(scene: a darkened room. Lights slowly come on to reveal the same messy
dorm room that we've all come to be so familiar with, with the worn couch
in the back and the small TV and VCR in front. On the couch this time,
though, is Noriko by herself, quietly mixing herself a mug of steaming
hot chocolate. A bowl of popcorn sits on the couch next to her.)
(Raphael comes into the room, slightly out of breath and clutching
several videotapes in his hands)
Noriko: (slightly annoyed) And where were you? You're almost fifteen minutes
late this time!
Raphael: (still catching his breath) Sorry about that. Just came back
from something else.
Noriko: (curious) What's that you've got in your hands? Another fanfic?
Raphael: No, not this time! The Director's Special Edition of "Bitter End"
just came in! All of it!
Noriko: What's the difference?
Raphael: Well, I haven't gotten a chance to watch through it yet, but I
think some scenes have been revised, better video and sound quality,
special effects, you know...
Noriko: We're not going to have to start over again, are we?
Raphael: (thinks for a moment) Naw... I think we can get away with
picking up where we left off. Besides, I think most of the major changes
are in the second half, anyway.
Noriko: All right. (turns to the camera) Well, now that my tardy partner
is _finally_ here, welcome to Mystery C&C Theater 1/2! Today, we continue
onward into Zen-san's "Bitter End."
Raphael: Hey! That's my line!
Noriko: Yes, but _you_ were late. I had to call from the front desk and
have your roommate let me in this time! (sweetly) Now, if you'd just pop in
that tape for me...
Raphael: ..... (pops the tape into the VCR, which begins playing
automatically)
10...9...8...7...6...5...4...3...2...
-----
Ranma thought about that, as they approached the Ucchan. Ukyou was right
- he did need help. Could these people really give it to him? There was
only one way to find out.
"Okay," he said. "I'll go back. But I have a condition."
Ukyou paused and turned to face him, raising an eyebrow. "What sort of
'condition'?"
"Will you go with me?"
Ukyou smiled. "You bet I will, Ran-chan."
-----
Noriko: (hopefully) Do you think it'll work?
Raphael: (doubtful) I'm just curious to know what Akane's gonna do when
she finds out about this.
Noriko: (apprehensive) Oh... Uh-oh...
-----
Ranma made it look so easy - made it appear so effortless. Ranma wasn't
spending his time tearing his hair over some obscure fact or formula. He
wasn't having to deal with deadlines, and busywork assigned by harried
professors who had too little time, and too many students. No, Ranma was
having fun; taking it easy. And Akane was beginning to hate him for it.
-----
Noriko: That semicolon really ought to be a comma instead. "Taking it
easy" isn't an independent clause.
-----
Akane was starting to get exasperated. "Ready for your *classes*, baka!
Your students should be here any minute."
"Oh. That. No." Ranma lapsed back into silence.
She moved between Ranma and the television. Ranma ignored her. "No?"
Akane felt her blood pressure start to rise. "No What?"
-----
Noriko: And that "What" should be lowercase.
Raphael: But maybe Zen did that to show emphasis on each word. You know,
"No _what_?"
Noriko: Maybe... But I think Zen-san would have done it differently if he
had meant it that way..."
-----
"No *sir*" Ranma replied sullenly.
-----
Raphael: Ooooh. That was a bad move.
Noriko: (nods) Yes, it was. There ought to be a comma at the end of that
clause, though.
Raphael: (incredulous) You know, just when I was beginning to think that
you couldn't possibly get any pickier, you go out and prove me wrong.
Noriko: (indignant) Just because I'm being picky doens't mean I'm
useless! Besides, what was it Zen-san thanked you for? Was it for your
"insightful" comments (sarcasm on the word "insightful"), or my
"nitpicking?" Hm?
Raphael: .....
-----
Ranma's smile was cold. "I'm sure that I don't know." she said levelly.
"But it *might* have something to do with the rumours that the sensei and
his wife fight all the time. Call it a hunch."
"Are you telling me that this is *my* fault? Is *that* what you're
telling me?"
