Subject: [C&C] Bitter End, Part One
From: raphael@asu.edu
Date: 4/4/1997, 12:53 AM
To: Fan FictionML

(scene: a darkened room. Lights slowly come on to reveal a cluttered, 
messy dorm room with a small TV and VCR in the front. Sitting on the worn 
couch is a somewhat nerdy Chinese male just about to leave his teens and 
a cute, brown-haired girl with notepad and pen in lap. A bowl of popcorn 
sits next to the male; a steaming mug of hot chocolate sits on the coffee 
table in front of the girl)

Raphael: Hello. Welcome to Mystery C&C Theater 1/2. I'm Raphael See, and 
sitting next to me is--

Noriko: Noriko Hirauchi.  How do you do?

Raphael: Tonight we're going to be looking at--

Noriko: (interrupts) This morning. 

Raphael: Huh?

Noriko: (pointing at her watch) It's only 8:30 in the morning. So, it's 
not "tonight"; it's "this morning".

Raphael: (objecting) But no one says "this morning" on shows like this! 
That sounds goofy!

Noriko: (shrugging) Hey, I just thought I'd point it out. Technically, 
"tonight" isn't correct.

Raphael: (grumbling) Stickler. (normal voice) Anyway, tonight--

Noriko: This morning--

Raphael: (gives Noriko a dirty look) *Ahem* _This morning_ we're going 
to be looking at a fanfic by Zen titled "Bitter End." Because of the 
length of this work, we'll be doing this in installments, thirty or so 
pages at a time. Otherwise, I'll never get any work done.

Noriko: Like you get any work done anyway. When's the last time you 
worked in finishing up "Scoop"?

Raphael: (irritated) You wanna do this or not? (our host ignores a dirty 
look from the diminuitive editor-in-chief and pushes "play" on the 
remote. Numbers count down to the fic.)

10...9...8...7...6...5...4...3...2...

-------
Irae brevis furor est.  Anger is a brief madness.

This is so because anger is an intense, hot flame that consumes its fuel 
quickly, leaving only cold ash behind.

But for some, anger is a breeder reactor - the more it burns, the more it 
feeds itself, until the heat builds and critical mass is reached...
-------

Noriko: That was a nice beginning, giving a hint of what's in store for 
the reader without over-telegraphing it. 

Raphael: Yeah, while lines like "WARNING! LOTS OF VIOLENCE AND NASTY 
STUFF COMING UP" do the job as well, I think they're a bit too blatant, 
and sometimes even take away from the fic's full effect.

-------

Ranma 1/2 - The Bitter End

Fanfiction by Zen

Based on characters and situations created by Takahashi Rumiko Ranma 1/2 
and characters copyright Shogakukan, Kitty Animation Circle, and 
Takahashi Rumiko. This story copyright 1996 - James A Bateman

<snip>

"How about... P-chan?"  He choked on the last word.

"P-chan?"  The girl's eyes lit up.  "Yes!  That's perfect.  Thank you so 
very much!"

Slowly, the visitor got up to leave.  "I'm sorry.  I have... I have to 
go. Take good care of P-chan."

"Thank you!  I will!"

She smiled at him again as he left.  That same childlike smile - that 
same vacant smile.

-------

Raphael: Oooh. Obviously, _something's_ happened to Akane here, but we 
have no idea just as to what. I like it. 

Noriko: (nods) I hope it isn't something too terrible...

-------

As Ranma watched, the sun kissed the horizon, throwing the dividing line 
between earth and sky into sharp relief.  Gold ran through flame to the 
blood red of hot coals as the sun sank beyond the edge of the world.  The 
once bright sky grew dark, shifting from blue into indigo and violet to 
deepest black.  As the sun's last rays faded into the darkness, the stars 
began to appear, like diamonds on a velvet backdrop.

-------

Noriko: (sighs) That's a gorgeous bit of imagery Zen-san put in there...

