For those of you who've read V.1 but not the later incarnations, you're in
for a shock.

The lead-in is longer (and more detailed), Ryouga's mind doesn't abruptly
change during his conversation with Ukyou, and the ending is different.
Slightly.

Comments? Please! Especially in comparison to V.1.

With all that aside, enjoy! And may you know true love, requited or otherwise.


=====
Closing the Chapter


	Ryouga stared at the unopened envelope in his hand. Finely written and
meticulously detailed calligraphy on the back ironically told him the whole
story in stark clarity.
	'From Saotome Ranma and Tendo Akane'.
	With trembling hands he carefully opened the envelope and read the card inside.

	Afterwards, he replaced the card into the envelope, closed it slowly, and
set it down on his bed. He turned around and picked up his backpack, which
he slung over his back. "One month," he finally said. "One month to clear my
mind. One month to be alone with my thoughts." He took the torn photo-wallet
that lay on his dresser, illuminated by a lamp which he turned off before he
left his room. He stared at it for a moment before placing it in his pocket.
	As he crossed through the front doorway of his house, he laughed to himself
softly. "Here I go again," he said, "running away from my pain. Heh,
although I do prefer the term, 'going on a journey to clear my mind'."
	He wasn't sure where he was going, but then again, he never was.

	A car passed him by as he walked along the highway going to...wherever it
was going, it was away from the city. Its headlights shone on him before it
passed him by.
	A thought, a single name flashed in his mind, and it left him standing
still on the side of the road. Silently, he bowed his head, weeping.
	Akane.

	In the darkness of the tunnel, he walked on.
	Blinking back tears, he tightly grasped the straps of his backpack, nails
digging into his palm...He clutched onto the physical pain, deperately using
it to block out the emotional pain he could not bear...
	Blood stained his nails and dripped onto the road.

	Emerging from the tunnel, fresh air and sunlight greeted him, in contrast
to the dark sky and city lights he had left behind.
	Amid the rice paddies and fields, he continued onward, head bowed.
	Birds chirped, leaves rustled in the summer breeze, and the sun shone on a
particularly beautiful day.

	Shoes dusty from the dirt road he found himself on, he strove to walk on...
	In the shade of an old tree, near the edge of a waterfall, Ryouga took off
his backpack and dropped it on the ground. He choked back a sob, and fell to
his knees, weeping bitterly.
	He desperately searched his mind for the reason...for the reason why he
loved Akane so much...He clutched at everything he could think of...her
face...her eyes...her kindness...her courage...the way she spoke...the way
she walked...the way she laughed...the way she understood him when no one
else did...
	...In an effort to rip it out of his soul, to amputate it, to end the pain...
	...But he could not put a name to his love. He could not cut it off from
himself, because it WAS himself, and to name his love would cheapen
it...would limit it to the point of farce, of cliche...
	
	In the shade of an old tree, near the edge of a waterfall, Ryouga found the
elusive feeling that poets sought after in order to capture in words and set
syllables, the emotion that songs attempted to convey in notes and lyrics...
	He had found it, and he was at a loss for words.

	The setting sun and the rising moon were witness to a young man, camped on
a cliff overlooking the cold northern sea, waves crashing onto the rocks
below. He was silent, tracing the horizon with his eyes...He stared into the
sun, and stretched out his hand, as if to touch it...He shook his head as he
drew his hand back, and he turned back...

	Having passed through another tunnel (or was it the same one?) and having
walked for...an indeterminate period, he found himself crossing forests and
bamboo groves, and finally...
	He was staring into the lone mountain that broke the horizon.
	Fuji-san.

	It has been said that a man could find enlightenment on the top of this
mountain, and so, Ryouga strove to climb it.
	The summer weather had been kind, and Ryouga found he had less to contend
with the cold of the snows covering the peak and more with the loose
handholds and footholds the melting snows had created.

