OK, for everbody who missed out, here's the Repost of my Ranma 1/2 fic
	
	I've retouched most of it and spell checked what I could.  Please take
some time to C&C it so I can finally redraft it for the last
time...Enjoy

In the words of Azusa Shiratori, "Here we go again!"

        OtakuNXS presents:

                Ecchi Muyo or No Need for Perverts

________________________________________________________________________ 
 
Prologue
 
     The dark figure watched the girl from the window.    She seemed
young and innocent, totally unsuspecting of the horror that awaited her.
Sleepily, she struggled into her night shirt. Turning out her lights
with all the casualness of someone without any real fears, the next mid
term not withstanding, the young girl snuggled into bed.

     "Poor, poor girl!" chuckled the dark figure, with no real trace of
humor .  Then, he rose a hand to the window and smiled sinisterly.

     The young girl screamed in surprise as the glass shattered into
hundreds of shimmering fragments.   Then the dark figure calmly walked
into the room, ducking under the few remaining pieces of glass.   With
another sinister grin he turned to examine his helpless victim.   
Satisfying himself, that she was sufficiently paralyzed with fear, he
turned to the task at hand. 

	Slowly holding up his hand, he started to glow with a faint black aura,
crackling with blue energy.  Then, he began to focus his chi.

     "Founding School of Anything Goes Martial Arts Hentia
Attack...Panty Vortex!"  he screamed as the black and blue aura began
moving from his body to his outstretched  hands.  The chi energy swirled
into a tight sphere above his palms, turning darker.  With the ball of
chi, crackling with energy, in his hands he turned to the center of the 
room.  Yelling with all his might, he slammed the ball of power into the
ground.   As soon as the  dark sphere of energy hit the floor it
exploded into hundreds of black tendrils (TENDRILS...not  tentacles…I
told you this wasn’t a Lemon!)        

     The tendrils scattered about the room.  They seemed to be searching
for something and moved as if alive.  The bundles of black energy began
converging, eapecially in the girls chest of drawers, and on the girl
herself.   She trembled as the strange energy seeped through her
blankets and pooled together on her lower torso.  Then, the energy
seemed to resurge and the explosion began to work itself backwards,
imploding.  When the attack was over, the sphere was gone and in it's
place was a small pile of panties.

     The girl was too shocked to speak.  Then something, or the lack
there of, tugged at her mind.  Trembling, she looked under her covers,
and gasped.  Her Sailor Moon panties were gone!

     The assailant chuckled evilly, as he rubbed the pink underwear
against his face.  Even the picture of Usagi, on the back of the female
unmentionables, seemed to be revolted.

     "Arigato!" the young man said, stepping into the glow of the
Totorro Nite Light.  His cold eyes of blue and long black hair made him
seem cast from some strange Bioushen mold, as though someone’s
Shojo        
character had escaped their world of cherry blossoms and men who looked
like women.  Then, with a smile on his lips and a small puddle of drool
on his face, he picked up his ill gotten booty and leaped through the
window...almost.  His foot having caught on the window sill, he
plummeted to the ground, looking like some suicidal stock broker who had
put too much capital into the UnderRoo's company.

     Flailing desperately, the CLAMP refugee managed to force one pair
of panties ahead of him to lighten his fall.  With a silky crunch, he
landed.

     The girl took this moment to scream, "Eeeccccccchhhiii!!!"

     Elsewhere, a diminutive figure was sleeping soundlessly, give are
take a few "Hotcha momma's!", on a pile of lingerie.  He awoke suddenly
and looked around, fiercely protecting his hoard like some miniature
Hentai dragon.  Then, the girl's scream echoed softly from somewhere far
to the south.

     Lighting his pipe, Happosai settled in to his master posture.
"Hmmmmm, sounds like someone's coming," he foreshadowed darkly,  "I must
prepare!"

     He promptly began to hide his collection, as the reader face
faulted.

End Prologue
______________________________
 
Part One
 
        Soun comptemplated his tea cup, his mind wandering to the edge
of existence.  Somewhere in that deep porcelain, there was a world just
for him.  A world where he could be happy.  What Soun was NOT
comptemplating was the angry man in front of him.

        "You've GOT to do something Tendo-san!  Last night was the worse
it's ever been.  Forty separate house, all completely robbed of female
undergarments."  The man was red in the face, he hated losing his cool
in front of Tendo-san, who always seemed so calm and collected.

        Perhaps in the next life I'll be a farmer, yes, that's it.  Just
a simple farmer with no dojo, no freeloaders, no master, just me and
some potatoes.

        "Please, Tendo-san, I know you don't have the best track record
but your the only patsy...errrrr panty...errrrr person, we can count
on!"