"I didn't say that. I said...."
-----
Raphael: I should have seen this coming. I guess eventually everyone in
the world will realize Ranma and Akane's problem except for Akane, huh?
Noriko: Well, it's not like it's _entirely_ her fault, as much as it
looks like it, you know. She can't help half the stuff she does or says
anymore.
Raphael: Half? I think you're being generous here. I'd say about eighty
to ninety-five percent by now.
Noriko: Oh, I'm sorry; was I too inexact for you? Should I have included
a plus-or-minus range for you, too?
Raphael: (annoyed) Hey, I can tell when I'm being made fun of.
Noriko: (snickers)
-----
"Yes, dammit, I do! I don't know! Do you think that I *like* having you
angry? Do you think that I enjoy it when you're hammering on me?" Ranma
shook her head in frustration. "All I want is to see you smile more
often!"
"You want to see me smile more often? Then STOP PISSING ME OFF!"
"GYAAAHH!" Ranma closed her eyes and started counting to ten. By the
time she had reached thirty she felt safe in resuming the debate, but
Akane had gone.
A sharp cracking sound caught her attention. She looked down and noticed
the pulverised remains of the TV remote caught in her fist. "Damn," she
sighed softly to herself. "There goes another one...."
-----
Raphael: (a bit awestruck) Wow. I'm impressed.
Noriko: At the intensity of the scene? Yes, I agree; it was very well
done, as unpleasant as it was. A very good picture of how far gone
Ranma and Akane's relationship is. Kudos, Zen-san.
Raphael: (shaking his head) No, not that. Akane didn't even hit Ranma
once this time!
Noriko: Insensitive baka! (reaches for the popcorn bowl but suddenly
realizes it's on the other side of Raphael)
Raphael: Hey, none of that. No repeats of last time, right? (receives a
cushion in the face) Mmmph!
Noriko: (sweetly) Quite right.
-----
Once she was settled, Ranma asked casually. "Are you okay?"
"Just fine!" she answered, a little too brightly. "Why?"
"Well, you've that big bruise on the your right thigh, and another just
under the right shoulder, above the breast. And there are at least two
deep bruises on your upper right arm." said Ranma calmly.
Keiko almost dropped her pastry, her eyes wide. She was wearing slacks
and a sweater - baggy and opaque. "How... how the hell did you know
that?" she stammered.
-----
Raphael: Heh heh heh.
Noriko: It's not that funny, you know.
Raphael: Well... I guess I like to see people be put in their place,
that's all.
Noriko: You must _love_ watching the taped episodes of this show, then. By
the way, the period at the end of Ranma's diagnosis should be a comma.
-----
"You seem disturbed, Ranma...."
"What kind of coward beats up on a woman - let alone his wife?"
"Well, what about that harpy that you're married to?" Keiko shot back.
"Hey!" Ranma caught Keiko's sardonic grin and mentally kicked himself.
It *had* been a thoughtless remark.
-----
Noriko: And another good insight by Zen-san. I'm impressed.
Raphael: (confused) What do you mean?
Noriko: I mean that as much as a spouse may abuse another, he's still her
spouse! If they didn't still love their spouses, they would have left
them a long time ago. Why put up with the abuse?
Raphael: I always figured it was because they were afraid that if they
tried to get the guy locked up he might kill them.
Noriko: (thinks for a moment) Well... that probably _is_ another valid
concern, but too many people forget this factor, oversimplifying
their cases. And there's lots of other factors besides these two.
Unfortunately, there's never an easy answer.
Raphael: Including this fic?
Noriko: I'm beginning to worry that this might be the case...
-----
"But what about you?" Keiko studied Ranma. "That's a pretty nasty
bruise you have over your eye."
Ranma gingerly felt his forehead, wincing slightly as his fingers brushed
over the injury. "Oh, this? This is from the stone lantern in the
garden at home."
"Did your wife trip you or something?"
"Mmm? No, she threw it at me. I just didn't dodge in time."
Natsumi turned to Ukyou. "He *is* kidding this time, isn't he?"
