This is something a little different from the other crossovers you've no doubt seen. I've tried to catch the spirit of both worlds without making it too much like one or the other. Despite the names shared by these characters with their originals, the characters may not necessarily act the way their namesakes would. Keep it in mind. I've tried to make it a bit more mature, but still keeping a bit of absurdity to keep things interesting. Also keep in mind that there are quite a number of cameos from various sources. Spot them all and win a prize! (Not cash, sorry...) C&C, public or private will be greatly appreciated. Please send private C&C and any suggestions on the story to ebon@i-manila.com.ph. PART VI: Of Chaos Aforethought and Revealing Hindsight Ranko came home at around two in the morning... which it must be noted was pretty early for one of her dates. She stepped out of the limo and gave the driver a final cheerful wave before entering the gate. The chauffeur drove off, fanning himself vigorously he muttered, "The master certainly knows how to pick 'em..." Ranko, of course, did not bother with getting her own set of housekeys when Ranma and Akane were changing the locks. That was the sort of mundane... EARTHLY trivia that she refused to put up with... Not that she needed keys anyway, she preferred passing through the walls anyway. She phased through the wall and into the common area... she fully expected the remains of a hastily disgorged meal and maybe Saotome out cold from food poisoning. Or from getting coldcocked by Akane... it didn't matter... soon she'd be back in Heaven. As far away from him as possible... As she poked her head in, she saw that the television was still on. Whatever channel it had been on had long since signed off, but the black and white test pattern on the screen still provided some measure of light... just enough light to see that Ranma and Akane were both still there, asleep on the couch. Ranma had an arm around Akane shoulders, and she was resting her head on his chest, an arm wrapped around his waist. They were both snoring softly, practically in time with each other. Ranko's jaw dropped. This was not the way this was supposed to play out... Ranko stomped over to Akane and pulled her up off of Ranma, shaking her roughly to wake her up. "Wha--?" Akane mumbled as she slowly opened her eyes. "What is going on here?!" Ranko screamed, "I leave you two alone for a couple of hours and you're sleeping with him already?! Didn't you feed him the dinner you cooked?!" Akane nodded, still sleepy (otherwise Ranko would long since have been hammered into the floor), "Yes I did... he loved it. Your advice worked great Ranko, thanks..." "He's not mad at you anymore?" asked Ranko anxiously. Akane sleepily shook her head. "You two have made up?" Ranko added, a creeping tone of panic entering her voice... Akane nodded... Ranko released Akane's lapels in shock. A perfectly good... no a GREAT plan... shot to hell. Akane, who up until now did not fully comprehend what was going on suddenly realized that whatever had been holding her up was now gone and gravity was still in effect. She fell to the floor with a thud. Of course the impact did wonders to clear up any cobwebs... Akane sprang to her feet and grabbed Ranko by the neck. "What did you do that for Ranko?!" "I have just about had it!!" Ranko ranted, breaking out of Akane's grip, "Nothing I do is ever going to break the two of you up is it?!" "I thought you'd given up on that already?!" asked Akane, not really surprised. "Of course not!" Ranma snorted in his sleep at that proclamation... "You were lying again!" Akane replied, offended, "No wonder you haven't been promoted in so long!" Ranko cried, "Oh, shut up! Thanks to you and your boyfriend we'll never see home again! We could go home any time we want, but you keep clinging on to him and this stupid place! How can you be so selfish?!" "Me?" asked Akane incredulously, "Selfish?! Look who's talking!" The two goddesses merely glared angrily at each other... sparks of electricity leaping from both of them to ground into the nearby furniture... energy was beginning to swirl around both of them... Ranma, totally unaware of anything wrong, turned over in his sleep. Unseen by the two of them, the picture on the TV suddenly changed from the test pattern into what appeared to be some sort of news show... the newscaster was an attractive brunette woman with short hair. From off camera, a piece of paper was handed to her and she said, "And this just in: Two goddesses nearly destroyed a temple in the Nekomi residential district, but tragedy was narrowly averted by the timely arrival of a third goddess... The two continued to glare at each other, their auras intensifying. "AHEM!" the newscaster said from the TV, tapping on the inside of the screen, "Hello, out there..." Surprised the two women turned to stare at the TV, their aura's guttering out. "Say isn't that..." said Akane Ranko peered closer, "She looks awfully familiar." The