Somewhere in the pacific northwest...

A dirty white honda pulled into the parking lot of a rather nondescript
college dorm. While hondas are very nice little cars when it comes to
reliability, gas milage, and service, very little can be said about how a
honda looks. They're, well, generic. A honda is quite possibly the most
generic looking car on the face of the earth. They change the design of
every honda line yearly, just to make sure that they stay generic. This
honda, aside from being rather dirty and bearing many battle scars from
previous agurments with stationary objects, could have been any other car
that you might see on the road today. Four seconds later, while the driver
was grasping for her keys, which she had dropped on the floor, the car is
struck by lightning. Seven times. This small display of the fury of nature
was enough to alert the driver to the fact that perhaps something might be
awry. Unfortunately, supernature and preturnature, not to be outdone but
mundane old nature, decided that they should include their own
contributions. 

And so, after the pool of boiling concrete had swallowed the the vehicle
whole, and the phantoms of an obscure group of long extinct hominids had
performed a crude but strangely beautiful ceremonial hunt dance upon the
still bubbling earth, it was established by the watching student body that
there would be a lottery later that evening to determine who got her
parking space. 

Later on, in the same place, only about ten yards away and three floors
up...

Eimii staggered into the room, her clothes torn and charred and, in many
places, still smoking. Not bothering to close the door, as (with very few
exceptions) few people were willing to risk being in her presence for more
than a few moments, she plopped onto the lower unit of a set of bunk beds
positioned against the right wall of the room. Still, she had enough
presence of mind to avoid the numerous good luck charms that hung and
dangled from the upper sections of the support posts of the bed. 

Just before she passed into unconsciuosness, a little three inch tall,
super deformed characture of Mihrna, the Goddess of Messengers, popped
into existence above her head. It wagged a finger repremandingly at Eimii
as it spoke. "Ah ah ah, no you don't. You are _not_ going into a coma
before you post." It alighted on Eimii's head and proceeded to pull on her
hair until Eimii laboriously lifted her right arm in a pitiful attempt to
brush it away. 

"C'mon. You'll feel better after you post it. Then, maybe you can get to
work on the _other_ two fics that you're writing." It lectured, peering
into Eimii's lidded eyes.

"Feel bett`r...l`k _hell_ it will..." <groan> "The'l _kill_ me if they
find out that i started anuther `un." Eimii tried to roll over, deciding
that her back was probably more severely burned. 

"If you don't post it, I'll call your professors and tell them that you've
been spending your time in their classes writing instead of paying
attention..." The little messenger spell intoned darkly. 

This seemed to rouse a little bit of worry in the battered figure on the
bed, as she began to fumble around in the remains of her jacket. After a
few moments, she extracted what appeared to be a completely untouched
computer disk. She peered at it suspiciously for a second. "Hmm...If i
di'n know better...an i don't...i'd say that they left this alone for a
reas'n..."

"Really, you're soo paranoid." Prodded the ersatz goddess on her head. "I
mean, what can _they_ do to you?"

"Well, there is Nezumi-san with his prod..."

"Oh, right! You and I both know that you enjoy that. Now send it."

"But i don' wanna..."

"Maybe they'll give you extra credit assignments when they find out you've
been..."

Eimii's hand snaked down towards the grayish, ancient, 'laptop' computer
that was sitting on the floor beside the beds. It could really only be
considered a laptop computer if the people who designed it happened to
have laps that you could land aircraft on. After a couple tries, she
inserted the disk into a slot on the side, while the messenger spell
opened the appropriate menus. 

"Now... all you have to do is hit enter."

Eimii peered sceptically at the little spell before replying. "I still
thin th's iz a bad idea..."

"Maybe being a teacher's assistant would get you to pay attention..."

Eimii groaned one last time before stabbing the <enter> key. "At least,
y'll be here when the flames come." 

"Nope! Sorry, my alloted mana is used up now. You're on your own. Bai
Bai!" With that, the message spell puffed off in a tiny cloud of smoke. 

Eimii growled for a second before leaning over the edge of the bed and
typing a few words onto the screen.

[This is a crossover fic between Futaba-kun Change and Ranma 1/2.]
[This was previously posted on FFML2, so stop now if you've      ]
[already seen it and don't particularly want to see it again.    ]
[Information about Futaba-kun Change can usually be found at Dov ]
[Sherman's Futaba-kun Change Homepage, at                        ]  
[http://otakuworld.com/dov/fkc/                                  ]
[All characters are the property of whomever created them,       ]
[as far as i can tell, so please don't sue me. I need the money  ]
[for medical insurance. Any C&C, flames, thermonuclear devices,  ]
[rescue personnel that you feel fit to send my way will be gladly]
[recieved. Well, on with theIHJLKHROS HJHH 3U598Y9Y%(*&(*_#@&@#$(]

At this point, Eimii had slid off the bed and landed face first on her
computer, accidentially striking the <enter> key again before passing out
when the not-quite-so-portable screen on her laptop decided to close on
her head. 


-)[~](-


- CHANGES -

Chapter one: Strange breed...




"Misaki-chan!"

