Jang Won Choe wrote:

First and Example:

"Keiichi!" Belldandy shouted as she ran towards him.

Keiichi slowly turned his head to see his goddess running towards him.
"Hey!"

"Keiichi-san, I missed you." She said, hugging him tightly.

Keiichi blused. "Uh, I missed you to, Belldandy." Then he hugged her back.

"Keiichi," She said almost cryuing, looking into Keiichi's eyes. "

Keiichi gave a small smile. "You been gone a long time, Bell."

and so on . . .

So, what's wrong with it?

First of all, there are beats in every line. I saw stories like this, 90%
of the lines spoken had beats. Beats are used to keep the reader in track,
or they are put in to have some meaning. Too many beats disrupt the flow
of the dialouge. I mean, who cares if Ranma sat down, brushed his hair
back while he's talking? No one notices that when one talks to someone.
When you talk to someone, you don't notice, "wow, he's putting his glasses up.
" or "she's turning her head 50 degrees to the left." Of course, if you
want to remind the reader who's saying what, you can put beats if you
don't want to use the "forbidden" SAID.	Whopa, slow down and halt the horses for a second. I have a little 

problem with this picture of dialogue. You might not think "wow, he's putting 
his glasses up!" but you do notice it. Language is not just spoken words. 
You can program a computer to speak English with perfect grammar and a wonderful 
vocabulary, but I'd hate to listen to it for more than a few moments. Why? 
Because language is not just words, it is the language of the body, the 
inflection of the voice. Ever take a speech class? You learn how to position 
your body, how to treat your audience, how to inflect words, when to go soft and 
when to scream a bloody fit.. You do this because that is how we speak ina  
natural environmment.
	In every day life people notice the small things your body is doing. A 
slight tilt of the head, or a far away expression give meaning behind the words, 
put a subtle depth that cannot be shown by simple written words. That is why you 
break up dialogue like that. Sure you shouldn't do it too much, but it should be 
done enough to portray the emotion, the feeling of the scene. You can get more 
meaning out of a line if you place action or description of inflection with the 
dialogue..
	For example...
	"Baka," Akane said.
	"Baka," she sighed rolling her eyes heavenward.
	"Baka," she said softly, brushing a stray lock from his brow.
	"Baka," she growled, advancing towards him with mallet and a one way 
ticket for Tenou Airlines.

	Each sentence is the same word, but each has an entirely different 
meaning... Can you honestly say that a writer shouldn't use "beats" to convey 
meaning. I personally would never read anything that did not break up the 
monotony of reading He said, she said, Ranma yelled, Asuma said, Noa replied..
I want to know if they are walking around, what they are thinking, how their 
actions compliment their words. 
	Read any great writer and that is how the dialogue is..Even Shakespeare 
a playwrite, who has no actions or moods stated in his words, just implied) 
takes on a whole new meaning, a much deeper meaning when performed on the 
stage... It's meant to be acted, not read.. Prose is meant to be acted in your 
head, so you need the action to keep the work going. Script as well can show 
what people are doing and add little addendums to the dialougue to set the mood.

>From my 18 years of reading. (okay, maybe 16 years) I never came upon "<>"
representing thought. So don't. For short - one word thoughts, you can do
a ** (because you can't do italics in ASCII) what am I talking about?
well, here...

	What practical purpose does it serve arguing about how to denote 
thought. Personally I just switch to first person in the paragraph and it is 
thought. Why? Because I can't use italics and it makes the story flow that much 
easier, since thought and action flow together to form one complete form, not 
these jumping breaks that come from < > or * * But that is my own style, and I 
vary it sometimes. Besides this is fanfiction, our writing form is a much loser 
one. How many fics could ever be published? None..well at least not without a 
lot of work on grammar, spelling, style and format..But that is just the point 
we do this because we like to..If  < > is the way you want to express thoughts, 
than go ahead and do it...I don't care and I don't think many other readers do 
either, not that I know the mind of everyone on the ML.

All prose should be done in past tense unless you're writing in Second
person or if you're the master of prose.	True, although I don't even think a master of prose could write in 

anything but past tense. If you know of any authors who do, tell me because I'd 
be very interested in how they did it.

Well, that's all I can think of right now. If you have and additions,
flames, or contridictions, e-mail me.

	Well that's all I have to say...Those two were the only I really 
disagreed with...but than that is my honest opinion, anyone want to disagree? 
I'm open game (Heck I'm even registered with the DNR although there is a fifty 
flame limit when hunting for wild Joseph ^_^ )

	ja ne
	Joseph