        Calmly, Soun set his tea cup down.  "I shall see what I can do.
It is, after all, a martial artist's duty!"  Maybe when this was over he
could turn his dojo into a restaurant.   He could serve potatoes.

        "Arigato Tendo-sama!" With that, the man left, wiping his
forehead and feeling reassured.  Soun's confident way always had the
effect of making everything seem all right.  Whistling, he opened the
door, let in the midget carrying the huge sack and screaming,  "What a
haul!", and walked home.

        Ranma walked downstairs to find his father trying to reassure a
sobbing Soun, as well as eating the lunch that Tendo-san was too upset
to consume.  "What's his problem?  Did Nabiki threaten to foreclose
again?"

        Kasumi walked in carrying a plate of cookies for her upset
father, which Genma quickly consumed  "I don't know, he's been like this
for an hour now.  He keeps mumbling something about potato’s or he could
be saying panties."

        Upstairs, Happosai counted out his silky darlings.  "Hmmmmm,
seems to have been an awful lot of trouble just to get a full bag
today."

	Musing over the possible repercussions of this he turned to place his
hoard with the rest of his stash.

        Slowly, he lit his pipe, someone was defiantly up to something,
he thought.  He had been forced to search for hours to find his current
haul.  Who could possibly be beating HIM to the pinch...errrr punch?  He
was startled out of his musings(told ja he mused) by a crash from
downstairs.

        "What the...?  Oh Ukyo, is something wrong?"  Ranma looked at
his childhood friend.  Something was defiantly up, she had crashed
through the door and was now violently searching the house.  Mostly with
the business end of a kick ass spatula.

        "Oh Ukyo, will you be staying for dinner?" asked Kasumi as Ukyo
tore down a wall leading to the living room.

        "Where ARE you, you little freak!!!"

        "What's with all the noise, I'm trying to study.  Uh, what's
wrong with her?"  Akane's voice softened as she saw Ukyo leap the stairs
and confront her.

        "Don't just stand there, help me find the little ecchi!"  With a
yell she kicked down a door and began searching feverously.

        "Ranma, would you mind terribly talking to your friend?  BEFORE,
she levels the place!" Akane said this with clenched teeth, and even
more importantly, clenched hammer.

        What was with her, Ranma thought.  He'd never seen his friend so
pissed. This wanton destruction was Shampoo's forte, not Uu-chan's. 
Ranma walked up the stairs and through the hole leading to Nabiki's
room.

        Without looking up from her notebook, she pointed out the hole
at the opposite end.  Sighing, he walked through the new hole, just
catching Nabiki's "Five thousand yen plus repairs Saotome, or you know
the drill."

        Sighing even more at the thought of his soon to be upcoming
fashion show, he approached the remains of a trashed room.  Ukyo sat in
the middle, her spatula tossed to the side and her battle aura back to
normal.  She seemed to be crying.

        "What happened Uu-chan?" 

	He stiffened slightly as she slammed into him in a tight embrace. 
After a quick check to see if Akane was watching, he turned to comfort
his old friend.

        "Ran-chan, he took my underwear."

        "Is that all, he takes people's underwear all the time, that's
nothing to get this upset over.  I'll make him give them back."  He
brushed Ukyo's hair out of her face and smiled confidently to her.

        "You don't understand, he took ALL of it.  But that's not why
I'm so upset."

        Reader settles in for a flashback sequence.

        Ukyo flipped a okonomiyaki to a hungry customer who accepted it
hungrily while she settled into her nightly rhythm.  The scrap of her
spatulas on the grill and the sound of customers munching happily
bringing her a few moments of inner peace.

        Suddenly, a dark shadow crashed through the window of the
restaurant.  The blur never seemed to slow down as it stepped lightly on
a table, and slipped heavily on a squashed okonomiyaki.  Rolling with
the fall, the figure hid underneath a table.

        "Ummmm, hello, can I help you?" Ukyo asked, more then a little
bit angry.  Smashing through her window was one thing, killing a
perfectly good okonomiyaki was something else.

        Daisuke simply sighed and grabbed one of Hiroshi's pancakes. 
Neither one bothered to look under their table at the newcomer, nor were
they the least bit surprised when maniacal laughter started coming from
beneath them.

        "Clever girl, setting that trap for me, but it will avail you
not.  Not against the Wraith of Happosai!"

        "Oh," Ukyo sighed, "it's you Happosai, I really don't have the
time to beat the ever loving crude out of you.  Can you come back
later?"

        "Yes it is I, Happosai and you shall feel my wraith!" with that,
the blur speed out from under the stock character's table and leapt past
Ukyo.  Stepping on the grill, he shrieked in pain and the blur crashed
through the door leading to the back rooms.

        "Ow, ow, ow, how dare you woman.  How dare you burn the great
Happosai!" said an enraged voice.  Realizing the voice was coming from
her bedroom, the martial artist/short order (as long as your order is
okonomiyaki) cook ran to save her undies from perversion.