Misaki, who was siting in the shade of a medium sized tree in the courtyard
outside of Furinkan Senior High School, looked up to see a boy that
appeared to be about her age approaching her at a brisk jog. He was
reasonably handsome, with an honest face and black hair that was long
enough to be thick without looking scruffy, and was wearing a regular boy's
uniform, which was presently slightly damp around the shoulders. 

"Ah! Shimeru-kun!" Misaki waved for Futaba to join her as she adjusted
her position in the shade to give him some room. "So, you found
somewhere to change?"

Futaba nodded quickly as he sat down by her. "Yeah, there was an
equipment storage room around behind the school. It wasn't that hard to
find."

"That's good. But I would think that by now you'd have the sense to change
_before_ you put on your other uniform." Misaki replied quizzically,
fingering the damp spots on Futaba's uniform.

Futaba, who was searching through his pack for something, paused to look
somewhat embarrassed. "Yeah, but I'm not sure I want to know what would
have happened to me if anyone had caught me as a guy while I was still
wearing my girl's uniform. I mean, what if Ms. Ninomiya had been around?"
Futaba shuddered involuntarily at the thought of the school disciplinarian
discovering him in such a position.

Misaki nodded emphatically in agreement. "That would have been a
disaster. Remember what she did to those guys in home room?"

*****

As it happened, out of all the teachers that Futaba and Misaki could have
had as their homeroom teacher, they had been assigned to one Ms. Ninomiya
Hinako. The entire class, with the exception of Futaba-chan and Misaki, had
been highly skeptical and derisive when the diminutive instructor had
bounced into the room that morning. Futaba-chan and Misaki, having been in a
beginning chemistry class instructed by one Ms. Koujiro Yuki, who was in
reality only slightly older than Ms. Ninomiya appeared to be, were
extremely wary of their new teacher. Ms. Koujiro, despite being a little
girl, had also been a rather deranged mad scientist.

Their fears had been confirmed when, after trying futily to bring order to
her first class of incoming sophomores, Ms. Ninomiya had become frustrated
and declared that she was teaching a class of delinquents. She had then
proceeded to pull out a 50 yen piece and, holding the coin between her
outstretched fingers, had drawn a circle in the air and pointed the coin at the
class, shouting something to the effect of "happo-gojuuen-satsu." Futaba-chan 
and Misaki had had the sense to move to the back of the class as the ritual
began, and so were in a prime position to witness the effects of the attack.
Row upon row of the students in front of them had been reduced to wispy
charactures of their former selves, as yellowish tendrils of light streamed out
of their bodies towards the front of the room. After a few moments the light
had ceased and Futaba-chan and Misaki, being among the few spared, had
looked up to see a now _very_ adult looking Ms. Ninomiya, her new form
straining the confines of the yellow tube dress that her former form had
practically been swimming in. 

Ms. Ninomiya, in a rather husky voice, had instructed the remaining mobile
students to prop the "delinquents" up in their desks before she continued the
lesson. There had been no further disruptions all morning. 

*****

"I wonder how she did that. She changed almost as much as Kurin does."
Misaki mused as she found her bento box and proceeded to eat her lunch.  

"I don't know, but I doubt that it has anything to do with how my family
changes. It looked like she used that coin to steal all the strength from the
other students. They all shriveled up, while she... uhmm... filled out."
Futaba fumbled around inside his bag for a few more seconds before
retrieving his own bento box. As he began eating, he glanced over at
Misaki's lunch in carefully masked disgust. He loved her dearly, and had
suffered through many things for her sake, but he still couldn't fathom how
she could stand eating anything so toxically sweet as all of her cooking was.
Looking at what she had prepared today, he idly wondered how Misaki kept
her teeth from disintegrating after meals, not to mention the fact that she
never seemed to show any evidence of the perpetual sugar high that most
human beings would be in after consuming that many empty calories. 

True to form, Misaki was eating the sticky, syrupy concoction as though it
were perfectly normal. "Still, I can see why your father chose _this_ high
school to send you to. With teachers that can suck the life out of you while
at the same time growing a meter in height and aging more than ten years,
your problem seems almost normal." she thought aloud as she reached for
something that was white and puffy and was making Futaba's teeth hurt just
looking at it. 

Futaba nodded in agreement absently as he thought about the discussion
that he and his father had had that morning, shortly before he had left for
school. Apparently, there had been several deciding factors that had
prompted his parents to enroll him in this particular school, not the least of
which was the fact that Furinkan High School was renowned for having
some of the most bizarre students and faculty in all of Toukyou. It wasn't
the most unusual school in all of Nerima, Tomobiki High having long had an
unshakable hold on that position, but it was close. It was also close to home,
which meant that Futaba wouldn't have such a long commute to school.
This was especially useful in two ways: First, it meant that Futaba wouldn't
have to run as far or dodge as many people when that particular time of the
month rolled around; Second, it meant that Misaki-chan didn't have to push
very hard to get her parents to send her there as well. After all, Furinkan
High was best known for the amount physical violence that occurred in the
area. This was much less disturbing than the reports of severe electrical
hazards or heavy weapons discharge that surrounded some of the other
schools in Nerima. 

