Draxon's Review Corner Presents
An In-House Production
Ranma 1/2: A Demon's Delight
Chapter One: Food and Fists
Theme Song: Goo Goo Dolls 'A Boy Named Goo' Track 1 - Long Way Down


         Sounds of Ranma and Mr. Saotome practicing penetrated the kitchen of 
the Tendo Dojo. Akane looked to her left, where Kasumi was working on 
breakfast.  She turned back to her skillet, which was now hissing loudly.  She 
grabbed a spatula and flipped the western style pancake over.
	"Why cant I get this right?"  She asked nobody in particular as she grabbed a 
bottle of maple syrup and poured it into the skillet.  The hissing sound 
flared up, and the syrup began oozing around and into the half batter, half 
burned pancake.
	"Akane, maybe it would be better if you put the syrup on it after you cooked 
it, and you don't use frying grease, you use butter." Kasumi said as she 
expertly worked beside Akane.
	"Oh yeah!"  Akane said as she brightened up.  She turned to the fridge and 
opened it.  Kasumi looked at Akane, then at the mess in the skillet.  It 
scared her so she turned back to her own work of Chinese style spiced rice.
	Akane pulled the butter from the fridge and quickly retrieved a cup of brown 
sugar.  She dumped the stick of butter and the brown sugar into the skillet, 
which hissed violently.
	"There we go!"  she said as she pulled the skillet off of the stovetop. 
	It was now a dark brown mixture of goo and in the middle of the mass what was 
left of the actual pancake.  She scraped the contents of the skillet into a 
bowl and walked into the living room.  The window provided a clear view of 
Ranma and his father training.  She placed the hissing, still steaming bowl 
onto the breakfast table and looked at Ranma, who was dodging a flurry of 
kicks from Genma.  She smiled. "Raaanma!  I made you breakfast!" 
	Genma leaped at Ranma, throwing himself into a flying sidekick.  Ranma 
immediately looked to see Akane motioning for him to go eat... something.  
Just as he began to think of ways to get out of eating her cooking, Genma's 
heel slammed into his chin.  He thought for a split second of returning the 
shot, but simply let himself fall to the ground.  Akane wouldn't try to feed 
him when he was knocked out...
	Genma slowly shook his head as he looked down at Ranma.  He began walking 
toward the dojo, dragging Ranma behind him.  He lifted the unconscious boy 
with him as he entered, and dropped him on the floor. 
	"I've told him time and time again not to break concentration, even if it's 
for breakfast!"  He shook his head in dissatisfaction, then turned to Akane.  
He looked down at the table to see the... stuff that she had made for Ranma.
"Nice... Maybe the smell of a good, home-cooked breakfast will wake him!" 
Genma said, laughing at Ranma's fate.
Akane smiled as she grabbed the bowl and some chopsticks, and walked to Ranma. 
 He had a nasty bruise on his chin, and as she drew nearer she could make out 
a twitching action on his lip. She put the chopsticks into the mixture, 
quickly realizing they wouldn't work. She then ran into the kitchen and 
retrieved a spoon: something not usually used in the Tendo household, but 
useful in situations like this.
Ranma let out a sigh of pure relief as his senses told him that Akane was 
gone.  He began to sit up when he heard her returning.  He quickly looked for 
places to hide, and found none.  Disappointed, he returned to his original 
position just as Akane walked back into the room, holding a spoon in her left 
hand.  She placed the spoon into the now hardening mixture.  Suddenly, the 
mixture leapt up onto the spoon, Akane shrieked and released it.  The bowl 
began to dissolve.  Ranma bolted up as he felt an ooze creeping onto his left 
foot.
"You made this???"  Ranma asked, obviously frightened as he watched the ooze 
creeping toward him.
"Hey you jerk, I was nice enough to cook for you, the least you could have 
done is not insult me!"  Akane kept a careful watch on her cooking as it 
continued to move. 
Ranma backed off as the ooze crept ever closer to him. "H-how? It's like its 
alive or something!"  It looked like the perfect model of a discolored cell, 
oozing along the floor, leaving no traces. "Don't just stand there, call the 
police. Wait, no! Call the military!  They could use something like this!"
Immediately Akane's eyes flickered, and a blue battle aura began to build 
around her. "What did you say?" She commanded, balling her fist in preparation 
to pound Ranma.  Suddenly her battle aura began to fade.  She looked down to 
