Transitions By Richard Lawson Comments & Criticism Welcome! sterman@sprynet.com Hiro concentrated fiercely as he carefully moved the pencil around the paper. He was trying to make something special, and he wanted to get it right. He bit his lip, dropped the pencil, and picked up another one of a different color. He slowly shaded one area, making sure he didn't draw over the lines he had just made. Hiro heard her come up. He bristled. "Not done yet, Nuku Nuku! Go away!" He didn't have to look up at her; he *heard* her smile. "Okay, Hiro. I'll be playing with Yuki; let me know when it's all right to visit." He shooed her away. Another pencil added its color to the picture, and then another, and then the sounds of Yuki's laughter made him decide he was done. "Over here, Nuku Nuku!" He watched as Nuku Nuku and Yuki laughed together again. Then Nuku Nuku gave Yuki a little fish-shaped pastry before coming over to sit at the table next to Hiro. "What have you finished?" "Here!" He held it out to her. "For you." She lifted it and smiled. "It's a cat!" Hiro was enormously pleased. Sometimes people didn't know what the things he drew were. Nuku Nuku never had any problems. "It's you! You are always warm and nice and happy like a cat, so I thought that maybe you were a cat." Nuku Nuku gave him a strange, thoughtful look. It scared him. "I'm sorry! I didn't mean it. Hiro is stupid." He covered his face with his hands. Hiro felt her hands gently but firmly take his and lower them. "You are not stupid, Hiro. You know that. In fact, you are very smart. You figured out something about me that not many people know. I am very impressed!" Her smile was wide and her eyes bright. Hiro felt his spirits lift immediately. "You mean you *are* a cat?" Nuku Nuku nodded. "Not many people know. Let's keep it a secret, all right?" Hiro nodded back enthusiastically. "Our secret. Are you really a cat?" Nuku Nuku laughed. "Yes, of course. I would never lie to you, Hiro. I'm telling you the truth when I say that you're smart. You're smarter than I am." Hiro frowned. He was stupid, he knew that. Everyone else was smart and they always let him know that they were smarter. They would act and talk smarter and give him sad or disgusted looks. Even here, at the home, people who weren't like him and Yuki and the others never stopped letting him know that they were smarter. They would smile and act nice and try to be friends, but he could always see in their eyes how they *knew* they were smarter. The only one who wasn't like that was Nuku Nuku. She was always bright and happy and smiling and treated him like a friend and an equal and never ever made him feel stupid. Somehow, though, it didn't feel right to have her say that he was smarter. "Not true, Nuku Nuku! You're smarter, you don't have to live with us dummies. You can read and write and do all sorts of complicated things. You're smart." Nuku Nuku's smiled got a little smaller. "Yes, it's true that I can do all those things. But it's only because I've got machines that can help me do that. Without them, I wouldn't be able to do some of the things that you can do." Her smile got big again. "I couldn't draw beautiful pictures like this!" Hiro frowned. "You have machines that make you smarter?" "Yes, Hiro. Many machines that I carry with me all the time." He leaned forward eagerly. "Can I have some machines?" Nuku Nuku's smile got a little sad. "You wouldn't want them, Hiro. Trust me." Hiro shrugged his shoulders. If Nuku Nuku said so, she was right. "Can we play the reading game?" Hiro loved the way Nuku Nuku's eyes seemed to light up. "Yes! Are you practicing all the time?" Hiro grinned. "All the time. Soon I read to *you*!" Nuku Nuku's laughter was light and bubbly, just like her. "Good! Let's go get the books." He took her hand and led her to the bookcase. He was glad that she was here, glad that she was happy and thought his picture beautiful. The whole *world* was beautiful with Nuku Nuku in it. *** "Akiko-sama, I just let Atsuko-sama's boyfriend through the front gate. You asked to be notified." Akiko felt a big smile spread across her face. "Thank you. I will answer the door myself." The servant sounded slightly surprised. "Yes, Akiko-sama." She quickly called up some files on her computer, then made her way to the front door. She timed it just right; the chimes of the doorbell echoed through the front hall just as she reached the door. Akiko opened, and felt her smile widen at Kei's shocked and slightly apprehensive face. Kei straightened, then bowed. "Natsume-sama. I am honored." "As well you should be." Her voice was amused, as it usually was when she spoke to him. She bowed back. "I'm glad to see you, Kei-chan. I was wondering if I could have a moment to speak with you before you go see Atsuko." Kei's eyes widened. He nodded numbly and followed her into her study. She sat behind her huge, oaken desk while Kei placed himself in one of the comfortable chairs that faced it. Akiko looked steadily at him for a minute, her expression studious. "It has come to my attention that you have graduated from college." Kei bowed his head. "Yes, Natsume-sama. I begin working for Mantor Shipping in a week." Akiko raised an eyebrow. "Doing what?" "Well, they've got me in some sort of management program. I'm not sure exactly what my duties will be yet, but I look forward to understanding them and carrying them out to the best of my abilities." Akiko snorted. "A carefully rehearsed answer. Bravo." She looked over at her computer monitor, which was turned so that he couldn't see it. "Are you aware that Mantor is completely owned by MHI?" Kei dropped his jaw for a moment before shutting it. "No, I was not, Natsume-sama. Forgive me; I will look for employment elsewhere." Akiko glanced at him sharply. "Why?" Kei thought for a moment, apparently taking time to answer carefully. "I do not want to place you in the potentially compromising position of trying to objectively decide my employment future. If I turn out to be completely incompetent, I do not want you to feel embarrassed to fire me. If I am gifted and deserving of promotion, I do not want the appearance to be one of favoritism should you choose to advance me." Akiko shook her head. "There are many, many levels that separate you and me. If our paths were to cross during your employment with Mantor, it would not be for decades, until you have risen sufficiently within the organization that you would report directly to me. Very few reach that plateau; you would have to be gifted indeed to reach it." Kei tried so sound confident and, Akiko admitted to herself, mostly succeeded. "I believe I possess such gifts. I am at least willing to try." Akiko smiled. "When I first began to work for MHI, I did not start as low as you did. I worked directly with my grandfather as he ran the company. After many years, he resigned as CEO and installed me in that position. I admit there were some rough spots, but I was able to do okay. If I had started as you did, I would still be stuck somewhere in middle management, fighting tooth and nail for a senior position. I, too, am confident enough in my gifts to believe that my talents were put to better use as CEO, rather than fighting political battles in the lower-to-middle management positions." Kei smiled. "I think so, too. MHI is currently as stable as it has ever been. More, it's gained quite a reputation for championing the ethical uses of new technology, due mostly to your efforts. You are a remarkable person, and more than worthy of the accolades that are thrown at your feet." Akiko's eyes narrowed slightly. "Hmm. That was either a genuine compliment or an attempt to gain the first advantage in the political wars to follow." Kei blinked. "I assure you, the former." He smiled again. "One of the things Atsuko has taught me is how... refreshing it is to talk in a straighforward and open manner. She puts up with very little in the way of word games; she prefers honesty in all things. I can't help but agree with her. I like honesty, too." Akiko's features relaxed. "Well, good. As it happens, I believe that you were being genuine just now. Still, there is a time and place for playing games of obfuscation with your company's rivals. Your first lesson will be to learn when to be open and when to be... obscure." Kei drew his eyebrows together slightly. "First lesson?" Akiko nodded, pleased that he had picked up on that. She had judged him correctly. "It is my intention to transfer you onto my personal staff. I need good, dependable people to work with me while I run this company. People whose loyalty I can count on implicitly, people who are intelligent and motivated." Kei tried to bring moisture to his suddenly dry mouth. "Natsume- sama! I... I'm not worthy." Akiko raised an eyebrow. She didn't care much for humility. "You're not? Which are you - undependable, untrustworthy, slothful, or stupid?" Kei gaped, struggling to find a way out of the trap he'd fallen into. "I - that's not what I meant. Uh, surely there are other people more...." He trailed off, evidently realizing that he was about to dig himself in deeper. He drew a breath, held it, then slowly released it. "Natsume- sama, I am not entirely sure I have sufficient experience to adequately perform the duties that would be required of me in such a position." Akiko smiled, glad that he could think clearly and well in a difficult situation. "That's better." She looked over at the computer screen again. "Your grades at college were good. Very good. The records of the jobs you worked at during college indicate a solid work ethic, an ability to work with minimal supervision, and the intelligence to creatively solve problems." She looked back at him. "I do not make this offer lightly. You might think I am merely offering you this position because of your relationship with my daughter. In truth, it was that relationship which made me notice you. But my duty to MHI is too strong to waste important positions such as this on nepotism. I would not place you on my staff if I did not think you showed some promise. It is up to you to realize that promise. The rewards are substantial, but the journey will be long and hard. Do you feel up to the task?" Kei swallowed. He stared at her for a minute before straightening a little in his chair. "Yes, Natsume-sama. I would very much like to justify your faith in me. I humbly thank you for the position, and give you my word of honor that I will always keep the company's best interests at heart." Akiko smiled again, a little sadly. His words were remarkably similar to the ones she'd given her grandfather years ago, and that wasn't necessarily for the best. "That is good. We