There had also been one other reason that Futaba's parents had decided to
send him there. His father had mentioned it as something of an
afterthought, though it had been gnawing at Futaba's mind all morning.... 

*****

"The principal is a relative?"

"Yes, Kunou-kouchou is a distant relative of ours. One of his grandparents
was a Shimeru, so he probably knows about the secret, and he may turn a
blind eye to the fact that one Shimeru Futaba is always absent when the other is
present." Futaba's father answered as he began searching through the closet
for his coat. 

"Does he change as well?" Asked Futaba, intrigued by the prospect of
meeting a relative who's branch of the family had elected to marry outside
of the island that most if the Shimerus called home. 

Futaba's father had a somewhat disturbed look on his face when he turned
to Futaba. "No, the Kunous lost the ability to change two generations ago,
the change genes being diluted by all of the outside blood. Still, this doesn't
mean that they're 'normal' people, just like everyone else." His expression
darkened further as Futaba's father looked directly at Futaba and continued.
"The change genes, though not expressing in the normal fashion, are still
apparently present in the Kunou line. They seem to cause severe chemical
imbalances in the central nervous systems of the Kunou family, making
them extremely susceptible to various types of mental and neurological
disorders. Nearly every member of the Kunou family that has any Shimeru
blood in them has gone insane at some point in their life. This includes
Kunou-kouchou and his children. His daughter, Kunou Kodachi, attends a
girl's school in the area, so you shouldn't have to worry about her much.
Kunou Tatewaki, however, is a senior at Furinkan High. I'd advise you to
keep well away from both him and his father as much as possible..."

*****

*Well, so much for meeting a 'normal' member of the family.* Futaba
sighed mentally as he reached for another piece of fish. As he did so, he felt
Misaki shift beside him, scooting away from his side quickly. He cast her a
questioning glance, but her attention was focused elsewhere. Futaba
followed her startled gaze, turning his head forward again just in time to see
a cute pig-tailed girl barreling towards them at dangerous velocity. Before
Futaba could react further, the girl bounded onto his head, planting her foot
firmly on his forehead, then bounced off of his head and into the
concealing upper branches of the tree. Her second jump sent Futaba's head
whipping back into the tree, raising a painful bump on the back of his skull
and knocking him senseless for several moments. 

When the pretty stars and swirling lights finally resigned themselves to
simply throbbing painfully in the growing lump on the back of his head,
Futaba slowly raised his head to face in the direction from which the girl
had come. There, just stepping from around a building, were two rather
unusual looking people. The first was a brown haired young man dressed in
traditional samurai garb and carrying a bokken. He could probably be
considered drop dead gorgeous, if you were into the classical look. The
second was an attractive girl with long black hair tied into a ponytail. She
didn't seem to be wearing anything but a leotard, and was rapidly twirling a
gymnastic ribbon in her right hand. Then the pair seemed to notice Futaba
and Misaki, and began walking over to them at a brisk pace. 

"That boy looks a lot like Kurin." Observed Misaki, a hint of distaste
entering her voice. 

As he finally cleared away the last of the daze, Futaba had to agree that the
approaching boy did indeed bear a strong resemblance to his cousin's male
form.  At that point, remembered one last bit of information that his
father had imparted to him before hurrying him off to school that morning, 
something that might help explain this little detail. His father had given 
him a rather cursory physical description of the members of the Kunou family 
that he might meet while he was at Furinkan, and judging from the ridiculous 
garb that the approaching pair was wearing, and from the way that that strange
girl had sought cover immediately preceding their arrival, Futaba suspected 
that the boy and girl who were now almost upon them were, more likely than 
not, none other than the Kunou siblings. 

His suspicions were confirmed when, after standing before them
for a moment and surveying the area, the couple deigned to notice them.
Turning to Futaba, his head held high and his eyes averted slightly, the boy
addressed them. 

"You there! Rise and present thyself, for I would speak with thee of
events having transpired but moments ago in what must have assuredly been
in thy presence and thus preserved for mine askance." The boy adjusted his
grip on his bokken subtily, making it abundantly obvious that he was
willing to extract what knowledge he wished by force, if necessairy. "I
would hear from thee the direction in which the most beauteous and
capricious pig-tailed one has departed, and under what geis or artifice
was she influenced that she might have so quickly and utterly disapeared
from the protections and cares of my watchfull eye." 

The girl in the leotard began to giggle, and snaped her head
back and forth so that her ponytale cracked like a whip.  "You've
lost her now Onii-san."  She made her eyes a little wider than was
comfortable for normal humans to look at and scanned the courtyard 
again. "The red witch vanished once more! Again has she danced among
these trees, these buildings, these stones; and called on her magics
by blood and by bone; and a hint of sulfur appeared on the breeze and 
she danced and twirled as it bore her awaaaaaaaay."   