-----
Raphael: You know, normal events in the Ranmaverse take on an entirely
new horror when you put them in the context of "real life..." (Noriko
gives Raphael a quick, unreadable look)
-----
"Yes, that makes sense," Ranma was nodding. "If he is drawing to get his
mind off of his problems, it would be. It might be interesting to see
some of his drawing. It might be that it could tell you something about
what he was really thinking or feeling."
"Do you really think so?" Miyuki looked surprised. "I hadn't thought of
that, but now that you mention it, it does sound reasonable."
-----
Raphael: Very insightful, Ranma. Perhaps a bit too insightful.
Noriko: What's wrong?
Raphael: Well, maybe it's just me, but I have trouble seeing the same
Ranma who couldn't see through any of Shampoo's silly schemes suddenly
penetrate through a complex relationship problem. I dunno.
Noriko: Well, maybe Ranma's new situation has caused him to step back and
get a better overall picture of life. He certainly doesn't have the
luxury anymore to be happy-go-lucky; he probably spends a lot of his time
in thought now. Besides, I seem to remember that some of the most
brilliant minds also had some of the most abusive spouses.
-----
She sobered. "He hits me a lot."
"Actually, that's not what I meant. Does he always hit you the same
*way*. does he always use the same attack?"
-----
Noriko: "Does" should be capitalized. (notices Raphael grinning) What're
you so happy about?
Raphael: (pleased as punch, no pun intended, of course >_< ) I think I
see what Ranma's gonna do next. Now _this_, I can see Ranma helping the
group with. Ranma's really in his element here.
-----
Keiko's eyes were wide. "How did you do that?" she asked.
"It's simple, really. The thing to remember is that when a punch is
thrown, it is hard for the thrower to change its direction. The harder
the punch, the more effort it takes the puncher to redirect it. It's a
matter of momentum."
"So?" Keiko asked.
Ranma grinned. "It's also true that the harder the punch is, the
*easier* it is for the person being punched to deflect, or redirect the
blow."
-----
Raphael: Ooooh! Martial Arts Physics!
Noriko: (rolls her eyes) Well, of _course_ there's lots of physics
involved in martial arts. If they weren't physics-based, you know, they
wouldn't work.
-----
"Right. That's because the water is stronger than you are. It can apply
more pressure than you can - there is no way that you are going to stop
it. Now, take your thumb and press it against the *side* of the nozzle,
against the stream of water. What happens now?"
"The water shoots off to the side, because...." Keiko's eye's snapped
open. "I get it!"
-----
Raphael: What possession of Keiko's eye snapped open? Maybe her lids?
Noriko: Honestly! You could have just said that there shouldn't be an
apostrophe there...
-----
Ranma stared into the depths of his teacup. He had enjoyed showing those
blocks to Keiko... he had felt like he was really doing something to
help. But a class? That implied a commitment; an obligation. Was he
really ready for that? Was he so sure that they would come to truly
accept him? No. But they needed, and had asked for his help as well.
Even if he hadn't asked for theirs, duty demanded this of him. His
insecurity and his conscience fought a brief battle. "What sort of a
class did you have in mind?" Ranma asked quietly.
-----
Noriko: There's that pesky semicolon again. It should be a colon,
Zen-san. (turns to Raphael) Do you think Ranma's going to take it?
Raphael: Does Ranma like martial arts?
-----
"First of all, I'm NOT going to teach them how to fight."
That statement caught Kimiko by surprise. Noting her look, Ranma
explained. "Learning to fight well takes a long time, Kimiko. More
importantly, a real fight is very likely to make things worse. If I
understood what you were saying in the meeting earlier, then it would be
a safe bet that suddenly fighting back is only going to make the abuser
even angrier. That won't stop the attack, it'll intensify it.
-----
(Noriko gives Raphael a smug look which he tries to ignore)
-----
Ranma looked at the drawings, and back at Miyuki several times. After a
moment, he was nodding, too. "I see that now. So, tell me; is there any
resemblance between the heroine and your husband?"