newscaster shrugged at them from the screen, "Now, girls. Is that any way to treat family?" "Nabiki?" Akane and Ranko cried simultaneously. The anchor woman took a step forward... or she seemed to, because all of a sudden her head had popped out of the TV screen. She smiled at the two goddesses and said, "That's me. The one and only." Her fingers suddenly pushed out of the sides of the screen and grasped the edges. Almost effortlessly, she pulled herself entirely out of the screen and stood in front of the TV for a moment, dusting herself off. She muttered to herself, "Cheap, broken down five year old model TV... " Ranko blurted out, "What are you doing here?" "Now, now, Ranko... is that anyway to greet your favorite goddess?" "I'd greet you with a flamethrower, only they wouldn't issue me one down here," Ranko muttered. Akane smiled, "It's good to see you Nabiki." "You too Akane," Nabiki replied warmly, "So how's my little sister and my favorite cousin?" "I'm your only cousin," Ranko muttered. "Details, details..." Nabiki replied airily. "We're okay, but what ARE you doing here?" Akane asked. Nabiki smiled impishly, "I'll tell you-" "Here we go again," Ranko muttered. "- if someone gets me something cold to drink... you two didn't leave a forwarding address, it took me a while to find this place." "I'll get it," Ranko said as she headed for the kitchen, "The sooner we find out what she wants, the better..." Nabiki watched Ranko walk off and commented to Akane, "She never changes does she?" "Nope." Akane replied. The older woman looked around the room, "Nice place, Akane." "Thanks." "Is this Saotome?" Nabiki asked, peering into Ranma's face, "He's even cuter in person. His picture on file doesn't do him justice," she cupped his chin in her hands and moved his head back and forth somewhat to see his profile better. Akane felt a surge of jealousy and she snapped, "Yeah, he is, now stop doing that..!" Ranma, of course, chose this point to wake up. He found himself staring at a very attractive brunette woman in her mid-twenties. Her hair was bobbed and on her face were marks very similar to the ones Akane and Ranko had. She was dressed in a rather conservative outfit reminiscent of a woman's business suit, but more flowing. She had a hand on his cheek and seemed to be smiling hungrily at him. "Good evening, Saotome-san," she said warmly. Ranma, in a panic tried to look around and realized that Akane was looking at them with a 'someone will pay for this' look in her eye. Eager to avoid conflict, Ranma tried to pull away from the woman. Unfortunately he was sitting on the couch at the time. He managed to upset the couch, forcing it flip over... and unfortunately carrying Nabiki with him. Akane winced as the couch's back crashed on the floor. Her look of concern was clouded by a look of anger as she saw Nabiki sprawled on top of Ranma in a rather compromising position. "Gak!" was all Ranma managed to blurt out, before he realized that his face was pressed into Nabiki's ample front. Nabiki chuckled as she pulled herself up a little, "Oh my, Saotome, you are a fast worker aren't you?" "Nabiki! Get off of him!" Akane roared. "Now what?" asked Ranko as she walked back into the room with a glass of water. She caught sight of Nabiki in a tangled heap with Ranma and laughed out loud, "Way to go, Nabiki!" "Ranko stop encouraging them!" Akane snapped as she helped the two up. Nabiki dusted herself off and said to Ranma, "That was some welcome Saotome..." "Er.. who are you?" he asked. Nabiki produced a business card which she handed over to Ranma, "I'll let you have that information for free. Nabiki Tendo. Goddess of Transactions, 1st rank, 2nd Category. Currently attached to the Divine Contracts Enforcement Office. I'm also Akane's sister and Ranko's cousin." Ranma read over the card, "Er... right... so what are you--?" Ranko pushed the glass in front of Nabiki, "Here you go. Now tell us why you're here." Nabiki accepted the glass and smiled at Ranko, "Thank you. I'm here because your contracts are under review. We're trying to determine if there was some fault in the system for accepting those two weird contracts." "U-u-under review?!" Akane sputtered. "Alright!" cried Ranko, "The enforcement system is going to be shut off for the duration of the review right?" Nabiki nodded, "Of course." Ranko grinned cattily, "Yessss..." "What's going on?" Ranma asked. Akane turned to Ranma in a panic, "She's reviewing our contracts with you! If she decides that the contracts shouldn't be kept, they'll both be terminated and I'll have to go back up to heaven!" Ranko cast an irritated glance at Akane, "Oh, stop whining..." "Ranko, stop picking on Akane!" Ranma replied. Nabiki grinned and shook her head, "Not exactly the scene of domestic tranquillity I'd hoped for..." All three paused at Nabiki's statement before she continued evenly, "This is not going to look good..." Akane quickly walked to Ranma's side and grabbed him by the waist, "We're not fighting are we?" she asked