Hey, I'm not going to hurt you.
(The girl stops babbling and looks at Ukyo in fear. Ukyo drops her
battle
spatula to the ground and holds up her hands passively.)
Ukyo: See, I'm here to help.
(The girl looks confused for a second, sniffles then releases Ukyo and
slowly get to her feet. Ukyo gives the girl a pleasant smile and the
girl
returns a nervous one.)
Ukyo: Do you speak any Japanese?
(The girl looks blankly at Ukyo.)
Ukyo: Guess not.
(Ukyo reaches out and takes the girl's hand. The girl is startled for
just a
second but then relaxes.)
Ukyo: Come on.
(Ukyo leads the girl out of the lot, picking up and storing her battle
spatula
on the way. The girl lets Ukyo lead her back to Ucchan's where she
waits
patiently as Ukyo opens the door and then follows Ukyo inside. Ukyo
directs the girl to a chair by the grill then moves behind said grill
and starts
it up. The girl watches Ukyo intently as Ukyo starts cooking up an
okonomiyaki.)
Ukyo: You've had a rough day.
(Ukyo pulls out a plate, flips the finished okonomiyaki onto it and
places it
before the girl.)
Ukyo: Here, on the house.
(The girl looks at the food questioningly, back up a Ukyo who gives her
a
friendly smile, then cautiously takes the okonomiyaki in her hands. She
gives Ukyo another look then slowly takes a bite. Ukyo smiles and the
girl
smiles back, less nervous this time, and continues eating.)
======================================================
(Ranma-kun comes up to the entrance of Ucchan's and enters. Inside Ukyo
is serving a large crowd as the girl watches her dreamily from a table
in the
corner.)
Ukyo: Ranchan! Come on in!
(Ranma-kun nods then sits down at the grill. In mere seconds Ukyo
places a
plate of okonomiyaki in front of him then returns to her other
customers.)
Ranma: Thanks Ucchan.
(As Ranma-kun eats his meal he continually looks over at the girl,
getting
more confused by the second. Once finished he turns his attention to
Ukyo.)
Ranma: Hey Ucchan, who's the girl?
Ukyo: Actually, I haven't a clue. She was being bullied a little
earlier so I
gave her a free okonomiyaki to cheer her up. Now she won't leave.
Ranma: Ahh, did you notice the way she's looking at you?
(Ukyo takes a look at the girl who shyly smiles and waves. Ukyo starts
looking worried.)
Ukyo: No, couldn't be. Ahhh, I don't need this.
Ranma: Haven't you talked to her?
Ukyo: No, she doesn't speak Japanese, just Chinese I think.
Ranma: Get Mousse over here then.
Ukyo: Guess I better.
======================================================
(A short time later Akane is walking up the street by Ucchan's when she
hears a bike bell and turns to see Shampoo, on her bike, coming to a
stop
just behind her.)
Akane: What you doing Shampoo?
Shampoo: Ukyo call. Say need someone speak Chinese. Shampoo only
one available.
Akane: What's she need some who speaks Chinese for?
(Shampoo shrugs then rides the remaining distance to Ucchan's. Akane
walks up beside her and the two enter. Inside, the crowd has thinned
slightly but Ranma-kun and the girl are still present. Both Akane and
Shampoo look at the girl for a long moment then at each other.)
Akane: Is that-
Shampoo: Perfume, yes!
Ukyo: {slightly annoyed}Shampoo?! Why couldn't Mousse come?
Shampoo: He busy getting stitches from fight with Ranma.
Ranma: Still recovering is he.
(Shampoo notices Ranma-kun and looks overjoyed.)
Shampoo: {joyfully}Ranma, you is here too!
(Ranma-kun puts his arms up to fend of Shampoo impending hug. Ukyo
looks at this with annoyance while Akane frowns but then turns away.)
Ranma: Shampoo, please, the girl.
Shampoo: Oh, ah, yes.
(Shampoo turns and walks over to talk with Perfume. Perfume notices
Shampoo and fearfully backs away. Shampoo says something to Perfume in
Chinese. Perfume seems suspicious and responds. The two start
talking.
Meanwhile, Akane moves over to the grill and sits down next to Ranma-
kun.)
Akane: So, where'd you find her?
Ukyo: That stupid bunch of school punks were harassing her.
Akane: You didn't get into a fight with her did you?
Ukyo: No, of course not, why?
Akane: She's an Amazon.
Ukyo: You're kidding. That girl is an Amazon. She was in tears at
just the
prospect of being hurt!
Akane: From what Shampoo has told me she's got a thing against pain.
Her
name is Perfume.
Ranma: Perfume huh. Must be rough being from a village of warrior
women and you're super sensitive to pain.
Akane: I would suspect so.
(Akane turns to watch the two Chinese girls talking then she gets up,
walks
over and joins into the discussion.)
Ukyo: Hmh. {pause}Akane and Shampoo are getting along rather well
lately. So, what's going on Ranchan?
Ranma: Hey, you know about as much as I do. Ever since last week when
I
saw them at that restaurant together they've been acting... nice to each
other,
or at least trying.
Ukyo: Hmm.
Ranma: Creepy huh?
(Ukyo nods in agreement then returns to her work. After a moment
Shampoo and Akane suddenly start giggling and come up to the grill
together.)
Ukyo: What's so funny?
Shampoo: {through giggles}Oh it... it... *laughter*
(Ranma and Ukyo look over at Perfume who just smiles and waves again.
They look back at Shampoo and Akane who finally start to calm.)
Ukyo: All right, spill it!
Shampoo: {amused}You is so lucky Ukyo, you have new girlfriend.
Ukyo and Ranma: WHAT?!!!
(Everyone, looks at Ukyo briefly then returns to what they were doing.)
Ukyo: What do you mean girlfriend?!
Shampoo: {amused}Perfume say she like you VERY much for help before.
She think you like her too.
Ukyo: WHAT?! But I... All I did was be nice to her. I'm not that type
of
girl. You got to explain that to her.
Shampoo: Shampoo already try. She no listen, or maybe no understand.
Can no be sure.
(Ukyo rubs her eyes in frustration.)
Ukyo: I don't need this, Tsubasa is enough trouble! What's she doing
here
anyway?
Shampoo: She say she run away from village. Take first boat find and
end
up here. Very lucky.
Ukyo: For you maybe.
Ranma: Why would she run away?
Shampoo: What think? She big joke in village. Imagine, woman who cry
at slightest hit, very disgraceful.
(Ukyo suddenly stops rubbing her eyes and looks at Shampoo with a bit of
anger.)
Ukyo: {slightly angry}Hey, not everyone is cut out to be a martial
artist you
know!
(Shampoo is startled by Ukyo for a second but then recovers and after a
moment reluctantly nods.)
Shampoo: Yes, Ukyo is right. Not all woman make good fighter.
(Ukyo seems surprised by Shampoo's response for a second then shakes her
head and looks at Perfume.)
Ukyo: Well, what in the world am I supposed to do about her?
Shampoo: Shampoo no know. Shampoo offer for her stay at Nekohanten
but she say no. Maybe she stay here?