will have to talk sometime, however, about how to balance your obligation to this company with your other obligations, especially to those of your family." "I understand, Natsume-sama." "That's not quite right for my subordinate. Why don't you call me Akiko-sama?" Kei drew another deep breath. "I could never do that. I would... I would prefer to call you... Mother-in-law." Akiko blinked rapidly. "What?" Kei jerked his head once, slightly; Akiko imagined that a silent imprecation had just been uttered. Kei rose to his feet and bowed deeply to her. "With your permission, I would like to ask Atsuko to marry me." Outwardly, Akiko eyed him critically. Inwardly, she exulted. She'd been trying to push him to this decision for the past year. She had been treating him more and more like a part of the family, at the same time making veiled threats about people who lacked courage and acted indecisively. She'd been hoping that the job offer would also make him feel secure enough to be able to propose. He'd surprised her a little by how quickly he'd acted, but she was still delighted. However, there were other issues that needed to be addressed, and it was necessary for her to be harsh with him. She needed to be sure of him. And she needed him to be sure of himself. "You realize, of course, that you're marrying a cat?" Kei gaped at her, looking as if he'd been slapped. A look of anger flitted across his face before he brought himself under control. "I am asking to marry Atsuko. The person I met and fell in love with is... is more than what she used to be. She's as human as you are." She saw him wince, regretting the words as soon as he'd said them. "I'm sorry, I don't mean that way the way it sounds. I meant, she fits my defintion of human. And her own. That's all that matters." Akiko fought to keep the smile off her face. So far so good. "And what of your parents? Do they know you intend to marry a cyborg?" Kei lifted his chin a little. "I have mentioned it to them. They thought I was making a joke, and I have not tried to correct that impression. I have told them that she is incapable of having children. Since I am the youngest of four children, and since my two older brothers are already married, they do not have a problem with that." Akiko narrowed her eyes, while inwardly she was impressed. He'd walked a thin line between telling the truth about Atsuko and concealing her true nature, something which would be sure to scuttle the marriage. Akiko had helped Kyusaku create a convincing human identity for Atsuko, one which included a full background with all the necessary paperwork. Legally, she was a 22-year old woman, the daughter of Akiko and Kyusaku. (Akiko hoped that no one noticed that her daughter had evidently been born three years before she and Kysaku had been married.) If she was going to build a normal, human life for herself, Atsuko was going to need to conceal her true nature. Atsuko understood, although she did tend to tell anyone who became close to her about her origins. So far, it hadn't caused any problems. It helped that Atsuko was always cheerful, helpful, and tended to make everyone feel good. People who got to know her had no desire to shatter her world by exposing her. Akiko ruminated a bit, then decided to see how far ahead Kei was thinking. "Do you ever plan to tell them? I don't think you can keep it a secret forever." Kei nodded. "I know. If nothing else, Atsuko will want to tell them. She hates lying." He sighed. "I want to wait until after we're married, and after they've gotten to know her better. I think Atsuko and I can win them over. But I sure want it to be after our marriage is firmly established." Akiko continued to be impressed by this young man. He *had* thought it through. "Very well. I want you to be sure of this, Kei-chan. If you later decide that marriage with Atsuko is something you didn't want, if you break my daughter's heart in any way, I will be... very disappointed." Her voice was even and soft, almost a whisper. To her satisfaction, the blood drained from his face. He understood the threat quite clearly. He surprised her, though. He sat a little straighter and stared into her eyes. "Do you love your daughter, Natsume-sama?" Akiko blinked, once again at a loss for words. "What?" He leaned forward a little bit. "Will you ever decide that you do not want a robot for a daughter? Will you ever disown her?" Akiko was slightly awed by the audacity of his attack. "Your point is?" Kei sat back in his chair. "I would not dare to tell you that my feelings for Atsuko are stronger than yours. But they are just as real. I love Atsuko. Marrying her and trying to build a life with her is the single most important thing to me, and will remain so for as long as I live. Please do not attempt to question my sincerity or imply that I will grow tired of her. You dishonor both me and your daughter." Akiko let her face grow cold. She spoke in a stiffly formal voice. "I do neither. Whatever you may think, I have my daughter's best interests at heart." He bowed his head, accepting her words. "I know that." He paused. "Do I have your permission to ask Atsuko to marry me?" With her eyes lidded, she nodded once. Kei stood up and bowed deeply. "Thank you, Natsume-sama." Her face and voice didn't change. "I believe, Kei-chan, that you wanted to call me Mother-in-law." Kei straightened and stared at her in surprise. He studied her thoughtfully for a minute before slowly smiling. "That is correct. May I go see Atsuko now, Mother-in-law?" Akiko moved her head to the door. Kei bowed again, and left. Akiko waited until he was well away. Only then did she allow the smile to reclaim her face; only then did she begin laughing. She wasn't losing a daughter. She was gaining a damned fine son- in-law. *** Kei spent a moment at the top of the stair, trying to calm his racing heart. Akiko was a scary person. She fairly radiated power and confidence, as a good CEO and Chairperson of the Board should. She also was given to bouts of irrationality that made him extremely nervous. His greatest fear was that one day he would wake up to see her standing over him, pointing some futuristic weapon at him and smiling that evil smile she liked to send his way. Atsuko had laughed when he'd told her this and had said that Akiko would never do a thing like that, not any more. That last qualifier didn't reassure him in the slightest. Still, just now he'd been able to see a little of the warm and loving person Atsuko was always describing to him. She showed it in strange ways, but it was clear that she cared deeply for Atsuko and was making very certain that Kei did as well. Kei decided that he was as calm as he was likely to get. He began to walk nervously down the hall, for once not taking in the opulence around him. The wide hall and the lavish decorations failed to make an impression on him. He had far more important things to think about. He reached Atsuko's room. Kei stood in the open doorway and looked inside. There were no small rooms in the Mishima mansion. Atsuko's room was as big as the apartment in Nerima she used to share with Ryunosuke and Kyusaku. At the far end, a large four-poster canopy bed was covered with stuffed animals, many of them gifts from Kei. The walls were covered with different kinds of pictures; family portraits, photographs from various outings, and drawings Atsuko had received. Kei noted that she had a new one; an amorphous creature of some sort, brightly colored. Atsuko herself was at her workstation. Various computers surrounded her, as well as technical gear of all sorts. She often helped her father with his projects, in between her other volunteer work. Currently, she was staring intensely at the screen, a look of deep concentration on her face. She was idly petting one of the cats that lived in and around the Mishima mansion. She hadn't noticed him. Kei smiled; one of the things he loved about her was the total commitment she had to any project she undertook. Kei wasn't sure if that was something she had learned from her adoptive parents, or if it was just a part of her nature. Probably a combination of the two. Kei just stood there and watched her. She was beautiful, but that wasn't important, especially since she could make for herself whatever body she wanted to. She'd kept the form that Kyusaku had given her when shed been reborn, and had even kept her hair the same scarlet color. The only thing she'd changed was her canines; she'd replaced them with normal ones, no longer wanting to give the impression of having fangs. In her mind, it diminished her humanity. What was making Kei's heart race right now was the possibility of spending his whole life with her. He loved her very much, and the very *reality* of her, of the woman he loved, was enough to take his breath away. The cat on her lap meowed at him. Atsuko looked up and saw him. She beamed, carefully set the cat on the floor, then vaulted over her workstation to fling herself into his arms. "Hello, Kei!" She kissed him passionately. In the six years they'd been dating, Atsuko had never greeted him with anything less than total enthusiasm. He'd made some feeble attempts to get her to be more discrete, but eventually he'd given up, admitting to himself that he enjoyed her demonstrative nature. Sometimes she'd forget little things, however, like the fact that he needed to breathe. After about a minute, he pushed himself away, gasping. "H-hello, Atsuko." She smiled up at him. "Did you talk with Mother? She wanted to see you first before we went out." Kei nodded. "Did she tell you what it was going to be about?" "No. She did say she was going to make you an offer only and idiot would refuse." Kei laughed. "Atsuko, can we talk?" "Of course!" She disentangled herself and led him to where a couch and two easy chairs surrounded a table. Another cat was sprawled on the table, watching them with uninterested eyes. Atsuko sat on the couch and pulled him down next to her. "So, were you stupid or not?" "Well, that's open to interpretation. I took her up on her offer, though. I'm going to be working directly for your mother, on her personal staff." "Neat!" Atsuko had many different kinds of smiles -� since she was almost always smiling, she needed to have some variety. This smile was a pleased, warm, slightly-excited smile. "Mother likes you a lot, Kei. She wouldn't do this if she didn't. And I'm sure you're going to like working with her. She knows lots about business and stuff, exactly the things you want to know about." Kei nodded. "Yes, it is an incredible opportunity. I only hope I can prove worthy." This smile was the proud, knowing, touch-of-love smile. "Of course you