Raphael: (harumphs) It's just a sunset, for crying out loud. Happens 
every day.

Noriko: (annoyed) Don't you have any sense of romance? Or has engineering 
sapped you of all creativity and humanity altogether? It was a good 
scene, admit it!

Raphael: All right, all right. The scene _was_ good, I'll have to admit. 
I just think that you're making a big deal outta nothing. And besides, at 
least I'm not a wishy-washy _journalist_!

Noriko: (indignant) Hey!

-------

Ranma sat in the Ucchan, the plate of okonomiyaki in front of him 
untouched.  That in itself was unusual.  The somber aire that hung over 
him was even moreso.

-------

Noriko: I believe that should read "more so."

Raphael: Now who's being unromantic here?

Noriko: Baka! (throws some well-aimed popcorn at her partner) Zen-san 
asked for typos, and I'm just looking for them. It's not my fault I'm 
the only one doing her job here.

Raphael: Hey! Whaddya mean by that?? And I hope you pick up that 
popcorn after we're done!

------

Finally, Ukyou couldn't take the silence anymore.  She told Konatsu to 
watch the grill, and trotted over to where Ranma was sitting.  Sadly, 
Konatsu watched her go.  He could guess what was coming - Ukyou had given 
him the self same speech just a couple of weeks ago.  It still hurt.

------

Noriko: "Self same speech?" What's that?

Raphael: (grumbles)

-----

"Ukyou... you're my best friend - maybe the only real 'friend' that I've 
got.  If... if I had never met Akane; if I didn't love her..."

If.  Akane.  If not for her...  She squashed that line of thought.  That 
was the sure path to madness.  She nodded at Ranma, more to silence him 
than anything else.  She did not think that she could bear to hear him 
actually *say* that her dreams would have come true, if only he had never 
met Akane...

-----

Raphael: (sniffing the air) I think I smell an Ukyou-bias nearby...

Noriko: (wipes a tear) Be fair! When you think about it, Ukyou's 
the only one that really had any sort of chance at beating Akane in the 
Ranma-race. Ranma always considered Shampoo more of an annoyance than a 
friend, and the others...? (a second tear rolls down her cheek) 
And now, after all this time, Ukyou has to face the truth... <sniff> 
(Raphael soundlessly offers Noriko a box of Kleenex, which she readily 
accepts)

-----

After a time, the tears stopped, and Ukyou was able to regain some of her 
composure.  "I'm sorry..." she sniffed.

"No, I'm sorry Ucchan.  I..." he looked at her earnestly.  "I don't want 
to hurt you...  It's just that Akane and me...  It's just like fate, you 
know?  I don't know how to explain it really..."

-----

Raphael: Uh-oh. When Zen uses _that_ argument to advance the case for 
Ranma and Akane, you know trouble's in the works. Right?

Noriko: <sniff> (blows nose) <honk>

-----

"Love seldom makes sense, Ran-chan," she sniffled.  "Just take my word 
for it, okay?  You don't have to explain anything."  She wiped at her 
eyes while she tried to find the right words.  "But you have to know that 
I still love you, Ran-chan, and I always will.  If you ever need 
anything... if you ever *want* anything, I'll be here."

Ranma looked embarrassed.  "Ahhh..." he stammered.  "No... No, not that I 
can think of..."

----

Noriko: I'm not sure Ranma's response here naturally follows Ukyou's 
offer. I mean, if she had asked, "Is there anything I can do for you?" 
then Ranma's answer would make sense. But here, he's kinda putting the 
cart before the horse. 

Raphael: (sardonically) So how would _you_ rephrase that?

Noriko: (flustered) I don't know, maybe Ranma saying something like, 
"Well... there was something...but..." You know?

Raphael: Zen's sounded fine to me. 

Noriko: Hey, I'm just trying to help out here!

-----

Ranma was reminded of one of the reasons that Nabiki made him so 
nervous.  She was so much like a cat.  Predatory, but subtle - inclined 
to play with her victims before making the kill.  Elegant, and utterly 
self assured - with that feline aire of superiority that so effectively 
put her in control of any situation.