(Ukyo considers for minute.)
Ukyo: *sigh*I guess so, but only for a while. I don't need some weird
girl
chasing after me. I want you to make it perfectly clear to her that I'm
not
interested. {pause}And if any of you breath a word of this-
Akane: Not a word.
Ranma: Wouldn't think of it.
(Shampoo considers.)
Ukyo: Shampoo!
(Shampoo continues to consider then finally shrugs and nods.)
Customer: Ah, miss?
Ukyo: Be right there.
(Ukyo moves off to serve the customer.)
Ranma: You did tell her that Ukyo is a girl?
Shampoo: Of course. Shampoo is equally surprised. Thought Perfume
like
men.
Akane: Guess she isn't too particular about gender. We were bound to
run
into one of them eventually around here.
Ranma: {as he gets up}As long as she isn't after me.
(Ranma-kun leaves. Shampoo walks over to talk to Perfume for a brief
moment. Perfume gradually seems more and more downhearted then finally
nods as Shampoo starts to leave. Akane follows after her.)
Akane: I wonder, maybe she knew in the other world too.
Shampoo: Maybe.
(Shampoo gets on her bike but Akane steps in the way.)
Akane: Shampoo, you still have the bracelet right?
(Shampoo nods.)
Akane: Look, there's alot of questions I have about those bracelets and
the
other world. {pause}Do you want to try using them again?
Shampoo: But magic is all gone.
Akane: Maybe, we don't know that for sure. {pause}I know you want to
go back there Shampoo and I can't blame you. Why don't we just try? It
won't hurt any.
(Shampoo considers briefly then nods.)
Shampoo: Okay, Shampoo wear bracelet tonight.
Akane: Great.
======================================================
(That night Akane is yawning as she sits down on her bed. P-chan sits
by
her pillow. Akane looks at the little pig then looks at the bracelet of
falcons
on her wrist.)
Akane: Hmh, maybe now I'll be able to find out why I got so mad at
Ryoga
last time.
(P-chan suddenly looks nervous causing Akane to turn her attention to
him.)
Akane: {concerned}What's wrong P-chan? Oh, you're worried about that
nasty old Ranma aren't you. Well, don't worry, if he tries anything...
(Akane pounds one of her fists into the palm of the other then smiles
and
pets the pig. It seems to calm slightly. Akane yawns again then goes
over
to the door and turns off the light.)
======================================================
(Slightly across town at the Nekohanten, Shampoo is hauling the
unconscious form of Mousse up the stairs without much regard for his
condition.)
Shampoo: [Stupid Mousse. Why you always bothering Shampoo? Can you
no get point?!]
(Shampoo opens up the door to a bedroom and enters. Inside the room a
old ragged mat lays in the corner along with several piles of all manor
of
weapons. Shampoo looks about the room briefly then drags Mousse over to
the mat and dumps him on it. She starts to leave then stops and looks
back
at him for a moment.)
Shampoo: [Can you no see we no meant to be Mousse? {pause}You be
better off with other girl.]
(Shampoo eyes briefly turn to the floor then she turns and walks out,
closing
the door. She walks down the hall and opens the door to another
bedroom.
She walks inside and heads over to the wall where a sword, inside it's
scabbard, is hanging on the wall. She pulls out two bondori and places
them underneath the sword in a case and heads over to the dresser. She
opens the drawer, takes out the bracelet of dragons and puts it on. She
looks at it then smiles.)
Shampoo: [Akane right. Shampoo wish could go back.] *sigh*[Almost
wish could stay forever.]
======================================================
(Late that night Akane (P-chan by her side) and Shampoo are fast
asleep.
The bracelets on each of their wrists begin to dimly glow.)
%End Prologue
======================================================
%Part 1
(Akane springs up to a sitting position in her bed then looks at her
wrist
with the bracelet. She looks to the side to see Shampoo (short haired)
doing likewise in her bed.)
Akane: Did you-
Shampoo: Have dream, yes. Very strange.
Akane: Tell me about it. I didn't really like that.
======================================================
(Later Shampoo is inside Ucchan's talking with Mousse who is examining a
scroll.)
Mousse: <Yeah, here it is. It says here the bracelets can cause the
wearers
to gain a friendship or value a present friendship more. This dream
about
that other world must be the bracelets' way of making you value your
friendship with Akane more. This is the first night you wore them
together,
isn't it?>
Shampoo: <Yes.>
Mousse: <Yeah, then that's it then.>
Shampoo: <Well, I didn't like it one bit. Will this always happen?>
Mousse: <Don't know. If you don't wear them at night it shouldn't.>
Shampoo: <Good. I'll tell Akane. {pause}It seemed so real.>
Mousse: <It was just a dream. Don't worry about it.>
Shampoo: <Maybe. {pause}Thanks Mousse.>
(Mousse nods as Shampoo turns and leaves. She looks up the road to see
Ukyo (dressed in a much more male fashion) walking down a crowded
market street towards the restaurant. Perfume (with much longer hair)
follows her very closely. Shampoo shakes her head then walks off.)
Perfume: But is law-
Ukyo: Perfume, I'm sorry, I'm just not ready for marriage right now.
Perfume: You no like me?
Ukyo: No, I... I do like you, it's just that I'm not planning on
getting married
any time soon. Why don't you find yourself some nice fellow from your
village, like maybe Mousse?
Perfume: Mousse?! I no like Mousse! He arrogant, annoying, chase
after
other woman and make fun of me.
Ukyo: That was a long time ago.
Perfume: Well, I no forgive him. Besides, I love you, not him.
Ukyo: *sigh*Perfume, trust me, we're just not right for each other.
Perfume: But-
Ukyo: No.
Perfume: *sigh*
(Ukyo turns and enters Ucchan's but Perfume stops outside the entrance,
bows her head sadly and returns the way she came. Inside the restaurant
Ukyo starts to ready the grill when Mousse (with no glasses) comes out
from the back.)
Mousse: No luck?
Ukyo: I don't think so. I wish she'd just give up.
Mousse: Not likely. Amazon woman are very persistent.
Ukyo: Hmm.
Mousse: I could go challenge her.
Ukyo: No. Ranma did that and she can only tolerate him. I think she
needs
to like you first. If only I wasn't so nice to her when we first met.
Mousse: Oh well.
======================================================
(Akane stands listening to Shampoo inside the Nekohanten. Soon Li is
cooking in the kitchen and Cologne sits waiting at a table.)
Akane: Hmm, so it was just the bracelets. I thought so.
Shampoo: But Akane, in other... the other world it was dream... a dream
too. How can we-
Akane: It was nothing but a dream Shampoo.
Shampoo: But...
(Akane seems momentarily indecisive but then looks determined.)
Akane: Let's not worry about it. It was just some stupid dream. As
far as
I'm concerned it did it's job. I like it the way it is more than ever.
Now
I'm just going to forget about it and you should too.
(Shampoo nods then starts to leave, exchanging a cold look with Cologne
on
the way. As she steps out of the door and Akane returns to serving
customers Perfume sadly enters.)
Cologne: Well child?
Perfume: He say no.