will, Kei! You'll do wonderfully and show everyone how smart and capable you are and one day you'll run the company as well as Mother does." Kei snorted. "Oh, I don't think that's going to happen." "Why not? Ryunosuke doesn't want to run the company. I'm busy doing other things, and I wouldn't be any good at it anyway. Mother wants someone to follow in her footsteps just like she followed in Great-grandfather's. She's chosen you to be her prot�g�, and she'll train you for years and years and then she'll resign as CEO and name you as her successor." Kei gaped at Atsuko. She sounded so sure. He shuddered slightly, reeling from the implications. Atsuko smile was reassuring now. "Don't worry, Kei. It's going to work out for the best, you'll see." She hugged him tightly. This reminded Kei of the reason he was here. Suddenly, he found a whole new reason to tremble. He placed his hands on Atsuko's shoulders and separated them a little. He looked into her eyes, wanting to burn the sight of her into his mind, hoping that he could hold the memory of the next few minutes in his mind forever. If he didn't lose his courage. "Atsuko?" "Yes, Kei?" "I... I love you. You know that, don't you?" Atsuko nodded her head rapidly. "I love you too." Kei had tried to choose his words carefully. "Is the love you feel for me different from the love you feel for your family and friends?" Atsuko frowned, a sign, Kei knew, that she was thinking seriously. "I know that sometimes it seems like I love everyone the same. I used to believe it, too. But I've came to realize that the love I felt for Mother, Father, and Ryunosuke was different. More intense. If they were gone, there was an emptiness inside me that hurt. When I saw them, I was very, very happy, happier then when I saw my friends. I decided to call those feelings 'family love'." She reached up a finger and began to trace his face. "At first, you were a friend. I went out with you because Mariko said you were nice and I was curious about what dating was like. Then I saw more and more of you, and you *were* nice, and friendly, and respectful, fun to talk to and be with, and I found that I was looking forward to seeing you as much as I looked forward to seeing my family. So I decided that I felt 'family love' towards you." She smiled, this one full of excitement and wonder. "Then we kissed. That was in my first android body, and Father had some crude circuits set up, ones that transmitted signals to the pleasure centers of my brain. The more we kissed, the more I liked it. That changed the love. It made it more than 'family love'. I call it 'Kei love'." She grinned affectionately. "I like 'Kei love' a lot." She placed her hand on his cheek and kissed him. Kei accepted the kiss, breathing in her fragrance. It was the best answer he could have hoped for. He looked into her eyes again when she pulled away, his fear leaving him. "I... I have similar feelings for you. 'Atsuko love'." He grinned. "I want to have that feeling with me always." Suddenly his fear rose up anew and dragged the smile from his face and replaced it with nervous gulping. "I... I want to have you with me always." Atsuko smiled in a knowing way. "Father once told me that he'd always be with me. I didn't know what he meant at first, but I think I know now. It means that there's a part of him that will always be thinking of me and loving me, just as there's a part of me that's always thinking about and loving him. You and I do that too. We love each other, and that means wherever one of is, they carry the love of the other with them." Kei sighed and smiled. "That's a very nice thought, but that's not exactly what I meant." Atsuko looked puzzled. "What did you mean, then?" "I mean...." Kei paused and cursed himself. This wasn't going like he'd planned. The problem was, of course, that he'd had no plan, just vague images of what he wanted to accomplish. He pulled a box out of his pocket, stared at it numbly, then thrust it at Atsuko. "Here." "Hmm?" Atsuko took it, opened it, and stared at its contents curiously. "That's very pretty, Kei. Did you buy this for me? Wow, look at that diamond." She lifted the ring from the box and examined it closely. "About three-fourths of a carat, good color. Mother's got lots of diamond jewelry; I should show you her collection some time. She even gave me some." She beamed at him. "This one's beautiful in a different way, though, because *you* gave it to me." Kei shook his head slightly and began trying to regain control of the course of events. "Uh, when a man gives a woman a ring like this, it's usually for a very specific reason." "Really?" Her gaze turned inward, a sign, he knew, that she was thinking hard, accessing information. She jumped in her seat, screeched, and looked at him with wonder. "You're asking me to marry you, aren't you?" Kei nodded, finding that his capacity for speech had chosen this unfortunate moment to desert him. "Oh, how do I say yes? I put it on this finger, right?" She held up her hand and stared at the ring on her finger, the wondrous still look on her face. She looked at him, and began to cry. "Oh my, there they go again. Oh Kei." She flung herself into his arms and clutched him tightly. "It's been my dream to be human, to be accepted as human and to have someone love me in that special way even though they know I was born a cat, and you know, you know me and you still want me and love me and want me with you always and forever and I can't believe it I'm human this day at last I'm human and loved and complete...." "Atsuko." Kei found that his voice has not much better than a hoarse whisper. "To me, you've always been human. I could not ask for a better person to be with me now and forever. I'm so incredibly lucky to have known you and even luckier that you want me with you as well." They hugged each other for a long time. Kei found an incredible peace settle over him. She wanted him, was willing to marry him. Was going to marry him. Life could not be more wonderful, could not have any better meaning, thanks to the woman in his arms right at this moment. Suddenly Atsuko pushed him away. She was still crying, but her smile was excited again. "Oh! I just thought of something good." Kei smiled, excited with her. Anything that made her happy was good. "What's that?" "Something Father told me about a long time ago. Mariko, too." She grabbed his hands, lifted him from the couch, and began to pull him to the far end of the room. "Something people who are going to get married do. I've been wanting to try it for the longest time." *** Kyusaku switched off the monitor and rubbed his eyes. "Ryu-san, let's call it a day." Ryunosuke frowned at him from the worktable where various components were scattered. "It's early still." Kyusaku looked over at his son. Ryunosuke looked ready to take on the world still, despite the long hours they'd spent. Then again, his tall, wiry frame gave him the look of a fighter, and he had all the determination and spirit of his mother to back it up. Still, the appearance was deceiving; the gentle child Kyusaku had known had grown into an equally kind and gentle teenager. More than a teenager; a man, Kyusaku forced himself to admit. Kyusaku indicated the clock. "It's past eight. I promised your mother we'd be home at a reasonable hour. Even now, she may question our definition of 'reasonable'." Ryunosuke looked at the clock and blinked. "Wow, I didn't know it was that late. I thought it was a little past noon." Kyusaku smiled, remembering when he had been eighteen like Ryunosuke. He'd had boundless energy, and had felt that sleep was something to be avoided at all costs. There had been few enough hours in the day as it were. "We've done enough today. We'll pick it up in the morning." Ryunosuke reluctantly put down the schematic he'd printed out. "But we don't have enough time. Not if you're going to insist on sending me away." Kyusaku grinned at the familiar opening gambit. They'd been having this debate for months now. "College is good for you, Ryu- san." Ryunosuke shook his head. "You've taught me everything I need to know, Father. Why can't I work for you?" They began shutting down the equipment as they continued talking. "Ryu-san, you'll find your career options limited if you don't have a college degree." "That's not true. The experience I've gained working for you should hold up anywhere." "Really, Ryu-san, think about it. Working for your father in a company your mother owns? No matter what you accomplish, people will question such credentials. You need to get a degree to legitimize the experience." "Father, there are plenty of people who've done well without a degree. I don't see why I should waste six years of my life getting a doctorate when I can be doing useful stuff now!" The left the lab and headed for the elevator. Kyusaku decided to bring the argument to its familiar close. "You'll do it because I tell you to. And because your mother will fire you otherwise." Ryunosuke let out a frustrated breath but didn't say anything else. Kyusaku smiled to himself. Ryunosuke was right; he could probably teach some of his professors. Still, the years Kyusaku had spent at college had been precious. He had learned and experienced things well outside the established curriculum. He was going to make sure that his son wasn't deprived of that. Ryunosuke needed to establish an identity for himself independent of his parents, and college was an excellent place for him to do that. The elevator doors parted as they approached. A familiar voice greeted them. "There you are! Akiko-sama sent me to bring you home. She was convinced that you were going to decide that 'reasonable' meant sometime before dawn." Kyusaku discretely watched his son's face assume the usual dreamy look it did during times like this. Kyusaku couldn't blame him. Yoshimi had grown into a stunningly beautiful young woman. She was as quiet and friendly as she had always been, but had added maturity to those qualities that made her a simply wonderful person. Kyusaku watched Yoshimi's cheeks color slightly at Ryunosuke's look. Those two had a peculiar relationship. They weren't dating, exactly. They both insisted they were just good friends � - best friends, even. Yet neither one of them ever dated anyone else. They spent so much time together that he and Akiko treated Yoshimi like a daughter-in-law-to-be. Ryunosuke had hotly denied that he and Yoshimi were going to be married. As the years had progressed, though, his denials had become less intense and seemed a little forced. Kyusaku let them stare at each other for a moment before clapping a shoulder on each of them. "Well, let's not keep her waiting, then!" He was a little