"Well, not in looks, no. But if your guesses are right, then there are a
number of attitudes that they both share...." Miyuki's tone was
thoughtful. "I wonder... I am *definitely* going to have to take a
closer look at the rest of these drawings when I get home."
"You might also try to talk your husband into publishing this," said
Ranma. "The artwork is very good, and I like what I've seen of the
story. I'd really like to know how it ends."
-----
Noriko: (notices Raphael's slightly incredulous look) Not again?
Raphael: Well... I guess I can see this one more readily than the other
one. I mean, most people agree that Ranma probably enjoys reading manga
as much as the next Japanese teen...
-----
"So would I, Ranma. So would I."
Standing off in the background, Kimiko smiled to herself. She loved it
when the group was working.
-----
Raphael: "I love it when a plan works out..."
Noriko: (chiding) Now be nice!
-----
With a nod and a grin, Ranma assured himself that his new students were
ready and began. "In a martial art, one of the first things that you
learn is how to fall - and how to be hit."
"How to BE hit? We KNOW how to be hit," said Natsumi darkly.
Ranma grimaced "That's not what I meant.. In order to fight back most
effectively, you have to learn how to move and absorb impacts to minimize
their effects. You are going to fall, and you are going to get hit. If
you can keep from getting hurt in the process, you'll be better able to
do something about it."
-----
Raphael: Heh. I like Natsumi's response... sounds like something I would say.
Noriko: You would. By the way, there should be a period at the end of
"Ranma grimaced".
-----
Natsumi was scratching her head. "But that doesn't make sense! How can
we control how badly they hurt us?"
"You've all seen really impressive fights in movies, haven't you?"
"Well, I'm no Jackie Chan fanatic, but yes, I've seen a few brawls in
films. What about it?" asked Setsuna.
-----
Raphael: Jackie Chan kicks so much butt.
Noriko: Are you going to help out or are you just going to make stupid
comments?
-----
"The water in the pool is absorbing the energy of your fall. It does so
by slowing you down. The faster you are moving, the longer it takes the
water to slow you, so the deeper you go. The energy in your fall is
being transferred to the water relatively slowly."
Keiko was nodding. "That makes sense."
"Now imagine that you have jumped off the board, and there is no water.
What happens to you?"
"I'll hit the bottom and break every bone in my body!"
"Right! D'you know why? It's because the energy of your fall would be
transferred to the concrete almost instantly. The concrete won't give,
like the water does. Instead of absorbing the force of your impact over
a distance, like the depth of the pool, it does so in no distance at
all. The shock of that sudden stop - that sudden transfer of energy - is
what makes the fall lethal."
-----
Raphael: Oooh! Sounds just like my Conservation Principles class! We just
finished conservation of energy... (Noriko sighs)
-----
Ukyou came up behind him and handed him a towel, startling him out of his
reverie. "What are you thinking?" she asked.
After a pause to consider his reply, Ranma said, "I like them. They're
interested in learning."
Ukyou smiled grimly. "Some of them certainly have a reason to be well
motivated. C'mon, Ran-chan. It's time to go home."
Ranma nodded and followed his friend out into the night.
-----
Noriko: You know, I'm rather fond of that scene. It's good to see Ranma
feeling good about something for a change.
Raphael: For now. I'm _still_ wondering what's gonna happen when Akane
finds out about all this. This is gonna take a healthy chunk out of his
Monday evenings, and Akane's probably going to be wondering just what
he's doing with his time. And I don't think the results are going to be
pretty...
-----
Today, Genma was having little difficulty getting the better of his son.
After the third time he's sent Ranma into the pond, he halted the session
and headed for the house. He was mildly surprised that he made it into
the house unchallenged. He'd deliberately left his guard down, and Ranma
had made no move to take advantage of it.
-----
Noriko: "He'd," not "he's."
-----
"Son," Genma's voice was surprisingly gentle. "What is it that's so bad
it takes your mind of the Art?"
That got a reaction. "Is that concern I hear in your voice, old man? You
must be slipping."