        Hiroshi sniffled and began munching on his last pancake.  He was
on the last bite when an explosion shot Ukyo out the door and slammed
her into the grill.  Daisuke shook his head slightly as he watched her
stand up.

        "Hey Happosai, that hurt!" she yelled as she unsheathed her kick
ass spatula.

        "Ha, ha, that's what you get for challenging the will of..."

        "Happosai, we know, we know." Hiroshi and Daisuke finished in
unison.

        "Now," said Ukyo as she calmly went through a few practice
swings with her massive monument to cooking and bludgeoning, "I'm going
to have to hurt you!"

        With a yell she charged back through the door.  Hiroshi and
Daisuke began to put their coats on.  Then a HUGE explosion actually
shocked them out of their "been there done that" stupor.  Once again
Ukyo came hurtling through the door, this time she crashed though the
grill, through a set of tables and smashed into the two young boys.

        "Ow, what the..." Ukyo stammered out as she tried to stay
conscious.

        Then a voice rang through her ears, "Founding School of Anything
Goes Martial Arts Hentai Attack, Panty Vacuum!"  Ukyo felt something
seeping through her tights as she lapsed into oblivion.

        "Very tragic indeed!" Happosai intoned as the reader was ripped
out of "now that I think back" and "remember when..." land.

        "You, you used your battle aura on her didn't you,  you old
freak. Well why don't you try that with me!"  Ranma charged at the
venerable ecchi with a snarl.

        Happosai caught the extended punch with his pipe and flung him
through the roof, "Damn, he's gotten fast!" they both thought in unison.

        "Ran-chan!" Ukyo yelled.  Using Happosai as a spring board, she
jumped after Ranma.  They both landed somewhat gracefully on the Tendo's
roof.

        "Ran-chan, are you OK?"

        "Yeah, just a little annoyed," Ranma winced as Ukyo felt for any
bumps, "I can't believe I fell for that!  Still, the old man's going
down for this, I can't believe he'd use a powerful technique like that
without any need!"

        "That's because I didn't my boy."  Ranma and Ukyo turned to see
Happosai smoking peacefully a few feet away.  "Think, when's the last
time you saw me attack a girl, grope yes, but never attack.  I have my
honor."

        "Yea right, you just can't concentrate on anything besides their
breasts!"  Ranma began to walk towards the freak, his anger still
seething.

        "Ranma, how dare you, and how dare you suspect your poor sweet
master of such a thing." Happosai cried as tears welled up in his eyes.
"I would never hurt Ukyo and I would never tear the panties off her
body."

        "Wait a sec Ran-chan," Ukyo said as she got between the two,
"but I saw your battle aura, and that fighting style."

        "Did you see your attacker’s face?"  Happosai begged as he
grabbed, then groped Ukyo's hand.

        "Actually, no, he was too fast." stated Ukyo while backhanding
the diminutive figure down through the ceiling.  "But who else fights
like that and looks like a giant Happosai when using their battle aura?"
asked Ukyo as she turned to Ranma.

        Before Ranma could answer he was gooshed by a frantic and
incredibly well endowed figure.  Goosh indeed, thought Ranma, his
temperature rising steadily, Shampoo was busting out all over.

        "Ranma, so scary, freak stole all underwear," Shampoo said
frantically, "Now I no have anythings on underneath, aiya."  That last
was whispered seductively in Ranma's ear causing him to wish, ever so
slightly, "that this WAS a lemon."

        <SMASH> "Your unbelievable!" shrieked Akane as she punctuated
with her hammer.   She had used a ladder to climb up through the hole in
the ceiling and was now glaring at Ranma.

        "What’d I do, she's the one who grabbed me!"  Ranma backed up
from the hammer wielding girl.

        "I saw, but the author accidentally put your thoughts into
quotes!" she yelled as she began chasing him around the roof.

        "So he got you too?" Ukyo asked the Amazon as they watched Akane
chase Ranma.

        Shampoo simply nodded, calmly watching Ranma dodge the pervert
girl.

        "By the way, where's Mousse, I figured he'd be over here blaming
Ran-chan."

        Shampoo simply shrugged.  "He only one there when freak attack. 
Now he just lie on bed, saying too too big Happosai."

        Stupid writer, can't get a decent writing program so he can
grammar check, thought Ranma as he dodged Akane who was steadily
gaining.  Then a small shrunken face appeared, stopping both him and
Akane cold.

        "And what do you plan to do about all this son-in-law?" Cologne
asked, propped up high on her staff.  "I had just gotten used to the
things and now all my lingerie is gone."