-----

Noriko: You know, that's just about right, too.

Raphael: Huh?

Noriko: I had always wondered what bothered me so much about that girl, 
and Zen-san has perfectly crystallized and summarized my thoughts. By the 
way, I think that should be "air" in the last sentence.

Raphael: (smirks) You sound like you know Nabiki personally.

Noriko: (gives a pointed look) Remember where I go to school? (Raphael 
bigsweats)

-----

Akane's dress was cut along similar lines to Nabiki's, but was a pure 
white so bright that it almost hurt Ranma to look at it.  She glowed like 
an angel, and the lace accents on the bodice and sleeves of the dress 
just enhanced the illusion.  As the ceremony got underway, Ranma found 
himself staring at Akane, his eyes drawn to her like a moth to the candle 
flame.

-----

Raphael: Within the Candle Flame....

Noriko: <bap> Stop it! You're ruining the moment here...

-----

"If there be any here present who know of good and just cause that these 
two should not be joined in the bond of Holy Matrimony, let them speak 
now, or forever hold their peace."

-----

(Noriko and Raphael immediately tense, holding their breaths)

-----

Ranma's breath caught in his throat.  God, but she was beautiful.  Her 
short, dark hair framed an elfin face dominated by brown eyes that he 
found hypnotic in their glowing intensity.  "I... I do," he managed to 
say at last.

"And do you, Tendou Akane, take this man to be your husband - to the 
exclusion of all others - to have and to hold, for better or worse, in 
sickness and in health, so long as you both shall live?"

"I do," she said, her voice holding only the slightest of tremors.

-----

(Raphael and Noriko give a long exhale in relief)

Noriko: Whew. That was close. (Raphael nods in agreement)

-----

Hesitantly, Ranma lifted the veil covering his wife's face, and leaned 
forward to brush her lips with his.  The kiss deepened as he felt her 
arms go around him, and then it was just the two of them; the rest of the 
world fading into nothingness.  Finally, they broke the kiss, and each 
stood, staring into the other's eyes, lost in their depths.

It was done.  After all the fights, after all the heartache, after all of 
the near misses and false starts, Ranma and Akane Saotome were finally 
married.

-----

Noriko: (starry-eyed sigh) I just _love_ a good wedding. And that was 
_so_ romantic! Kudos to you, Zen-san.

Raphael: (suspicious) I dunno... I'm starting to worry a bit here. When 
too many good things happen at once, something really bad comes out of it 
eventually. 

Noriko: Pessimist! How could something as beautiful as this go wrong?

Raphael: I just don't know about this...

-----

Kodachi had been stiffly formal - her expression oscillating between 
wistful longing when she looked at Ranma and tightly controlled hostility 
when she looked at Akane.  Yuka and Sayuri were both giggling like 
schoolgirls, sappy grins on their faces.  Akane asked what it was that 
amused them so, and, blushing, Sayuri whispered something in her ear.  
Akane turned bright red.

-----

Raphael: <snicker>

Noriko: (confused) What were they talking about? (Raphael leans over and 
whispers into her ear. Noriko's eyes grow wide in disbelief, and turns 
red after a moment.)

Raphael: (smugly) That's what people sometimes do when they're married, 
after all.

-----

Carefully, Nodoka set the bundle down in front of her, and began 
unwrapping it.  A collective gasp went up as she withdrew the contents.  
The katana was a work of art, from the long lacquered sheath that 
protected the razor sharp steel blade, to the tsuba that bore the Saotome 
crest, and the carefully wrapped handle; it was an elegant weapon from a 
more civilised age.

-----

Raphael: Aw, geez. I'll bet it's not as clumsy or random as a blaster, 
too. (notices Noriko shivering) What's wrong? Is the air on too high?