see the ooze absorbing the energy.  It began to pulse green with newfound 
energy.
Ranma entered a combat stance-Akane's cooking was nothing to underestimate.  
"Akane, get out of here, I'll deal with this." He began concentrating on 
building chi as Akane quickly complied.  If it had absorbed Akane's aura it 
was going to be powerful.  He saw a lightning fast movement, and the pulsating 
blob of energy launched itself at him.  He instinctively blocked.  The blob 
attached itself to his arm. 
"AAAHHH!!!!  Get it off me!!"  Ranma screamed as it began eating on his skin.  
He began continuously pounding on it, to no effect. He drew back his right 
arm, the one with the blob on it, and smirked.  "Kacchu Tenshin Amaguriken!"  
His arm became a blur as he executed the technique.  The blob remained tightly 
attached to him.  Ranma stopped the rapid punching and looked for a way to get 
the thing off of him as the burning sensation increased.  Looking down the 
hallway, he saw Genma walking towards him.
"Foolish boy!"  Genma yelled as he grabbed Ranma by his non-infected arm and 
threw him toward the carp pond.  Ranma sailed through the air and out of the 
open entrance, loudly complaining about being thrown until he splashed into 
the pond.
"Why'd you do that!"  the now quite female Ranma roared.  Ranma then 
remembered the thing, and looked down at her arm.  A syrupy substance was 
dissolving slowly.  Ranma threw her hand back into the carp pond and shook it 
violently.  The remnants of the not-quite-food dissolved into the water.  
Ranma leaped out of the pond, her wet clothing sticking closely to her body 
accentuating her feminine curves.  She entered the dojo just as Akane ran from 
her hiding place in her room with her backpack.
"Ranma, we have to go NOW!  We start finals today and if were late again both 
of us will fail our first class!"  Ranma sighed as a  backpack slammed into 
her face, knocking her back a step before she managed to get a grip on it and 
slip it on.
"Well at least let me get some hot water before we leave, I'm soaked."
Ranma began walking toward the kitchen.
Akane rushed past Ranma, grabbing her by the back of her shirt and pulling her 
along.  "There's no time.  Besides, what good will hot water do you if your 
still soaked in cold water?"
"Alright! I can walk on my own."  Ranma-chan stated dryly as she set a pace to 
put her ahead of Akane.
Akane upped her pace and began jogging quickly.  "You can be late, but I don't 
intend to fail any of my classes."  She then accelerated to a full sprint.
As Akane began to gain distance, Ranma smirked.  Tomboy or not, Akane wouldn't 
be passing any classes that Ranma failed.  Ranma leapt onto the fence, and 
began to run along it.  She caught up with Akane after a few short seconds and 
kept within a few feet of her.
"Akane, I really need to know what happened back there.  I know you get mad at 
me sometimes, but cooking me food that actually ATTACKS me is beyond even what 
I thought you could do!"
Akane didn't understand either; she had simply followed the box instructions 
for pancakes, and she had ended up messing the whole thing up. Why? Why 
couldn't she manage to do even the simplest of tasks?
"We probably need to call some government agency to clean out the pond too, 
all I need tomorrow is an army of mutated fish trying to swallow me whole..."  
Ranma continued aimlessly, noting all of the possible world disasters that 
could be caused by something so badly cooked as the substance that was now 
settling in the bottom of the carp pond.
Akane did not interrupt Ranma as she continued her insulting spree.  "I was 
nice enough to cook Ranma breakfast, so why can't he just say thanks or 
something?  Why doesn't he ever say anything nice when I try to help him?" the 
thoughts rattled in her head for only a few seconds.
"Because he's a jerk." she answered herself aloud.
"At least I haven't tried to kill you."  Ranma stated, defending against 
Akane's half-hearted insult.  Fuurinkan High School was now clearly visible, 
and Ranma hopped off of the fence to run beside Akane.
Akane looked at the clock on the school.
8:29
The seconds hand was fast approaching the 12.
56..57..58...59...
The bell rang.
Akane dropped from her sprinting speed as she approached the main entrance.  
She gave Ranma a deathly look before entering.  Ranma followed, and the pair 
worked through the halls and entered the classroom together.
"I see that Ranma and Akane are late again... Go stand in the hall."  Akane 
closed her eyes as she turned and brushed past Ranma on her way out the door. 

