Ever think that there are some great ideas out there, and 
that they are never put together?  What if Ranma, instead of falling
into Nyannichuan "spring of drowned girl" fell into one of the
Kusenkyo pools.  A small thing though, I combined the two training
grounds into one big ground...with a couple of exceptions...:)  It
wouldn't be as funny if he didn't change into a girl (of some kind) so
I came up with this little thing.  (Sorry Scott, if some of what I
write comes too close to what you wrote:)

     Also, I will be writing from two perspectives.  One from 
Ranma's POV, and one an omniscient POV.  You will be able to tell
which is which(I hope).

     <this> will indicate when the speaker is talking in Chinese, or
any variant thereof. (as I can't spell very much (if any) in Chinese
so will use this where I can't use correct spelling of what I mean)
     [this] will be when the speaker is talking in English, or any
variant thereof.
     and *this* will indicate when the current person will be 
thinking.

     Something that I never did before...but I read in other 
stories. 

At the end of the chapter (or clip thereof) I will list the music
tracks that I listened to while writing this topsy-turvy story.

     Standard Disclaimers (Takahashi, Viz, etc.)

          Ranma 1/2
          Alternate Landings
          By Shadow Dancer(AKA Colin Hidson)
          Episode 1 - Part 1

     "Leave me alone!" I shout, as I run from my father.  *He 
doesn't care that I've got this curse, just wants to keep his
"precious" honor intact.  As if he had any honor to begin with!* I run
down the street, shouting back at him, "It's your fault that I got
this damn curse to begin with, and now I CAN'T EVEN GET RID OF IT!!!"
I slow down as I try to keep from crying.  It isn't manly. *Not that
"manly" can even apply to me anymore.* "I hate you!" I scream, as I
start getting back up to speed, "I hate you for taking me to China
without being able to speak Chinese!  I hate what you did to me!  I
hate you!"  I can't help it.  The tears are coming, whether I want
them or not.  *Damn this rain* I think, as I stop and look at myself,
*Damn it for changing my father into his cursed form...*  That's as
far as I get before something hits me in back of my head, and the
world goes black.

*****

     A man is holding a postcard emblazoned with a picture of a 
panda eating bamboo on the front.  The man looks up and we notice that
it is Soun.  "At last! Ranma is coming, finally!" Soun mumbles to
himself.  Then he gathers his breath and starts calling, "Kasumi! 
Nabiki! Akane!" (As you've probably read this seventeen zillion times
before, I will be skipping details unto the meeting of the Tendo's and
the Saotome's.)

     A panda came around the corner, holding a teenage boy that was
kicking and shouting "Put me down, Pops!  You're scaring them!"  The
panda then decided to put the boy down.
     Soun pointed at the boy and asked, "You...wouldn't...be?"
     The boy looked up at Soun, and then looked back down at the
floor, "I'm...Ranma Saotome.  Sorry about this."
     Soun grabs Ranma, "Ranma!  I have waited for this for so long!"
Ranma just pushes Soun away.
     "I'm sorry, but we should talk, first...Oyaji probably failed to
tell you the specific problems of the marriage.  If you could get some
hot water, I can explain everything."  Soun looks on happily while
ignoring everything Ranma says.

*****

     I'm sitting in the Tendo's living room.  I was hoping to stall
this, but to take this properly, I have to tell them.  Right out. 
*Damn, I hate doing what's right* I sigh as the oldest daughter walks
in with a kettle of hot water.  *I hope it isn't too hot.*  I stand
and retrieve the kettle from her.  She just smiles at me, and then
takes her place at the table.  "You're probably wondering at the panda
that brought me here.  Here's the simple truth.  That panda is my
father."  Everyone looks shocked, but I continue, "My father took us
to a training ground in China, called Jusenkyou.  My father and I were
about to start training when the guide said that the place was cursed.
 As my father rarely listens to anyone, we started training,
regardless."  I take this time to glare at my father, but continue,
"At first, we traded a few blows, but I got the first real hit in.  I
kicked him into one of the pools, which the guide later told us was
the spring of drowned panda.  Anyone who falls in turns into a panda
with cold water."
     Soun looks at me confused, "They change into a panda with cold
water, how do they change back?"
     I just pick up the kettle, and pour it on Father.  All the 
Tendo's look surprised, then Soun just shrugs and asks, "Well, do
_you_ change into anything with cold water?" I just shake my head,
then Soun nods, and then introduces his daughters.  Kasumi just
smiles.  Nabiki looks at me like I was a bank vault, or something. 
Akane just glares at me.
     Father claps me on the back, "Well, son?  Which do you choose?
Who will you marry?"
     Father forgot one point. "I'm not finished the story, so SIT BACK
DOWN" I growl.  Everyone looks startled, but settle back to listen.
Father is trying to shush me, so I throw him into the pond. "After
Oyaji jumped back onto the poles, I was startled, but I kept up.
Father tried a sneak attack on me, but I managed to dodge, for the
first while.  Then it happened.  Father got a good hit on me.  The
pool he landed me into was one of the hot-springs that also littered
the area.  The guide told me that it was the hot-spring of drowned
young girl."
     Soun spoke up, "but you said you don't change into anything with
cold water!"
     I snarled, "I don't!"  I then picked up the kettle and poured the
rest of it on myself.  Soun fainted.  Kasumi was surprised.  Nabiki
looked shocked.  Akane just stared.  I felt the tears welling up
again, but I don't have the control to stop them with this body.  I
can't help myself.  I start crying.

*****

Musical selection...
     Captain Tractor, Volume 1,  on continuous repeat.... boring if
you don't like it...:)
     Well, how was that?  Hope you weren't disappointed, or 
anything.
     I'm awaiting the flames!
               Shadow Dancer
                    of
       Black Lightning Design Group
 http://www.geocities.com/tokyo/towers/6418
        danceshadows@geocities.com
*************************************************
      Stress Relief
   All stressed out?  Sometimes it helps to think
of happy scenes.  Maybe a pastoral field, a field
with a babbling brook.  You're there on a lovely
summer's day...holding someone's head under the 
water.  Now you're letting them up for a second.
Then blam!  Back into the freezing water!  Over
and over again!  There.  Feel better?