First part of Chapter 16

Chapter 16 - and Consequences...
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Belldandy coughed politely, attracting our attention.
"Sisters? We are getting away from the point, which is what we are
going to do to about our debt to these two."

Urd and Skuld both looked serious for once, settling beside their
sister as she continued speaking.

"We have a problem. We owe you and Iczer-2 a debt we cannot really
repay, and the only way we can even attempt to do so, by healing you
both, is forbidden. If we do it anyway, we violate other and older
obligations to those in our care, since we cannot fulfill those while
we are being punished for violating heaven's laws. So we need to find
a solution around this."

Urd looked very thoughtful at that, her eyes looking a little 
unfocussed. I wondered what she was thinking. Then she suddenly spoke.

"Skuld? Can I have a word with you for a moment? I have an idea..."

Skuld nodded, and the two of them went over into a corner, starting a
conversation which steadily grew more agitated and heated, judging by
the gestures and the increasingly fast typing Skuld was doing on her
PDA pad. I wished they'd been speaking in a language I could
understand, I hated watching it and having no idea what was going on,
but at least it was a distraction for me that took my thoughts away
from things I didn't want to have to think about.

Finally Skuld threw up her hands, scowling at Urd who stood there with
a big grin on her face. It looked as if she'd finally admitted defeat,
as the two of them came back over.

Urd beamed at me.
"Well, we have an idea we think will work!"

I started to get worried again. Oh god, I was in the hands of 
engineers...
"That you _think_ will work? Uh, just what does this entail?"

Urd smiled still wider, looking like a cat that had got into the cream
bowl. "Its simple, really. We aren't allowed to use more than a
certain amount of power on a mortal like you. However we need more
than that permitted amount to heal Iczer-2 or yourself. So, we merge
the two of you, and as we do we do the healing, using _both_
allowances of power on one of you, thus we aren't really breaking the
rules, because they don't cover this sort of thing anyway!"

I frowned, trying to get this all together. Urd's idea of 'simple' was
obviously rather different from mine.

"Let me see if I understand all this. You can't heal both of us 
sufficiently, but you can heal one of us if you used both allowances
of magic on one person. However you can't do that, it's forbidden.
BUT, if you merge us, and THEN add the two 'doses' together, you CAN
heal one of us completely, but then we'll be 'merged', whatever that
is. And that doesn't actually break any rules, because they don't
cover it. Am I right so far?"

Skuld nodded.
"That's about it! Of course, there are a few trivial technical details
to sort out, but they wont be any problem, not with me to handle
them!"

Oh, that _was_ reassuring. Considering how drastic I'd found her
solutions to be so far, I wasn't sure I'd trust her to change the fuse
in my toaster, at least not without changing it 'accidentally' into a
nuclear power station. I still felt she didn't really understand human
limitations.

"So... what happens when we 'merge', as you so-delicately put it??"

Urd frowned, biting her lip as she tried to phase her explanation in
terms I could understand.

"Well... we will merge your physical and mental bodies as we do it,
then use all the magic we can to fully heal one of you. Then you'll
both be in one body at a time, but both minds will be present."

I blinked...
"Hang on - one body at a TIME????"

Urd hmmmd.
"Didn't I mention that?"

"No you bloody well DIDN'T!"

She waved one hand loosely in an 'oh dear, silly me!' gesture.
"Ah. Well, we aren't actually destroying anything, so both bodies are
still there, just that one is phased out while the other is here, and
your minds are in both. Is that clear?"

Yeah, clear as mud.
"Phased out? What does that mean?"

"Well... it will be possible for you to switch between the two bodies.
They can't both be in the real world at once, but if you can find
someone who can help you, and fix the other body, then it should be
possible to break the connection again so you are both OK. At least,
we'll try and make it so its only a temporary solution."

Yes, and I knew how permanent 'temporary' solutions tended to be.
Still, at least they were giving us a chance.