sweetly. Ranma still somewhat disoriented merely nodded. Ranko said snidely, "They're lying, we fight like this all the time." "I see." Nabiki said finally, "Well, I just wanted to inform you about it and I'll be acting as an observer for tomorrow. If you need me here's the number of the hotel I'll be staying at..." she passed another piece of paper to Akane. Ranko read the paper over Akane's shoulder, "Say, isn't that the number of that quickie love motel near the ma... erhm..." said Ranko. "How'd you know about that?" asked Ranma. Nabiki smiled at Akane, "Unless you have a better suggestion?" "Um... why not stay here?" Akane offered. Better stay on her good side, Akane reasoned. "What?" asked Ranko. Ranma smiled sleepily, "Sure, why not..? We've got some extra futons around here somewhere..." Nabiki replied, "Why, thank you. You won't even notice I'm here." Ranko muttered to Ranma and Akane, "You're making a big mistake..." "What was that, Ranko?" Nabiki asked sweetly. "Oh, nothing," Ranko replied just as sweetly, "Nothing at all, dear cousin..." As Ranma went off to look for the spare futon, he couldn't help but think that somehow... some way... he was going to be the one who would end up in trouble because of this... It was at lunch the following morning that Ranma found out just how accurate his assessment was. He was eating lunch in the quad with Ryoga, Mousse and Shampoo. Ryoga and Mousse were arguing over whether or not the club had sufficient funds to get through the next semester. Shampoo was, as usual, siding with Mousse. Ranma was quite intelligently ignoring the discussion altogether and was busily demolishing the lunch Akane had prepared for him. It looked like something the cat had dragged in and jumped on and there was a rather strange aftertaste, but was otherwise pretty tasty. No one had any idea where Nabiki had disappeared to after helping her get settled in for the night and he and Akane had left Ranko still asleep. Akane was worried and wanted to stay with Ranma all day, but she was working at Ucchan's new branch in the cafeteria today and they couldn't afford for her to take a day off. She would be joining them in a short while, but Akane's apprehension had already begun to affect Ranma. After a few more minutes of arguing Ryoga suddenly turned to Ranma and said, "This is all your fault Ranma!" Ranma was just finishing off the last of his lunch as he turned to Ryoga, "What are you talking about, now?" "Thanks to you, the Martial Arts Varsity's funds have been reduced to next to nothing!" Mousse added. "Now, now, Mousse-sempai... if Hibiki-sempai no sell Saotome- sempai stuff in first place, you no have to use club money to buy back, yes?" Shampoo gently chided, "So is all Hibiki-sempai fault." "Hey, it was Mousse's idea in the first place to sell off Ranma's stuff!" Ryoga shot back. "Is still you own stupid fault. Mousse-sempai no do something stupid thing like that." Ranma rolled his eyes, "What do you guys expect me to do about it? I'm barely making ends meet as is..." "Well we could always rent you out to the Portraiture club, like last time..." Ryoga replied. Mousse nodded, "Yes, I hear the nude of you that Kodachi did is still hanging in their clubhouse under strict guard." "No way! I am NOT posing for them again!" Ranma replied blushing furiously, "Akane would kill me!" "Or we could raffle you off..." Mousse mused, "It's for the good of the club, I'm sure Akane will understand..." "That's not it! Don't you-" the rest of Ranma's tirade was interrupted as he was suddenly tackled by Ranko and caught in a fierce hug. This of course got quite a number of curious onlookers talking... juicy rumors about Ranma were always a welcome treat to the students of NIT. Within a few seconds the entire school was buzzing. "Gah!" Ranma cried out. He berated himself mentaly for not being more alert! Now everyone would know about his problem... he was preparing to leap away before the others noticed the transformation when he realized that he was still male. He blinked in surprise, "What's going on..?" Ranko snuggled in his lap, her arms wrapped tightly around his neck, "What does it look like, Darling... I'm enjoying your company... I've sooo missed having your arms around me, my love..." Mousse smiled as he peered at the blurry form on Ranma's lap, "Oh, hello Akane." Shampoo blurted, "Ai-yah," softly. Ryoga frowned, "Saotome what is the meaning of this? Have you been going out with Ranko behind Akane's back?!" "Get offa me!!" cried Ranma as he tried desperately to push Ranko away. Her grip however was quite firm, she continued pulled him close and rubbed herself against him. "Oohh, Darling you're so manly," Ranko cried. Ryoga cracked his knuckles dangerously, "As a friend to both you and Akane I am giving you exactly one minute to explain your actions... otherwise, I'm going to not only beat you up personally, but I'll tell Akane so she can beat you up too..." "It's not what it looks like..!" Ranma blurted out. Ranko interrupted him , "Oh, come now, my love surely you aren't ashamed of our relationship..." "What relationship?! We don't have one! Now look--" From across the quad a fierce cry erupted, "Saotome you accursed fiend! Let no other women suffer degradation at your hands! Get your filth ridden hands away from the immaculate Pig-Tailed Goddess now or suffer the direst of consequences!!!" Ranma looked up just in time to see a veritable horde of men in athletic gear charging at him. A few were easily recognizable as being members of the Akane Tendo fanclub. The intellectual minority of the members had decided to ask Akane out instead of going after Satotome, which was precipitating another riot in the cafeteria, but at that time, Ranma didn't know about that. Others were members of the Combat Athletics club that Ranma had managed to defeat in competition before... the majority however were in fact irate boyfriends of women who were still in love with Ranma. Rumors of his breakup with Akane which had reached them yesterday had made them resolve to take care of the problem once and for all by getting rid of Ranma. At their head was Kuno, now attired in his Kendo practice outfit and wielding a bokken, "I swear this on my name as the Blue Thunder of Nekomi Tech that you shall never have her! Forward my men! Forward!" Even Ryoga looked in shock as the human tidal wave surged forward, most of them swinging various improvised weapons. Shampoo had the presence of mind to pull her Mousse-sempai out of the way and into a nearby tree. Ryoga was less fortunate however and got trampled by the Ranma Saotome Destruction squad. Ranma didn't even bother to wait for the explanation which would probably not come anyway. He ran for it, carrying Ranko without thinking. "What the hell is going on here?!?!?!?" he cried as he dashed across the campus, Ranko still in his arms. More people turned to watch the spectacle. Fortunately for Ranma, the sheer size of the mob slowed them down considerably. "Whee!" Ranko cried, clinging even tighter to his neck and squirming fetchingly, "This is fun, Ranma! Go faster!" "I'd be going faster if you weren't clinging on to me like a leech!" Ranma responded furiously as he ducked into a building. Ranko laughed out loud, "They'll never catch up with you! Whee!" He grumbled under his breath and took a glance at his pursuers... they were just starting to close in, but the close quarters of the hallway that they'd entered was slowing them down even more... "What's going on here?! Why are they after me?! And why haven't I transformed?!" Ranma asked, still running for his life. "Well..." said Ranko airily, enjoying the feel of the wind rushing through her hair and Ranma holding her, "In the order that you asked them, There's a mob chasing you... they don't like you... and as long as the contracts are under review, there won't be any interference from the system force." "What does that mean?!" Ranma asked desperately, turning another corner. "What it means is that none of the usual safeguards are in place to prevent you and Akane from being separated... and you don't have to transform every time I touch you!" Ranko replied, "Which means I can do this!" She suddenly tightened her embrace and pulled his face down to hers, drawing him into a deep kiss even as he was running. Ranma in his surprise stumbled, pitching forward. At the last minute he was able to roll the two of them, allowing him to take the brunt of the fall. The shock of the fall pushed Ranko soft body even closer against him... Ranma's mind had long since gone into shock... Ranko finally stopped the kiss, not really because she wanted to, but largely because she needed some air. She was still straddling him in the middle of the hallway floor as she finally sighed happily, "That was wonderful... you have no idea how long I've been meaning to do that." "R-r-r-ranko!" he stammered. His mind at this point had already forgotten entirely about the mob of boys, which had fortunately managed to miss them. Unfortunately, the mob of women who'd been looking for Ranma since classes started turned the corner. "There he is!" cried one of the women. "Is it really true?! Have you really broken up with Akane? "Oh my God... is that Ranko on top of him?!" "In the hallway no less!" "Get off my foot!" "Get off of him Ranko, he's mine!" "No he's not! He's mine! "Back off you hussy!" "Now you're stepping on my other foot, stop that!" "He's mine I tell you!" Ranma merely watched in bewildrement... Ranko smiled at him then grinned at the women, "Now, now, ladies... Ranma Saotome is man enough for all of us, wouldn't you agree? I propose we share..." This, of course, precipitated a stampede, as each woman rushed forward to grab her own piece of Ranma. Of course, all the noise attracted the male half of the mob, still howling for blood. Of course the inevitable riot broke out. Ranma finally came to consciousness a few hours later. He looked around and realized finally that he was in the infirmary. It was a place he was very