"Woman, wilt thou rave thy madness here in the face of the very 
children of the unwashed mob?!"  The dark haired young man growled at 
the girl.  "Clearly my Pigtailed Goddess has been spirited away, 
but not of her own free will, no, my enemy, my nemisis, the bane
of every honorable student in this school, Saotome Ranma is behind
this outrage!  Too cowardly to face my righteous wrath he dangles the 
avatar of my desire before me, then conceals her. But I, The
captain and Mighty Blue Thunder of Furikan High School Kendo Team
shall yet discover where he has concealed her.  If I must cut down
these trees and disassemble these buildings and even snap the bones
of every unworthy sophomore in this courtyard I will learn where she
has gone and how to follow!"

Before Misaki could formulate a response to that, Futaba quickly leapt to
his feet and, after swaying a bit from some lingering dizziness, bowed low
and began speaking in venerable tones. "We're terribly sorry, honorable
Kunou-senpai, but the one you seek passed us by quickly and without
incident, proceeding in that general direction." Futaba then straightened a
bit and gestured with his right arm somewhat towards the back of the
school. "But, if you proceed with celerity, I have no doubt that you, the
great Blue Thunder of Furinkan High, will still have no trouble catching up
with her."

To this, Kunou nodded sagely, and inclined his head so that he could look
in the direction that Futaba had indicated while still peering at Futaba and
Misaki out of the corner of his eye. "Truly is my goddess swift of feet, like
the graceful fawn, innocent and untameable. Perhaps the Blue Thunder has
been too harsh as yet, in judgement of the uncouth ruffians that have so
recently come to scurry and skulk like vermin through the halls of yon fine
establishment of learning. For even among the mongrel dogs, clawing and
struggling from the throes of adolescence, here is one who would know his
master. But the Blue Thunder must tarry not longer in this place, lest his
prize liberate herself too much from the comfort of his embrace. Good day
to you." At that, Kunou broke into a brisk but dignified stride, not once
sparing a look back at the still slightly bowed Futaba. After a moment,
Kodachi followed, departing with a sniff of disgust in Futaba and Misaki's
general direction. 

After he was sure that they were out of sight around the back of the school,
Futaba relaxed and leaned against the tree, releasing the breath that he had
been holding. Misaki peered at him for a second before speaking. 

"Well, that was rather insulting, to say the least. Who were those two
nutcases?" She asked. 

"The Kunous."

Futaba and Misaki looked up to the branches of the tree, from which the
voice had originated. After a moment, the pig-tailed girl who had bounced
off of Futaba's head earlier jumped down and landed gracefully in front of
them. She was rather small, standing about a head shorter than Futaba, and
her hair had definite red highlights in the bright sun. She was also
insufferably cute, which was only intensified when she put her hand behind
her head in an embarrassed fashion and faced Futaba, looking slightly
towards the ground. 

"Er, thanks for throwing 'em off like that. Sorry 'bout your head." she bit
out, with some difficulty. 

This time it was Futaba's turn to put his hand behind his head, rubbing the
still growing bump that this girl had so recently put there. Turning to look in
the direction that the Kunous had left in, he spoke in a good humored tone.
"Don't worry about it. It doesn't hurt _that_ much, and I sort of knew what
to expect from the Kunous. It's no wonder you were trying to get away."

The girl peered at him and Misaki quizzically for a second before
responding. "Knew what to expect? Don't tell me that they're warning all of
the incoming freshmen about those jerks. I knew Kunou was a pompous
moron, but I didn't think he was a _famous_ pompous moron." Misaki was
also peering at him with some interest.

"Er..." Futaba began, unsure of how much he should say. "It's not that
they're famous. It's just that, well, my father told me about them." 

"Your father knew about them, and he still sent you here?" This came from
Misaki, who was dividing her attention between Futaba and the yet-unnamed
 pigtailed girl. 

"Well...that is..." Futaba mumbled, floundering badly. "The thing is that,
um... They're sort of, ah... my relatives..." He finished lamely, mentally
kicking himself and silently praying that he hadn't just done something
monumentally stupid.

Misaki's eyes widened, realization of Futaba's father's reasoning suddenly
becoming a bit clearer. The pigtailed girl, however, reacted in a rather
different manner. 

"You're joking right? You're really related to those freaks?" The girl rocked
back on her heels, appraising Futaba closely. "Wow. No weird speech
pattern; No funny clothing;" she peered at Futaba's partially opened school
bag, "No weapons, as far as I can tell. You actually seem pretty normal.
Dull, almost. That's amazing. Are you really related to them?"

Futaba and Misaki had momentarily broken into a cold sweat when the girl
had pronounced Futaba "Normal," but Futaba quickly composed himself
and nodded once to the girl. "Yeah. My father told me that they were sort
of weird, and warned me to keep clear of them." Thinking back to some of
what the girl had said, he added, "Exactly how bad _are_ they?"