satisfied to see them each jump and look a little sheepish. The sooner they realized how foolish they were being by holding back their emotions, the better. They went down the elevator to the garage, and Kyusaku was surprised to see a limousine waiting for them. Yoshimi indicated the door being opened for them. "Akiko-sama sent the limousine for us. Your Land Rover is being driven back by another chauffeur." Kyusaku scowled. He hated servants, hated being waited on hand and foot. His own hands and feet were good enough for taking care of himself. Depending on servants made a person soft and weak. It continued to be a slight source of tension between him and Akiko, who had been raised with servants and saw no problem in letting them deal with mundane chores. He growled. "Then we'll walk. I won't have her making these decisions for me." Yoshimi smiled somewhat apologetically. "Akiko-sama knew that you would have this reaction. She wanted me to give you a message from her. The most polite way I can think of to rephrase it is, 'Shut up and get in the limo, Kyusaku.'" Kyusaku thinned his lips, then decided this was a battle not worth fighting. Not right now. He growled again and got into the limousine, ignoring the amused looks Ryunosuke and Yoshimi were giving him. He did his best not to enjoy the ride, letting the two teenagers chat brightly about what they had done that day. Yoshimi was spending most of her time working in her mother's office. Yoshimi was also going to college, wanting to become a psychiatrist like her mother. Part of the reason that Ryunosuke wasn't making more of a fuss over being sent to college against his will, Kyusaku suspected, was the proximity of his college to Yoshimi's. Kyusaku idly wondered if the enforced separation from his family would finally persuade Ryunosuke to admit his true feelings about Yoshimi -� to himself as much to her. Eventually the limousine pulled into the circular driveway in front of the Mishima mansion. Kyusaku hurried to open the door before the driver could. As he got out, he heard the front door to the mansion slam open. Two seconds later, something slammed into him, carrying him over the hood of the limo, across the driveway, and onto the lawn beyond, where he rolled over and over several times before resting on his back with an overzealous cyborg on top of him. "Papa-san! Papa-san! Looklooklooklooklook!" Atsuko held her left hand in front of him. Kyusaku could see that she was wearing a ring. It sparkled in the fading twilight, sending a thrill through him. He grinned despite the fact that he had the wind knocked out of him. "D-did Kei give you th-that?" "Yesyes! Oh, Papa-san, I'm so happy!" She hugged him, quivering slightly. Kyusaku hugged her back, almost as happy as she was. Finally, Kei had proposed. He'd fully accepted Atsuko as human, and was willing to share his life with her. In a way, it was a validation of Kyusaku's design for the NK-1124. But more, it was the result of Atsuko's determination to learn how to be human, and the incredibly loving personality which made it so easy for everyone to accept her as human. Those were things Kyusaku could never take credit for. Nor would he want to. He'd been incredibly blessed to have Atsuko come into his life. "Atsuko, I'm so happy for you. Kei is a fine man, and you two will make a wonderful couple." Atsuko sighed happily. "Thank you, Father." She stood up and pulled him to his feet. "Mother's got dinner waiting for us. Kei is here, and his parents are here, and Yoshimi came too -� oh, I guess you knew that." She said this as Yoshimi and Ryunosuke walked up to them, each smiling widely. Ryunosuke took Atsuko's hand and examined the ring. "So he finally did it. About time. When are you going to do it?" Atsuko beamed. "Next month, here at the mansion. Kei was surprised but Mother said there was no need to delay, especially since we could use the mansion for everything. And we'll be married and we'll live here and we can start adopting and raising a family and Ryunosuke I'm so very very happy!" She grabbed Ryunosuke in a hug. His eyes bugged out slightly, but he smiled and hugged her back. Kyusaku put his arms around his children. "Let's go inside now and eat. I'm hungry, and I want to talk to my future son-in-law." Everyone began walking towards the mansion, arm in arm with each other, euphoria filling the air. Kyusaku smiled, and wondered how much more wonderful the wedding itself would be. * * * Ryunosuke was too excited to sleep. The events of the day had filled him with energy begging to be released. Dinner had been great; everyone had been smiling and happy. Atsuko, who normally radiated happiness, had become a supernova of good feeling. She would talk rapidly and excitedly about all of the wonderful things she and Kei were going to do together, and kept showing her ring off to everyone. Kei had put up with it pretty well � better than Ryunosuke would have, in his position. Then again, Kei had probably gotten used to how... uninhibited Atsuko was in expression her feelings. Ryunosuke threw off his covers and put on a robe. He walked out into the hallway, planning to go to the lab he and his father used in the basement. If he wasn't going to be able to sleep, he may as well put his waking hours to good use. Going down the hallway, he stopped at Atsuko's room. She always kept the door open so that the eight cats she and Mother had adopted could come and go as they pleased. From inside the room, he could see Atsuko sitting at her workstation, the pale blue light from the monitor highlighting the studious expression on her face. Ryunosuke frowned; she really didn't need a lot of light to see - her visual inputs were very sensitive and easily adjustable �- but she still usually had the lights on when she worked, trying to appear human as much as possible. Also, she needed sleep like everyone else. She never stayed up late like this. Not that Ryunosuke had seen, anyway. "Nuku Nuku." He always called her Atsuko except when they were alone together. He understood and agreed with the reasons she'd used when deciding to abandon the name he'd given her. Yet she still used it with some people -� a lot of her volunteer work was done under that name. And she didn't mind when her family used it, especially Ryunosuke and his father. It reminded them all of the special times they'd spent together in the apartment in Nerima, giving Atsuko her first lessons in how to be human. She looked over at him and smiled. Ryunosuke couldn't be sure exactly, but her smile seemed subdued in the dim light of the computer screen. "Hello, Ryunosuke. Why are you still up?" He shrugged. "Still excited by the news. My big sister getting married." For once, Atsuko didn't become over-excited by the topic. She still smiled widely. "It is great, isn't it? It's so wonderful to think that he wants me always and forever. Me. Nuku Nuku, who had four legs and a tail when she was born." Ryunosuke shook his head. "Don't think about it like that." He paused slightly, then shrugged and moved on. "The way I always think about it is, the animal you used to be died that Christmas Eve. You were reborn as a human on Christmas Day, thanks to Father. You were lifted from one existence to another. It's what the Buddhists beliefs about reincarnation are all about." Ryunosuke smiled. "I think you were found worthy of a greater existence, and forced to move on to another stage of enlightenment." Atsuko stared at him, her smile fading slightly to be replaced by a thoughtful look. "That's one way of looking at it, isn't it? Phases of existence." Ryunosuke nodded. "It's easier that way, I think. I mean, you're not a cat, not any more. So it isn't wrong for us to treat you as a human. It's not wrong for Kei to marry you. How can it be, when you're as human as we are?" Atsuko smiled widely. "Thank you, Ryunosuke. You've given me lots of good things to think about. I'm so lucky to have you as my brother." Ryunosuke smiled and bowed. "You should get some sleep, Nuku Nuku." "Yes. Yes, I should." She looked at the monitor for a second before shutting it off. Her voice floated from the darkness. "You too, Ryunosuke. Father spent days and days awake, but he always paid a heavy price. It wouldn't be good for you to act like that, too." Ryunosuke chuckled, reflecting on how far Atsuko had come. Before, it would never occur to her to give him advice or even hint at a criticism of Father. "Fair enough. Good night." "'Night." Ryunosuke heard the sleepy meow of a cat being picked up as Atsuko evidently made her way to her bed. Ryunosuke smiled and turned back to go to his bedroom, honoring his promise to Atsuko. As he got into bed, his thoughts swam of humanity and phases of existence, and how things had gone so well for his sister in both regards. * * * Akiko went to Atsuko's room and poked her head inside. "Do you have a moment, dear?" Atsuko looked up from her computer. "Of course!" She shut off the monitor and bounded over to Akiko. "Only an hour, though, before I have to leave for my job at the hospital." Akiko smiled. "That should be plenty of time." They made their way down the hallway, across some stairs, down another hallway, and up more stairs. Akiko opened the door to the seldom-used fitting room. Her mother had often had people coming in to custom-tailor dresses for her. Akiko dressed slightly more conservatively than her mother had, and settled for a far less extensive wardrobe. Still, she'd learned a lot about dressmaking from watching her mother with the tailors. She'd made a hobby of it, the only remotely domestic thing she'd ever bothered to learn. Mostly, she'd done it to try to get close to her mother, who had been a very cold person who got passionate about very few things, her wardrobe being one of those few. And Akiko not. She shook her head to clear it of the memories and indicated a mannequin. "I want you to try that on. We'll need to mark it so that the tailors can make some adjustments." Atsuko walked slowly up to the wedding gown. Her eyes were wide as she examined it closely. Akiko smiled and stepped back, letting Atsuko take her time. The gown was lavish, made of silk and lace intricately woven together. It billowed out and made the wearer seem to float rather than walk. Akiko's parents had spent hundreds of thousands of yen on it, and not one yen had been wasted. Atsuko looked at her with awe. "It's beautiful, Mama-san. It's perfect." "I'm glad you like it. Let's get you into it so I can figure out what the tailors will need to do." Atsuko's eyes grew wider, if possible. "But... you can't mean for me to wear it! It's... I can't spoil it by wearing it." Akiko snorted in