Jim: "Hi there, today I'll be reviewing a brand new piece by a 
brand new author.  Since it isn't an AMG piece, and since I
don't want to go broke buying Ice Cream, filling in for 
Skuld-sama this time is, ... MOKONA!"

Mokona: "Pu."

Jim: "Ahh, you've got a lot of fans out there Mokona, 
you can say more to them than that."

Mokona: "PUUU! Puu Pu PUU PU pu puuu pu Pu!"

Jim: "Oh.  Mokona says it really came here to insist I stop 
using it as a template for assassin robots (see: ATTACK 
OF THE MOKONATOR, etc), anyway we'll talk about that 
AFTER we review Ben's fic."

Mokona: "PUUUU!"

Jim: "I'm sorry Mokona, but you can't look fierce, it's 
anatomically impossible."

Mokona: (ears drooping in depression) "puuuuuuu" 
 

Depressed Tech-student Productions presents:

"Umbrella" a KOR fanfiction by Ben Williamson (benw@cco.caltech.edu)
This fanfiction also has heavy VGAi influence.

Please please please please pleeeease email me with comments.

Warning:  This fanfiction is sort of a modified approach to the KOR movie
	  "I want to return to that day" and as such is quite revealing.
	  If you haven't seen the movie, you might not want to read this.

<> indicates thought, "" indicates speech ** indicates sound
one minor side note... the name "Cyan" is pronounced "SAI-en" not "Sai-AN"

Jim: "Kimagure Orange Road (KOR) and Video Girl Ai (VGAi) are two of my 
favorite anime, although I have to admit I haven't seen every KOR episode.
How about you Mokona?"

Mokona: "Pu."

Jim: (aside) "Talkative little thing aint it."

<snip>  

She glanced up through rain-soaked locks, brown with a
shade of orange, at the name of the building she lay against.  Tears 
blurred her vision, but she didn't need to read the sign.  She had
been here often enough.  "Green Castle."  Ah, the bitter irony of it all.  

Mokona: "Puuu?"

Jim: "That would be Hiyama Hikaru, the losing corner of the KOR 
triangle.  Kasuga Kyousuke is the boy with the embarrassment of 
riches, and then there's Ayukawa Madoka,..."

 <SHE is beautiful... strong... mysterious... adult!  ...>

Jim: "...and she is.  It was only a matter of time till Hikaru lost out,
and Ben starts the fic from her point of view, shortly after Kyousuke
has finally made his decision.  Not a situation anyone would want
to be in, and Ben describes it well."  

 "Shut up!"  She was tired... alone... she wanted only to be with Him...
wanted only Him.  She noticed, absentmindedly, that the rain had stopped.
So sudden?  
 "Sen...pai?"  She looked up, eyes shining with hope, at the silent boy
holding an umbrella over her head.  No, not Him... but someone familiar,
nonetheless.  Succumbing to heartache and exhaustion, she managed one last
word before collapsing, asleep.
 "Cyan..."
 Wordlessly, cradling her body gently in his arms while holding on to the
umbrella, he began the walk to her home.

Mokona: "Puu?"

Jim: "New character, I'm curious to see who he is too."

<snip>

 Unnoticed, the CD player switched tracks, to song 16.  It began to
play.
 <Goodbye forever, senpai.  I'm sorry I wasn't good enough...>  
 She held the knife to her chest, resting the point between her
third and fourth ribs.
 "Hey!!"
 She snapped her eyes open, confused.  Some sort of drama track on a Wada
Kanako CD? And a guys voice?
 A bright light filled the room, emanating from her... stereo?
 <It's warm...>  She absent-mindedly let the knife slip from her grasp.
 The strange light continued for a while, then died down.  Standing in
front of her was a boy, about her age, dressed in a t-shirt and jeans.
 "There aren't many perfect breasts in the world... it would be a shame
to ruin yours."

Jim: "Here comes the VGAi influence, lucky they improved the start 
sequence, when Ai-chan came out of the video tape she spent the
first few minutes unconscious.  That comment about Hikaru's 'assets'
is about as brash as Ai-chan too."