This apparently being a subject that she knew well, the girl dove in
spiritedly. "The Kunous are some of the most deranged people I've ever
met. All 'a them, including that wacko father of theirs. If Kunou or Kodachi
aren't alternately trying to either 'date' me or kill me, then Kunou-kouchou is
trying to shave my head. It's even worse when they're all trying to do it all at
once. You wouldn't believe some of the things that those nuts have done..."
The girl drove on, rattling off countless bizarre stories of the Kunous'
insanity, oblivious to the odd looks that her tirade was drawing from Futaba
and Misaki. Strangely enough, most of the other students in the area, with
the exception of the few other sophomores that had come out to eat on the
lawn, were completely ignoring the ridiculous tales that the girl was
spouting, as though they had heard it all before. The pigtailed girl herself
was beginning to wind down, returning it seemed to the events that had
occurred earlier that day. "... and then that _jerk_ Kunou came up behind
me and grabbed my chest just as I was dodging Kodachi's ribbon." The
girl's expression darkened, no doubt in remembrance of the amorous
kendoist's actions. "Oooh... I _really_ hate it when he does that. Just once I
wish that _he_ could be the girl so that someone could show _him_ what it's
like..."

Futaba made a strange choking sound this remark, and both he and Misaki
again broke into a cold sweat, but the pigtailed girl didn't seem to notice.
She simply stared off into the distance, an intent look on her face,
apparently deep in thought. Slowly, a smile began to appear on her face.
The smile quickly changed into a wide grin as the idea took hold, a grin of
the truly wicked. "Heh... That's perfect. I can't believe I never thought of it
before..." A low chuckle escaped her lips as she rubbed her hands together
deliberately. 

The bell signaling the end of lunch sounded, and the various students on the
lawn reluctantly began filing back into the school. The noise also startled
the pigtailed girl out of her reverie, causing her to glance up at the clock on
the front hall before grumbling under her breath something about missing
lunch because of a certain pair of infuriating morons. Thinking of the
Kunous had the peculiar effect of causing the grin to return, less malicious
this time, but still disturbing. The girl waved goodbye to Futaba and Misaki
as she ran off towards the main hall of the school, the grin never leaving her
face. Exchanging a worried glance, Futaba and Misaki too prepared to
return to class, all thoughts of the strange girl suddenly replaced in Futaba's
mind by worry over how he was going to explain why he wasn't there for
the morning session, and why Futaba-chan wouldn't be there for the
afternoon session. *Maybe I ought to change back. I really don't think I'm
going to be able to relax for the rest of the day...*

*****

Sunset saw the strange young martial artist, now male, sitting alone in the
Tendou Dojo. Ranma rose to feet and walked across the floor to look
towards the back of the lot that the dojo and house were built upon. *Damn
it, where is she? It's almost dinner time* Rather than sitting down again,
Ranma began to pace back and forth in the dojo. *I hope she remembered
what time I told her to come.* This particular line of thought was
interrupted suddenly by a loud crashing noise emanating from the direction
of the house. Whipping his head around, Ranma could see a small cloud of
dust rising from near the front of the house. *No... she couldn't have. I told
her _specifically_ to come to the dojo.* It was no good. Ranma could only
think of two people that opened doors that way, and Ryouga usually
screamed something about revenge and hell before entering. Before he even
finished the thought Ranma was dashing across the grounds towards the
living room door, a look of dread etched across his features.

As he slid the screen aside, his worst fears were confirmed. There, standing
in the living room and holding a pair of takeout boxes, was Shampoo.
Glaring at said amazon, the narrow slits of her eyes promising pain more
vicious than could possibly be inflicted by the contents of the cooking pan
in her right hand, was Akane.. 

At that moment, Shampoo noticed Ranma and, after setting the boxes
carefully on the table, promptly flung herself at the stunned martial artist.
"Ni hao Ranma! Shampoo bring food to save husband from violent pervert
girl. Shampoo also bring special present that husband ask for." Shampoo
purred as she rubbed up against the flustered Ranma. "Maybe husband take
Shampoo on date now? Leave food for others so they also not have to eat
violent pervert girl's dinner?"

As Ranma struggled to gather his wits and disengage the amorous amazon,
a low growl from Akane's direction drew his attention. He watched in
horror as said girl began to advance on him, the pan she had been holding
previously having been replaced sometime by a large meat tenderizer.
Several thoughts whizzed through Ranma's mind in these moments. Among
them were the notion that, considering how Akane held her weapon, she
was planning to beat  him to a bloody pulp rather than send him through the
roof. Nabiki would probably appreciate that, considering that the need to
replace the front door had probably arisen recently. Akane growled again,
this time the sounds definitely resembling the name 'Ranma.'Just before the
world went black, Ranma had one final notion. *At least if I'm unconscious,
she can't make me eat her food...*

*****

A new day was born in Nerima, and all was good. The sun, un-delinquent
in it's duties, rose at the appointed hour, bringing light and warmth to the
day and waking the wearied minds of the city to an avian chorus in full
celebration of the promise of the day to come. For Kunou Tatewaki, scion
of the House Kunou, the Mighty Blue Thunder of Furinkan High,
undisputed prince of the high school fencing world, this joyous
pronouncement of the morning was an omen; a sign from the gods
themselves that the time of reckoning was nigh. Today, after over a year of
struggle and strife, a decisive blow would be struck in his holy quest against
the Dark Sorcerer Saotome, the most heinous and vile practitioner of the
black arts as ever has blighted the face of the earth. Kunou Tatewaki was
given to seeing omens of this nature. They often precipitated his seemingly
random attacks upon Saotome Ranma, and generally came to naught,
quickly being forgotten in the face of new omens. 