amusement. "Atsuko, you're a darling sweet person and I love you tremendously, but shut up and get into the dress." Atsuko covered her mouth and looked at the dress again. Slowly, she began to change out of her clothes as Akiko slipped the gown off of the mannequin. She managed to get it on Atsuko with a bit of difficulty. Akiko sighed. "Well, it fits, but we've got a lot of work to do. We need to take in the waist and let out the bust a little. The hips are a little wide, too." She grinned. "You're certainly better built than I am." Atsuko gaped at her. "You're a cyborg, too?" Akiko chuckled. "No dear, that's not what I meant." She took some pins and began marking some areas. Silence for a few seconds. Then: "Do you mean that my breasts are...." "Yes, dear, that's what I meant." Akiko would someday have to find out everything Kysuaku had programmed into her databases. "Turn a little to the side... that's it. Lift your arms up. Now stand still." A few more minutes went by while Akiko carefully marked the areas that needed to be worked on. When she was satisfied, she stepped back. "There. It looks lovely on you now, but it'll look even better when the tailors are finished with it." Atsuko looked down at herself. "Oh, Mother, are you sure? I mean, if this is your dress...." "Atsuko." Akiko cut in before her daughter could begin another round of protests. "The day I wore this was one of the happiest days of my life. I felt beautiful and special. I can't think of any better use for it than to help you feel the same way on your wedding day. It will make the dress even more special to me if I can see you wearing it, too. Someday, if you have a daughter and she gets married, you'll give it to her and understand how happy I am at this moment." Atsuko looked up, her face sober. Tears began coming out of her eyes. Akiko smiled. She knew how Atsuko felt; the decision to be married and all that implied had overwhelmed her from time to time, making her emotionally fragile. Atsuko, very much an extrovert by nature, was going to be flitting from one emotional extreme to the other over the course of the next couple of weeks. "Come, dear, let's get you out of the dress." Atsuko wiped her eyes and nodded. They slowly took the gown off, and Akiko carefully put it back on the mannequin. Atsuko quickly got dressed, then jumped into Akiko's arms and hugged her tightly. "I'm so happy, Mother. The dress is so beautiful and I'm so lucky you gave it to me and I'm so lucky you're here with me you're going to help me and my wedding is going to be so wonderful because of you...." "You're babbling again, Atsuko." Akiko gently separated them used her handkerchief to wipe Atsuko's face dry. "Now, it's time for you to go to work, isn't it?" Atsuko brightened considerably. "Yes! Oh, I get to see more of my friends today and show them my ring and tell them about my wedding." She kissed Akiko on the cheek. "Thankyouthankyou, Mama-san!" She ran from the room. Akiko laughed. As always, Atsuko managed to make everyone around her feel so good. For the briefest of moments, she felt a twinge of jealousy; Kei was going to experience more of Atsuko's company than Akiko was. She quickly surpressed it; her greater joy would come from knowing how happy Atsuko was. And, anyway, since they would all still be living in the mansion, Atsuko would continue to be around to spread her joy. Akiko sighed in anticipation of how beautiful the wedding was going to be. She picked up a phone to call in the tailors so that they could get to work on it right away. * * * Kei drove up to the mansion. He got out of the car and handed the keys to one of Akiko's servants. He shared some of Kyusaku's discomfort about having people do things for him he was perfectly capable of doing himself. Still, he'd better get used to it, if he was going to be living here. Twelve days. The figure kept echoing in his brain. Twelve days and they would be married. Akiko had pushed back the start of his employment to after his and Atsuko's honeymoon. For now, he was caught up in the preparations, eager for the day to arrive and at the same time a little frightened by how quickly things were progressing. Still, all he had to do was see Atsuko and all his fears vanished. She was so excited and eager, he couldn't help feeling the same way about the marriage. He wondered if this was just a portent of how things were always going to be with her, and grinned at the thought. He rang the doorbell and a servant quickly let him in. He declined to be announced, as usual. Instead, he made his own way up to Atsuko's room. Today they were going to choose a room to live in. Akiko had insisted that they take one of the master bedrooms, of which there were four. One was occupied by Kyusaku and Akiko. One was across the hall from that one. That was on the bottom of Kei's current list. Two were in the other wing. Kei wondered briefly which room Ryunosuke would choose when he got married. He also wondered who would ever decide to build such a ridiculously huge mansion. Kei arrived at Atsuko's room, and was surprised to find the door closed. He shrugged and knocked. The door was opened a few seconds later, and he was grabbed and dragged into the room. "Kei!" Atsuko's kissing seemed especially passionate this time. Kei enjoyed it thoroughly. He'd enjoyed the other things they'd been doing, too. It was just going to get better after they were married. Atsuko kept kissing him, rubbing her hands in his hair. Kei enjoyed that, too, until something scratched him. He yelped and grabbed her hand, breaking off the kiss to look at it. Her hand was covered in a fine particle dust, glinting in the sunlight streaming through the window. "Oh, Kei, I'm sorry! I'll go wash it off." She ran to the adjoining bathroom, where Kei could hear water running. Kei furrowed his brow, wondering how that could have happened. He looked around the room and froze. One of the monitors at her workstation had a huge hole in the front. Bits of glass, metal, and wiring were strewn in front of it. Kei simply didn't know how to react. The conclusion that Atsuko had punched the monitor was as inescapable as it was impossible to believe. He could count the times Atsuko had been angry on the fingers of one hand, and she had never resorted to senseless violence. She would only attack those that attacked her. She could be... overly effusive in the way she hugged everyone, but there was never any malice present. A cold lump began to form in his stomach. Something was very, very wrong. Atsuko came out of the bathroom, walked up to him, and hugged him tightly. "Kei, I love you, I love you, I love you. You are more special to me than anyone else, and I am so happy that you want me in your life, that you've accepted me for who I am. You've given me more happiness and joy then I've ever felt in my life." She pushed herself away and held out her hand. "Here." Kei looked down. In the palm of her hand was her engagement ring. He stared at her face in shock. She smiled sadly. "I do not think we should get married." * * * Atsuko waited until everyone was in the sitting room before entering herself. She could hear them chatting brightly, discussing the wedding and wondering what this meeting was about. She closed her eyes and tried to remember all the lessons she'd learned from Mama-san about being strong. She opened her eyes, smiled, and strode into the room. Everyone looked up at her and brightened. Yoshimi looked behind her. "Where is Kei-san?" "Kei is on his way over to his parents' house. He is going to tell them the same thing I am going to tell you." "Really?" Ryunosuke leaned forward in his seat. "What's that?" Strong, be strong. "We've broken off our engagement. We have decided not to get married." Stunned silence greeted her announcement. She looked around at the shocked faces, and quailed a little inside. She did her best to keep smiling, but it has becoming harder for her to do so. "But, Atsuko..." Mama-san was gaping at her in much the same way Kei had. "Why?" Atsuko tried to give the same speech she'd give to Kei, only more coherently. "Two months ago, I had my annual maintenance on much of my hardware." She looked over at Papa-san. "Remember?" Papa-san slowly nodded. "Y-yes. As I recall, it went well." "We upgraded a lot of my processors. Do you recall the results?" "We increased your computational power by 25%." "26.035%. And yet, we had calculated that the upgrades would increase my computational ability by 26.224%." "Well, yes, but two-tenths of one-percent is not a significant difference." "It is when the margin for error is 0.003%. We were off by two orders of magnitude." Papa-san frowned. "I remember you commenting on that, and me telling you not to worry about it. When we upgrade multiple processors simultaneously, unexpected results can occur." "I was still curious how we could be so far off. I decided to study the problem." Atsuko reached up and touched her head. "I isolated each of the new components one at a time and tested them thoroughly. I also ran them in combinations. I did this over and over again. The results were always the same. I should have realized that extra two-tenths of one percent. Yet I hadn't. I tested the other, older components involved in the computational analysis, and discovered them to be with tolerances as well. The only conclusion I could reach is that the problem had to lie with one particular component." Atsuko stopped and looked around. Papa-san understood, and his face was turning white. Yoshimi and Mama-san were confused. Ryunosuke was thinking hard, trying to work it out. Suddenly, his eyes grew wide, and he blurted out, "Your brain." Atsuko nodded. "Unfortunately, there is no way to directly test my brain's computational ability. My next step was to find out all there was to know about how the brain worked. I knew a lot already, of course, since getting my brain to work with the hardware is a vital part of my system design. But Papa-san and I had not considered the long term effects the interface would have on my brain." Atsuko sighed. "There is, unfortunately, quite a lot of literature about the study of cat's brains. I was able to download pictures of cat's brains from kittenhood to old age. A young cat's brain is smooth, kind of like a lemon. As a cat gets older, the brain becomes more wrinkled, until it begins to resemble a dried prune. Eventually, the brain begins to degrade to the point where it loses coherency, and begins firing randomly. Usually this coincides with the body's breakdown as well. A cat dies from heart failure or other natural causes long before its brain wears away. "I, of course, have a body that can last forever, with