(By golly, if we're going to talk about writing techniques, let's correct
our spelling first.)
First, I have to say each writer has his or her own writing technique.
Dialogue has always been one of the ways you can tell how a writer writes.
With that said:
"Keiichi!" Belldandy shouted as she ran towards him.
Keiichi slowly turned his head to see his goddess running towards him.
"Hey!"
"Keiichi-san, I missed you." She said, hugging him tightly.
Keiichi blused. "Uh, I missed you to, Belldandy." Then he hugged her back.
"Keiichi," She said almost cryuing, looking into Keiichi's eyes. "
Keiichi gave a small smile. "You been gone a long time, Bell."
and so on . . .
So, what's wrong with it?
First of all, there are beats in every line. I saw stories like this, 90%
of the lines spoken had beats. Beats are used to keep the reader in track,
or they are put in to have some meaning. Too many beats disrupt the flow
of the dialouge. I mean, who cares if Ranma sat down, brushed his hair
back while he's talking? No one notices that when one talks to someone.
When you talk to someone, you don't notice, "wow, he's putting his glasses
up.
" or "she's turning her head 50 degrees to the left." Of course, if you
want to remind the reader who's saying what, you can put beats if you
don't want to use the "forbidden" SAID.
This is the one I most disagree with--mainly because this is the way I
write. I try to be very descriptive in my writing, so sometimes I show
what the characters are doing as they speak. Their actions give insight on
who they're are and how they act. Of course, I don't do this with all my
dialogue. I try to use a variety of dialogue types.
Another reason is that some friends who read my stuff can't visualize well.
Some people pick up a book and they automatically fall into the story,
experiencing it as if it's really there--most of these people are more
right-brained and are more the creative types. Others only see words and
can't visualize anything--most of these people are left-brained, and are
more analytical in mind. For instance, I (who am a writer) tend to
immediately get into a book. My cousin Trevor (who's learning to be a
computer engineer) told me he can't see anything in his head when he reads
fiction. So usually, I cater to these people to help them "see" the story
better, while catering to the right-brained folk to help their reading
become even more "real".
Wow, that psychology course I got a 'D' in my first year of college is
finally beginning to register with me. Too bad that's all I know.
The last reason is something I've noticed among writers. Fantasy writers
tend to be more descriptive in their works, while other genre writers
(science fiction, horror, etc.) focus more on the dialogue and action than
descriptions. Don't ask me why. Read Robert Jordan, Tad Williams, Stephen
King, and John Chisholm back-to-back for an example of this. Of course,
like I said, each writer has their own technique. But I betcha Robert and
Tad use a lot more words to set up a scene than Stephen and John. Now,
based on what I just wrote, can you guess what kind of writer I am? :-)
next example:
"Hey, I got an idea!" exclamed he.
"No wait, here mine first!" shouted a man.
"Shut up! I got here first," snarled a fat, short man in his late
twenties.
Okay, what's wrong with it?
Yup, they used passive voice to tell who was talking. Remember in English
class, you were encouraged to use active voice? Well, do it here too.
Don't do "said (s)he" write instead "(s)he said" okay?
But that becomes static as well if you're writing in the active voice all
the time. Variety is best here. (This is one of my problems in my writing.)
Also, writing
"said" is okay. I know that there is other ways of writing "said," such as
whispered, muttered, exclaimed, mummured, blurted out, breathed, and ect.
Don't, the character will have to SAY something one of these days. So
don't be afraid to write "said."
Eheheh. I forget the name of the author, but I read a suspense thriller
where the author wrote "said" in most of his dialogue, and absolutely no
tags for the rest of the dialogue (i.e. "John?" "What?" "Can you come
here a second?" "Sure."). Good story, but all the 'saids' were annoying
as hell.
"I hate you," he said, glaring at his opponenent.
<why does he hate me? All I did was kill his mother, kicked his dog,, shot
his father, raped his sister, and spat in his face.>
"Get ready to die!"
>From my 18 years of reading. (okay, maybe 16 years) I never came upon "<>"
representing thought. So don't. For short - one word thoughts, you can do
a ** (because you can't do italics in ASCII) what am I talking about?
well, here...
Actually, I prefer "<>" instead of stars simply because they're easier to
read on a computer screen. Once again, it should be up to the writer. Some
people use stars. Some use brackets. Some don't use anything. I use
whatever I like. This is fanfiction. If I was sending it to be published, I
would underline the thoughts and they will italicize it if they publish it.
In this bad example, Nabiki said "a mouse?" to herself.
Okay, next example
"I'm hurt!" he said in dispair.
She sprinted over to him to save him, "I'll save you!"
"Thank you." he thanked.
Don't insult the reader by giving us adverbs, adjectives, and verbs on
what's obvious. Also, don't do this either:
(previous scene: some guy comes in pissed off)
"Boy am I pissed!" he said happily.
These are the only ones I do agree with. One's redundant writing. The
other's merely contradictory.
All prose should be done in past tense unless you're writing in Second
person or if you're the master of prose.
Not necessarily. "'Til I See Your Ghost' was written in the present tense
on purpose, to give insight on how Ukyo's thoughts and feelings as she
experiences them.
Well, that's my view on things. Glad you posted this though. Just remember
that most people writing fanfics are paying homage to their favorite anime.
Some are experienced writers. Some aren't. This list gives them a way to
tell their stories, and we are here to help comment on their stories and
give them insight on how to make them more readable and encourage them. And
those who take comments to heart wind up becoming better writers because of
it.
You know, I like this list. :)
============================================================================
/===\ LaShawn M. Taylor (shonnie@zeus.anet-chi.com)
|^ ^|\ Ranma: What's more important? One brief moment of happiness, or the
\v/\| Nanniichuan Spring?!
|\ Ryoga: One...brief...moment...
\| (Ranma 1/2)
"It's good to be Bach, VERY good to be Bach. This one's called 'Love
at First Sight'. [begin guitar intro] It's about debauchery and
things like that."
(XTC, Live in Concert, 1980)
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