Unfortunately for Kunou Tatewaki, on this day the gods of destiny were
looking upon him with some interest, and had indeed kindly offered such a
sign for those who were receptive. Kunou, however, was too distracted by
his morning meditations at his Tendou Akane and Osage-no-onna shrine to
notice Midorigame being carried off by a cloud of rabid locusts. Still, one
omen is often as good as another, and Kunou Tatewaki's assumptions
_were_ correct, in a sense...

*****

A short time later, at the front of a dead end alley somewhere between
Furinkan High School and the Kunou manor, a short girl in chinese clothes
peered around the corner to scan the street. As her eyes locked upon a tall,
noble figure, striding along confidently and perhaps more than a bit
arrogantly, a wide grin spread across her face. Struggling not to break into
an un-manly giggle in anticipation, Ranma-chan retreated into the alley to
await her prey. 

Kunou Tatewaki strode confidently towards his dominion, his purposeful
gait alerting all that knew him of his intentions. Visions of the sorcerer
Saotome vanquished, and of his two goddesses of beauty and grace cradled
warmly in the protection of his embrace, swam through his mind as he
contemplated the manner by which he would announce his challenge. His 
musings were abruptly cut short when, from somewhere off to his left, an 
enchantingly familiar voice reached in through his psyche and immediately 
overrode all other concerns.

"Oh Kunou daarling..." rang the voice of his beloved.

Turning quickly to his left, Kunou followed the sound of the voice to the
back of a dead end alley, where he saw his cherished Osage-no-onna
beckoning to him seductively, the top of her blouse slightly undone, her
eyes glittering in mystery and amusement. Could it be that his beloved 
pig-tailed goddess had finally broken free of the tyranny of the Sorcerer
Saotome's attentions? His heart swelled with joy at the thought, and Kunou
Tatewaki silently thanked the gods before succumbing the rapture that
coursed through his being. "Come to me, My Goddess!!" cried the great
Blue Thunder, unbridled passion driving him onward as he rushed to gather
the object of his desire into a loving embrace. 

So overcome by the moment was he that Kunou Tatewaki completely
missed the delicate, cloth shod foot that rose swiftly to halt his forward
momentum. After removing her foot from his face, Ranma-chan
maneuvered the still-stunned kendoist farther into the alley. Then, before he
had time to regain what few wits he possessed, Ranma-chan turned to
Kunou and peered deep into his eyes, a small, mysterious smile upon her
lips. 

"My beloved Kunou-sama, for whom I have pined many a night alone in
my bed, I have come to you today with a very special present, If you would
have it." She moved closer to him, batting her eyelashes seductively. When
Kunou opened his mouth to reply, she put a finger to his lips. "But first, I
must ask humbly that my darling close his eyes, as I do not wish the import
of my offering lessened in any way."

Kunou, unable to doubt the innocent beauty before him and anxious to
receive a gift from his goddess, bowed to her and spoke in warm tones.
"Thou needs but ask, oh warmth of my heart, and I would tear down the
eternal heavens with my bare hands. To do such a small thing for my
beloved is a reward in itself." With that, he straightened and closed his eyes,
visions of what reward his goddess might bestow upon him dancing through
his mind.

Seeing this, Ranma-chan backed away from the unaware Kendoist, the
manic grin once again returning to her face. Moving to the side of the alley,
she fumbled around behind a nearby garbage can, never taking her eyes off 
of Kunou, until she located what she was looking for: a full bucket of water. 
Setting this in the center of the alley a few feet away from Kunou, she reached 
into her pocket and retrieved a small red paper envelope.

"Shall I open my eyes, my goddess, so that I may once again bask in the
radiance of thy heavenly beauty?" Kunou asked of the air in front of him,
turning to face the sounds that Ranma-chan had made when she set the
bucket down.

"Not yet, my beloved. My gift is not ready, and I wouldn't stand for
anything but perfection in this glorious moment." Ranma-chan intoned
sweetly. Then, after shaking it to settle the contents at the bottom, 
Ranma-chan tore open the red envelope and emptied the colorless powder into the
bucket of water. Upon contact with the water the powder began to fizz and
pop like an antacid tablet, momentarily threatening to overflow the bucket
before the bubbling subsided. 

"Would that I might gaze upon thy lovely countenance again, my love, and
then escort thee to the Furinkan High School Grounds, that I might defend
thee from the likes of the foul sorcerer Saotome. Prithee, shall I open mine
eyes?" questioned Kunou, again redirecting his sightless gaze towards the
sound of the bubbling and fizzing that he had just heard, his mind grasping
at any clue as to what his beloved might have brought him.

"Soon, dearest. My offering to my knight and protector is nearly complete,
and I would ask that he wait only a few moments more, while I prepare
myself to be seen." Ranma-chan murmured reassuringly as she hefted the
bucket by the handle and swirled the water around a bit to ensure that it was
properly mixed. Then, satisfied that it was ready, she put her other hand on
the bottom edge of the bucket and repositioned herself so that she was
facing Kunou with the bucket in ready splashing position at her side. 