Cologne: Then I see no further point in talk. Action must be taken.
Akane: You know, maybe if you just gave it-
Cologne: This is none of your concern Akane Tendo so keep your opinions
to yourself.
Akane: {muttering}Well, excussse me.
Cologne: Come, take me to see this man.
======================================================
(A short time later, back at Ucchan's (which is empty except for Mousse
and Ukyo) Perfume enters, somewhat fearfully, followed by Cologne. Ukyo
looks up from her cleaning of the grill and Mousse tenses up. Cologne
examines Ukyo for a moment, causing the younger girl to self consciously
withdraw a few centimeters. Mousse slowly and cautiously starts to move
towards Ukyo. Cologne finally turns to Perfume and starts talking with
her
in Chinese. Mousse suddenly stops, looks startled and somewhat relaxes
as
Cologne turns back to Ukyo.)
Cologne: So, you are the... mate that Perfume has chosen.
Ukyo: Uh, look, like I told her, I'm not into a marriage at this time.
Cologne: You seem to think you have a choice in the matter.
Ukyo: Well, I think I do.
(Cologne smiles then hops up onto the grill and thrusts her staff into
Ukyo's
chest, forcing her to the wall.)
Cologne: Then you are gravely mistaken. It is Amazon tradition and law
that Perfume marry you. You will consent to this marriage one way or
another.
Ukyo: I'm not being forced into anything lady.
(Cologne pulls back her staff and hops back to the ground.)
Cologne: We shall see. Perfume, come.
(Cologne leaves. Perfume starts to follow then turns back to Ukyo with
a
nervous smile.)
Perfume: I very sorry about this.
(Perfume bows her head and sadly follows Cologne.)
Mousse: You're in big trouble.
Ukyo: Hmh?
Mousse: Well, ahem, ahh, it seems that the disguise isn't necessary
after
all.
Ukyo: {surprised}WHAT?!
Mousse: Perfume knows you're female.
Ukyo: But I thought-
Mousse: I did too. Let me go check on that for a sec.
(Mousse walks into the back while Ukyo rubs her eyes. A man comes in
and walks up to sit next to the grill. Ukyo gives him a courteous
smile.)
Ukyo: What can I get you sugar?
Man: Give me one of those deluxes.
Ukyo: Coming right up.
(Ukyo starts up the grill and pours the batter on. Mousse comes out of
the
back reading a book.)
Mousse: Oh brother.
Ukyo: What?
Mousse: Article 12, section 5, sub-paragraph 3, point 6 and I quote:
"if an
Amazon female is defeated by an outsider female, but that Amazon female
is
of different sexual preference, she may choose to kill the outsider or
to take
the outsider as her mate."
Ukyo: You're kidding?!!
(Mousse hands the book to Ukyo.)
Mousse: Read it yourself.
(Ukyo looks over the book then bows her head in despair.)
Ukyo: Why me?! What'd I ever do to deserve this?!
Mousse: Just lucky I guess.
(Ukyo scowls at Mousse then starts to take the cooking okonomiyaki from
the grill with a spatula but suddenly withdraws her hand with a yelp of
pain.)
Mousse: {concerned}What's wrong?
Ukyo: {while examining her hand which has a slight burn on it)I got
burnt.
How the heck did that happen?
(Mousse grabs a hold of the spatula (which is still on the grill) and
easily
picks it up.)
Mousse: It's a little warm but it couldn't have possibly burnt you.
(Ukyo tries to touch the spatula's handle but again withdraws her hand
with
a yelp.)
Ukyo: IT'S SEARING HOT! How can you hold that?!
Mousse: No it's not.
Man: Uh, could I get my food please.
Mousse: Oh, yeah, here.
(Mousse uses the spatula to flip the cooked okonomiyaki to the customer
then turns back to Ukyo.)
Mousse: See, it's barely even warm. I just don't... {pause}Wait a
second.
Oh no. Come on. We got to get you to Dr. Tofu right away.
Ukyo: Why?
Mousse: I think Cologne used a pressure point on you.
======================================================
(A short time later at Dr. Tofu's clinic, Dr. Tofu just finished
examining
Ukyo and is looking at an X-ray. Mousse stands behind Ukyo.)
Ukyo: Cat's tongue?!
Dr. Tofu: I'm afraid so. You're whole body is now super sensitive to
heat.
Even mild temperatures above normal room temperature will seem like
they're boiling to you. The burn is more psychosomatic than real damage
but that is nearly as bad.
Ukyo: How long does this last?
Dr. Tofu: It's permanent.
Ukyo: {extremely tense}No!! You have to be able to reverse this.
Dr. Tofu: I'm afraid not. This particular point is very hard to
correctly
manipulate and I'm afraid I'm just not qualified. I could give you a
one
time temporary fix but that's the best I can do.
Ukyo: {near breakdown}But... but... I can't cook like this! I can't
even get
near the grill! What am I going to do?
Dr. Tofu: The only thing I can advise is to see Cologne and ask her.
Ukyo: Right, the ghoul, yeah.
(Ukyo quickly gets up and starts to run out of the clinic. Mousse
quickly
chases after her.)
Mousse: Ukyo, wait!
Ukyo: What?
Mousse: She already told you what she wants, for you to consent to
marrying Perfume.
(Ukyo stops and turns to Mousse.)
Ukyo: But that's nuts! I can't marry a girl!
Mousse: Then what are you going to do?
Ukyo: I'll force her to fix this.
Mousse: Akane nearly died in a fight with Cologne and you expect to
beat
her? I don't think so.
(Ukyo turns and starts to run off.)
Ukyo: I don't care! It's all that I have left and I'm not going to let
the old
bat take it from me!
(Mousse shakes his head then resumes his pursuit of Ukyo.)
======================================================
(Moments later Ukyo rushes into the Nekohanten. Cologne waits calmly at
a table. Akane gives Ukyo a confused look.)
Akane: Ukyo? What are you doing here?
(Mousse comes in while Perfume comes out from the kitchen.)
Ukyo: Ask the ghoul!
Cologne: I see you discovered your little problem.
Ukyo: You better fix this right now or you're going to be in for a hell
of a
lot of trouble!
Cologne: Is that so? Well, if you can defeat me I'll gladly undo the
cat
tongue point.
Ukyo: Fine!
(Ukyo readies her giant spatula and rushes Cologne with a furious
charge.
Cologne hops to the side and taps Ukyo in the back as she passes sending
her into the floor. Ukyo struggles to push herself back up as Mousse
moves
over to be beside Perfume. Ukyo stands up then sends several spatulas
flying at Cologne. Cologne spins her staff and deflect the incoming
projectiles.)
Cologne: Is this the best you can do miss Kuonji? It's a miracle you
ever
defeated Perfume.
Ukyo: Shut up!
(Ukyo attempts another rush but Cologne knocks her to the floor with two
quick staff thrusts. Cologne, in a blur of movement, knocks Ukyo's
giant
spatula and remaining throwing spatulas away. Ukyo flips to her feet
then
attempts a kick at Cologne but the old woman counters with a blur of
strikes
that sends Ukyo flying through the doorway and into the street.)