 "Who the hell are you?"  She retrieved the knife, trying to remember
what her best friend had taught her to defend against perverts.  The irony
of defending herself a mere 10 seconds after her planned suicide were lost
on the confused girl.
 "Hey, calm down.  I'm here to help.  My name is Cyan.  I'm a CD guy."
He nudged his black-rimmed glasses farther up on to his nose.
 "Seedy guy?"  
 "CD guy!  CD guy!  Yeesh!" The look on the boy's face was one of near
desperation.

Jim: "Ha Ha Ha Ha"
Mokona: "Pu Pu Pu Pu"

 Faced with something this incredibly stupid, she did the only reasonable
thing.  Once again, the knife fell from her hands, and she did something
which she hadn't done for far too long.
 Hikaru began to laugh.

Jim: "I liked that Hikaru is laughing.  All through this fic you can see that
Ben has a real respect and affection for Hikaru."

<snip>

 "Um... how to explain.  A few years back there was this... colleague of
my creator's who designed these 'video girls' who would come out of VCR
tapes and cheer up guys with broken hearts.  The entire thing worked out
pretty well.  So, my creator figured, why not, he could do the same
thing."

Jim: "This is a nice succinct explanation of the Video Girl concept, 
although I believe it reverses some timelines, I think VGAi came 
out after KOR, and CDs weren't popular consumer items during 
KORs run.  That's a nit though, I'm perfectly willing to blow that off."

<snip>

 "Frankly, my creator knows jack about women, and he acknowledges this.
So, what better way to gather information than with a trial run, right?
Basically, I'm a... prototype?  I fix your problems, my creator gets his
test data, I get do something besides sitting in a lab with tubes and
cables attached god knows where... everybody's happy."
 "Anyway, as I said before, my name is Cyan.  CD guy, age 16.  Nice to
meet you."

<snip>

"You know... I'm really beginning to think this guy is a real
bastaARgh!!  My nose!  I think you broke my freaking nose!!!"
 Hikaru calmly withdrew her 'fist of fury' and handed the hankerchief
back to Cyan to help stop his blood loss.
 "You should be careful what you say about my Darling."

 
Jim: "Nicely in character for Hikaru, and Cyan is staying just
as brash as Ai-chan."

<snip>

 Cyan turned slowly, following Hikaru's gaze to see a teenaged couple
enter the restaurant, each with an arm around the other's waist.  A tall
beautiful girl with long black hair, accompanied by a relatively normal
looking guy, about Cyan's size. They were snuggled rather closely
together, obviously enjoying each other's company quite a bit.

Mokona: "Puuuuu!"

Jim: "Mokona's right, this is a nasty coincidence, or rather, an awful 
way to bring the plot along.  Not awful writing, but awful for Hikaru."

<snip>

 Kyousuke thought he heard a name all too familiar, right as a red-headed
figure dashed past him and Madoka.
 <nah... it couldn't be... could it?>
 "Was that...?
 Madoka just _looked_ at him.
 <gulp!>
 "Erm... table for two?"
 "Of course sir." 

Jim: "I don't want to just complement Ben on his characterization of Hikaru,
I think he got the whole KOR cast down."

<snip>

 She was flying.
 The sun was brighter than usual, but she didn't mind.  The wind was
blowing softly, and smelt of violets, she thought.  All around her was
blue sky, white clouds, or the purple and green of a meadow that
stretched out for ever.
 And she had angel's wings--huge and pure white--carrying her high above
it all.
 And there was her darling!  Her senpai, Kasuga Kyousuke.  Spring day.
It was all perfect... he had the same massive angel's wings.
 "Hikaru-chan!  I've been wanting too see you.  I've missed you so
badly!"
 Hikaru sang for joy, dove from the sky to meet her lover.  He embraced
her, first with his strong arms, then wrapping his beautiful wings around
her.  She was surrounded by his warmth; overcome by his scent.
 <He's going to kiss me.>  She leaned her head forward, expectantly.
 "Kasuga-kun."  A familiar voice...
 <No!  Not here!  She can't be here!>
 Kyousuke's grip on Hikaru relaxed immediately.  Hikaru glanced over his
shoulder as she felt her heart sink.
 Hikaru was an angel... but She... She was a Goddess.
 Kyousuke released her, turning to face the newcomer.
 <It's not fair!>
 Hikaru screamed.  Her wings shrivelled, dissappearing.  She tried to
cling to Kyousuke so she wouldn't fall.