	He reached the peak.
	And, in the loneliness at the top of Mt. Fuji, he saw the land in all its
splendor, all its glory, awash in the light of the full moon. And instead of
the magnitude of it all showing him the insignificance of himself, he
felt...alive. More alive than he had ever felt in his entire life.
	And he realized the meaning of his pain.
	For long moments, he stood, arms outstretched, on the top of Fuji-san,
staring at the sky, at the deep all-encompassing blueness...
	He wept silently as he did this, and he realized that the pain meant what
he thought it did, all along...
	"The measure of one's love," he said to himself, repeating something he had
heard but could never really understand before, "is in the sorrow of its
passing. If one is afraid of sorrow, one can never fully love..."
	In the span of a moment, as long as the full height of the moon to the
rising of the sun, Ryouga drank in the bittersweetness of his pain...and
remembered...
		
---
	...The photo wallet, torn completely into two pieces by Ranma, had slipped
from his grasp as he climbed up the sheer face of the cliff.
	One side with Akari's picture, and the other...Akane.
	It had slipped, and both pieces were falling...
	He had time to save one. He knew that. With the conviction of a dying man,
he reached out and grabbed the one he had chosen...
---

	In the light of the morning sun, Ryouga stared at his torn photo wallet. At
the picture of Akari.
	"I knew," said Ryouga to himself. "I knew all along. I chose Akari because
I knew. I chose Akari because I had already realized it...and I was only
lying to myself because I was..."
	Ryouga shut his eyes as he forced the words out. "...Because I was afraid
to let go. And yet I knew..." He shook his head violently, trying to rid his
mind of the thought..
	"No." That last was a whisper, which grew into a shout, a scream erupting
from within his chest..."NO! I CANNOT BELIEVE IT! IT'S NOT TRUE! IT'S A LIE!!!"
	With those words, Ryouga abandoned his enlightenment, the truth he had
discovered on the lonely peak of Fuji-san...

	Ryouga made his way down the slope and started back to Nerima, wherever
that was...
	I will not let go, vowed Ryouga. I will not succumb to the...the
nothingness...to the lack of feeling that lurks at the edge of my pain...the
numbness that threatens to engulf me if I let go. I will not let go. I will not.

	Ryouga never believed that the eyes were the windows of the soul, because
of the mere fact that no one he met could read his emotions. Not Ranma, not
his father, not Kasumi, not Mr. Tendou, not even Akane. Everyone seemed
oblivious to how he felt, and the place seemed blanketed by the happiness of
the occasion.
	Ryouga found this oppressive.
	Strangely enough, he was the first guest to arrive, and he waited inside
the living room. His kimono felt unusually stifling, and he refused the
green tea offered to him.
	Why did I even come here? thought Ryouga. Why did I even bother to dignify
this occasion by coming here?
	He heard Kasumi's voice from somewhere upstairs..."Oh, Akane, you look
beautiful in your kimono!"
	"Oh, you're just saying that..."
	Akane...
	She is the reason. She is the reason for everything.

	The wedding was to be held in the Tendou dojo, in the traditional Shinto
manner. Akane had not quite arrived yet, and Ranma shifted around, looking
uncomfortable. Ryouga had to admit to himself, Ranma looked almost...regal
in his formal kimono, although he still managed to retain that boyish
arrogance in his expression.
	Shampoo was obviously restraining herself from disrupting the ceremonies
like last time. Ryouga wasn't quite sure about the details, only that she
was bound by some code of honor not to interfere. She bit her lower lip as
she looked at Ranma, and sighed. Mousse put a hand to hers, looked at her
and shook his head slowly, and she abruptly turned to look at him, appearing
to strike...But she simply sighed and turned away, although she clasped
Mousse's hand all the more tightly.
	Kodachi's face was unreadable. Actually, Ryouga thought, it seemed
unnaturally calm...calm perhaps to the point of..madness? Had she snapped?
Or had she finally come to her senses? Whatever it that was keeping her to
her seat was working, and she showed as little sign as Shampoo showed as to
disrupting the wedding.
	Kuno. Now here was something strange. He had challenged Ranma to some duel
to the death, which Ranma promptly won. Ranma then spared his life, which
left Kuno indebted by honor to Ranma. Ranma told him never to bother Akane
again. Apparently, Kuno WAS a man of his word, after all, and kept his
promise. Kuno was now muttering something about his pig-tailed goddess,
whom, Ryouga thought, he would never, EVER, see again.
	And then his eyes turned to Ukyou.
	Her smile, her eyes...they spoke volumes to Ryouga, the way he never
thought his own eyes would. It was love that shone in her eyes, pure and
unconditional love...all the more tragic because it was unrequited, like his
own...