maintenance. Papa-san and others who have experimented with cyborgs have theorized that removing the brain from the body will free it from whatever it is that causes the brain to age and decay. There's still so much we don't know about aging, but it seemed logical that it was a biological thing, and by removing the biology, we remove the threat of old age. "I decided to see what was happening to my brain. It's difficult to take pictures of it, because the surrounding hardware interferes with my sensors. By shutting down part of my systems at different moments, I was able to map my brain section by section. The result showed that my brain very much resembled that of an old cat." Atsuko paused to let that sink in. She looked around to see Ryunosuke clutching Yoshimi's hand very tightly. Mama-san was staring at her, her mouth agape. Papa-san had his head in his hands, and looked as if he was thinking hard. She smiled at that; he was already trying to figure out how to help her. He wouldn't be able to. "I can postulate, of course, that it is the fact that my brain was been subject to unusual stresses that has caused this aging. It's been... overclocked, for lack of a better term. I can't say exactly what it is. But the degradation of my brain's computational ability has continued. I've run several simulations. My most optimistic projection is that it will last for five more years before disintegrating completely. Realistically, it's more likely to take a year, and I'll be incoherent long before then." She stopped again. There was still stunned shock on everyone's faces. Yoshimi had tears running from her eyes. Mama-san was gripping the arms of her chair very tightly. Finally, Ryunosuke spoke. "Surely there's something we can do to keep your brain from being overstressed. Move most of the load to your processors, redesign the interface...." "I've thought of that. I've made some notes which can perhaps be used if another cyborg is ever created. But it's too late for me. The damage has been done. Even if my brain were taken completely out of the loop, it would still degrade. And medical science is nowhere near being able to regenerate brain cells." Atsuko looked over to Papa-san. "Don't waste your time trying, Father. You could as well invent a way to travel faster than light. I don't want my last few months of life spent watching you destroy yourself trying to find an answer that doesn't exist." Those last words set off Yoshimi. She began sobbing, and pulled Ryonuske to her, clutching at him as she sobbed into his shoulder. Ryunouske tried to calm her, but he began to cry himself, and instead clutched her just as tightly. Atsuko went over and crouched in front of them. "Please don't be too sad. These years of existence I've had have been more precious than whatever lifetime I could have had as a cat. I've lived as a cat, and I've lived as a human, and soon I will live in another existence. I'm just moving along, maybe a little more rapidly than you, but it's a small price to pay for having gotten to know you and love you. Please, be happy that we found love with each other. I would not trade that love for anything, not for one more minute of life." Yoshimi and Ryunosuke looked at her. Atsuko could see them try to be brave for her. Yet, she could hear Mama-san begin to cry behind her, and that only started Yoshimi again. Atsuko stood up, beginning to panic. This was what she had been afraid of, what had filled her with anger and despair like she'd never felt before. Not that she was going to die, but that her death would cause those she loved so much pain. She went over to Mama-san and knelt in front of her. "Mother, please, I..." "Don't call me that!" Mama-san's voice was harsh and guttural through her sobs. Atsuko frowned. "Why not?" "I killed you! I was the one who sent them after you, I was the one who put that bullet in you, I was the one who did this to you." Mama-san covered her face with her hands. Atsuko smiled softly and gently pulled her hands away. "Do you know, Mother, that alley cats live an average of three years? If it hadn't been for that... series of circumstances, I would be dead already. In the meantime, I got to know you and love you. That's a great gift, and I thank you for that, Mother." She pulled Mama-san into a hug. Mama-san clutched her and sobbed, and Atsuko made soothing sounds. After a while, Atsuko lifted her head to look at Papa-san. Mama- san turned to look at him, too. Papa-san was just sitting in his chair, staring straight ahead, not reacting at all. Atsuko looked at Mama-san, who nodded and pushed her away. Atsuko went over to Papa-san and sat on his lap, putting her arms around his neck and resting her head against his shoulder. "How are you feeling, Papa-san?" His voice seemed to come from a great distance. "I should have seen it, should have known. I should have kept it from happening. At the very least, I should have been monitoring, watching for signs of degradation. I would have been able to stop it if I had known." Atsuko shifted slightly. "Papa-san, you just told me that adding a few new components to an already-existing system can produce results you don't expect. How then can you predict what will happen in an entirely new system, using thousands of components in a design never tested? I've seen other companies' attempts at creating a cyborg. I even saw Mother's company try to reproduce a cyborg from the fundamentals of your design. They all failed, because they were trying to make a brain operate a machine within certain very narrow parameters. *You* tried to make me human, with no limits at all. And you succeeded." She squeezed her cheek against his. "You made me, Natsume Atsuko, out of what had once been Nuku Nuku. No one else in the world could have. You lifted me up higher than I can ever have dreamed possible, allowed me to live for longer than I would have normally. Please, Papa- san, don't hate yourself for not being able to predict the unpredictable. Instead, be happy like I am that I got to live this life at all. Rejoice in what you accomplished. Please." She nuzzled her nose in his ear. "Don't be sad because of me. I want you to be happy that I lived because of you. As happy as I am that you made me." She took one of her hands and turned his head so that they were face to face. "Please, Papa-san?" Papa-san stared and stared at her. Then she saw his eyes begin to water. He spoke in a voice husky with emotion. "Nuku Nuku." He hugged her tightly, and Atsuko smiled and laughed a little, glad that she had gotten through to him. She heard movement, and looked up to see everyone else standing around the chair. There were still tears being shed, but everyone was smiling, and she smiled happily back at them. It hadn't turned out as bad as she'd feared. She knew enough to know that there was still going to be a lot of pain and sadness yet to come, but she knew now that the family would survive intact, because they had each other and their love, and she knew that her love would live in them. Finally Papa-san let her go, and they both stood up. Atsuko looked around, unsure of what to do next. Mama-san spoke tentatively, sadly. "How is Kei?" Atsuko's smile grew sad. "He is hurting, too. He still wanted to marry me, but I told him it wouldn't be good. We wanted to get married so that we could be together and raise a family, not so that he could watch me die. He's still going to come around and we're still in love and I'll want to be with him, but there will come a time when I will tell him to go away and not come back, because I don't want his last memory of me to be one of watching me break down. He still wanted to stay with me, but I made him promise. He didn't like it, but it will be better for him, I think." "Oh god." Mama-san began sobbing again. This time, Papa-san reached over and took her in his arms, and they clutched at each other. They stood there for another minute, before Atsuko decided that they needed to move beyond this moment and on to the next. She was determined to make all of her moments happy ones, just as they had been all along. "I'm going to go make a picnic dinner. We'll go outside and sit in the grass and chase the ants away and have fun." She beamed at everyone. "Who else wants sardines in their sandwiches?" This drew a weak laugh from Ryunosuke. "I think you'll be the only one who wants that." Atsuko beamed at him. "You never can tell. Everyone go get changed while I make the sandwiches." They all nodded, although Mama-san and Papa-san didn't move, still holding each other. Atsuko left the room, slowly followed by Yoshimi and Ryunosuke. They turned to go up the stairs while Atsuko made her down the hall to the kitchen. *** The picnic was not turning out well. Atsuko munched on another sandwich, trying to find a way to lift the depressed silence that filled the air. For some reason, trying to act bubbly and bright like she normally did wasn't helping. She looked at the sandwich, trying to figure out why it would be that way. She should be able to reason it out, somehow. When the sandwich didn't provide her with any answers, she finished eating it. She looked around to see that no one else was eating. They were all looking down, occasionally sighing heavily. Atsuko decided to try something else. "I know! I'm going to make some flower chains, like I did the first time we lived here. Remember, Mother?" Mama-san nodded, not lifting her eyes from the plate in front of her. Atsuko fought on. "I'll make some for everyone!" She leapt to her feet. "That sounds like a good idea." Yoshimi's voice was strangely quiet and thoughtful. "Ryunosuke, help me make one for Atsuko." "Uh, sure." Ryunosuke dropped the potato chip he'd been studying closely and climbed to his feet while pulling Yoshimi to hers. Atsuko beamed. This was progress. "Okay! Meet you back here!" She ran off into the surrounding fields, picking the wild flowers that grew in the grass. She had made one necklace and was working on another before she realized that Ryunosuke and Yoshimi were not in the field. She looked around, trying to remember when she had last seen them. She'd seen Yoshimi take hold of Ryunosuke's hand and lead him deliberately to a nearby group of trees. Atsuko smiled and quickly finished the second necklace. She ran over to the trees, wanting to surprise them. She bounded around a tree and came to a halt as she saw them. Yoshimi was staring into Ryunosuke's eyes, her expression very serious. Ryunosuke looked puzzled, but he was staring at her with equal intensity. Neither one of them noticed Atsuko standing about ten meters away. "Ryunosuke." Atsuko could barely hear Yoshimi, but she heard enough to know that something