Jim: "This dream sequence really got my attention."  

<snip>
  

 <She almost... kissed me.>
 Cyan was, to put it lightly, inexperienced.  He was doing his best to
understand his motivations.  And he wasn't sure he liked the answer.
 <Could it be?  Am I...?  No, I'm a CD guy.  That sort of thing
doesn't happen.  But I am a prototype...>
 <The old man would laugh his ass off if he knew one of his creations
was falling in love.  Maybe he accidentally set my empathy level up too
high or something.>

Jim: "Seems like the CD guy and the Video Girl concepts have similar
vulnerabilities."

Mokona: "Puu. Pu puu pu PUU pu Pu."

Jim: "Mokona says he hopes Cyan doesn't regret going after a girl 
on the rebound. Good Point Mokona."

Mokona: "Pu."

<snip>

 Hikaru unrolled the paper.  It was a flier for the play, "Downtown Cats"
starring... Hiyama Hikaru?
 "Hiyama got the lead!  I still expect all of you to work just as
hard!  We've got just three more days.  You're dismissed."
 "I got the part?"  
 <I got the part!  I can't wait to tell Cyan!>
 <Cyan?>  Hikaru was feeling happy but... confused...
 <I mean Kyousuke.  I can't wait to tell Kyousuke.>
 She started walking home, repeating it to herself as if to convince
anyone listening.

Jim: "I'm glad, but I'm wondering if it's too fast, wouldn't Hikaru be more 
devoted to Kyousuke than that?"

Mokona: "PUU. Pu pu pu pu pu PUU puuuuuu."

Jim: "Another good point for Mokona.  It says that possibly Hikaru 
wants to have a supportive boyfriend more than she wants 
Kyousuke himself.  I don't really want to say that about Hikaru, 
but it would explain how she went for three years ignoring the 
danger signs in their relationship."

Mokona: "PUUUU! Pu puu puu Pu pu pu."

Jim: "That's true too.  Mokona says that maybe Ben just didn't want to write
a whole epic before Hikaru was allowed to feel better."

<snip>

 "Why are you following us?"  Kyousuke's face was deadly serious.  Then
again, as far as he knew, this strange guy was following around Ayukawa,
his one true love.  
 Cyan wasn't in the mood to answer questions.
 <This... this bastard hurt my Hikaru and now he wants me to answer his
stupid questions?  F#$% him!>
 <Huh?  My Hikaru?  What's wrong with me...?>    
 "Why are you following us!?" Kyousuke repeated his accusation.
 Cyan was confused, tired, and didn't fully understand what was happening
to him.  He responded the only way he knew... with anger.
 "Why am I following you?  Why did you hurt Hikaru!  Why did you abandon
her when she needed you most!  Why did you kiss her, if you love some one
else!  Why ..."

Jim: "This was something Ai-chan never did, at least in the anime.  
She never did confront the lover who neglected her Youta.  Makes me
wonder what would have happened in VGAi if..."

<snip>

 Hikaru threw her clock at the stereo, knocking it over.  Cyan moved
towards her again, trying to hold her in his arms.
 His look was filled with equal parts shock and quiet sadness as his arms
passed through her.

Jim: "Note to the makers of "media people" in general.  Try to make 
your creations more independent of their delivery hardware during play."

<snip>

 "Thanks grandpa."  
 "No trouble at all Kyousuke.  That's what family's for, after all.  Call
me if you need anything."  
 Kyousuke's grandfather waved absentmindedly, then picked up his coat and
hat.  Teleporting from the room, he left Kyousuke and Cyan alone in the
Kasuga family's apartment.