Noriko: (regaining control of herself) I don't know. I just suddenly got 
the feeling that something was suddenly very, very wrong here...

-----

Nodoka smiled.  "I know you will, Akane.  My son is in good hands."

Akane blushed, and looked back down at the blade in her hands.  "I guess 
I'd better start learning how to use this properly, then."

Nodoka laughed.  "In time, Akane-chan... in time."

-----

Raphael: (shudders) I think I felt a cold foreshadow pass over me...

Noriko: You felt it, too?

-----

With a scream, Akane lashed out, sending her bed mate flying halfway 
across the room, to crash into the table.  Akane drew the comforter 
around her as she turned to face the molester.

Ranma sat up groggily amidst the remains of the table, and the pitcher of 
water that had been sitting on the tray.  Shaking her head to clear it, 
Ranma looked up toward the bed.  Her usual cry of "What didja do *that* 
for?" died in her throat as she caught sight of Akane in the bed, wrapped 
only in the bedclothes.

"Yaaaaaaaah!" Ranma screamed and scuttled back to flatten herself against 
the wall.  She stared at Akane, a look of pure terror on her face.  As it 
dawned on her that she was also naked, Ranma could feel her face reddening.

-----

Raphael: Hee hee hee!

Noriko: Hey, it's not that funny, you know. They're married and on their 
honeymoon, and they're already fighting!

Raphael: Well, I guess you're right, but Ranma's reaction was just _too_ 
funny. C'mon, admit it! (Raphael spies the faintest hint of a grin on 
Noriko's face) Aha!

Noriko: Okay, so it _was_ a bit amusing. But still, it's a little sad 
that after all this, Akane still acts so defensively against him.

-----

That had gone on for a while, and then they had... they had... Ranma's 
eyes grew as wide as saucers, and her blush deepened. They had...  "Oh, my."

-----

Raphael: Sunnovagun. So they _did_ do it, after all. (receives a timely 
@bap from his partner) Ow!

Noriko: Of _course_ they did, baka! Insensitive men. Hmph. 

Raphael: .....

-----

Akane's memory had returned at about the same time, and she was turning 
very interesting shades of purple.  With an inarticulate cry of rage, 
Akane leapt towards Ranma, grabbing one of the chairs that had been 
knocked over by Ranma's abrupt departure from the bed. Akane raised the 
chair over her head, ready to bring it down on Ranma, who threw up her 
arms to block, closed her eyes, and waited for the impact.

-----

Raphael: (slightly slack-jawed) Okay, I see what you mean. That _is_ sad. 

-----

The blow never landed.  After several seconds, Ranma peeked up at Akane 
to see her standing, chair upraised, with a shocked expression on her 
face.  After deciding that Akane was not going to hit her just yet, Ranma 
looked on the floor where Akane was staring.  There, glinting in the 
morning light, was a plain, gold ring.  Ranma looked down at her hand and 
it hit her - her finger was now at least three sizes too small for the 
ring to fit.  It must have slipped off during her retreat.

-----

(Noriko and Raphael shiver slightly again)

Noriko: Cold foreshadow?

Raphael: You got it. 

-----

"But what about you?  You could have married your 'cute' fiancee, you know."

It was Ranma's turn to look guilty.  "I did." she said softly.  "You're 
the only one that I ever wanted to marry.  I just wish... that I could 
have been..."

-----

Raphael: So Ranma's into polygamy, eh? That sly...

Noriko: (slightly exasperated) I'm sure Zen-san didn't mean it like that! 
But he's right; that reply of Ranma's is rather ambiguous. Maybe Zen-san 
could fix that eventually. 

-----

Akane leaned forward to hug the speechless red-head, and their lips met 
in a kiss that seemed to go on forever.  After a moment, Ranma realized 
that they were both still naked, that Akane was awfully close, and she 
smelled good.  She could feel her own body responding to Akane's 
proximity, and she started turning red all over again.

Akane noticed too, but she just smiled.  "C'mon.  Let's get you into a 
hot bath."

