An hour later, Ryoga and girl-type Ranma snuck out of the Tendo
house, hoping to avoid being spotted by Kasumi and Akane.  Neither of them
wanted to try to explain why Ryoga was in a suit and Ranma was wearing a
skin-tight blue satin dress.  They had almost made it through the garden
and out to the street when a large dark figure dropped out of a tree in
front of them.  Instinctively, they both lashed out at the intruder, who
dodged them nimbly.
        "Ranma?  Ryoga?  Is that you?" said a familiar voice.  Ryoga spied
a slight glint of light off a pair of eyeglasses.
        "Dr Tofu?" he asked.
        "Shhh!"  the doctor gestured for them to follow him as he crept
into the deeper shadows.
        "What's this all about, Doctor?" Ryoga asked in a whisper.  In
answer, Tofu handed him a letter.  Without comment, Ryoga handed it to
Ranma.
        "What is this?  I can't read it," Ranma said, puzzled.  She handed
the letter back to Tofu.
        "It's a letter from my friend in America.  He just recently married."
        "Oh.  Of course, your friend got married, so naturally you decided
to become a Peeping Tom," Ranma answered, narrowing her eyes.
        "No, Ranma," the doctor answered patiently.  "His bride was
kidnapped shortly before their marriage.  Apparently there was quite a
traffic in sweet, innocent, beautiful young girls.  They caught the villain
behind the slave trade, but it seems she has been deported..."
        "She?" Ranma asked.  "The slave trader is a woman?"
        "Yes, and I'm afraid she has come to Tokyo."
        "So you're here because you think she'll go after Akane?" Ryoga
asked.  Ranma smacked him on the head.
        "Actually, I'm very worried about Kasumi," Dr. Tofu answered
solemnly.  "There is no one sweeter, more innocent or more beautiful than
she."
        "Geez, you've got it bad, don't ya?" Ranma asked.
        "I'm sure Kasumi will be safe, Dr. Tofu," Ryoga said.
        "I hope so!" Tofu answered.  "I've been keeping watch for three
days now!"
        "Three days!" Ryoga gasped.  "You must be exhausted!"
        "I'll help," Ranma offered.  "I have to, uh...we won't be back
until later tonight, but when I come back I'll watch over Kasumi for you so
you can rest."
        "Would you?" the doctor asked gratefully.
        "I'll help, too," Ryoga said.
        "And I'll even lead you back here, Ryoga," Ranma sneered.  "You'd
never find the place on your own."
        "Shut up, Ranma!" Ryoga said threateningly.
        "Thank you, both of you," Dr. Tofu said, then he melted into the
darkness again as Ranma and Ryoga left for their dates.

        * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

        "Look, Ryoga," Ranma started uncomfortably as they walked down the
street together.  There was a large space between them as they walked.  "We
gotta talk.  We have to figure out what to do about those pictures."
        "There's nothing to talk about!" Ryoga said.  If it weren't for
Akane, he'd just get his pack and walk away, and forget he'd ever even
heard of Nerima.  And if Akane knew about the photos, she'd hate him...
        "Hey, if you wanna pretend the whole thing never happened, that's
fine by me!  But we still have those pictures to worry about!"
        "No, right now we have the Kunos to worry about!" Ryoga snapped.
        "Right!  Look, we might as well stick together until this date
thing is over.  I don't know about you, but I don't want to be alone with
Kuno in this get-up!"  Ranma said.  She looked over at Ryoga, who was
nodding agreement.  "And as soon as the evening's over, we've gotta come up
with a plan to get those pictures away from Nabiki!  All of them!"
        "This whole thing is all your fault, Ranma!"  Ryoga cried.
        "It doesn't matter whose fault it is, that doesn't help us out of
this mess!  And it is NOT my fault!" Ranma answered.  The two of them
argued all the way to the Kuno house.

        * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

        Tatewaki Kuno took one last look at himself in the mirror, admiring
the handsome figure he cut in his tuxedo before he swept up the bouquet of
blood-red roses and went in search of his sister.
        "Where are you, my sister?" he called.
        "Yes, brother dear?"  Kodachi stepped out of her room, smoothing
her black velvet dress down.
        "I wish to speak with you about the evening that lies before us."
        "What is there to speak of?" Kodachi asked innocently.  "I have a
date with the man of my dreams...one of them, anyway..." she added under
her breath.
        "Yes, and I will finally date with my pig-tailed goddess."
        "That gold-digger!"
        "I have a proposition for you, sister," Tatewaki said.  Kodachi
raised an eyebrow at him, so he continued.  "Let us put aside our petty
differences for the time present.  You will treat my date politely and I
will refrain from meting out divine justice on the unworthy Hibiki, even
though he is not fit to walk upon the same earth my lady's feet have trod."
        "Very well, then, dear brother.  I will postpone my vengeance upon
that pig-tailed hussy until tomorrow, and you will give up your silly feud
with my darling Ryoga."
        "Until tomorrow!" Tatewaki answered.

        * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *


        Akane finished punching a last cement block into gravel, then
stood back and looked at the small heap of rubble with satisfaction.  She
went back into the house, planning to wash up in time for dinner.  As she
approached the bathroom, the last conversation she'd had with Ranma came to
mind.  She should probably apologize to him.  She quickly cleaned up and
got to the dinner table just in time.  Her sisters turned to face her as
she came in.
        "Where's Ranma?" Akane asked.
        "I was just going to ask you the same question, Akane," Kasumi
said.  "I haven't seen him all day."
        "Hmm!"  Akane answered.  "Well, there's more for us if he doesn't
show up."   She decided not to apologize to the jerk after all, since he
couldn't even be bothered to show up on time for dinner.
        "I do hope he's feeling well," Kasumi said worriedly.
        "I wouldn't worry about it," Nabiki said.  "I'm sure he's fine."
She only wished she could see the expression on his face...

        * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

         Ranma was staring glumly down at her menu, scooting away from
Tatewaki until she was perched on the edge of the seat.
        "Allow me to order for you, my beloved," Tatewaki said, plucking
Ranma's menu out of her hands and giving it to the waiter.  "We'll have the
lobster.  Nothing is too good for my pig-tailed Venus."
        "I don't like lobster," Ranma said, trying to grab the menu back.
        "Oh, but they do it very well here, my love.  You'll enjoy it!"
Tatewaki insisted.
        "We'll have the lobster too," Kodachi said.   "Nothing is too good
for me and my Sweetums!"   The waiter took the menus and left, grateful to
be getting away from the nauseating atmosphere.
        "My goddess in pig-tails, I have waited so long for this night!"
Tatewaki said, oblivious to Ranma's rolling eyes.  "Let us dance!"
        "Yes!" said Kodachi.  "A perfect way to pass the time until our
fine repast arrives!"
        "But... I really don't dance..." Ryoga started.
        "Nonsense, my darling!" Kodachi interrupted, pulling Ryoga away
from the table.
        Against Ranma's protests, Tatewaki dragged her out onto the dance
floor as well.  The musicians, their pockets full of bribe money, struck up
a series of slow tunes.  The Kunos used the opportunity to lock their
victims in unbreakable embraces as they danced.  Ranma and Ryoga tossed
helpless, pleading glances at anyone who made eye contact with them, but to
no avail.  After what seemed an eternity, the food arrived and the two
couples returned to their table.
        Tatewaki seated Ranma, then took her fork from her.
        "Allow me, oh beauteous one," Tatewaki said.  "Such a delicate
beauty should not have to exert herself even to lift food to those lovely
lips."  And so saying, he pierced a piece of lobster with the fork and
attempted to feed it to Ranma.
        "Enough!" Ranma finally snapped.  "Admitting we slept  together
would be better than this!"
        Ryoga gasped.
        "What!?!" both the Kunos roared.
        "You pig-tailed harlot!" Kodachi shrieked.  "How dare you?"
        "You Svengali!" Tatewaki bellowed.  "Defiler of women!"
        Tatewaki reached over the table, grabbed a surprised Ryoga by the
tie and threw him halfway across the room.  "I will destroy you to protect
all of womankind!" he bellowed.  He was practically foaming at the mouth as
he leaped up from the table and threw himself on his foe.
        Kodachi, meanwhile, had dragged Ranma from behind the table by her
hair.  "You're not fit for any man!" she ranted shrilly as she rolled
around on the floor with Ranma, trying to claw at her face.  "First you
bewitch my darling Ranma, then you try to seduce my brother -- and now
this!  How DARE you sink your claws into my beloved Ryoga!"

        * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

        Ryoga trudged down the street, exhausted.  The evening had been an
even worse disaster than he could have imagined!  He looked around for
familiar landmarks, hoping to find his way back to the Tendo house.  He was
pretty sure he had left his things there, but he had lost track of Ranma
some time ago.
        The streets were certainly darker than usual.  Ryoga turned a
corner and found himself in a dark alley.  Puzzled, he passed through it to
a dimly lit street.
        "Well, this can't be it," he thought, and paused to try again to
get his bearings.
        "Well, well, well!" said a deep voice behind him.  "Looks like
you've got a problem, pal."
        Ryoga turned to face three tough-looking men, and realized suddenly
that he had blundered into a dead end.  Instinctively, he reached for his
bandannas, but they weren't there.  He'd just have to take them on
empty-handed.
        "Looks to me like you've got the problem!" Ryoga answered, smiling
so that his fangs showed.  It had been a long time since he'd fought with
anyone other than Ranma and Kuno.  This was going to be fun...
        The first thug charged, and Ryoga made no effort to dodge as the
man punched him in the gut.  Ryoga laughed and slammed an iron fist into
the man's face.
        "You idiot," he commented blandly.  "Did you really think you'd
bother me with a punch like that?"
        The other two attacked simultaneously, and Ryoga stood his ground,
easily deflecting their blows.  He grabbed one of the men by the shirt
front and casually tossed him over his head, then turned, grinning, to face
the other.  He was disappointed to see that Ranma, back in his male form,
had arrived from out of nowhere to break up the fight.  The arrogant jerk
stood calmly looking at him, having made quick work of the third man.
        "Don't bother thanking me," Ranma said in his most condescending voice.
        "Thank you?" Ryoga asked incredulously.
        "Heh, you're welcome," Ranma said with a grin.  "I've been looking
everywhere for you.  Looks like I got here just in time.  Those guys
weren't kidding around."  Ryoga glanced down at the unconscious men at
their feet and nodded slightly.  One of them had a bloody knife clutched in
his hand.
        "Let's go," Ryoga said, and followed Ranma out into a well-lit street.
        "Hey, you're bleeding!" Ranma cried, pointing out a gash in Ryoga's
left forearm.
        "Hm!"  Ryoga said.  "I didn't even feel it!"
        "Come on, I'll take you to Dr. Tofu's."  Ryoga followed, one hand
clamped around his wounded arm to slow the flow of blood.  Ranma was just
ahead, knocking on the Doctor's door.
        "He won't be there..." Ryoga started.
        "Well, we'll wake him up!" Ranma said, and knocked louder.
        "He's watching the Tendo house," Ryoga said, just as the door slid
open to reveal Shampoo.  She hesitated for a moment, trying to decide
whether to launch herself at the man she loved or the one she was engaged
to.  She was relieved to see that Ryoga was wounded, because it gave her an
excuse to do neither.
        "What happen to you?"
        "Here, you take care of him, OK?" Ranma said, pushing Ryoga into
Shampoo.  "I'll go get Dr. Tofu."  He ran off before either Ryoga or
Shampoo could react.
        "Uh, sorry," Ryoga said, blushing as he backed away.
        "Is OK," Shampoo answered.  "You future husband, no have to
apologize.  This way, Shampoo fix your arm."  Ryoga followed her into the
office and sat quietly while she began cleaning the wound.
        "Shampoo..." Ryoga began hesitantly.
        "Yes?" she replied, not looking at him.
        "Never mind," Ryoga answered with a sigh.  The silence grew as the
minutes passed.
        "Why you so sad?" Shampoo asked suddenly.  Ryoga looked at her sharply.
        "What?"
        "Why you all the time sad?  You never happy!"
        "I just..." Ryoga hesitated, then sighed.  "There have been so many
things!"
        "Things in past not worth being sad over.  You should forget past
and be happy for future!"
        "I wish I could forget!"  Ryoga said, haunted by the image of the
photos.  And Akane, her eyes full of hate...
        "Really?"
        "Yes,  I'd give anything to forget!"
        "Shampoo can help you forget!"
        "What do you mean?"
        "Yes!" Shampoo said, wrapping a clean bandage around Ryoga's arm.
"Shampoo help you forget everything that make you unhappy.  Then you be
happy!"
        "How can you do that?"
        "Shampoo do it, then you owe Shampoo favor?"
        "Shampoo, if you can help me forget, I'll do anything you want!"
        "OK, you stay here, Shampoo be right back!"  she said, bounding out
of the room.  She returned in a few moments with a bottle in her hand.
        "You ready?" she asked.  Ryoga nodded, noticing that  the label on
the bottle read "110."
        "Ai-yah!" Shampoo cried, and leapt over his head...

        * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

        Tofu arrived at his office a few minutes later, determined to see
to Ryoga's arm and return to his vigil quickly.   He dropped Ryoga's pack
in the lobby on his way into the examining room, and paused in surprise to
see his patient passed out on the table.  Ranma had indicated the wound was
minor.   Ryoga's eyes fluttered open as Tofu stepped up to examine him.
        "Oh," Ryoga said, sitting up and putting one hand to his head.  "I
must have fallen asleep!"
        "How are you feeling?" Tofu asked, unwrapping the bandage to have a
look at the wound.  The wound was not at all serious, and Shampoo had done
an able job of tending to it.  She walked in just as Tofu was rewrapping
the bandage.
        "I feel...fine!" Ryoga answered.  "I feel really refreshed!"
        "It work, then?  You forget bad things in past?" Shampoo asked.
        "Who are you?" Ryoga asked, puzzled.  Shampoo stared at him in
shock.  She must have been one of the things making him unhappy!  Although,
this was a good thing - she didn't have to worry that it would hurt Ryoga's
feelings when she married Ranma.  He obviously didn't love her any more
than she loved him.  Now she just had to find a legal way to get what she
wanted...a part of her was disappointed, though.
        "Shampoo, what have you done?" Tofu asked.
        "Ryoga unhappy.  Shampoo fix!" she answered with a smug smile.
        "I'm sorry to bother you," Ryoga said.  He slid down from the table
and walked out into the lobby, rubbing his head absently.  He saw his pack
there and picked it up, then turned as he heard the doctor behind him.
        "Would you mind if I changed my clothes?" he asked.   Tofu and
Shampoo moved their discussion out of the examining room to allow him a
little privacy.  Ryoga quickly changed and strapped his pack on his back.
        "It doesn't matter," Tofu was saying as Ryoga stepped back out to
the lobby.  "You can't just go around erasing people's memories!"
        "Please excuse me," Ryoga said, holding out the folded suit.  "I
don't know whose this is.  Could you please return it to the owner?"
        "What?  Certainly, we can find out...Where are you going?" Dr Tofu
asked.
        "I have to go now.  Thank you for your help, both of you," Ryoga
answered, bowing on his way out the door.  He took a deep breath as he
stepped out into the chilly night, then set off in a random direction.  He
knew his memories had been erased, and that it had been at his own request.
Now he was ready to create a whole new set of memories.

        * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

         "You did what?" Nabiki snarled, glaring at Ranma.
         "He was hurt, so I took him to the Doctor's office and left him there."
        "You idiot!  It's been three days!  You had to have known he'd
never make it back here by himself!"
         "Look, I wasn't thinking about that, OK?"
        "I suppose you're thinking this lets you off the hook?"
         "Well..." Ranma said.
         "Well, it doesn't.  You have a date tomorrow night with Kuno, and
you'd better make him happy, Saotome." Nabiki waved one of the photos in
front of Ranma's nose and he snatched it away from her.  With a sly smile,
Nabiki whipped another photo out of her pocket.
        "OK, OK!" Ranma snapped, grabbing the other photo.
         "Now, get out of here," Nabiki said.  She closed the door behind
Ranma and started pacing as she thought.  This was not going according to
plan.

        * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

to be continued, in "Off on a Tangent, Part Three"