Woo Hoo.  Yet another chapter done after a month of doing absolutely
nothing except for god awful school work.  Heh heh, I think I'm going
insane.  Well, that's besides the fact.  Between IRC'ing and studying, I
really haven't had the time to do much else.  So here is proof that I can
still do work....  Enjoy this lame example of a the weirdest twist in the
Ranmaverse, as we see the devotion of Mousse to his love, Shampoo, etc.
etc. etc.


Chapter 12: The Dating Game, part 1

    Weekend, a time for relaxation.  A time for calmness and for the
pursuit of love.  That was Shampoo's mission, that fateful Saturday
morning.  Humming a cheerful song to herself, Shampoo walked briskly to the
Saotome Dojo, with one purpose:  to beg Ranma to treat her to date.
Shampoo, unable to calm herself, felt her heart beat loudly as she
approached the gates of the dojo.  'I've spent so much time this week
working, and I do deserve a little time off.'  Fortunately, Cologne had
similar ideas as well, and had granted Shampoo a weekend off.

    Mousse gallantly strode behind Shampoo, feeling a certain joy in
watching his love's pleasure.  Fortunately for Ranma and Shampoo, Mousse
was a traditionalist, and he completely followed the matriarchal society of
the Amazons.  He never questioned Shampoo, and he dedicated his life to
pleasing Shampoo.  Shampoo knew that Mousse loved her as well, and she
reciprocated his love.  But she also loved Ranma as well.

    Quickly opening the gate for Shampoo, and evoking a displeased yet
amused expression from Shampoo.  "Mousse so silly!  Shampoo strong enough
to open door.  Shampoo break door too!"  

    "Ranma!  You've become too soft!  You hardly have given me a workout at
all!"  panted Genma, who was on the roof, staring down at Ranma, who was
also breathing heavily.  "If you allow yourself to be this weak, I'd have
failed miserably as a father."  Ranma, as soon as he heard this speech,
expected Genma to break down and cry, lamenting his miserable skills as a
father.  Instead, Genma had feinted, and lunged as he spoke.

    Ranma too had serious doubts, and dodged out of range of the spear that
Genma slammed into the ground.  Genma snickered as he yanked the spear out
of the ground, and assumed a battle stance.  "Boy!  See!  You couldn't land
an attack on me!"  Genma started to laugh rather excessively, until he
noticed Ranma pointing at him.  Genma looked around wildly, and his eyes
landed on the head of the spear, which had been split down the center.

    "See father!  I have more abilities than you think!"  Ranma charged
forward, and drew his short sword in a circular motion.  His body continued
spinning so that his blade sliced an arc through the air, through Genma's
gi, and through a stone statue in the yard.  And in less than one second,
Ranma had sheathed his blade, and looked Genma fiercely in the eye.  Genma
paled for a moment.

    Ranma burst into laughter.  It was amusing for him to see his father
squirm.  Just at that moment, a purple haired beauty entered the yard
rather calmly.  "Ranma!"  Shampoo called out in Chinese.  "I'm free this
evening.  Can you please take me out on a date?  Please?"

    Kodachi and Ukyo appeared in the doorway to the house as soon as
Shampoo arrived.  Ukyo naturally thought that Shampoo wanted to have a
little fun with Ranma, privately.  Kodachi thought along similar lines, but
it didn't impede her manners at all.  "Hi Shampoo, Mousse!  What are you
doing here?"  As soon as the two girls showed up, Ranma started to blush
considerably.  Ok, so there was a pretty girl, acting normally and politely
for once, in front of him.  A pretty girl begging for him to take her out
on a date.

    Ranma paused for a moment as he watched his three friends and thought
about the Tendo's.  Seriously, Ranma would have conceded to taking Shampoo
out to have a little fun, but he was beginning to have serious doubts, as
Ukyo was clearly disturbed by Shampoo's presence.  Ranma cleared his
throat.  "I'm sorry, but I have to train this weekend.  I can't take you
out on a date."

    Tears welled up in Shampoo's eyes, as she watched another one of her
attempts to win Ranma's heart crumble down into dust.  She turned around
and walked away, causing Ranma to panic somewhat.  He put his hand on his
shoulder.  "Shampoo." he started.

    Shampoo just snapped back at Ranma, in broken Japanese.  "Shampoo know
Ranma!  Ranma love Spatula Girl.  Ranma hate Shampoo!  Shampoo go!"  Ranma
hadn't wanted this to happen, and he stuttered as Shampoo left the Dojo
quickly.

    "Shampoo!  I-I"  Ranma gave up, for Shampoo tried not to listen to his
words, and walked off, leaving Ranma quite alone in the yard.

    Ranma  thought to himself as he practiced with his sword.  'Why should
Shampoo act that way?  I mean she's a very nice person, and I value our
friendship.  Why did she have to act up like that?'  Ranma was so concerned
about his friend's distress, that he didn't have time to dodge a blow that
knocked him out.