-----

Noriko: Hey! How come you're covering my eyes??

Raphael: You're too young to be seeing this stuff.

Noriko: Oh, yeah? And what about you, when you went to that link last 
year on the internet and saw pictmmmmph!!

Raphael: (now covering Noriko's mouth instead) All right, that's enough, 
thank you very much! (mutters) Besides, I was only curious that one time, 
it's not like I ever went back or anything...

-----

In the evenings, there were long, luxurious soaks in the hot springs. 
Ranma silently sent his thanks to whatever forces, human or Kami, were 
responsible for sending them to a hot springs resort.  That had been a 
stroke of genius.

-----

Raphael: I'll bet I can guess as to what "force" sent them to a hot 
springs...

-----

Ranma returned the bow and watched in astonishment as the man turned and 
returned to the inn.  Looking to Akane, he noted that she was similarly 
confused.  He passed the envelope to her, and watched, amused, as she 
realized how much was in it.

Enlightenment came like a bolt of lightning to the pair of them.  In near 
perfect unison, they cried out, "Nabiki!"  They were still laughing to 
themselves when the car came to take them home.

-----

Raphael: So, did I call it or did I call it?

Noriko: (rolls her eyes) It's not like it was really hard to figure it 
out. By the way, that was a very nice humorous touch there, Zen-san. 

-----

Two weeks later, Ranma started to teach a children's class in the dojo.  
Ranma was surprised to find that he actually enjoyed teaching, and that 
he was pretty good at it.  There were occasional snags - at times his 
class would disrupt Akane's studies and she would take him to task for 
it.  Ranma tried to be understanding, but he *did* wish that she would 
wait until the class was over before she started yelling at him.  As 
things settled into a routine, Ranma was feeling pretty good about life 
for a change.

-----

Noriko: (grins) Sounds like they're having a good life now, ne?

Raphael: _Too_ good. You know, whenever you go up, you just raise your 
potential energy higher and higher. The ball's got to go downhill 
sometime, and I don't think it's gonna be pretty. 

Noriko: Hmmm....

-----

Ranma started to sweat.  Every time the house emptied, it meant only one 
thing.  Akane was Fixing Dinner.  Ranma didn't know whether it was cause 
or effect, and didn't much care.  Whether the others had fled because 
Akane was cooking, or Akane was cooking because the others were gone, the 
results were just as toxic.  Ranma's only hope was the latter - if Ranma 
could beat Akane to the kitchen, then there was still hope for an edible 
meal.

-----

Raphael: Oh no... it _had_ to come down to Akane's cooking, didn't it? I 
knew it, I knew it...

Noriko: (uneasily) Maybe they can both learn something from this...

Raphael: I doubt it, knowing Zen...

-----

It wasn't that Ranma didn't appreciate Akane's attempts to cook - he knew 
how rare her free time was, and how hard she tried.  That was, he 
reflected, a large part of the problem.  Akane tried too hard.  She 
expected to be able to produce gourmet meals from the start - it never 
occurred to her that cooking was like the Art - that skill came only with 
patience, and with practice.

Akane in the kitchen was Akane in a hurry.  She had no time to waste on 
unimportant things, like labels or measurements.  If ingredients had the 
same general colour and/or consistency, they were considered 
interchangeable.  But as flexible as the "Anything Goes" style was, it 
had no place in the kitchen.

-----

Raphael: (muffled, since he's half-ducking, waiting for the explosion to 
come) That makes sense... Why couldn't this be the Flambe Akane?

Noriko: (rather weakly) Maybe she is?

-----

It wasn't tea.  Indeed, it was almost, but not quite entirely unlike tea. 

-----

Raphael: (even more weakly): Share and enjoy... (Noriko chooses to ignore 
him, the humor lost in the tension)

-----

Ranma's eyes had gone wide, and he leaned out over the edge again, as his 
stomach tried to void an already empty tank.  After a few dry heaves, 
Ranma spit out what he could of the bile in the back of his throat and 
turned once more to his wife.  She was not smiling.