was wrong. Yoshimi was speaking angrily, something she never did. Atsuko turned up the gain on her ears, wondering if she needed to talk to them, try to make them happier before they said or did something bad. Ryunosuke swallowed, now looking a little afraid. "Yes, Yoshimi?" Yoshimi still sounded mad. "It's time we stopped pretending." If anything, the surprise and fear in Ryunouske's voice increased. "Pretending what?" "You know perfectly well 'what'. We can't play these games any more, we can't afford to wait. Atsuko has reminded me of how precious every moment is, and why silly denial is so pointless." Yoshimi reached over to take Ryunosuke's hands. "I want her to see us married." Ryunosuke's jaw dropped open. Yoshimi went on, her words forcefully, passionately delivered. "I want to show her our baby and say to her, 'This is your child. You made this baby possible, and we will raise this child for you, but we'll always tell your child about you, about how your love made all things possible, and your spirit will live on in this child.'" Yoshimi raised Ryunosuke's hands in front of her face. "I want to tell her that, Ryunosuke. I love you." She kissed his hand. "I don't want to hear any denials from you. We don't have the time." Atsuko could see Ryunosuke trembling. The silence stretched for two minutes before Ryunosuke swallowed and spoke. "Yoshi-chan, are... are you sure? I mean, is this... the right reason... I mean...." "I told you we don't have time!" Yoshimi threw Ryunosuke's hands down and stepped closer to him so that her face was close to his. "I love you. I want to marry you. I've always wanted to marry you, even when we were kids. Your sister has taught me that love is all that matters. I want us to share our love with each other so that we can share it with her as well." Yoshimi was trembling now too, her voice shaking with her body. "Do you love me, Ryunosuke? It doesn't mean anything if you don't love me. Do you?" Ryunosuke closed his eyes, opened them again. He spoke in a fierce voice. "Yes." Yoshimi nodded once. "Good. Then let's get on with it." Ryunsoke gave her a hard smile and spoke in a voice still hoarse with emotion. "I... I've been a fool, holding this part of myself back from you for so long. You're right; Atsuko taught me to be better than that. I promise, Yoshi-chan, never to hold anything back from you ever again. I love you. I want to marry you, and quickly, too. For Atusko's sake. And our own." They began to kiss each other ferociously. Atsuko smiled and silently turned away, trying to give them some privacy. She skipped on her way back to the field, and decided that her goal would be to live long enough to see Yoshimi give birth. It was important to Yoshimi and Ryunosuke, so it was important to Atsuko, too. "Kei! I am so glad to see you!" Atsuko froze in place, realizing two things: that she had forgotten to turn down the gain in her audio inputs, and that Kei had come back to the mansion. She wavered, unsure what to do. "Thank you, Natsume-sama. I... my parents took it pretty well, and they're very supportive, but I... I need to be with Atsuko. As much as possible, before...." Kei trailed off, the misery quite evident in his voice. Mama-san's voice was full of pain, too. "I understand. Please, come over as often as you like. In fact, you could stay at the mansion. No one will object, and I'll bet Atsuko would love it. You don't have to start work for me right away, I can wait a few months." "Natsume-sama, there is no longer a need for me to work for you. If I am not to be a member of your family, I do not need to be an employee of your company." Mama-san answered quickly, forcefully. "I seem to remember telling you that I didn't hire you because of any kind of nepotism. I hired you because I thought you were competent." "But, Natsume-sama." Kei's voice sounded almost irritated. "I just don't think it's right. Part of the reason you gave me this job is so that I would feel confident enough to marry your daughter. Now that the marriage isn't going to happen, I feel like... you're letting me work for you out of pity." "Enough!" Atsuko had heard Mama-san be angry before. Lots of times, actually. But never had one word conveyed so much anger at once; Atsuko cringed from the force of it, even though it wasn't directed at her. Mama-san continued in a calmer, but still angry, tone of voice. "I have considered you to be a part of our family since the day you asked my permission to marry Atsuko. The fact that the marriage has been called off due to circumstances beyond your control does not change your status in my eyes. You are still a part of the family. I like you very much, and look forward to working with you. Because you're competent, and because you were able to capture my daughter's heart. Don't you dare question that, now or ever." Silence for a few seconds, before Kei spoke in a subdued tone of voice. "Yes, Natsume-sama." Mama-san's amused tone of voice was quite a change from the sharpness she'd been using before. "You keep forgetting to call me Mother-in-law." Kei laughed, and Atsuko could hear equal parts of humor, relief, and love in his laugh, a short moment of light shining through the sadness and mourning. "I'm sorry, Mother-in-law. It won't happen again." "Good. Now, sit next to me and have some sandwiches. Atsuko will be very put out if we don't finish all the food she made, and she tends to make more than ten people could consume. She forgets that the rest of us get bigger the more we eat." Atsuko sighed in relief and turned down the gain. The picnic was working out after all. She wasn't sure why, and she thought about it for a while. She laughed when she found the answer. Like Yoshimi had said, love made all things possible, and as long as the goals were reasonable, Atsuko knew she could accomplish anything. * * * Kyusaku walked into the bedroom. "Atsuko, we're going to the hospital to see Ryunosuke's son. Do you want to come?" Atsuko was staring out the window. It took her a few seconds, but she turned at his voice. She looked at him, her expression totally blank, before turning back to the window and looking outside. Kyusaku made a small, sad sound. She had good days and bad days. This was a bad day. Actually, she hadn't had a good day for a while, and he was fairly certain she would never have a one again. He'd been so hoping that she would be able to hold on long enough to see the baby born. Kyusaku steeled himself before his thoughts collapsed into another vicious circle of depression and loss. He went over, took Atsuko's arm, and gently pulled on it. As always, she responded by rising out of her chair and walking in the direction he moved her in. He was fairly certain she'd programmed herself to respond this way, before she became incapable of writing programs. Kyusaku guided her down the stairs and to his Land Rover. He was able to get her to sit in the passenger's seat before he put himself behind the wheel and took off. The hospital was a bit of a drive; the Mishima mansion was set in the middle of a vast estate, as far away from civilization as it could be in Japan. Kyusaku drove in silence, constantly looking over at Atsuko. She was staring out the window. The only time she made any kind of reaction was when she saw a dog in a passing car. Then she leaned forward and made an inquisitive sound, not a meow but not a coherent word either. She looked after the car until it was lost in the distance; then she settled back in her chair and looked at the passing scenery again. They eventually reached the hospital. Kyusaku parked and helped Atsuko out of the car. He guided her through the hospital to Yoshimi's room. Atsuko looked curiously at the people around her but didn't say anything. Akiko and Ryunosuke were already in the room when they arrived. Yoshimi was in bed, holding her day-old son. She smiled at Atsuko, and Kyusaku could see the sadness mixed with the happiness. "Atsuko!" Yoshimi's voice was cheerful, with a touch of strain. "I'm so glad you came!" Atsuko looked around at everyone. Her neutral expression didn't change. She ended by looking at Kyusaku. He was her favorite focus when she didn't have a window to look out of. Kyusaku sighed and guided Atsuko next to Yoshimi. "Look, Atsuko. It's your nephew. The one you were always so excited about seeing." Kyusaku knew the words were a useless attempt to generate a reaction out of her. He couldn't help himself. Atsuko had been so determined to stay coherent until Yoshimi gave birth. She hadn't been able to stave off the degradation of her brain, unfortunately. Ryunosuke took his son from Yoshimi and carefully held him out to Atsuko. With Kyusaku's help, they got her to hold him. "Here he is, Atsuko. The newest member of the family." "He's your child, Atsuko." Yoshimi was trying to speak strongly, but Kyusaku could already see the tears forming. "You made him possible, and we will raise him for you. We'll tell him all about your life, about how your love made all things p-possible..." Yoshimi was beginning to lose it, her voice trembling, and the tears flowing faster. She fought through the sobs. "...and your spirit will live on in him." She finally broke down, and Akiko reached down to squeeze her shoulder, offering comforting words even as she cried herself. Kyusaku studied Atsuko carefully. She was examining the baby closely. She looked confused, and her brow was quite furrowed. She appeared to be struggling with something. Finally, she looked up at Yoshimi. "Is it a boy or a girl?" Atsuko's word had a visible affect. A wave of shock spread through the room; it was the first coherent sentence she'd spoken in a month. "A b-boy," Yoshimi finally managed to stammer out. Atsuko smiled. "He's beautiful, just as I knew he would be. I'm glad you had this child for me, and I'm glad that I was alive to see him. You can tell him all about his Aunt Atsuko, and how much she loved him, and how much she enjoyed seeing him when he was born." She looked back and forth between Ryunosuke and Yoshimi. "I know you will be wonderful parents, because I've seen the love between you blossom and grow, and I know that the love you two share will make life wonderful for everyone, especially your son." She looked over at Akiko. "Mama-san, I know that you'll watch over everyone, like you always have. As he grows up, teach him the same things you taught me about being human and having a family and what different kinds of love there are. I was lucky to have you as my Mama-san, and I know this baby is lucky to have you as his Grandmama-san." Atsuko turned slightly, still holding the baby carefully, to look into Kyusaku's eyes. "Papa-san, you have so much to