Ranma slipped through the quickly closing doorway, thinking of how he could 
apologize to Akane, then the thought occurred to him; Akane had cooked the 
disaster that caused them to be late, so what did he have to worry about?  He 
turned and looked at Akane, and paying close attention to her  facial 
expression, saw that he had more to worry about than he could have expected.  
Her expression showed pure anger, but was also on the verge of crying.  Ranma 
hated it when Akane was like this.  He knew that Akane wanted some kind of 
reassurance, but was also ready at a seconds notice to channel everything into 
pure anger should he say anything.  The tomboy.  Cant decide whether to act 
like a guy or a girl. Ranma slumped onto the floor and stared at the wall in 
front of her.  She thought of saying something, anything to break the silence, 
then she looked at Akane,  who didn't seem to be in a talking mood.  Ranma 
realized that she had a long time to sit next to Akane, and say nothing...
[...]

Ranma sat on the ground at lunchtime.  He was slumped back, the backpack 
sitting to his left had no food in it.
"I'm going to starve to death..."  Ranma said meekly as images of Kasumi's 
prepared lunches invaded his thoughts, causing his stomach to growl.  He saw 
Akane walking in his direction.  She seemed depressed, but not as badly as she 
had been earlier.  She tossed her backpack next to Ranma's and sat down beside 
him.
"How did your exams go?"  She asked plainly.
"Fine.  I had a little trouble on the English final but the history exam was 
easy."  Ranma looked around for any source of food available as he answered 
Akane's question.
"I failed English and Algebra."  She said as she closed her eyes and rested 
against the wall.
"What?  How?  You're better than me at English!"  Ranma immediately regained 
his energy at this news.
"Don't worry about it."  She said, her eyes still closed.
"Come on, just tell me what happened and I'll stop bugging you."  Ranma's tone 
made it sound like a reward.
Akane drew a deep breath. "Because YOU had me so stressed I couldn't 
concentrate well enough to pass the test!"  She opened her eyes, and shot 
Ranma a glare that caused him to jerk away quickly on instinct.
"Wait a second Akane, I haven't done anything to make you fail any of your 
classes, and you know why we were late, and we both know it wasn't my fault."  
His tone was accusing.
"Then who's fault was it?"  It was more of a statement than a question; Akane 
knew what Ranma would say.
"Listen, I didn't cook that goo this morning, so stop trying to make 
everything sound like it was my fault, okay?"
That was all Akane was going to take.  Ranma had not even accepted any 
responsibility for what had happened.  Worse yet, he blamed everything on her? 
 Akane stood.
"Where ya' goin?"