Perfume: {concerned}Airen!
(Perfume rushes out the door followed closely by Mousse. Cologne shakes
her head in disappointment then returns to her table. Akane watches
this all
in confusion.)
======================================================
(Many hours later Ukyo groans and opens her eyes to find herself
bandaged
and laying on her bed at Ucchan's. Before she can manage to sit up
Perfume
suddenly hugs her fiercely.)
Perfume: Oh airen, was so worried! You is okay, yes?
Ukyo: {angrily}Perfume, let me go!
(Perfume withdraws in fear and Ukyo sits up.)
Ukyo: {angrily}How could you do this to me?! Don't you understand, I'm
not going to marry you!
Perfume: I is sorry. I no know Cologne do that. I no want hurt
husband.
Ukyo: Why do you keep calling me your husband? I'm a woman, not a
man.
Perfume: Thought you like acting as boy. I... ah... play along.
(Ukyo drops her face into her hands and shakes her head.)
Perfume: I is really sorry. {pause}I help you get cure if want.
(Ukyo looks up at Perfume suspiciously.)
Ukyo: Why?
Perfume: I no want you become mate through force.
Ukyo: Then tell Cologne that.
Perfume: I did. She no change mind.
(Ukyo drops her face back into her hands. After a minute Ukyo looks
back
up at Perfume.)
Ukyo: Look, Perfume, I'm not like you. I'm not attracted to other
girls.
(Perfume looks at Ukyo in confusion.)
Ukyo: You do know that some people are only attracted to people of the
opposite sex don't you?
Perfume: I no understand. I know girl would prefer boy but if find
good-
Ukyo: Nonono, you may be like that but I'm not.
Perfume: How know?
Ukyo: Uh, I just do.
Perfume: Have ever given other girl chance? I be very good wife for
you.
Ukyo: I'm sure you could be a good wife but-
Perfume: Then give me chance. I show you I be good wife.
Ukyo: Perfume, you don't understand.
Perfume: {sadly}You no like me.
Ukyo: Nono-
Perfume: {depressed}I knew it. No one ever like weakling girl like
me. I
going to be alone for rest of life! *sob*
(Perfume starts to break into tears.)
Ukyo: Nono, that's not what I mean! I do like you, just-
Perfume: {hopeful}You do?
Ukyo: Yes but-
(Perfume suddenly grabs Ukyo again in a fierce hug that knock the air
out of
her.)
Perfume: Oh, you make me so happy. I show you be good wife.
Ukyo: {weakly}But-
(Perfume lets Ukyo go then rushes to the door.)
Perfume: I go find cure for you right now. I make you very proud.
(Perfume rushes out before Ukyo can respond. Ukyo looks down at the
floor in despair then starts rubbing her temples as Mousse comes to the
doorway.)
Mousse: Ahem.
(Ukyo looks up at Mousse.)
Mousse: I take it things aren't going so well.
Ukyo: I said I liked her and she jumped to the conclusion that I loved
her.
Now I know how Ranma must have felt.
Mousse: You know, this is the 90s after all, you could give her a
chance.
Ukyo: Have you lost your mind?! I'm not like that! I'm not!!!
Mousse: Yeah, I know, just joking.
Ukyo: It's not funny.
Mousse: Sorry. Look, I can handle the restaurant for a while so don't
get
worried.
Ukyo: It's not that Mousse. {pause}I had two driving forces in my
life,
Ranma and my cooking. I've lost Ranma, I can't lose this too. I can't
take
that. I just can't.
(Mousse walks in and sits down next to Ukyo.)
Mousse: Don't give up hope. Perfume said she'd help, so will I, and
I'm
sure the others will too if necessary. We won't let her get away with
this, I
promise.
Ukyo: Thanks.
Mousse: It's the least I can do for such a nice employer.
Ukyo: *small laugh*
======================================================
(The next day Ukyo is rushing through the rain on her way to school.
She
stops briefly below a tarp in front of a shop and shakes out her hair.
A
whistle causes her to turn and she sees Ranma-chan rushing up the street
with Shampoo-cat in her arms and several school bags on her back.
Following behind them are Akane-cat and Ryoga-pig (otherwise known as
P-chan in certain other worlds).)
Ranma: Ukyo! Can you give me a hand here?
Ukyo: *sigh*Yeah, sure.
(Ukyo takes some of the school bags off Ranma-chan then picks up Ryoga-
pig and Akane-cat when they get close enough. Together with Ranma-chan
they rush the remaining distance to the school and stop just outside the
washrooms in the school. Ukyo waits outside as the others enter the
respective washroom (Ranma-chan goes into the boys washroom). A
moment later Ranma-kun comes out.)
Ranma: I swear that weather man is dead when I get my hands on him!
Ukyo: You should use umbrellas.
Ranma: Now there's an idea. {pause}How you doing?
Ukyo: Lousy.
Ranma: Hey, if you need any help clobbering-
Ukyo: What good would that do? I need her to fix this stupid thing and
the
only way she'll do that is if I, stress I, beat her.
Ranma: Yeah, I guess that does pose a slight problem.
Shampoo: Ukyo will beat old hag.
(Shampoo (dressed in her school uniform) appears from the washroom
followed by Akane(also dressed in her school uniform).)
Shampoo: She is no perfect. Ukyo just need train.
Ukyo: Train?! I lasted a total of 10 seconds last time I fought her.
Shampoo: Shampoo has done worse and come back to beat opponent, Ukyo
can too.
Akane: Yeah, don't let that old hag get to you. She's human and she
can be
defeated, admittedly not easily but it can be done.
Ukyo: I hope you're right because if you're not...
(Ukyo shakes her head and walks off. Ranma-kun, Shampoo and Akane
watch her go then Ranma-kun sighs.)
Ranma: This is nearly as bad as when I told her about my engagement.
{pause}What's taking Ryoga so long?
(Ranma-kun goes into the men washroom.)
Ranma (from inside the washroom): Ryoga, you idiot! That's the
bathroom
stall! This is the exit! {pause}NO! This way! {pause}THAT'S THE
WINDOW!!! Ahh, come on!
(Ranma-kun comes out of the washroom with Ryoga (dressed in a school
uniform) in tow.)
Ryoga: Give me a break, I'm new here. I need time to get my bearings
straight.
Ranma: Oh please! We're late enough as it is!
======================================================
(Later that day Ranma-kun is sitting below a tree examining his lunch.
Shampoo comes over and sits down next to him. Ranma-kun pulls out small
plastic box and shows it to Shampoo.)
Ranma: What is this stuff?
Shampoo: Akane try... is trying a new recipe. Shampoo... I sure... I'm
sure
it's good.
(Ranma examines the contents of the plastic box then takes out some
chopsticks and begins eating. After a moment he nods.)
Ranma: Not bad but why does she insist on trying new recipes every
other
day.
Shampoo: She trying... is trying to broaden her horizons, as she say...
said.
Ranma: Her horizons are wide enough. Some of this stuff I'm not too
sure
about.
Shampoo: At least you no... didn't taste her early creations.