Genma sounded tired, even to his own ears. "Is it really so hard to
believe that I would be concerned for my son?"
-----
Raphael: Actually, yes. I really don't think Genma gives a rat's patootie
about his son, so long as he survives to continue on the Anything Goes
school.
Noriko: But Genma _is_ Ranma's father. Do you really think he doens't
care about Ranma at all? "Blood is thicker than water," and all that.
Raphael: (thinks for a moment) No. I don't.
Noriko: Not in the least? What a depressing outlook. You're fun to have
around. (Raphael thinks of something to say, but decides against it. He
settles for sticking his tongue out at her.)
-----
"Pop! It *is* serious!"
"Ranma m'boy, you're taking things far too seriously. Women are always
angry - it's just the way they are. No one really knows why."
-----
Raphael: (noticing Noriko's _really_ peeved reaction) And you were saying?
Noriko: (through tightly clenched teeth) Never mind.
-----
Ranma whirled on his father, fury in his eyes. "Is that really what you
think? That I'm that much like you? You may think that the perfect
couple squabbles all the time, but I don't. And I don't think that Akane
does either."
"Are you implying, son, that I am afraid of your mother?"
Ranma smirked. "Implying it? Hell no! I'll say it outright!"
-----
Raphael: Ha ha! Tell 'im, Ranma!
Noriko: Thanks, Zen-san. Genma had _that_ coming for a long while.
-----
When the next meeting night came, it was Ranma's turn on the grill. "So,
tell us, Ranma. How did you meet your wife? What brought the two of you
together?" asked Kimiko.
-----
Raphael: (groans) Oh, no, a synopsis segment!
Noriko: Give Zen-san some credit! I'm sure Zen-san has more discretion
than to use up space rehashing what we already know. Unlike _some_
authors I might mention...
Raphael: .....
-----
"But when Akane found out that I wasn't a girl, she didn't deal with it
so well. I guess she felt like I'd betrayed her somehow. She got angry,
and then I got angry, and both of us said some pretty mean and silly
things. Naturally, our fathers decided that Akane and I were perfect for
one another."
"Sounds like a pretty rocky way to start an engagement." chirped Kyoko.
-----
Noriko: See? That wasn't bad at all. Right? (Raphael sullenly nods his
agreement) Oh, yeah, you're going to rewrite all those clunky passages
after you finish "Scoop," right? It's embarrassing, having to talk like
you write.
Raphael: ..... ..... .....
-----
Ranma blushed. "I guess I have at that - and you have no idea how hard
it was or how long it took for me to realise that." he admitted. "But
once the engagement became public knowledge, Akane ended up being angry
with me most of the time. After that, things started to get
complicated."
-----
Noriko: There should be a comma at the end of that sentence there.
-----
Ukyou handed Ranma a soda, which he took gratefully. After taking a sip,
he went on. "As I got older, I found out that there was a dark side to
the Art."
"Beware the dark side of the Force, Luke!" quipped someone from the back
of the room.
-----
Raphael: Aaaaarrrrrgggghhhh!! (pulls hair in agony)
Noriko: (barely keeping control by clutching her notepad in a vise-like
grip) Somebody needs to seriously punish that heckler...
-----
"Second, you need to be aware that if you are put into a position where
you have to fight back, your primary goal is escape. If you resist your
attacker, the chances are good that it will make him angrier, and more
determined. You need to be ready, and *willing* to get away."
"Third, the quick disables that I'll be teaching you are part of a class
of strikes that are designed to give you the opportunity to escape. Some
will do more damage than others; all of them will make the target mad.
If you use them, there are two things that you *must* remember. Do NOT
hold back, strike, and strike *hard* And when you've struck, RUN."
-----
Noriko: I really like this as well. There are those sad self-defense
courses that forget to remind their students that the two or three hours
of "training" doesn't make them experts in hand-to-hand combat, giving
them a false sense of security and capability. And sometimes bad things
happen as a result...
-----
"Run? Run where?"