-----

Noriko: (half covering her eyes) Ewwww. I _didn't_ need to see or hear that.

Raphael: (fearfully) And it's only gonna get worse...

-----

"Is that so?  I go to all this trouble, just to cook you a special 
dinner, and *this* is the response that I get?"  This time, there was no 
trace of humour in her voice.  "Stupid, insensitive macho jerk!"

Ranma's eyes widened, and even as his voice bypassed his brain to issue 
the automatic retort, his mind was screaming - No!  Not this! Not again!  
Please, can't this stop?  But it was too late - the damage was done as he 
heard himself drop back into well known territory with, "Uncute tomboy!  
You *know* you can't cook!"

-----

Noriko: (sadly) Some things will never change.

Raphael: (also sadly) Indeed.

-----

Watching Ranma leave, Tofu shook his head.  Ranma was probably right - 
there was nothing to it.  Akane had certainly given him worse; but the 
need for that had passed, hadn't it?  Something about this just felt 
wrong somehow.  With a shrug, Tofu put it out of his mind and went to see 
about his next patient.

-----

Raphael: I think something bodes ill from that last paragraph. (shivers) 
Still, this isn't terribly abnormal for Akane--yet.

Noriko: Actually, I think this is. I don't remember Akane being one to 
hold grudges overnight, particularly ones this severe. Something about 
this doesn't seem quite right to me. Something's changed, or something. 

-----

Akane was mad about something, that much was certain.  But what could it 
be?  Shampoo hadn't put in an appearance in weeks, Kodachi had been 
keeping to herself as well, and she had no reason to be mad about Ucchan 
anymore.  Ranma couldn't even remember having stuck his foot in his mouth 
within the past few days.  What had he done this time?

-----

Noriko: See? Things like this, I can't quite see Akane doing. While it's 
true that Akane _does_ have a rather quick  and violent temper (shakes her 
head slightly at the memory of the "incident" in the journalism room), 
she usually almost always has _some_ empirical evidence to be angry at. 
Long-term grudges just aren't her style.

Raphael: "Empirical evidence?" You're starting to sound like an inhuman, 
noncreative engineer. 

Noriko: .....

-----

Nabiki, however, was not so sure that it was that simple.  Yes, Akane had 
spent a lot of the past two years angry - that was nothing new. Akane had 
always been an angry child.  But now that anger was taking on a new depth 
- an intensity that Nabiki found disturbing.

-----

Raphael: There you go, Noriko. An admission from the author that this 
isn't normal behavior for Akane. Happy?

Noriko: Well, fine, but if Akane has suddenly been acting so different, 
there's got to be a cause for it. But what is it?

Raphael: Maybe Zen'll show us? Maybe some subtle machinations on 
Cologne's part? 

-----

"My son, I would speak with you..."

Ranma froze.  He did not remember much about his life before he left 
home, but one thing stood out in his memory.  Whenever his mother adopted 
that overly formal tone, unpleasantness followed.  It was a sure 
indicator that she was NOT happy.

-----

Raphael: Whoa. And how good of a memory does Ranma have? I seem to 
remember from the anime that Genma once traded Ranma away as an _infant_. 
So his mom had chewed him out more than once even before then?

Noriko: Oh, so you're treating anime as canon now? You know that they 
never stick to the original story. And besides, since when were _you_ an 
authority on the Ranmaverse?

Raphael: Hey, I just thought I'd bring it up. Why should I let you make 
all the good comments?

-----

Ranma's shoulders sagged.  It *was* his fault.  Everybody knew it - had 
known it.  Everybody but him.  He had been thoughtless, rude and cruel - 
to the person that he loved the most.  He *had* been turning into his 
father.  Ranma shuddered at the thought, and hung his head in shame.

-----

Noriko: Awww. And the worst part is that's not even true. 