"So how do we switch? If its water, Urd, I'm going to kill someone!!!"

Skuld giggled.
"Water? What do you think this is, a Takahashi anime? No, it will be a
mental process. Though it will be different depending on which way you
switch."

"These two minds. How are we going to coexist in one body?"

Urd chuckled at my expression.
"Carefully! Sorry... well, one of you will be dominant, the other will
be along for the ride, as it were. But you should be able to
communicate. At least, I _think_ you will. Honestly, though, we can't
predict it completely; if this has been attempted before it's buried
under a LOAD of security programs. We just don't know until we try."

"Can't you tell which of us will be dominant?"

"Not really. I think it will be you, because while you are both strong
willed, even stubborn people, you have so much more experience of
living, I think you will be the dominant personality. But maybe not."

"Umm, Belldandy? Just how legal is this trick you are suggesting?"

Urd looked innocently up at the ceiling, Skuld buried her face in her
PDA, and Belldandy smiled beatifically in my direction, not meeting my
eyes. Just as I suspected, not very!!

"It isn't actually _illegal_. Though I will admit, we are edging very
close to the boundaries of some restrictions. The combination of
things we are considering may perhaps be illegal when done together,
but as far as we know no-one has ever tried this before, so while it
may be outlawed after, we should get away with the first usage. Also,
we suggest that we help you leave this universe as soon as practicable
afterwards. Once you are out of the direct jurisdiction of the deities
most annoyed by this, most of them will probably leave it at that."

"MOST of them?"

"Well, we don't have any direct power outside of our own universe. But
some gods do have cults elsewhere. They can work through those if they
want, though it does involve a considerable expenditure of effort and
energy. And they have to work with what powers and abilities their
local servants have"

Oh, now I felt _really_ reassured. I could see the wanted posters
already. But it wasn't as if I had any choice, really, they were doing
the best they could for us.

I looked at Skuld.
"Just as long as it doesn't turn out to be as painful as my last
experience as your laboratory rat!!"

She *eeeepd* indignantly, as Urd snickered and Belldandy
diplomatically hid her smile behind a hand.

I watched their reactions for a moment, then steeled myself to ask the
question I'd been putting off by asking all the others.

"If I understand this right, the body you don't heal will be pretty
much as it is now, right?"

She nodded.

"Then... you'll have to heal Iczer-2. Otherwise, if we switch..."

Belldandy looked at me calmly.
"Are you sure? It will mean you living in someone else's body, maybe
in someone else's mind, and she isn't male, or even human?"

I sighed, not looking at anyone.
"What choice do I have? First, it's MY fault she's in this mess, no
matter what you say. I can't evade that responsibility. And logically,
she's much tougher than me physically, so it makes sense from an
impersonal point of view."

Belldandy smiled at me; despite my fears I felt reassured, as though
she was approving of my reasons.

"There is one other benefit. Iczer-2 already has some ability to phase
and to transit dimensions. With a little bit of extra knowledge we
will give, the two of you should be able to travel between worlds.
That will, hopefully, allow you to eventually find someone who can
finish healing you both.

Urd nodded.
"And her other abilities will help you survive. Dimensional travel is
dangerous, as you probably realise by now!"

Boy, did I ever.
"Is it possible to arrange this quickly? I'd... like to do it before I
lose my nerve..."

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I was glad when the three left me alone while they went in to see to
Iczer-2. My thoughts were a dark and chaotic place right now, and I
wanted to be alone in it.

I don't really know how long they were in there, I think that I may
have dozed off. With all the stress I was under I didn't see how, but
maybe one of the goddesses had decided to 'help' me. I woke to see Urd
standing over me.

"You can speak to her if you like."

I blinked, rubbing my eyes.
"She's awake? Have you told her...?

She nodded, her face expressionless.
"Yes, we have. She agrees with you, what we have in mind is the only
viable solution."