        "Lingerie?" Part of Ranma's mind conjured up an image that the
rest of his mind promptly crunched up and threw away.  Then the rest of
his mind started hunting down the rebel part...with torches...and
picks...and shotguns.

        While part of Ranma's mind ran screaming from the mental horde,
a thought broke from the mob and surfaced.  "Wait a sec...sure, when the
freak's not thinking straight, like in the middle of a fight, he's
snagged at one of your bras, but to actually go out of his way to steal
YOUR unmentionables?  I mean talk about your UNMENTIONABLES!"

        Akane let her hammer go back into sub-space and watched as
Cologne beat Ranma severally with her cane.  He's right, she thought,
and going in and blowing up everything isn't really his style either. 
He always sneaks in first and doesn't start Happofire bursting until
after he's secured the panties.

        "Poor, defenseless Shampoo, you've been attacked by this
impostor as well, let me comfort you in your time of need." cried a
bounding Happosai as he leapt towards the "poor, defenseless" Amazon.

        On the other side of town, a beautiful man with cold blue eyes
and long black hair began to laugh sinisterly.  He had graduated at top
of his class for sinister laugh, not to mention being voted most likely
to go out for a sinister revenge on very short martial artists. Now he
was using all the skills that had won him first prize at the Mr.
Sinister Talent Competition.(No it was not held in honor of some stupid
X-man villain, shut up and read!)

        "You shall suffer Happosai, you'll never find out who it is
causing you all this pain.  I shall strike out at you from the shadows
and you shall know terror.  Seek me out, freak, you shall not find a
trace of the man who has framed you.  You shall never find my
secret...<faint *AIYA* in the distance><CRASH>!"

        The small hentai missile crashed through the ceiling and slammed
into the shojo boy's head, smashing him down through the floor.

        Happosai regained his composure, lit his pipe, and looked down
at who or what he had hit.  "Oh, hello there Takui, I thought it was
you."

        "You did not," Takui yelled as he pulled himself out of the
hole, "besides, it will avail you not for no one will believe such an
evil, lecherous fiend as yourself.  You'll never be able to prove your
innocence for I am far too clever, far too sinis... <faint *BAKA* in the
distance><CRASH>!"

        Happosai sighed and helped Ranma up from the now six foot deep
hole in the floor.  "Ranma my boy, meet Takui, I'm afraid he's the one
causing all the trouble around here."

        "Ha, tell him what you like, where's your proof?" Takui snarled
as he attempted to approach Happosai.  THIS time the approach was halted
as his foot slipped on a pair of cotton undies.  He had enough time to
see the seemingly smirking face of Usagi on the back of the panties
before he landed with a silky thud! (less painful then a silky crunch
but no less embarrassing)

	Happosai sighed, "He's a good fighter but a trifle accident
prone."        

	Ranma gaped at the second largest pile of panties he would ever see in
his life.  Then, he got mad! Everything that had happened to him today
could be traced back to this ecchi, not that today was any worse then
any other day.  Still, rarely did he get the chance to actively beat the
hell out of the cause of his woes.  Grinning to himself and cracking his
knuckles he approached the new found scapegoat, this was going to be
veeerrryyy therapeutic.

        Then he hit the ground, Takui was calling up his battle aura and
was already growing to giant proportions.  The mammoth force DID look
just like Happosai, was it as powerful?  Ranma steadied himself, he
COULD beat this guy, he just knew it.

        "Hello, my name is Ranma Saotome, you stole my friends panties,
prepare to die!"

        Takui assumed a fighting stance, turned his head slightly and
then...pulled a Saotome School of Anything Goes Martial Arts Secret
Technique.  For those who haven't read the Breaking Point stories of the
Manga, he ran like hell.

        Ranma facefaulted.  Unfortunately, he was facing the hole his
and Happosai's landings had created and ended up  diving face first 
into the six foot pit.

        "You all right my boy." Ranma woke up from lala land to the
sound of Happosai's voice, and the feel of Happosai's pipe smacking into
his skull.

        "Ow, stop that." Ranma slowly got up and surveyed the scene. 
The room was empty save for him, Happosai and the third largest pile of
panties he had ever seen.  Someone had been picking through it and had
already selected some souvenirs.  Then he remembered the fight, or lack
there of.  "Hey where'd that guy get off to and who the hell was he
anyway. Out with it old man, you seemed to know each other."

        Looking up from his scavenging Happosai nodded slowly.  "Of
course I know him, he's my son!"

        The reader shakes his head, oh REAL original, a son looking for
vengeance, like we haven't see that befo...then the reader's mind adds
up some sums, carries the two and realizes...if that's his son, then at
some time in his life, SOMEONE SLEPT WITH HAPPOSAI!!!

        The reader facefaults again.

End Part One

        Uh, you guys all right, that looked like it hurt
        Take five everyone, C&C 'em if you got 'em