"You JERK!"  Akane drew her fist and punched at Ranma, who expertly dodged the 
shot.  He somersaulted forward and performed a handspring, placing him back on 
his feet in a few short seconds.
"What was th..a..t..." Ranma's face paled, and he became very afraid as he 
looked at Akane.  Her battle aura was quickly gaining size and intensity.  
What he was worried about was the fact that Akane seemed to be harnessing some 
of it between her palms.  This was bad.  Akane could be bad for your health 
any day, but if she was actually learning to harness chi...
"Listen Akane, you wouldn't, I mean you couldn't-wait a sec what am I saying?  
This is Akane I'm talking about..."  Akane lost her control over the 
concentrated chi ball, causing it to spread along her aura, which was slowly 
fading.  She suddenly collapsed forward, being kept from hitting the ground 
only by Ranma, who caught her and gently sat her down next to her backpack.  
She was disoriented, obviously from her attempt to use a chi blast.
"Are you gonna be okay?"  Ranma asked, looking into her eyes.
"Go away."  Akane's tone was flat.
"What?"
"I said GO AWAY!"  Akane crossed her arms over her knees and used them as a 
head rest as Ranma grabbed his backpack.  He silently slid it on, and walked 
away without another word.  He noticed that since Akane's outburst, the 
student population of Fuurinkan had migrated to the other side of the school.
At the corner of the school, Happosai watched intently as Ranma walked away 
from Akane.  He had been preparing to raid the women's locker room but now had 
a better plan.  Soon he would have as many panties as he could hope for, and 
he would get them from Akane...
[...]  

Akane walked out of the front entrance of Fuurinkan High School, still 
partially depressed, and fully angry at Ranma for making her fail two of her 
classes in the first semester.  As she walked out of the front gate she felt 
something pounce on her shoulder.
"Why hello there Akane."  Happosai said as he sat on Akane's shoulder.
"What... do you want?"  Akane was not in the mood to put up with Happosai's 
pervertedness.  She continued walking along as he replied.
"I noticed that Ranma seems to be giving you a hard time..."
"And this is something new? He is a jerk!"
Happosai smiled, everything was flowing smoothly.  "I take it you must be very 
mad at him..."
"Of course I'm mad at him!  What do you care anyway?"  Akane was now 
deflecting some of her excess anger at Happosai.
Perfect.  Happosai put on a very serious face.  "I also saw you nearly 
successfully harness a chi attack..."

Happosai suddenly became evil.  "Do you want to get him back for all he has 
done to you?  Always insulting you, always making you less than you should 
be..."
"I can't.  There is nothing I can do to him."  Akane drooped her head a little 
as she listened to Happosai's words...
"Tell me one thing Akane, has he ever tried to teach you any of his 
techniques?"
"No... he must think I'm not ready for them-"
Happosai interrupted Akane, she had responded exactly as he had hoped.  "THAT 
is where he is wrong.  I will teach you,  I know that you can handle the 
techniques of the Anything-Goes School of Martial Arts."
Akane lifted her head and snapped it to the side to get a look at Happosai.  
"Really?  I couldn't thank you enough!"
"First I will teach you a technique that should suit you particularly well, 
but first I want you to do something for me..."
Akane's eyes narrowed.  She knew that this was too good to be true.  The old 
pervert had something he wanted from her, and it wasn't hard to guess as to 
what that could be. "What?"
"Why Akane, your going to take me shopping!"  He laughed insanely  "Take a 
left, three blocks down!"
[...]