	Ranma will never know how much you love him, Ukyou. He doesn't realize now,
and he never will. He thinks he does, because you've told him about it, and
still he chose Akane. But you see...your words could never possibly convey
how deeply you feel for him. The only way he would possibly be able to know
is if he loved you, and he doesn't...at least, not the way you want, not the
way he should...

	He suddenly saw something in Ukyou's eyes that...disturbed him. It was an
emotion, no, a decision, that he feared. She somehow seemed...at
peace...because of whatever it was, and yet he knew - he vowed - he would
never make that decision. And yet, he envied her, he envied the peace she
had found...

	And then Akane arrived.
	For a moment, the world around Ryouga stopped, and all he was aware of was
her...
	She was beautiful...breathtaking in her wedding kimono...Her face was
alight with happiness, complemented by the jewels she wore, partly hidden by
the veil...her hair arranged as such...Her eyes...Her eyes sparkled
with...life. That was the only word Ryouga could find to describe it. Life.
Akane was fully alive, and her joy brought mixed tears into Ryouga's eyes,
tears of happiness for Akane mixed with bitter tears for himself...

	Through a haze of detachment, Ryouga witnessed the ceremony as it unfolded
around him. From outside the void within himself, he saw and felt every
detail...the shy smile on Akane's face as she looked at Ranma...the rustle
of cloth as Ranma shifted around nervously in his kimono...the bittersweet
tears welling up in Ukyou's eyes...
	He heard the priest intone the traditional prayers...
	He saw the texture of the bread as it was being shared by Akane and
Ranma...the awkwardness of Ranma's chewing and the delicateness of Akane's...
	He saw Ranma nearly spill his sake in his nervousness...he saw Akane's
hidden smile as she pretended not to notice while keeping her eyes to the
floor...
	He felt the apprentice hand the cup of sake over to him, and tasted the
quality of the rice wine on his tongue...he felt the burn of the sake as it
passed down his throat...
	All these details would be lost from his memory forever, all that
transpired would be as a blur to him, and he would not be able to recall a
single detail in retrospect...simply because he had detached himself, in an
effort to keep his sanity...

	The haze shattered in a moment of intense clarity.
	Ranma was kissing Akane.
	Ryouga bit his lip as he tried to shut the image out...he tasted blood...
	He reached into his pocket and tightly clasped the half of the photo wallet
that contained Akari's photo...
	...his fingers traced the torn edge, and he was suddenly reminded of his
decision...of the half that he had left behind...

	Ryouga absently picked at his food, hardly noticing how much Akane and
Ranma's parents must have spent on it. He was listening to Mr. Tendo's
attempted speech for the newlyweds, which was interspersed with sobs every
two words. Mr. Saotome was helping him out and was patting his friend on the
back. His arm was around Mrs. Saotome, who was beaming in pride for her son
and wiping tears from the corners of her eyes.
	He tried to drown these sounds out in sake and his own thoughts.

	I should be happy. I mean, I'm happy with Akari. She cares for me deeply
and I care for her...She gives me this warm feeling inside whenever I think
of her. I should be content. I think I am content...but is contentment what
I want?
	It's not your fault, Akari...I'm just a fool. I know how much you care for
me, and I truly am happy that you do. I truly am...happy...
	He looked up from his cup and saw Akane's smiling face, radiant as she
gazed into her husband's eyes...he read the joy in her eyes and it pierced
him to the core...

