Okay, here are some inane ramblings about "Out of Sync" by Richard 
Lawson.

<rant mode>-Although I understand and appreciate the fact that this 
story is set in the dub continuity, being one of the more hardcore 
Sailormoon fans out there I'm obligated to bitch about your use of 
the dub names. It's just too weird to deal with the havoc DIC wrought 
upon the beloved Bishojo Senshi Sailormoon. </rant mode>

-I had to laugh at the poetry passage you chose for Mamoru (beeda!!!) 
to quote. Deliberate shades of Kunou?

-One more little nitpick: The Dark Kingdom. When Beryl and Metallia 
were defeated by Princess Serenity, the Dark Kingdom ceased to exist. 
But, then again, fanfic authors will as fanfic authors must, I 
suppose.

She finished transforming and quickly looked around.  >Everyone else 

was 

finishing up, and Ami was in fact back at work on her >computer, 

absently 

touching her headband so that her visor formed.

Anything wrong with the last part of this sentence? Hint: Starts with 
an H, should be a shorter word starting with T.

-The youma are very interesting, being shapeless. One gripe I have 
always had with the series is the tendency to come up with the most 
ridiculous looking monsters possible. They're a lot meaner without 
funky appearances.

-Ah, finally more nice crossovers are drifting into existence. Are 
you perhaps hinting at something bigger to come in the future? "This 
one bears watching..."

-The part where Ranma took the wind out of Sailor Moon's sails (whoo 
boy, was that ever a bad pun) was hilarious.

It shredded it in an instant, tearing away all of >Darien's 

defensive shields in an instant.

Reword this. The double use of "in an instant" is a bit redundant.

The final verdict: A very good story. I particularly liked the 
distortions in the reality. Needs a little polishing, otherwise 
another excellent fanfic from Mr. Lawson.


____
Saraba da!
-The Eternal Lost Lurker
http://pages.prodigy.com/RMorrison