"I fear that I can restrain myself no longer, lest my heart burst from my
chest in anticipation of thy affections. When shall I once again be permitted
to throw open the shutters of mine soul and feast upon the bounty of thy
presence?" Pleaded Kunou, his voice dripping with the longing that he felt. 

"Now, My Darling." Answered Ranma-chan, the bucket in her hands
already beginning it's forward swing. 

As the mighty Blue Thunder opened his eyes, he could swear that he could 
sense something flying towards him. Assuming that it must be his
beloved Osage-no-onna, throwing herself into his embrace, he spread his
arms to welcome her. It was precisely at this moment that he finished
opening his eyes and caught a bucket of cold water full in the face.

As Kunou fell back a step or two, sputtering and wiping water from his
eyes, Ranma-chan surveyed her work, a look of mild surprise momentarily
replacing the malicious smirk on her face. Then, satisfied that all was going
as planned, she bounded off out of the alley towards Furinkan High. 

Despite what people might think, Kunou Tatewaki's mind is normally a very
orderly place. Everything has it's place; every thought is conceived,
processed, warped around each of Kunou Tatewaki's various obsessions
and mental blocks, and carried out, in such a regular and predictable pattern
that, were it not for that particular second to last step in the process, people
would probably consider him a very stable individual. 

This was not the case currently, however. Thoughts were flowing in
decidedly unusual directions, and the world around him seemed to warp
and twist about as his perception of it suddenly became utterly unhinged.
Something had apparently gone horribly wrong somewhere in the
fundamental makeup of Kunou Tatewaki's mind, and he wasn't particularly
enjoying it. One thought managed to surface in the turgid miasma of his
unbound subconscious: *Osage-no-onna. What happened to Osage-no-onna?* 

"Osage-no-onna! To whence hast thou spirited off to, for I am wounded to
mine very soul, and need of your attentions." Kunou cried as he staggered
towards the mouth of the alley. It struck him that his body seemed
adamantly opposed to functioning as it should, and his voice was warped in
his ears to something that he would not have recognized as his own had the
thought behind it not preceded the sound. Leaning on the wall for support,
Kunou attempted to bring his right hand to his throat to feel if it was
damaged in some way. 

Kunou's arm was in accord with the rest of his body, and was rather
reluctant to travel to it's destination via the path which Kunou had chosen.
Thus, it proceeded in a rather jerky fashion up along the front of Kunou's
body. This alerted Kunou to yet another anomalous sensation somewhere in
the vicinity of his chest. There was an obstruction of sorts in that area, and
his arm had brushed roughly past it as it was working it's way towards his
throat. This had triggered such a slew of unfamiliar sensations that he felt
obliged to look down to see what the matter was. 

There appeared to be two rather large and recent additions to his anatomy
in that area. The word 'breasts' floated momentarily to the surface of his
disordered consciousness, though it lingered long enough for Kunou to
resolve that something was definitely wrong with him having breasts. Not
one to take things at face value, Kunou decided to reestablish their
existence. He quickly, or at least as quickly as was possible, unbuttoned his
school dress shirt. Yes, they appeared to be quite real. But why should he
suddenly have breasts? 

Something below the surface tugged at that thought, hinting that there was
something else that would make sense in this sort of situation. Grasping at
anything that made even the most remote amount of sense at this point,
Kunou latched onto that feeling and pulled hard, exerting all of what was
left of his mental facilities. What he came up with was enough to induce
panic even in the warped recesses of his fading consciousness.

Frantically, Kunou fumbled with his hands in order to feel inside of his
pants. On the fourth try he succeeded in getting his left hand into the
waistband of his school pants, and proceeded directly downward from
there. Something was missing there. Something was definitely missing,
though he couldn't summon the focus necessary to remember exactly what
that something was. He did still have a firm grasp upon his previous thought
though, and what he was feeling now confirmed that notion. 

Sinking to her knees at the mouth of the alleyway, four blocks away from
Kunou manor and approximately ten minutes before the beginning of first
period at Furinkan Senior High School, one last lucid thought sparked in
the darkening storm that raged within Kunou's mind. As she pitched
forward into blissful and complete unconsciousness, Kunou-chan was left
with the final revelation: *I am a girl...*


-)[~](-


*What in the world is she doing now?* Mihrna wondered idly as she leaned
up against the door frame and peered into the dorm room that she had been
living in for the last few months. It wasn't anything like the accommodations
that she normally enjoyed in heaven, with only a set of hard bunk beds, two
woefully inadequate closet/dresser units, and a pair of cramped and
cluttered desks, but at least it was far, far away from work. This was not
normally a plus, but since Mihrna really didn't have much of a commute,
and as the company she kept here tended to scare off those annoying
morale office personnel quite quickly, she was willing to endure the lack of
conveniences. Right at the moment though, she was wondering whether or
not those comforter goddesses might not have the right idea. 

This was because her roommate was presently on her hands and knees in
the middle of a large circle of runes and arcane symbols, studiously drawing
on the floor with a piece of bluish-white chalk. The circle encompassed a
large part of the floor and ran up one wall of the room, completely
enclosing the more cluttered of the two desks. 