	Ryouga choked back the tears as he screamed inside himself...
	DAMN IT!!! I love her! I'm supposed to feel happy for her, I'm supposed to
share in her happiness.....BUT I CAN'T! WHY?! Why can't I find it inside my
self to do so? Am I truly that shallow? Is my love for her real? DO I REALLY
LOVE HER?!
	Ryouga suddenly laughed bitterly to himself, the edge of his laughter
pointing inward at himself...
	Maybe I really am unworthy for her, after all. I mean, I can't even be
happy for her, so what's there that I have that can possibly justify my love
for her?
	"Hey."
	He found himself looking into Ukyou's eyes. She was smiling, although her
eyes expressed an emotion other than happiness. And that....that thing was
still in her eyes...
	"Ukyou?"
	She turned away for a moment, and said in a voice loud enough for everyone
to hear, "Boy, this sake's strong. I think I need some fresh air to clear my
head." She turned back to him and asked him, "Do you want to come along? I
could sure use your company..."

	Ryouga and Ukyou sat on the porch, facing the fish pond. Long moments of
silence passed between both of them, as sounds of laughter came from inside
the dojo. 
	Finally, Ryouga asked Ukyou, "Are you happy for Ranma?"
	"Huh? Oh. Yes, I am...No, not exactly. I AM happy for him because he's
happy, and yet..."
	"And yet you feel a bittersweet sadness, because you know it's not because
he loves you, but because he loves Akane."
	For a long moment, Ukyou was silent. Ryouga immediately regretted his
words, and said, "Um...I'm sorry, I didn't mean to..."
	"It...it's okay, Ryouga. You're right. But then again, who am I to stop him
from having his happiness with another person?"
	"You're the one who loves him, that's who you are!"
	"THAT DOESN'T MATTER ANYMORE, DOES IT?!" snapped Ukyou. Her expression
softened, though, and she added, "I'm sorry...it's just that..."
	"I understand."
	"..It's just that...if he knew how much I loved him, and he still chose
her...who am I to tell him otherwise?"
	"You've...you've accepted this." It was not a question.
	"Yes. What can I do but to accept? It's what is, now."
	"But...aren't you afraid that once you forget him, you'll find that
whatever it was that made your senses so much clearer will be gone? That
you'd go numb?"
	"No."
	"But..."
	"I'm not afraid of that, Ryouga. Do you want to know why?"
	Ryouga nodded slowly.
	Ukyou sighed, and said, "It's because I know - I KNOW - that I will never
forget him, no matter what. Not even if I end up with someone else. The
thought of him will always linger somewhere in the back of my mind, and it
will always be there."
	At Ryouga's silent assent, she continued. "It's painful to think about, I
know. But you see, that's what makes everything so clear. That the meaning
of my pain is that I am alive, and that I am truly capable of loving. I know
that no one can accuse me of being shallow, because now I know I have truly
felt love for another. Whether or not it was returned really makes no
difference. All that matters is that I have loved." After a while, she asked
him, "What about you, Ryouga?"
	"To a certain extent, I feel the way you feel. That the pain is what tells
me I am alive, that having loved is what matters, not whether it was
returned or not...but," he added, "I can't let go. I can't."
	"Why?"
	"Because I'm afraid, Ukyou."
	"I was too."
	"I know that."
	"Let her go, Ryouga. If you love Akane, let her go. If you don't, do you
truly love her?"
	Ryouga scowled at this and stood up, pointing a finger at Ukyou. "Don't you
DARE tell me whether I love Akane or not! Dont you DARE make me prove my
love for her! You don't know anything!"
	"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have..."
	But Ryouga would have none of it. "I'M the one who defended her when she
needed me, I'M the one who watched over her sleep when she ran away from
home, I'M the one who left when I knew I wasn't noble enough for her, and
I'M the one who spent countless nights crying myself to sleep thinking about
her! So don't you DARE tell me what I should and should not do to prove that
I love her!"
	Ukyou simply shook her head, eyes not leaving the pond. "But you know what
I say is true."
	"I...." She's right, Ryouga realized. "I...I know."
	Ukyou suddenly stared at Ryouga, wide-eyed. "R...Ryouga..."
	"I..." Ryouga took out his photo wallet. He handed it to Ukyou. "I realize
now. I had already chosen, long ago. I knew it for a long time, and I knew
it when I chose to save Akari's photo instead of Akane's. I was just lying
to myself the whole time, thinking I would win her over from Ranma...But I'm
afraid to let go, Ukyou."
	Ukyou handed the photo wallet back to Ryouga, and softly said, "Ryouga..."
	Ryouga chuckled to himself and continued, "You know, I've been thinking of
getting rid of this photo wallet. You know, getting a new one to put Akari's
photo in?"
	He traced the torn edge with his finger. "It reminds me too much of Akane,
which really isn't fair to Akari. But I can't seem to bring myself to get
rid of it, because I'm afraid that if I do, I'd be letting go of a part of
myself that I don't want to let go of, that I'd be ending a part of my life
that I don't want to end."
	"So don't. That part of you will always be there, Ryouga. But the part of
your life has to end, Ryouga. It already has ended. For Akane. Why insist on
prolonging a chapter that no one else is a part of anymore?"
	"But..."
	"Excuse me," said Kasumi as she arrived from the dojo, "but Ranma and Akane
want you to say a few words, Ryouga."
	Ukyou looked at Ryouga, then said, "He'll be right there," to Kasumi, then
turned back to Ryouga. "Well?"
	"I...I'll be there in a minute, Kasumi." 
	After Kasumi had left, Ukyou turned to Ryouga and said, "Well, they're
waiting for us."
	"I can't, Ukyou. You know that..."
	"No, I don't Ryouga...And if you have any love for Akane at all...you'll at
least say something nice to her and Ranma."
	Ryouga simply stared down at the ground, caught in indecision...
	"Well? Are you coming or not?" 
	


