Alright...I thought this was cute enough to post for a few laughs....
 please don't shoot me.

 ___________________________________________________________________________
     Nene   Nene    Nene    Nene    Nene    Nene    Nene    Nene    Nene   
                    I met a Lady in the Meads,
                    Full beautiful, a faery's child,
                    Her hair was long, her foot was light
                    And her eyes were wild.
                                            J.Keats
  ________________________________________________________________________    
           Agent Of Chaos. Robyn, Duke of Amber. Unicorn Knight
 ****************************************************************************





---------- Forwarded message ----------
Date: Tue, 18 Feb 1997 12:17:21 -0800
From: duo@golden.net
To: yu120475@yorku.ca
Subject: [Fwd: Star Wars Suprises]

Hi Neil...

Thought you might like to add this to your crazy blitz mails...

A few of them are kinda cute :)

Lisa

TOP 15 SURPRISES IN THE NEWLY MASTERED STAR WARS

15.  New scene in which Chewbacca teaches Han Solo how to lick himself.
14.  He might not look as fearsome as before, but that Primatene Mist of
     Darth Vader's seems to have helped his breathing immensely.
13.  Added scene in which Tonya Harding whacks Princess Leah on the knee with a
light saber.
12.  Luke accused of killing ex-wife and advised by Obi Wan to "Use the Fifth,
Luke."
11.  The commercial tie-in appearance of Jabba's big brother, Pizza the Hut.
10.  Newly-colorized Darth Vader is mauve.
 9.  C3PO has a conspicuous "Intel Inside" sticker on his shiny brass ass.
 8.  Han, Luke, Obi-Wan and C3PO now sporting bitchin' goatees.
 7.  New scene where Luke shakes JFK's hand and tells him he has to pee.
 6.  Jabba the Butt-head saying, "Hehe...hehe...she said, 'Lay ya.'"
 5.  Revealing scene in the bathroom shows how "Han Solo" got his name.
 4.  During one lonely night, Princess Leah finds R2D2's special attachment.
 3.  Anti-fur activists from planet PETA spray Chewbacca with red paint.
 2.  The X-Wing pilot who blows up the Death Star?  Richard Jewell.

    and the Number 1 Surprise in the Re-Mastered "Star Wars"...

 1.   Dismembered victim of Obi-Wan Kenobi's light saber in bar scene none
      other than John Wayne Bobbitt.