"How did I get myself into this?"  Akane said as Happosai loaded more, and 
more, and even more women's underwear into a shopping cart.  When it was 
halfway full he dove into it, becoming one with the panties, immersing himself 
in silky style.  He disappeared, and seconds later his head burst out of the 
sea of underwear.  "Akane,  I can't thank you enough!"  He leaped out and ran 
for more racks, this time the bra department.
"Look at all the little dearies!  Which ones to take?"  Happosai looked across 
the wide selection of bras before him.  He grabbed about ten and turned, 
looking for Akane.  He saw a woman staring at him.  She was about 5'7", with 
black hair.  Her dark brown eyes gazed into Happosai, who stepped back against 
the wall.
"I was going to get that."  She said, with an ominous tone in her voice.
"No!  It's mine!"  Happosai said, drawing the bras closer to him.
"Give me that bra!"  The woman reached for the mass of bras in Happosai's 
possession.
"Sorry lady but I must protect the dearies at all costs!"  Happosai laughed as 
he leaped around the woman in a blur of speed, expertly placing his hands on 
points known to paralyze any female.  He leaped off of her, now carrying one 
more bra and another set of panties.  "What a haul, what a haul!"  
The woman reached down on her shirt to her chest and poked, confirming that 
her bra had been stolen in less than 1.2 seconds.  She turned and ran after 
the two foot pervert.  "Give me back my braaaaaaaa!" A woman several feet in 
front of her turned just in time to be knocked aside, into a display case 
which fell over, starting a chain reaction.
"Get us outta here, Akane!"  Happosai commanded as he continued to run, the 
woman was gaining on him when he leaped into his shopping cart.  Men poured to 
the women's section to see the destruction as several displays fell over, 
spewing clothes and underwear through the air.  Cheers abounded from the male 
population until their wives began digging themselves out of the clothes and 
shooting them evil looks.
"Come back here with my bras... both of them!" The woman thundered just before 
tripping over a newly exposed clothing rack.  She fell forward as the old man 
hopped into a shopping cart being pushed by a teenage girl.  She began to 
recover and stand.
Happosai grinned as he tossed a pair of silky green panties at the woman.  
"You might want these back, I accidentally snatched them too!"  He laughed, 
falling back into the sea of panties as Akane stopped at the register.  The 
woman behind the counter looked at her and quickly tossed her a receipt.  "Get 
him out of here!  Those are on the house!"
"Thanks!"  Akane said quickly as she pushed the cart toward the exit as 
quickly as she could.
The woman felt sick as she looked at the panties that she, only a moment 
before, had been wearing.  She sighed as she fell over, unconscious.


[...]

Akane sat on a bench at a small park as Happosai examined his loot.
"Isn't this the part where you start teaching me techniques?"  She was quite 
bored of watching him put underwear and bras over his head as he had done for 
the past half hour.
"Of course, of course my dear Akane."  Happosai laughed joyfully as he tossed 
panties and bras off of him.  He leapt out of the shopping cart and walked to 
a large oak tree.
"Founding School of Anything-Goes Martial Arts final attack... SUGOIKEN!"  He 
drew his right fist back as a battle aura began to build around it, he thrust 
his fist at the base of the tree, hitting it only lightly.  The battle aura  
created a field of blue in front of the tree, which slowly moved through it. 
After a few seconds it reached the other side of the tree, where it 
dissipated.
"I can really hurt someone with-"  She was interrupted as the tree suddenly 
began to shake violently.  A massive wave of pure force slammed through it, 
ripping it apart. First the bark was shredded from the surface, then the 
insides seemed to disintegrate from the pure force of the attack.  Happosai 
laughed as it began to rain sawdust.
"Now, are you glad you took me on our little shopping spree?"  Happosai 
chuckled.  Akane was staring at the piles of dust that covered  the ground for 
nearly twenty yards in all directions.
"I can't do that."  Akane said, beginning to come out of her state of 
amazement.
"You can my dear Akane... and you will."
Akane looked at her hands, then at Happosai.  "That's not what I mean.  If I 
get mad at Ranma and use that I would-"
"Don't worry deary!  This attack can't kill anyone, it wont even hurt that 
much, just enough to make Ranma think twice about what he says and does... The 
full effect cannot effect a human being."
Akane clenched her fist, and examined it as she spoke.  "How long will it take 
me to learn it?  I never was any good at special techniques."
"Sugoiken guaranteed in three hours or less.  Come on, we have to find a quiet 
place for you to learn the technique.
[...]