	"And so, Ranma," said Ryouga to the appreciative audience, "even though we
always haven't been on the best of terms for that long time we've known each
other, I wish you and Akane a good life together."
	"Hey, thanks man! You're not all bad after all!" said Ranma, smiling at him
and kissing Akane on the cheek.
	"To your life together!" said Ukyou as she raised her cup in a toast. The
others immediately followed suit, adding their own toasts."
	Shampoo said as she raised her own cup, "To Ranma and Akane."
	"To brides and brides-to-be!" This from Mousse, which drew a questioning
but amused glance from Shampoo.
	"To me!" This drew uncomfortable glances at Kodachi, who started drinking
like there was no tomorrow.
	"To Akane Tendou, may you be blessed by the gods." Kuno raised his own cup.
"You will be needing it, married to that fiend..." he added under his breath.
	"To the honeymoon!" At this, the entire group punched Happousai through the
roof.
	Genma and Nodoka said in unison as they looked at each other, "To love and
marriage."
	Soun sobbed, "To my late wife's spirit." Everyone nodded, took a moment of
silence, then renewed their toasts to the happy couple.
	Everyone turned to face Ryouga expectantly...

	Ryouga looked at Ukyou...
	Why can't you understand? he thought. Don't you see how painful for me this
is? Don't you see how much pride I have to swallow to do this? To say this
thing that is not coming from my heart at all?
	Ukyou turned to Ryouga and looked directly into his eyes. She simply nodded
at him, but the look in her eyes told him she understood his pain, and that
it showed in his own...
	His eyes mirrored his soul.
	For one, painful moment, Ryouga shut his eyes...He fought it back, but he
felt it within himself...
	With a raise of his glass and a conviction in his voice that was stronger
than anything he had felt in his life, he turned to Ranma and Akane, and
spoke...the emotion, the decision, that translated into the painful words
that somehow came from the bottom of his heart...the words that would end
this chapter of his life forever...

	"So that we may we all share in it always...To your happiness."

	
	
	TimeRunner, February 24, 1997