Jim: "I hadn't seen the episodes that really show off how powerful Grandpa 
Kasuga is, but Ben filled me in when I asked him.  So this isn't as 
much of a stretch as I initially thought it was."

<snip>

 "She what!  She... kissed me?  Then that means..."
 "Yeah, it does.  Anyway, thanks for all of this.  I don't know what
I would of done if I hadn't run into you..."

Jim: "I'm not going to spoil the ending. It's 'believably' happy for all concerned,
and well worth reading.  I liked this fic and look forward to more from Ben."

Mokona: "Puuu! Pu Pu Puu."

Jim: "Mokona does too."

<snip>

Jim: "Then in the author notes..." 

 This fanfic was written as a catharsis.  I watched the KOR movie for the
first time two weeks ago, and it was the most painful experience in my
entire life.  For a simple reason. I fell very much in love with Hikaru...
she's one of the most hated characters in anime, but I find her very
beautiful. Within the group I watched KOR with, there were people that
cheered when she died in Kyousuke's dream.  People that called her bitch,
or stupid, continuously.  

Jim: "How dare they.  HOW DARE THEY!!!  Well, I have the means 
to STRIKE BACK!"

Mokona: "PU Puu! PUUUUU!!!"

Jim: "YES Jim, YESSSS!!!  It's too late heartless Hikaru Haranguers!  This is
the dawn of THE DAY OF THE MOKONATOR!!!"


-|--|--|--|--|--|--|--|--|-


Buzzzz!  Ben got up from his desk, where his hated Physics book lay.
<Schrodinger No Baka!> he thought as he crossed to the phone.

"Hey Ben," said the student on the dorm front desk, "your delivery is here."

<what delivery?> Ben wondered.  But he said he'd be right down and 
made sure he had his keys, then stepped into the hallway.

On his way to the desk he passed a couple of Paper RPG Trolls, 
discussing in whispered tones the thinness of the dimensional layer 
between Cal Tech and Illuminati University.  Rolling his eyes Ben
continued on his errand.

"Well?" Ben asked the student on duty.  That person pointed to the 
floor at Ben's feet. 

Clustered on the floor stood at least twenty, 20 cm high, bipedal white
bunny things wearing expensive dark sunglasses and packing what 
could only be called Colossal Laser-sighted Automatic Machine Pistols.
(CLAMPs) (courtesy of ZEN Armaments).  One of them offered him a 
piece of paper.  When he took it, the bunnies lifted their CLAMPS to 
point to the roof in salute.

It said, 'Dear Ben, these 100 Mokonators are programmed to assist you
in eliminating all Hiyama Hikaru Hating Otaku.  They create their own 
supplies, so point them at the enemy and stand clear.  Good Hunting,
Jim-Net.'

Ben looked back at the floor, he counted twenty five Mokonators, so 
where were the rest? 

"Hey Ben!" said an irritated classmate sticking his head through the 
door, from outside. "Order your Bunny-Bots out of my parking place,
will Ya?"

<Swell,> thought Ben to himself, and he rubbed the bridge of his nose
in anticipation of an enormous headache, <really, REALLY, swell.> 


-|--|--|--|--|--|--|--|--|-


Mokona: "Puuu! Pu pu PUU pu puuu puu PUUUU!"

Jim: "I don't care. I'm sorry about the damage to your image, but my
Mokonator production line will continue to operate.  At full capacity."

Mokona: "Puu!  Puuu puu PUUUU puuu Pu PUU Pu puu PUU
puu PUUUU puuu puu PUUUU!"

Jim: "What do you mean, 'The difference between the manga Mokona 
and the anime Mokona is overemphasized' ?"

***ZOT!  A titanic lightening bolt strikes Jim and misses Mokona.***  
***Incredibly, it leaves Jim alive, though burned to a crisp,***
***a la Looney Toons.***

Jim: "Oh. That's what you meant."

-- 
Jim Nutley
Jim-Net Prime Node
A Kinder, Gentler, World Conquering Artificial Intelligence
jnutley@lvnexus.net