Happosai sat on his new throne of panties as Akane warmed up in front of him.  
It was a great sight, and Happosai enjoyed every moment of it, albeit quietly. 
 When Akane was done she stood in front of the cart, waiting.
"Good, good...  Now it is time for you to learn the Sugoiken technique.  Are 
you prepared?"  He was now puffing on a pipe that he had produced from his 
shirt.
"Yes!"  Akane was eager to get the training over with quickly-there were still 
two days in the first semester and she wanted to get a lot of sleep after the 
tests.
"There are several versions of the Sugoiken Technique," Happosai began,  "The 
one I demonstrated earlier is fueled by raw chi energy.  I have decided which 
version to teach you, and it should suit you appropriately."
"...And that is?"
"A version an old friend of mine termed "Hell's Fist".  It uses anger as it's 
primary energy, something you can use to your advantage from now on."
Akane watched Happosai intently as he explained the technique. "When you 
become angry, rather than building an aura, you simply channel all of the 
energy into one of your fists, and when you punch, release the energy before, 
or just as you strike your opponent.  The effects are tremendous.  Now, 
attempt the technique!"
Akane thought of anything she thought might make her angry; nothing seemed to 
work.  She was simply too excited about learning the technique to concentrate 
on Ranma.
"Not good enough.  Here, let me give you some motivation!"  Happosai jumped 
toward Akane, and was sure to grab at her as he did so.  He flipped back to 
his original position, before dodging a furious punch.  "Concentrate!  Channel 
all of the anger to your hand with your mind!"  He leapt up as Akane snap 
kicked at him, and performed a handspring off of her foot.  He brushed over 
her head and kicked off of her back.
Akane turned to see Happosai land gracefully on the ground in front of her.  
"You pervert!  You call this training?"  She punched straight for his head, 
but was stopped by a carefully placed pressure point attack.  Akane's right 
arm fell limp and began to dangle at her side.
"Never blindly attack an opponent.  You should have seen that block before I 
thought of using it."
"You jerk!  I can't move my arm!"  Akane  grabbed her right arm with her left 
and shook it.
"If I were a real opponent you might not have an arm anymore.  Improve or else 
you will not be able to perform any techniques! Attack!"
Time passed, with Akane continually attacking Happosai, and Happosai 
continually making Akane look like a fool.  After a few hours, Akane collapsed 
onto the ground, panting wildly.
Happosai flipped off of a tree and landed on Akane's head.  "I can't believe 
it.  During that entire time you could not execute the technique once."  
Happosai waited for Akane to get up, she did not even attempt to stand.  He 
hopped off of her and shook his head as he thought of how to teach her the 
technique.  He noticed an eerie blue glow coming from behind him.
Akane drew her fist back as she channeled all of her energy into one punch, 
bolts of pure chi energy arced excitedly around her as her battle aura was 
finally harnessed into her fist.
Happosai smiled as Akane thrust her fist forward.  "Now, release the energy!" 
he commanded at her during half punch.  She released all of her 
frustrations-her anger-into the action just before she would contact.  
Happosai ducked and ran under her arm as a shockwave of pure chi energy tore a 
path of destruction through the forest behind him.
Akane looked at her left fist, which still pulsed with a dying bluish glow.  
"I... I did it."
Happosai leapt back to his shopping cart of underwear.  "Of course you did, I 
was teaching you.  I have to go find a place to put my collection, I'll be 
back soon.  What a haul, what a haul   a-hahaHahAha!!!" The cart began rolling 
down a nearby hill as Happosai ran off with his payment of underwear.
[...] 

Akane approached the doorstep of the dojo and looked around.  Everything 
seemed normal, considering it was nearly 11:30 at night.  She opened the door, 
and walked to the back of the dojo, where anyone would be had they stayed up 
waiting on her.  She saw nobody, and walked up the stairs to her room.  It was 
dark, so she quickly flipped on the light.  She pulled off her sweaty clothes 
and tossed them into a clothes hamper. She was tired and dirty from the 
training; a fact she would have to take care of the next day.  She unfastened 
her bra and tossed it in the hamper, then looked in her closet and retrieved 
her yellow pajamas.  She slipped them on and collapsed onto her bed.  She was 
tired and sore, but one thing seemed odd to her...
It felt good.