give, so much of yourself that you share with people around you. You care so deeply about everyone; teach your grandson the same thing. Teach him what you taught me: that every part of yourself that you give to other people returns to you a hundredfold." She looked around at everyone, smiling happily. "If you all can do that, then this really will be my child, for he will have had all of the love and attention I had when I was learning to be human. He will be happy, and joyful, and loving, and everything I was. Because everything I was, was due to all of you. And it was good, my life was good because of you. Make life good for this boy, too." Atsuko looked down at the baby. "I will watch over him, too, now and forever. I love all of you, and I love this baby." No one dared to breathe. Atsuko continued to hold the baby and smile. Finally, Kyusaku reached over to touch her arm. "Atsuko?" She looked up at him, her smile fading. She stared at him blankly, then looked down at the baby again, her smile returning, although with less force than before. "It had to be a programmed response." This from Ryunouske, his voice slightly awed. "She knew she wasn't going to make it, so she set up this series of responses, to be triggered when she saw the baby." Kyusaku nodded. "There's still a part of Atsuko in there. She needed to be able to trigger the program, to know that the baby was Yoshimi's. This wasn't just a recording. It *was* Atsuko speaking to us." They all looked at Atsuko holding the baby. It was an image Kyusaku wanted to burn into his mind; the sight of his daughter holding his grandson. The baby, which had been sleeping all the while, finally woke and began fussing. Ryunosuke gently took the baby from Atsuko. Atsuko made no move to stop him, and followed the baby with her eyes as he was given to Yoshimi for nursing. Akiko looked over at Kyusaku. "Let's give them some privacy." Kyusaku nodded, and guided Atsuko out of the room. Behind him, he could hear Yoshimi and Ryunosuke gently crying as they began to tell their son the story of Atusko's life. *** Kyusaku helped Atsuko out of the Land Rover and into the mansion. He led her to her room, all the time wondering. Wondering what to do now. His whole life up to that point had been dedicated to getting Atsuko to live to see Yoshimi's son born. Now that that was accomplished, he felt slightly adrift. He needed a new focus, and he had no idea where to begin. He took Atsuko to the chair by the window she always liked to sit in. At least, she had chosen to sit there when she had been capable of deciding where she wanted to be. Now, he placed her there in the hope that she was still enjoying it. He sat her down and turned to leave. "Papa-san." He turned, startled. Atsuko had stood up and turned to face him. He gasped, and knew in a flash what was about to happen. "You probably guessed that what I said to all of you after Yoshimi's son was born was programmed. This is another program. It's set to execute after I've seen the baby, and when you and I are alone in my room." Her smile was bright and wide. "Thank you ever so much for getting me this far. Inside, there's a part of me that is so happy to have seen the baby. As you know, it's what I lived for these past few months. Now, however, my life is complete. There is nothing more to accomplish, and to continue to live this way is torturous for everyone. For me, too. This isn't me, not any more. It's time I moved on to the next phase of existence. It's there that I'll be able to look out for Yoshimi's child, and for everyone else." She reached up to tap her forehead. "I have one last program I'm going to run. Please don't try to stop it. The person I truly am is dying with these last words I'm speaking. There are no other programs to run, nothing more I can accomplish other than to cause the people I love pain. Let there be an end, so that we can all move on." She walked up to him and kissed him on the cheek. "I love you, Papa-san. I always loved you best. You gave me life and intelligence and joy and love. I thank you for those truly wonderful gifts." She laughed, a sound of pure joy. "Nuku Nuku loves Papa-san." Kyusaku felt as if he was choking on the force of his repressed sobs. Tears flowed freely down his cheek as he stared at his daughter, standing there with her hands clasped in front of her, beaming at him. She was the most loving person he had ever known, and he couldn't imagine life without her. Atsuko nodded once and smiled the last of her love and life at him. Then her smile dimmed slightly as she closed her eyes. Kyusaku reached over and hugged her. Even though he felt like he was hugging a statue, his mind filled in the gaps, reminding him of the times when there had been life in this body, when it had hugged him back. He held on to those memories, determined to remember the joy as much as possible, knowing that eventually it would ease the pain and sorrow. For now, however, he sobbed as he held what used to be his daughter. * * * Hiro laboriously worked out each word. It was hard, but he kept at it. He had to do it for her sake. They had told him that Nuku Nuku was not coming to visit him ever again, that she had gone to join her ancestors. It made him feel sad, but he had been expecting it. Ever since that one visit. The words on the page got blurry as his eyes lost focus. He was remembering, the same thing he always remembered. Hiro looked up and smiled happily. "Nuku Nuku!" Nuku Nuku sat down. "How are you doing, Hiro? Have you been practicing your reading?" Hiro nodded. "Today I read for you! I'll get the book." He ran over and grabbed it, the big green book he had worked so hard at. Nuku Nuku sat on the big soft couch, and Hiro plunked down next to her. Sometimes people got nervous when he sat so close - he was bigger than most people, and they didn't like that - but Nuku Nuku never minded. This time, in fact, she snuggled up to him a little bit, putting her head on his arm as she looked at the book. "Are you ready to read it now?" Hiro looked at her curiously. "Why is Nuku Nuku so friendly?" She blinked a couple of times, then smiled. "I'm just feeling glad that I know you, Hiro. You have to remember that, Hiro. Remember that people may come and go, but the moments you spend with them and are happy are the best moments in life. I'm always happy to be here with you, and when I move on to my next life, I'll keep these memories with me, and rejoice." Hiro thought about that for a long time, then nodded. "I'm happy with Nuku Nuku, too. When I get smart like Nuku Nuku, I'll do like her and make other people happy, too." "Why wait?" She looked into his eyes. "You're smart enough. Smarter than me, remember. Try to make other people feel happy right now." Her eyes were a little sparkly. "If you can promise me you'll try to make people happy, it will make me feel ever so much better, Hiro." Hiro thought about it some more. "Okay, Nuku Nuku, I'll try. I'm not sure how to make people happy, though. But I'll do my best." "That's great, Hiro! That's all anyone can do." She smiled happily, then indicated the book. "Right now, you can make *me* happy by reading the book to me." Hiro smiled back. This was great, he knew he could do this. No one had ever made him as happy as Nuku Nuku did, and now he knew that she had filled him up so much that he had leftovers to give other people. And that made him almost as special as Nuku Nuku. Hiro turned to the book, opened it, and read it while Nuku Nuku clutched his arm and smiled. The words in the book came back into focus. Hiro sighed, wondering what he could do. He had made a promise to Nuku Nuku, and he didn't know how to keep it. She wasn't here any more to help him figure it out. Just this once, he had to figure it out on his own. Yuki came up and grabbed at the book. "Mine!" Hiro pulled it away. Yuki was nice sometimes, but a lot of the time she tried to take stuff away from him, even when she really didn't want it. He didn't like it when she did that. He scowled at her. "Go away! It's my book." Yuki looked hurt. She made another half-hearted grab for the book before turning away. Hiro nodded, satisfied. She hadn't put up as much of a fuss as usual. He could have the book all to himself. Except, he realized as he looked down at it, the book wasn't so much fun when it was just his. The book had been more fun when he shared it with Nuku Nuku. Hiro thought about it, then looked over to Yuki. "Wait! Come back here." Yuki turned, frowned, then slowly walked up to him. He smiled at her. "Sit down." She sat on the couch next to him, staring at him curiously. He opened the book. "This is a special book, one that contains words you can read. If you work hard and really practice, you can read it, too." Yuki shook her head vigorously. "No, I can't. I'm too stupid." Hiro frowned. "You're not stupid. You're smarter than I am!" Yuki looked at him somewhat dubiously, but with a little hope, too. Hiro smiled again. "I'll show you! I'll read it to you, and then I can show you how I read it, and then you can read it too!" "Really?" Yuki pulled her lip, then smiled. "Okay! You read first." Hiro turned to the first page and began reading the words to Yuki. As he read, he knew that Nuku Nuku was looking over his shoulder, reading with him and Yuki, and smiling her love like she always did. ~*~ AUTHOR'S AFTERWORD I wrote this in response to some C&C I got that I always write stories with happy endings, "Appearances" notwithstanding. Well, here's a story that doesn't end happily. In fact, I found myself crying while writing some parts. Oh darn, I've just revealed myself to be a wuss. While I'm at it, I'll just mention that Disney's "Beauty and the Beast" made me cry, too, and let you taunt me all you please. :) Seriously, this is the most depressing story I have ever written. I'm very interested to know what your opinions are, and if you hate me forever for allowing Nuku Nuku to die. The first draft had the final scenes in the hospital room and Atsuko's room cut; I wanted to end it with Atsuko still coherent, and maybe leave open a possibility for a cure or something. Not that I would do something as wish-washy as that; I would just sleep better at night knowing there was that loophole. :) I added the scenes back in when one of my prereaders felt that there was something missing, ending it like I did. So I added the scenes back, and another one of my prereaders felt that the scenes were too unnecessarily depressing. I want to know what you think; would it be better to leave out the final stages of Nuku Nuku's breakdown? Anyhoo, let me know if you read this, and what you thought of it, even if you hate it and me. :) -Richard