Shampoo... I
had to suffer through them for two months while... I taught her to cook.
Ranma: Come on, it couldn't have been that bad.
Shampoo: Ranma, she once use...d salt instead of sugar to make a cake.
(Ranma-kun gives a look of shear disgust.)
Shampoo: And that was after a month and a half of training.
Ranma: Amazing. {pause}You forgot to speak correctly this morning.
(Shampoo scowls.)
Shampoo: {brooding}It just thought of gr... Cologne that make Shampoo
so
mad!
(Ranma nods in agreement.)
Ranma: She can be quite the nuisance but she's been relatively civil
since
the fight.
Shampoo: {brooding}Still can no believe she actually try kill Akane.
Is
unforgivable!
Ranma: Well, the way I see it, if she-
Female voices: Lecher! Pervert! Get him!
(Ranma-kun and Shampoo turn to see a tiny little man, very old in
appearance, wearing ninja style garbs, and carrying a large sack over
his
back, running from a large group of girls carrying various crude
weapons.)
Ranma: What the...
(Suddenly Akane leaps over the crowd and starts closing the gab between
herself and the old man. With a quick burst of speed she manages to
catch
up and grab the old man and lifts him from the ground. The crowd of
girl
surround her and the old man, and they stare evilly at him.)
Akane: All right, you better have a good explanation for this.
Old man: Well, you see it's like this... ahh...
Girl in crowd: Let him loose Akane so we can cream him.
Old man: {excited}Akane? You're Akane?
Akane: Ahh, yeah.
(Suddenly Akane finds the old man embedded in her chest, between her
breasts.)
Old man: {excited}Oh Akane, it's been so long!
(Akane smashes the old man to the ground with her fist just as Shampoo
and
Ranma-kun make their way through the crowd.)
Akane: {angrily}What do you think you're doing you old lech?! Who are
you?
Old man: {depressed}You don't remember me. I... I... I'm heart
broken.
After all I did for you how could you forget me?!
(The old man breaks into tears.)
Akane: Do you know this man Shampoo?
Shampoo: No. Never seen before... him before.
Ranma: Okay old man, just who are you supposed to be?
(The old man suddenly stops crying.)
Old man: Why, I'm Soun Tendo's master of course.
Akane: Master?! You taught my dad?!
Old man: Most certainly did. Taught him every little thing he knows.
Ranma: Hmmmm, that would probably account for Pop.
Old man: Oh, so you're Ranma are you, Genma's son. Hmmm
(The old man suddenly leaps around, examining Ranma-kun from various
angles and finally stops in front of him with frown and a nod.)
Old man: Not too shabby. Genma has been doing his job after all.
Ranma: Could have fooled me. So, what brings you around... What's your
name?
Old man: You may refer to me as master Happosai.
Ranma: Yeah, whatever. What are you doing here anyway?
Old man: Oh, just thought I'd pay a visit to my old pupils. We didn't
exactly get to make a proper farewell when I last saw them.
(Ranma-kun looks up at the school clock.)
Ranma: Well, we got enough time to get there and back.
Akane: Fine, you two take him.
(Akane grabs up the sack which is lying on the ground and throws it to
the
girls.)
Happosai: Hey, those are mine!
Akane: No they aren't. You stole them, now get going before we decide
to
clobber you.
(Happosai reluctantly turns and starts to follow Ranma-kun and Shampoo
through the still very angry crowd of girls. Just then Kuno flies over
head.)
Kuno: I shall have vengeance Hibiki! I shall defeat your foul magics
and
free the beautiful Akane Tendo once more.
Akane: Oops, forgot about that.
(Akane runs off in the opposite direction that Kuno is flying. A short
distance away Ukyo watches Ranma-kun and Shampoo leave with Happosai
then sighs and starts walking back towards the school.)
Ukyo: [Not a chance in hell of those two breaking up anytime soon! I
can't
believe my bloody luck! The man I fall in love with runs off, then I
find out
he didn't even know I was a woman. To top it off I never even had a
chance at regaining him. Damn that... that... No, can't blame her.
Can't
blame him either. Now this stupid, blasted ghoul comes in. What
next?!
Why doesn't a meteor come in right now and crush my skull?! At least
then I
finally get some peace.]
(Suddenly Perfume lands in front of Ukyo, startling her.)
Perfume: Ukyo!
(Perfume happily hugs Ukyo.)
Ukyo: Perfume, hey, do you mind! People are watching you know!
(Perfume releases Ukyo and smiles shyly.)
Perfume: Sorry, no mean embarrass you. Ahhh, have good news, I find
cure.
Ukyo: {excite}What? How?
Perfume: Is Phoenix pill. It give great heat resistance. With you,
restore
normal resistance.
Ukyo: {excited}All right!! Where can I find it?
(Perfume looks down at her feet and scraps her shoe over the grass.)
Perfume: That is bad part. Cologne has it.
(All of Ukyo's excitement drains away to nothingness and she slumps to
the
ground.)
Ukyo: {depressed}Great.
(Perfume kneels down on the ground to look Ukyo in the eye.)
Perfume: Not that bad. All Ukyo have do is take pill from Cologne, not
defeat.
(Ukyo considers this for a minute.)
Ukyo: That would be easier. Where does she keep it?
Perfume: No know, but Cologne make deal with you, if take amulet she
wear then she tell where Phoenix pill is, if can not you agree to
marriage. I
is sorry could not get better deal.
Ukyo: How long do I have?
Perfume: As long as need but only get challenge once.
Ukyo: Grabbing some stupid amulet shouldn't be that tough.
Perfume: You no know Cologne. She very fast, faster than me. Is
tougher
task than think.
Ukyo: Ranma beat you.
Perfume: He use... Grand Lightning Punch. Is fast technique, much
faster
than Kachu Tenshin Amaguriken. Maybe he teach or Shampoo, she know
too.
Ukyo: Yeah, how tough could it be.
======================================================
(Later that day, at Ucchan's, Ukyo is on the phone in the back room.)
Ukyo: What do you mean you have problems? {pause}You mean that old
guy- {pause}You're kidding. {pause}What about Shampoo?
{pause}Yeah, but- {pause} Hmm. {pause}Well can't she- {pause}I don't
know if I can last that long. {pause}You sure you can't?
{pause}*sigh*Well, thanks anyway. Bye.
(Ukyo hangs up the phone and heads into the dinning area. Several
customers sit throughout the room, Mousse is at the grill cooking and
Perfume sits at an empty table. As soon as Ukyo enters Mousse and
Perfume both come to her.)
Mousse: Well?
Ukyo: Ranma has his hands full with that old man they met this morning
and
Shampoo is having more troubles with Kodachi. He figures a week at
least
until one of them will have enough time.
Mousse: A week, that's not so bad.
Ukyo: I can't last a week, I'm going crazy as is and this is just the
second
day. In a week I will be hanging from the ceiling.
Mousse: Then we'll just have to improvise. Perfume, the Kachu Tenshin
Amaguriken, you know it right?
Perfume: Yes.
Mousse: Good, that'll have to do.
Ukyo: But Cologne knows that technique and she's even faster than
Perfume.