I sighed, part in relief that she wasn't going to die, and part in
worry about what that meant for me in terms of Urds's solution.

"Can I see her? I'd like to, before you..."

Urd smiled slightly, and knelt, sliding her arm under me to help me
up.

"Go on. Let us know when you're both ready."

I nodded, and walked over to the door carefully, as she led me into
the next room. Lying on a futon, a sheet over her, was Iczer-2. She
didn't look good. Her skin was deathly white; while I remembered her
as being pale when I'd seen her before, this was not a healthy colour.
The paleness was marred by scars, and the dark blemishes of bruising
stood out in sharp relief. I stopped for a moment, waiting as she
turned her head slowly to look at me. Her eyes met mine, and I looked
deep into them, as she smiled slightly, painfully. "Please..."

I nodded, and let Urd go, walking unsteadily over to where she lay, to
sat down carefully next to her; neither my movements or my balance
were what I was used to. Her right hand, the uninjured one, lay on the
bed, and I took it carefully in mine. Doing that gave me an excuse not
to meet her eyes for a while.

"They told you?"

"That I'm dying? Yes. And that there is a possible solution."

I squeezed her hand very gently.
"I'm so sorry. It's all my fault, I should never have summoned you
here."

She turned her head slightly to look at me squarely. Even in her
current state, I could feel the force of her personality.

"Oh, so you didn't want to be my partner? Should I release you from
that?"

That shocked me enough to meet her eyes again.
"But I.. no, I mean I want to, uh.. I mean..."

She tried to chuckle, an effort that started her coughing harshly, her
hand gripping mine tighter until the spasm stopped. "Foolish. I'm an
empath, you can't lie to me, I know how you're feeling."

I must have looked stupid.
"An empath??".

She nodded.
"Didn't you realise? I take your power via your emotions, that's why
it's much more powerful when you are angry or upset. Your emotions are
much more open, its easier to draw the power. But in order to do that,
I have to be an empath. How can I use your emotions if I can't feel
them?"

"I didn't realise. There's so much I don't know about you..."

Her eyes were deep cobalt wells of sadness as they gazed deep into
mine. "I'd... hoped to have the chance for us both to find out. I've
wanted a partner for so long..."

I sighed, shutting my eyes. I couldn't meet the hurt and pain in hers.

"You have one now. For as long as you want him."

"I may not have you for long. This - solution - those three proposed,
it doesn't sound very likely to work.

I squeezed her hand again, trying to reassure her.
"Trust them, they know what they're doing. Anyway, at least their
proposal gives us a fighting chance, doesn't it?"

She gave me a twisted smile.
"Well, I can't deny that I enjoy fighting. And as everyone keeps
telling me, it's what I do best... It's just that I wish that it
wasn't all people think I'm good for."

"Then that was why you seemed upset - when I summoned you, and asked
you to fight?"

"Yes... I understand why you did, don't worry. Loki needed stopping;
Belldandy told me what he planned. It's being able to use my skills to
an end like that that makes me glad I am so good at fighting. But... I
suppose I keep hoping that someday someone will want me for other
reasons. We all have foolish dreams, don't we?"

I smiled at her, and reached out, my finger very softly stroking down
one cheek. "They don't have to be foolish..."

Her hand slipped out of mine, pressing my other hand against her face.
"Promise me one thing?"

"Of course..."

"Just don't leave me. I don't want to be alone again..."

I nodded, and leant forward, as I kissed her forehead very softly.

"I won't leave you."

She smiled up at me for a long moment.
"I'll hold you to that. Well, we'd better get them in and start,
waiting isn't going to help.

I got up, already stiff despite the short time we'd been together. My
thoughts and emotions were still in turmoil. I don't know what I'd
expected from her, how she'd be, only that I was pretty certain it
wasn't this... But I'd keep my promise to her, it was the least I
could do. If I had other reasons, my subconscious was keeping them
firmly to itself.

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