familiar with. He'd visited it so often during his freshman year that the school doctor, Dr. Tofu, had offered to reserve one of the beds just for him. He muttered darkly, "What did I do to deserve this?" and gave a start at the sound of his own voice. With a resigned sigh, Ranma brought a hand up to feel his chest and realized that she'd been using the wrong pronoun to think of herself again. A glance up at the stray strands of red hair confirmed her suspicions that she was Ranko's twin, yet again. She frowned in thought... If Ranko's touch didn't transform me earlier... then what am I doing as a woman now?" She flipped off the bed easily, taking a mental inventory of all her body parts, in particular the ones with any serious complaints... all of the usual parts were there... for a girl, she corrected himself. She also realized that she was now dressed in some sort of a hospital gown (No wonder its so drafty, she noted), the shredded remnants of her jeans and T-shirt piled on a nearby chair. Nothing seemed to be amiss aside from a bit of stiffness and dull aches over most of her body, but something still didn't seem quite right... even leaving aside his current gender. It was quiet. That's what it was... that's what was bugging her. It was too quiet. Even given a couple of hours to die down, the riot shouldn't have calmed down that fast. She couldn't even hear the usual hustle and bustle of the students... nor the cars just outside... She glanced up at the wall clock and noted that it was still fairly early. By rights there should still have been a good many people milling about the quad, deciding what to do after classes, but a quick glance outside also confirmed the lack of people... she was beginning to feel the first faint stirrings of paranoia as she searched the room. “Saotome, you are a mess,” came a voice from the door, “How this contract got past us in the first place I will never know.” Ranma turned to find Nabiki smiling at her. “What’s going on here?” Ranma demanded. “Interview time, Saotome. Sorry about that mess earlier, but this was the only way I could get you alone.” “What do you mean?” “I’m the Goddess of Transactions. I can do quite a lot, but my power is always balanced out. To get quiet, I have to make noise. So if I wanted you alone, I had to give you lots of company first...” “D’you mean that was your fault?!” Ranma asked heatedly. Nabiki nodded, “Would you rather I’d dragged you into some dark corner somewhere to talk?” Nabiki gave a knowing grin, “What would Akane think?” Ranma thought about it. Then thought about it some more... then finally decided to keep quiet. “Okay, Saotome. Question time. I ask you answer. Give me two good reasons each why Heaven should let Akane and Ranko stay here.” “And if I can’t?” “It’ll be a point against you. Trust me you don’t want those.” “Um... Do they have to be good reasons?” Nabiki nodded. “Well... Akane is... she’s... I...” Nabiki closed her eyes for a moment... then smiled, “She loves you and you love her. That’s two good reasons. What about Ranko?” “Hey! Stop reading my mind!” “It’s an interview Saotome. We’re allowed to read the client’s mind during an interview... now about Ranko?” Ranma scratched the back of her head thoughtfully, “She’s... nah... she... um... nope... that’s not it...” Nabiki’s eyes widened slightly, “Well... interesting...” “I thought I told you not to do that!” “She needs to open up more to people... and she’s in love with you... again, two very good reasons...” “She’s not in love with me!” blurted Ranma, before remembering the kiss... Nabiki shook her head lightly, “We aren’t allowed to lie... too many lies cause bad things to happen to us... Ranko used up her lie quota a while back... she was telling the truth.” She became thoughtful, “No wonder she was so happy about lifting the contract enforcement...” Ranma nodded, largely confused. “Do you want the two of them to stay?” Nabiki asked suddenly. “I want Akane to stay... but Ranko always complains that she wants to go home, so I’d like her to have what she wants...” Nabiki sighed, “I wish it were that simple, but we can’t send Ranko back without sending Akane back... but we can send Akane back and leave Ranko here... The contracts that got sent up were very tricky...” “Um... maybe not...” Nabiki finally turned to Ranma and said, “Look... would you mind turning back into a guy while I think? You’re distracting me...” “But I can’t turn back unless Akane here...” “Not while the contract is unenforced. It’s just an act of will. You turned yourself into a girl earlier when the mob was trying to... ahem...” “Really? I can control it?” “I suppose... why don’t you try it?” Ranma closed his eyes and he felt the familiar sensations as his body began to stretch and broaden... “Hey... it worked. I’m a guy again...” Nabiki smiled sadly as she looked up at him, “I’ve got a decision. It won’t be recognized until I say it out loud, but I think it would be better if Ranko and Akane were here for this.” To be continued...