Mihrna decided that perhaps it would be a good idea to establish exactly
what was going on. "Um, Eimii? What have you done?" She asked,
directing a questioning glance towards the kneeling figure. 

"Hold on a sec... just a little bit more and I'm finished." Eimii muttered, her
gaze never leaving the bizarre designs that she was carefully scrawling on
the floor in front of her. Then, after scrutinizing the runes closely and
deeming them worthy, she drug the chalk along below them, completing the
innermost circle of the design. 

"Now then," she began, standing and facing Mihrna while brushing chalk
dust off of her hands, "what does it look like I've done? I've put up a
personalized warding circle: This way, whenever I want to write something,
I have somewhere to go where absolutely nothing bad can happen to me."
Eimii grinned widely in triumph, leaning against her desk to cover up for the
fact that her left leg had fallen asleep while she was kneeling on the floor. 

Mihrna favored her roommate with a rather bemused glance, then took a
closer look at the circle. One particular thing about the wards immediately
struck her, and she felt the need to verify Eimii's intentions. "You do realize
that these are polarized wards, don't you?"

Still grinning, Eimii nodded. "A'yup. Keeps out demons, deities, magic,
energy blasts, spirits, ki, water, dust, airborne bacteria, the works!"

Mihrna shook her head, a concerned look creeping into her features.
"That's not what I meant. You _did_ have a lecture about the functions of a
polarized warding circle, didn't you?"

Eimii fidgeted uncomfortably for a second before responding. "Err..yeah.
But I was sort of studying for a physics exam while Loki was explaining it,
and I decided to leave class a little before the demonstrations section. I tend
to get 'volunteered' a lot, and it usually isn't pleasant. Don't worry, I
followed the instructions in the text book exactly." she finished brightly.

Mihrna peered around the room until she found the text in  question. It was
sitting on Eimii's bunk, open to a tattered, rune covered page about halfway
through. Picking it up, all the while trying to block out the fact that it was
bound in a leather that no four legged animal had ever worn, Mihrna
flipped through the text for a few moments. It was organized like some sort
of inane tax form, absolutely nothing like the texts that she had used when
she was in training, but that was probably to be expected. Still, a lot of the
material was familiar, and as she _was_ the goddess of one of the most
stupidly bureaucratic institutions in existence, she quickly found what she
was looking for. 

"Ne, Eimii? Come over here for a second."

Eimii, who had been watching her friend flip through the torturous
abomination that her professors had assigned to her, obliged quickly. "Sure!
Did you find som-<ZAP!>-Ow! What the...?" Eimii had just gotten to the
near side of the inner circle when her hand had encountered some sort of
invisible wall. Small motes of lightning still coruscated across the unseen
barrier as she stumbled a few steps back towards the desk, rubbing her
numbed hand. 

Mihrna nodded to herself, as if some personal theory about the universe
had just been verified. Then, setting the text book back on Eimii's bed and
wiping her hands on her pants, she turned back to her confused roommate.
"<Ahem>, As I was saying, this _is_ an all-purpose, polarized warding
circle. And, as you _are_ the focus of the circle, you may consider yourself
well warded." She peered with interest at the intricately inscribed runes that
ran up the wall opposite the beds. "It really is rather well done, I must
compliment you. I'll bet this would hold a class one demon at least. There's
no way _you're_ going to get out of there."

Eimii's jaw dropped to about chest level as gazed in shock at the
disturbingly calm goddess. "Whaat?? You're kidding, right?? This can't be
happening!"

"No joke. Look here: You even included the standard escape clause."
Mihrna answered, pointing at a small cluster of runes near her feet. 

"Huh? You don't mean...?"

"Yup. If at any time you refuse to obey the master of the circle, who would
stand over here," Mihrna stepped over to a small empty space within the
outer fringes of the forrest of runes crossing the floor, "then they can
automatically shunt you directly back to the lower levels of hell by
destroying this rune here." She tapped a small, delicate looking rune with
her foot. 

"HEY!! Hey! Careful there! Don't smudge that." Eimii waved her hands
frantically, shooing Mihrna away from the rune in question. "If any of what
I've heard about summoning and banishing is true, then getting sent back
_that_ way is almost as bad as being there in the first place." 

"Eheh. Sorry about that." Mihrna moved her foot away from the ward,
looking suitably abashed.

"S'Ok. Now, if you would please break the circle so that I can get out. I
have to use the bathroom."

"Hmm... Wait a second now..." There was a definite predatory gleam in
Mihrna's eye as she regarded her ensorceled companion. "There are a few
things that we need to discuss, and oaths made in there _are_ binding..."

Eimii gazed at the chronically depressed goddess in horror. "You..you can't
be serious! That's evil!! Mihrna, you're a goddess. You don't want to do
this." She pleaded, clasping her hands together under her chin and giving
Mihrna her best, teary-eyed, 'i'm-so-pathetically-helpless' look.

Mihrna waved at Eimii reassuringly, one of her rare smiles forming on her
face. "Relax, I won't make you promise anything that you can't live with.
Now then, about finding me a boyfriend..."