"Anywhere. A friend's house, or to your mother. Perhaps to a market or
restaurant, where there are people around. Someplace where you can keep
away from your attacker. I cannot stress this point strongly enough -
the MOST important part of a disable-and- run manoeuvre is the *run*."
-----
Noriko: And there's an extra space there.
-----
"You see? Your body was expecting that foot to be there for support -
when it wasn't - when that motion was disrupted, it disrupted your
balance." Ranma turned back to the others. "That is the essence of a
principle basis for many martial arts. You have to learn to use your
opponent's motion against him."
-----
Noriko: And I think it's "principal," rather than "principle."
Raphael: Are you sure about that?
Noriko: Almost positive. "Principle" is a noun, and only a noun, where
"principal" can be either an adjective describing importance or a noun
describing an idiot school administrator who cut off your funding.
-----
Ukyou smiled warmly, and got him the water. With another sigh, Ranma
tipped the cup over his head, and changed. She was just grateful that
most of the other women were too wrapped up in their own practice to take
much notice.
Ranma went over and tapped Rei on the shoulder. "Here," she said
gently. "Let me help you with that."
Rei stiffened at the contact, and spun to face Ranma. Here eyes went
wide as she noticed that Ranma was no longer quite so much taller than
she was. She blinked, but allowed Ranma to guide her through the first
set of kata. By the end of the set, the tension had left her, and she
was starting to get the moves down correctly.
-----
Noriko: You know, I _really_ love that scene-lette with Ranma changing to
get through Rei's defenses. It summarizes so well all of what Ranma is --
skilled as all get out, of course, but willing to sacrifice what he most
values to help someone in serious need.
Raphael: Makes you wonder if the curse is a curse after all. This is the
second time it's helped him break seemingly impassible barriers. You
think Zen subscribes to Lawson's "curse destiny" theory?\
Noriko: I don't really know about that, but it's nice to see that Ranma's
starting to come to terms with his curse. I'd actually consider it a
privilege to be able to find out how the other gender lives! (smirks) After
all, there isn't a single thing wrong with being a girl.
Raphael: Oh yeah? Would _you_ want to be cursed to turn into a guy?
(Noriko nearly spits out her sipful of cocoa) (smugly) Aha. Thought so.
-----
"Not at first. At first, it was just emotional abuse. But as Rei got
older, it turned sexual. The violence didn't start until she got old
enough to understand what was being done to her, and to say 'No.'"
"You mean... you mean...." Ranma felt sick. "Oh my god."
"I don't think that she's ever known a truly kind man before."
Ranma looked down at herself and sighed. "I'm not so sure that she knows
one now."
Kimiko put a comforting arm across the redhead's shoulders. "She knows,
Ranma. She knows."
-----
(tape ends)
Noriko: Whew. It looks like it's a very good thing that Ranma decided to
be part of the group, doesn't it? He's already help crack two nearly
uncrackable cases in such a short span.
Raphael: It seems the group's really benefiting from Ranma, huh? I
wonder, though, if Ranma's gonna benefit from the group.
Noriko: What do you mean?
Raphael: Well, I like to call it the "Kwai Chang Caine" effect. You know,
from Kung Fu. He helps out everyone else, but when he's in need, he's
only got himself to rely on. Kind of a bum position to be in, if you ask
me.
Noriko: You mean, "Who heals the physician?"
Raphael: Yeah. Basically.
Noriko: Well, things are starting to look up for Ranma, though. Even if
it doesn't give him an answer to his problem, he's still benefiting from
aiding others.
Raphael: Is it? Zen hasn't mentioned yet about Akane knowing anything
about this. I don't think her reaction will be a favorable one. And you
know she's gonna have to find out, sooner or later.
Noriko: Hmmm... (glances at watch) Good grief! Look at the time! I've
still got three subjects of homework to do!
Raphael: Huh? Oh... it _is_ a bit late, I guess. I guess that wraps up
this edition of Mystery C&C Theater 1/2, then. (waves to camera) Good night.
Noriko: (waves) Good night.
End part four
I wonder if these'll ever show up on the list... part one of this
series hasn't even come up yet (grumble...)
---
Raphael See