Mousse: Then we'll just have to modify it a little, but first you need
to
learn it.
Ukyo: All right, what do I have to do?
Perfume: Grab chestnuts from open fire.
Ukyo: WHAT?!
======================================================
(A few days later we find Ryoga running down a market road. In close
pursuit is Kuno, bokken draw for battle.)
Kuno: Face the darkness of forever Hibiki! I shall defeat you and end
your
rain of terror over my love!
Ryoga: Give it a break would you Kuno! [Geez, I wonder if this is how
Ranma felt when I was chasing him.] {pause}Ahh, hell with it!
(Ryoga suddenly stops and leaps into the air, drawing his umbrella. He
spins around, spins the umbrella then sends it spiraling at Kuno with a
wind
beginning to surround it.)
Ryoga: UMBRELLA CYCLONE ASSAULT!!!
(Kuno braces for the attack but is blown off his feet and into a nearby
pile
of garbage. Ryoga lands then grabs his umbrella as it spins back to
him.
Kuno groans then passes out. Ryoga nods with satisfaction, turns around
then stops and looks at his surroundings in confusion.)
Ryoga: Dammit, not again! Where am I now?!!
(Akane comes running up from street from the way Kuno and Ryoga came.)
Akane: Ryoga! Don't move!
Ryoga: {to the sky as he turns to see Akane}Thank you, thank you, thank
you.
(Akane comes to a stop next to Ryoga.)
Akane: Huh?
Ryoga: Nothing, just glad to see you.
Akane: {as she looks back at Kuno}When's he going to get it?
Ryoga: Soon I hope.
Akane: I wouldn't count on it.
(Akane looks back at Ryoga.)
Akane: I'm starved, let's go somewhere.
Ryoga: Sure, ahh, where?
Akane: Ummm, well, I should go check on how Ukyo is doing. We can eat
there. Come on.
(Akane smiles at Ryoga and takes his hand. Ryoga blushes and lets Akane
lead him down the road until they arrive at Ucchan's. They enter and
find
Mousse cooking for a few customers. They walk over to an empty table
and
sit down. After a moment Mousse comes over.)
Mousse: Hi there, social visit or are you here to eat?
Akane: Both. We'll just have our usual.
Mousse: Sure.
Akane: Where's Ukyo?
Mousse: Out back with Perfume. She isn't doing so good.
(Mousse goes back to the grill.)
Ryoga: Maybe if we all ganged up on her we could force her to tell us
where the pill is.
Akane: Cologne's not the type of person to be intimidated. She can
stare
down Soon Li and I get goose pimps when Soon Li gives me a stern look.
No, I'm afraid Ukyo's stuck.
Ryoga: We could try searching again.
Akane: Where? I've looked everywhere I can possibly think of. She
must
of hid it someplace we don't know about. It's just no good. {pause,
then as
she stands up}You wait here, I'm going to talk to Ukyo. Be back in a
minute or two.
Ryoga: Sure.
(Ryoga watches as Akane walks off into the back room then sighs in
contentment and leans back.)
Ryoga: [What bliss. Finally my life shows a hint of light. Hint!
This is a
blazing star of joy!]
(Ryoga smiles then starts to ponder something as Mousse sits down across
from him.)
Mousse: Have some sort of problem?
Ryoga: Ah, yeah. {pause}I... Well, we've, you know, been da.. dating
for
a while now but...
Mousse: You want to try for something more.
Ryoga: Ahh, yeah, I guess so.
Mousse: Can't handle the stress huh?
(Ryoga bows his head and nods sadly.)
Mousse: I've always been of the policy that if you want something you
should go for it.
Ryoga: {looking back up, hopefully}You think so?
Mousse: Yeah, but then again I lost what I wanted.
(Ryoga goes back to his sad look.)
Mousse: I'll go get your meals.
======================================================
(Outside Ucchan's Perfume is busy wrapping bandages on Ukyo's slightly
burned hands with Akane watching. A small fire burns a few feet away.)
Akane: Ukyo, burning your hands off won't solve your problem.
Ukyo: I'm going to learn this stupid technique and beat that damned
ghoul if
it's the last thing I do.
Akane: It very well may be if you don't take it easy. Perfume, how
long
did it take you to learn this technique?
Perfume: {nervously}Month or so.
Ukyo: A MONTH!!! Why didn't you tell me that before?!!
Perfume: {extremely nervous}Well, ahh... umm...
Ukyo: Just great! Just great!
(Perfume finishes with the bandages and gets up nervously.)
Perfume: I go help Mousse, okay?
Ukyo: Whatever!
(Perfume nervously leaves and Ukyo turns back to the fire and stares at
it
angrily. Her anger turns to despair and she bows her head and shakes
it.)
Ukyo: {depressed}I can't take this anymore, I can't.
Akane: Don't talk like that.
Ukyo: {near breakdown}I... I just can't. I can't last a month, a week,
another day even. DAMN HER!!!
(Ukyo slams her fists onto the ground while Akane sadly watches. After
a
moment Ukyo stops and stands up, breathing hard and looking desperate.)
Ukyo: I have to give in.
Akane: No, come on-
Ukyo: I HAVE TO!! Akane, I can't take this any longer. One more day
and
I'll lose it completely. I don't care anymore, anything is better than
this.
Akane: No, you can't give into her, you can't! You can do this.
Ukyo: I CAN'T!!! I CAN'T!!!! It's too much for me to take! I'll lose
everything I have if this goes any longer, everything.
(Ukyo starts to walk rapidly off but Akane rushes in front of her and
blocks
her path.)
Akane: {sternly}Ukyo, get a hold of yourself! Are you going to let
some
old crone defeat you with some stupid trick?!!
(Ukyo considers this.)
Akane: If you give in now you'll be trapped in a false marriage to
another
woman. You won't be happy, even she won't be happy really. You got to
hold out, not only for yourself but for her too.
(Ukyo slowly nods then gets more determined and nods some more.)
Ukyo: You're right, you're right, but what do I do? I'm no closer to
learning this dumb technique than I was two days ago.
Akane: Maybe you're just going about it the wrong way. Maybe some
alternate form of training is in order.
Ukyo: Like what?
Akane: I don't know. You're just going to have to find something.
(Ukyo considers for a moment then nods. She rubs her face.)
Ukyo: *sigh*I need to go for a walk. {pause}Thanks Akane, I was...
Akane: Yeah, yeah, don't worry about it. Can happen to the best of us,
especially with Cologne involved.
(Ukyo nods then walks off past Akane. Akane watches her go then heads
back into Ucchan's and sits down with Ryoga. Perfume brings over two
plates of okonomiyaki.)
Perfume: Is Ukyo better now?
Akane: For now. Perfume, are you sure you can't remember anything
about
where she might have hidden that pill?
Perfume: No remember anything.
Akane: Well, unless something drastic happens really soon, she's not
going
to make it.
(At the grill Mousse looks up with a hint of concern. He thinks for a
second
then returns to his work.)
