{insert all standard disclaimers.  SPAMFICs aren't worth the trouble anyway}


                              Friends No More
     
     "I'm sorry, Ukyo."  Oh no.  He had used Ukyo, not Ucchan.  This was bad, 
more than bad.  "I just don't feel that way about you.  I will always think of 
you as my friend, but nothing more than my friend.  Please don't do this to 
yourself."  Oh no no nonononono...

     "But Ranchan, I can't give you up!  Don't you see, you're my life!"  My 
life, no one else, only him.  All this time, it's been him.  The reason I'm 
here, the reason I've put my whole life on hold, all for him.  All because of 
him.  "I'm tired of being just your friend.  I deserve more than being just 
your friend!  I deserve more than Akane!  Why are you doing this to me?"  Why?  
Why me?  My life...  No, what _used_ to be my life has just been destroyed.  
More!  I deserve more!  I deserve more out of life than what I've got!  "Damn 
you, Ranma Saotome!  More!  I'm worth more than your pity!  I'm not a 
leftover!"

     Sadness, anger, jealousy, the most profound sense of loss...  But there 
were no tears.  They weren't worth wasting on this person who couldn't see how 
devoted I had always been.  Wasting... my life wasting away.  Ten years 
searching for revenge.  And then wasting my life on loving someone who just 
didn't care.  Friend?  Ha!  He didn't know what a friend was.  Who were his 
friends?  He claimed I was his friend, but not very often did he show it.  When 
did he truly act like my friend?  He sure found time to take advantage of all 
the free okonomiyaki I gave him.  He sure liked to _act_ like my friend.

     Frustration.  This was all so frustrating.  I could see the way he was 
looking at me.  His eyes were always so clear and bright.  He couldn't lie, he 
didn't love me.  "My friend..."  The tears were threatening.  Not for the loss 
of Ranma Saotome, but for my loss.  The loss of a large period of my life and 
my childhood.  It was like my innocence had been ripped from my body and left 
me a hollow shell of a child.  And that was what I felt like: a child.  I 
straightened my back, standing full in front of him and his pitying gaze.  "My 
friend... no more."

     I turned my back to him.  friend no more...  The words were haunting even 
though I had said them only seconds before.  It hurt.  A lot.  The young man I 
had loved but didn't love me, I was turning my back on him.  Was I ending a 
section of my life?  Or was I giving up?  No, I wasn't giving up.  Because if I 
was giving up, I was admitting that my life was a waste.  Ending a portion of 
my life.  Closing a chapter.  Letting him go.  Making my own way, ending the 
clinging, desperate need.

     "No more."  I walked away from him, still wanting to turn around and throw 
myself at him.  It was hard to deny those urges, but it was harder to give in 
to them.  Was I that type of person?  I liked to think not, but I knew it was 
very easy to fall into that pattern.

     I forced myself to place one foot in front of the other, to keep going.  
It seemed the further away I got, the easier it became.  Friend no more.. for 
now.
     
                               Friend Again
     
     "Hey, Ranchan."  He looked up, surprise all over his face.  I smiled for 
him.  I didn't want him to think I was angry or bitter.  Not anymore.  "How are 
you?"

     "Uh..."  Speechless, as usual.  "I'm OK."  He looked frightened.

     "That's good to hear."  How to explain it all?  Where to begin?

     "Um, Ukyo."  Too afraid to call me Ucchan, not unexpected.  "Where...?"

     "Oh, I was just getting my life together.  Putting things into 
perspective.  Cleaning myself up."  This was as good a time as any.  If I 
didn't explain, he would only treat me like a bug sharing his lunch.  That I 
didn't want.  "I just wanted to figure out how I really felt, and why.  I had 
to consider what you said and what I said.  And I've come to a conclusion."  
His fear had been replaced by curiosity.  I wasn't acting myself; he knew it, 
but not why.  "I've changed.  I'm not the person I used to be."

     "But what about..."

     I shook my head, still smiling.  "I like to think I'm over you.  It was 
the only way to keep my sanity.  It's been six months of soul-searching.  I 
found some things I wasn't too happy with and decided to fix those problems."

     "You mean you're not..."

     I cut him off.  "Ranma Saotome," I said forcefully.  "You are not my 
fiance."

     He gaped, his mouth started to open and close.  He hadn't grown up at all 
in those six months.  "But Ukyo."  I almost laughed at his much abbreviated 
objection.

     "No 'buts'.  You are not my fiance by my own choice.  Do not try to keep 
me at your feet, I refuse to be there.  You are not my fiance, you are my 
friend."  Boy that felt good.  I had been waiting at least a month to tell him 
that, gathering the courage to face him.  And I did it, and it felt good.

     "Ucchan.  I don't know what to say.  What about what you said before?  Not 
being my friend..."  He was confused beyond his limits.

     "Ranchan, I just had to accept what you said for myself.  I had to accept 
your feelings for me... and Akane."  I took a step closer to him.  "Please, I 
just want to be your friend now.  Nothing more.  I just want you to treat me 
like a friend."  I extended my hand as sort of a contract.  A contract of 
friendship.

     He looked at me, looked at my hand.  Slowly, his face showed the 
lightheartedness I was used to.  He smiled at me then, and made me feel that I 
had done exactly the right thing.  He took my hand in his firm grip and 
squeezed once before releasing it.  "I'd like that a lot, Ucchan."

     "Well, I guess I'll be seeing you around then."  I waved to him.  "Bye."  
He raised his hand in farewell as I left.  Friends again.  It felt good to have 
my friend back.
     
END 1&2

NOTES*  OK, so after seeing people tossing in their Ukyo(u)/Ryo(u)ga takes,
I had to do mine too.  First, remember that no one should take this as a
personal assault on their ideas or stories, this is my idea.  Second, this
is parts 1&2 of a 4 part shorty.  The actual Ukyo/Ryoga stuff takes place in
the last 2 parts.  3&4 are done, but it seemed better to break them up like
this.  I haven't done any prereading on this, it just got run through the
spell checker, so tear into it.  And, as always, C&C welcomed with open arms 
and warm brownies.  (Let me know if it's formatted too wide)

-- 
Lara

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|  Attend Eastern Michigan University  |
|            Less Effective            |
|           More Destructive           |
|           You'll get yours           |
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         lara@emunix.emich.edu