Raphael: I _told_ you things were going to start going downhill.

Noriko: Well, you don't have to act so pleased about it! Ranma's unhappy 
here!

-----

It was hard, so hard, but Ranma kept his word.  There were times when he 
wanted to tear his hair and scream at the injustice of it all, but at 
times like those, his mother's words would replay in his memory - "It 
would pain me to see you to make the same errors that your father has..." 
- and Ranma would choke back his angry replies, and let Akane rant on, 
unchallenged.  In the end, it didn't really matter, he thought to 
himself.  If he deserved it or not, if she was mad enough, he was in for 
a pounding.

-----

Noriko: This is minor, but I'd probably rephrase that last sentence as 
"Whether or not he deserved it, if she was mad enough..." It emphasizes 
more on the injustness of Akane's actions. Which, by the way, Zen-san 
still hasn't explained. 

Raphael: Just be patient. I'm sure Zen'll show through...

-----

But if she were honest with herself, she knew that it was far too late 
for that... and he had gotten under her skin so very easily!  He was an 
integral component of her life - she could no more imagine being without 
him than she could turn herself inside out.  He had become a part of her 
now, and a very important part.  In a very real sense, what she did to 
Ranma, she did to herself - and so the darkness continued to feed.

-----

Raphael: There. See what I told you? Zen's explanation. Does that satisfy 
you?

Noriko: Honestly, it doesn't. While Zen-san's explanation of Ranma 
letting his emotional guard down when they fight is plausible, Akane 
clearly started to change _before_ Ranma had the talk with his mother and 
made a promise to change. We still don't really know what provoked that 
change, just what's continuing to feed it. Personally, that explanation 
doesn't do it for me.

Raphael: Picky, picky, picky. Akane always did have a problem with 
anger, so why not have it get worse? (the tape in the VCR stops) Well, 
that's the first segment of Bitter End. What did you think?

Noriko: Well, it _was_ really well written, and I _loved_ the sweet 
romantic scenes with Ranma and Akane at the marriage and just after. 
Zen-san does such a good job conveying emotions! But I really hope 
Zen-san goes more into depth about what triggered Akane's change. 

Raphael: Same here, at least the well-written part, I mean.

Noriko: That's because you're a heartless engineer with no sense of romance.

Raphael: Do you mind? Anyway, I enjoyed this part greatly, but I'm 
starting to get a bit worried here. I hope some resolution comes out of 
this conflict.

Noriko: Speaking of resolution to conflicts, when're you finally going to 
finish up "Scoop," anyhow? I'm getting really tired of waiting.

Raphael: Errr... (nervously puts one hand behind head)

Noriko: Well, you _do_ have a general outline of how you're going to end 
it, right??

Raphael: Errrr... (begins to bigsweat)

Noriko: Do you have _ANY_ ideas at all??

Raphael: Errrrrrrrr... (continues to bigsweat a LOT)

Noriko: (starting to grow livid) WHAT?? You mean you went through all 
that trouble to put me out of the "Informer," make Kuno become obsessed 
with me, and you never thought about how you would get me OUT OF IT??

Raphael: Eh heh heh heh heh... (gets ready to bolt)

Noriko: Ohhhhh.... YOU!! (leaps at Raphael, fountain pen in hand. Raphael 
yelps and leaps off the couch, running. Noriko chases Raphael around the 
tiny room in anger)

Raphael: (as camera fades out) And that's <YIPE!> the end of <AIIIEE> 
Mystery C&C Theater 1/2 <OW! OW! OW!>! We'll see you <AAAUGH> next time! 
(lights fade to black)

Noriko: (muffled and off-camera, meanacing) We'll see about that...

END C&C PART ONE


    Heh... my first attempt at MST-esque commentary! Hope you enjoyed! 
(and if you haven't already, go back and read Bitter End for crying out 
loud! Is _good_ story!)

---
Raphael See

"C'mon, Noriko, lemme outta the closet now..."