======================================================
(Shampoo lays on her bed reading a book. She scowls every few seconds
then finally puts the book down on her chest and rubs her eyes. When
she
opens her eyes again Ranma-kun is leaning over her.)
Shampoo: {startled}Ranma?
Ranma: You know, I've been thinking...
Shampoo: About what?
Ranma: Oh, I think it's time.
Shampoo: {confused}Time for-
(Ranma-kun cuts Shampoo off by kissing her on the lips. She closes her
eyes and starts to wrap her arms around Ranma but suddenly finds him
hugging her about the chest. She looks down at him in confusion.)
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
(Shampoo wakes up on her bed, bats a book off her face and looks down to
see Happosai nestled between her breasts. She cringes then begins to
shake
angrily.)
======================================================
(In the Tendo common room Soun and Genma are busy playing a game of
Go when a huge crash of thunder is heard.)
Shampoo (from upstairs): HAPPOSAI, YOU I KILL!!!!!!
(Another crash of thunder followed by running feet is heard. Streams of
tears come down from Soun's eyes.)
Soun: {sadly}I was feeling so good until he came.
(Genma nods in agreement. Suddenly Ranma-kun runs into the room.)
Ranma: {as he runs around the corner}That's it! He's dead!!!
(Seconds later a new set crashes and thunder is heard upstairs.)
======================================================
(Elsewhere, Akane and Ryoga (Akane in the lead) are walking home from
Ucchan's. Ryoga is fidgeting with his fingers nervously. Akane looks
back
at Ryoga.)
Akane: Something wrong Ryoga?
Ryoga: {nervously}Ahh, nonono, I'm fine, fine, really.
Akane: {as she looks forward again}Okay.
(Ryoga fidgets for a few seconds longer then increases his pace to be
beside Akane.)
Ryoga: {nervously}Ahh, Akane, you... ahhh... like me, right?
Akane: Of course.
Ryoga: {nervously}I mean we've been... dating for a while now right?
Akane: Yes.
(They come to the gate to the Tendos' and stop while Akane opens it.)
Ryoga: {nervously}You know that I... ah... really like... I mean
love... ah
you right.
(Akane finishes opening the gate and turns to Ryoga, a little excited.)
Akane: Of course I do.
Ryoga: {nervously}Well, I... umm... wanted to... ask you if maybe...
possibly... if you'd like to... maybe... ahhh...
Akane: {anxiously exited}Yes?
(Ryoga fidgets nervously then after a moment moves closer to Akane,
looking her directly in the eyes.)
Ryoga: {nervously}Ahh, well...
(Ryoga looks off to the side then back at Akane. He starts to lean over
just
a little towards Akane when...)
Happosai: Akane, save me!
(Akane suddenly finds Happosai attached to her chest and lets out a
startled
scream. Ryoga is so startled he can do little more than blink in
confusion.
Akane fumes and slams the old man into the ground as Shampoo and
Ranma-kun come racing towards them.)
Akane: DIE YOU PERVERT!!!
(Akane attempts to kick Happosai but he leaps to a nearby rooftop and
runs
off laughing.)
Akane: {angrily}He's not going to get away with this!!
(Akane leaps to the roof after him and is soon followed by Ranma-kun and
Shampoo. Ryoga sighs in disappointment then looks angry and races after
the others.)
Ryoga: [Damn that old freak!!! I was so close!!!]
======================================================
(Later that night, Mousse is sitting in the empty Ucchan's. He looks at
the
door then gets up and walks into the back room. A moment later he
returns
carrying a bottle and sits down at a table.)
Mousse: [Where the hell is she? You'd think she'd at least call.]
(Mousse takes a sip of the drink then pulls out a picture of Shampoo and
looks at it sadly.)
Mousse: {sadly}Shampoo.
(Mousse continues to look at the picture for another minute while taking
a
sip of his drink. He looks at the drink in disgust.)
Mousse: [Really got to get Ukyo to get some sake around here. This
soda
tastes like sewer water.]
(Mousse puts the bottle down on the table then puts the picture back in
his
shirt. He pulls out a picture of Ranma-kun and scowls at it.)
Mousse: [What do women see in you anyway?]
(Mousse looks across to wall where a dart board is hanging. He pulls
out a
dagger, throws the picture into the air then throws the dagger at it,
pinning
the picture to the board.)
Mousse: [I work my whole life to get her and you stole her from me.]
(Bang! A dagger sticks into the picture, directly between the eyes.)
Mousse: [I'd love to do that for real.] *sigh*[Yeah, and Shampoo would
probably use the same dagger to tear my heart out. {pause}Jerk couldn't
even be satisfied with one woman. No, he had to toy with others too.
Akane, Kodachi, well she's crazy, who'd want her anyway. Even Ukyo.]
(Bang!)
Mousse: [What kind of a jerk makes a woman fall in love with him then
runs off?]
(Bang!)
Mousse: [I'd never do that, but what do I get?]
(Bang!)
Mousse: [Nothing! Can't even get Perfume to like me. {pause}At least
she
doesn't love the guy. {pause}Where the hell is Ukyo?]
(Mousse looks back at the door then returns to looking at the picture
(now
with a dagger in each eye, one in the throat and the original one
between the
eyes). He grabs his drink, finishes it off then gets up and heads into
the
back room. Just then Ukyo comes in looking tired and ragged but
otherwise
fine. She looks across at the dart board and raises an eyebrow. Mousse
comes out from the back and sees her.)
Mousse: Oh, you're back.
Ukyo: Yeah. {pause}A little diversion?
Mousse: Huh? {looks across at the dart board}Ah, sort of.
{pause}Where
you been?
Ukyo: {as she walks to the dart board}Just sorting things out.
(Ukyo removes the daggers from the picture and then looks at it for a
moment.)
Ukyo: Hating him won't change anything.
Mousse: I know, but it gives me something to do with my time.
(Ukyo crumbles up the picture and throws it into a waste basket.)
Ukyo: Well, it's not worth driving yourself nuts over. Ranma, Shampoo,
they're both lost to us. You should find someone else to give your
affections to.
(Ukyo starts to go into the back.)
Mousse: Uh, Perfume is in your room.
Ukyo: What?!
Mousse: She was waiting for you to get back and fell asleep so I put
her in
there for a while. I can go wake her if-
Ukyo: Nah, let her sleep. I got things to do anyway.
(Ukyo goes into the back. She takes a brief look into her room where
Perfume lays curled up on top of the covers.)
Perfume: {in her sleep}Ukyo...
(Perfume smiles then roles over. Ukyo shakes her head and shivers in
slight
disgust then moves off to the kitchen.)
Ukyo: {to herself}Don't want to know. Don't want to know.
(After a moment she returns to the dining area carrying several
spatulas.)
Ukyo: The kid even dreams about me. She really needs a guy or
something.
(Mousse nods in agreement as Ukyo goes to the grill and places the
spatulas
on it, handles over the edge.)
Mousse: What are you doing?
Ukyo: {as she turns on the grill}Trying something I should have tried
from
the start.
(Mousse walks over to the grill and watches as Ukyo quickly grabs a
spatula, flips it in her hand then puts it back on the grill. She
repeats this
another couple times then starts to do two in a row, then three, four,
five,
six, and continues adding to the number of spatulas until she is
flipping
almost twenty spatulas in less than a second. She increases the speed
of the
flips, flipping each twice, then three times, then four and so on until
all that
can be seen of her hands is a blur.)
Mousse: How in the...
Ukyo: This is how I built up my speed when I was a kid. Haven't
bothered
with it much lately so I never realized I could go so much faster now if
I just
push myself.
Mousse: You won't even need the pill at this rate.
Ukyo: This is good for fast food but not good enough for my
masterpieces.
(Ukyo stops her motions to reveal the spatulas are now glowing red hot.
Ukyo smiles and her aura glows slightly as she shakes her fist.)
Ukyo: Another couple hours of this and I'll be able to grab a mountain
of
chestnuts from a fire no problem. Now, about those modifications you
were
talking about...
======================================================
(Ukyo, armed and ready for heavy combat (her battle spatula across her
back and wearing a double bandoleer of spatulas, a belt with nearly a
solid
band of spatulas, and a pair of gloves), walks up the street to an open
lot.
Mousse walks beside her.)
Mousse: I don't like this, letting her choose the location was a bad
idea.
Ukyo: What does it matter? Here, my place, the Nekohanten, I'll get
that
stupid amulet where ever the battle is. What is the difference?
Mousse: I still don't like it.
(Ukyo and Mousse leap onto the fence and look on in surprise and shock
at
the lot in front of them. Numerous fires and fields of hot coals litter
the lot
leaving no ground uncovered. At the center of this, Cologne balances
confidently on her staff, an amulet around her neck. Perfume sits
nervously
on the fence at the other end of the lot.)
Mousse: What is this?!!
Cologne: You did not think I would stand ideally by and let Ms. Kuonji
take the amulet did you?
Ukyo: I thought you Amazons had some honor?
Cologne: We do. Did I ever say the location would be a balanced
fighting
ground?
Mousse: This is unfair as hell and you know it.
Cologne: All is fair in love and war.
Mousse: {angrily}Why you-
Ukyo: Mousse, drop it.
(Mousse reluctantly relaxes slightly and sits down on the wall.)
Ukyo: Okay ghoul, tricks or no tricks I'm getting that amulet. You
better
live up to the deal.
Cologne: If I lose the amulet, the pill will be yours. If you lose,
you agree
to marry Perfume.
Ukyo: Right. Let's get this over with.
(Ukyo readies her battle spatula and leaps into the air at Cologne.
Ukyo
strikes down but Cologne dodges. Ukyo then embeds her spatula in the
hot
coals below and balances on it. Cologne calmly taps the spatula,
throwing
Ukyo off balance. Ukyo in turn spins around the spatula, holding it
with her
hands and kicking out at Cologne. Cologne ducks under the kick but Ukyo
then pulls her spatula from the coals, flies through the air a few feet,
then
embeds it in another field of coals and balances.)
Cologne: Give up now, you can't keep this up forever.
Ukyo: Don't need to.
(Ukyo pushes off and lands on the fence. She jumps in the air and dives
down on Cologne. Ukyo switches her grip of the spatula to her legs then
prepares to strike with her hands.)
Ukyo: Kachu Tenshin Amaguriken!!
(A blur of fists from Ukyo meets an equally fast blur of fists from
Cologne.
Ukyo embeds her spatula in the coals and the two continue there
exchange.)
Cologne: Impressive, you learned one of the Amazons' greatest
techniques.
You will truly make a wonderful addition to the village.
(Ukyo stops the exchange and flips back to the fence with her spatula.)
Ukyo: Shut up!
Cologne: You didn't actually think you could make it through my
defenses
did you. I am a master of that technique.
Ukyo: Yeah, well I got a couple of modifications to show you.
(In a flash of motion Ukyo throws her entire arsenal of throwing
spatulas at
Cologne in less than a second. Cologne dodges into the air and blocks
with
her staff deflecting all the incoming projectiles. Ukyo jumps to meet
her
opponent in mid air and the two exchange another blur of attacks this
time
staff against spatula. The two crossover and land, Ukyo on the fence
and
Cologne in the field of hot coals.)
Cologne: If that's the best you have Ms. Kuonji this battle is all but
over.
Ukyo: I haven't lost yet.
(Ukyo leaps into the air and dives down on Cologne. Cologne spins her
staff and lowers it, still spinning, into the coals sending a hail off
hot rocks
at Ukyo. This time Ukyo desperately blocks the incoming projectiles and
just barely manages to embed her spatula in the ground and balance
before
landing.)
Cologne: The trouble with you is that you don't know when you're beat.
Ukyo: The trouble with you is that you are overconfident.
(Ukyo pulls off her gloves to reveal her hands to be wrapped in slightly
damp cloth.)
Ukyo: Try this. Kachu Tenshin Amaguriken revised, Okonomiyaki Art of
the Flaming Fist!!
(Ukyo again attacks with a blur of punches which is met by a blur of
punches from Cologne.)
Cologne: Revised?! This is no different than before.
Ukyo: Wait for it.
(Suddenly little puffs of smoke start to explode in front of Cologne,
then
small flashes of light and finally small fireballs. Cologne is startled
then
forced to withdraw when her robe catches on fire. Ukyo lets off a
triumphant yell as she holds up the amulet. Mousse shakes his arm in
victory as Perfume jumps for joy but is so overwhelmed she nearly falls
off
the fence but manages to recover. Cologne calmly pats out the fire on
her
person.)
Cologne: Most impressive. Some sort of flammable liquid in the cloth I
would guess.
Ukyo: Just a little cooking alcohol. Quite effective I think. Now,
where's
the pill.
Cologne: In the amulet, where else.
Ukyo: WHAT?!
(Ukyo opens up the amulet and finds a small pill inside.)
Cologne: The best place to hide something is in plain view, do you not
agree? Enjoy your victory young lady for I am not through with you yet.
(Cologne hops off as Ukyo gives her an angry look.)
======================================================
Ukyo: {overjoyed}Wooohooo!! Yes!!
(Ukyo tosses a half dozen okonomiyaki in the air which land on the
plates in
front of Mousse, Perfume, Ranma-kun, Shampoo, Akane and Ryoga.)
Ranma: {slightly amused}You seem happy Ukyo.
Ukyo: {overjoyed}Happy?! Happy?! I'm ecstatic!! I feel like
celebrating!
You guys want to go out.
Akane, Ranma, Ryoga, Shampoo: Sure.
Perfume: {excited}Ukyo is going to take me on date?
Ukyo: It's not a date, we're just going out, it's not a date, okay?!
Perfume: {moderately disappointed}Okay.
(Ukyo and the others start to get up to leave, taking their okonomiyaki
with
them. Mousse gets up to follow but stops at the door and pulls out the
picture of Shampoo and looks at it.)
Ukyo: Mousse, you coming or what?
Mousse: Ah, yeah, be right with you.
(Mousse takes one last look at the picture and drops it into the waste
basket
and rushes out.)
Mousse (from outside): Ukyo, wait up!
%End part 1