    Shampoo cried to herself as she dashed rather blindly into the
Nekohanten.  She had set all of her hopes on dating Ranma, but he had acted
weirdly.  He had taken a look at Ukyo and Kodachi, and then decided against
it.  Shampoo sadly thought to herself as she settled into the Nekohanten.
'Ranma must hate me.  He loves Ukyo or Kodachi.'

    Shampoo was so preoccupied with her thoughts that she immediately
notice Mousse, sitting on the table, grinning like a cat that had caught
and eaten a live mouse.  Mousse had been nervously fiddling with his
fingers, when he suddenly looked up into Shampoo's eyes.  "Shampoo, my
love.  It pains me to see you suffer.  That's why I brought this with me."
Mousse reached behind him, and pulled up Ranma, who was still quite
unconscious.

    Shampoo's eyes opened wide, and she looked at Mousse with an accusatory
look.  "What did you do?"  she asked carefully in Chinese.  If there was
one thing that Mousse didn't have, it was common sense.  But, Shampoo felt
his other qualities made up for that minor blemish.

    "I made him come so he could take you out on a date."  Mousse looked at
Shampoo, as if he were a very affectionate pit bull.  Shampoo stammered for
a moment, shocked that Mousse had deliberately did this for her, shocked
that Ranma was unconscious in front of her.  She nervously twirled a couple
strands of purple hair as she attempted to make Mousse understand.

    "Mousse, you didn't have to do this.  But thanks for the thought."
Shampoo gave Mousse a quick kiss.  "Could you leave me alone with Ranma for
awhile?"  Mousse nodded, and respecting Shampoo's privacy, he left.
Shampoo then turned to Ranma, whose head was resting on the table, and sighed.

* * *

    Ranma groaned as consciousness was thrust into his throbbing head.
"Oh, who hit me!"  Ranma's eyes scanned the room for a moment, unfocused.
He could barely make out shadows, lights, and the vague outlines of
objects.  Slowly his vision settled down, and he found himself staring at
Shampoo, who was clearly worried.  "Shampoo!"  Ranma sat up straight,
surprising even Shampoo.

    Shampoo looked nervous, and blushed as she tried to tell Ranma what
happened without making him angry.  "I'm so sorry!  Mousse got carried
away, and he was the one who hit you and carried you here.  He won't bother
you again."  Shampoo went silent.  She really didn't know what to say.

    Ranma while unconscious had thought over Shampoo's request for a date,
and as his mind fully restored itself, he found no fault in going out on a
date with Shampoo.  It was a natural thing, for two friends to hang out.
Besides, Ranma felt that it was time that he returned some of Shampoo's
favors and showed an appreciation of her.  Ranma, he constantly got free
food from Shampoo.  He shrugged his shoulders.  "Shampoo, I won't mind
going on a date with you.  Just don't let it get too serious."

    That definitely cheered up Shampoo, and Ranma mentally groaned as he
didn't know why he conceded to Shampoo.  Ranma thought it over.  'I really
shouldn't do this at all.  I mean, I need to train tonight.  But she was so
since, and I felt that I couldn't let her down at all.  Besides, it's
completely understandable.  We're all friends, anyway.'  Well, it wouldn't
have been a good idea to change his mind, so Ranma went ahead.  "Ok, I'll
be here around seven.  We can go out to the movies or something."

* * *

    Both Kodachi and Ukyo were perplexed with Ranma's change in attitude
that afternoon.  For one thing, he had panicked when he thought he had hurt
Shampoo's feelings, and then disappeared for a good two hours or so,
completely neglecting his training.  This was so uncharacteristic of Ranma,
that Ukyo and Kodachi were theorizing.  "See, the way I see it is that
Ranma got tired, and then he decided to take a really long walk,"  Ukyo
said as she swung her spatula at Kodachi.

    Kodachi deftly dodged be leaping backwards onto the roof.  Swinging her
ribbon around, she leaped down on to Ukyo, but she was quite surprised by
the sudden appearance of Ranma leaping over the fence.  This moment of
hesitation provided Ukyo with an opening, and she swung.  The spatula
lazily flew through the air, and made contact with Kodachi.  Kodachi hadn't
expected the blow, and she flew through the air uncontrolled.

    Ranma leaped, and he snatched Kodachi from midair, and landed with her
in his arms.  "Are you ok?"  Ranma looked down at Kodachi, with extreme
concern.  If Kodachi hadn't been careful, he could have had lost one of his
friends.  Ranma shuddered at the thought, for he valued his friends
greatly, and couldn't bear to part with anyone of them.

    Ranma gently put Kodachi down on her feet, and she almost immediately
turned her face away because she could feel the blood rushing into her
face.  "Thank you Ranma," she whispered.  Ranma just smiled, as he walked
into the house.

    "Hey, Ranma.  Are you going to train?"  Ukyo said as she leaned against
the doorway.  "I mean, you never miss a training session."

    "Oh nothing, I promised to take Shampoo out later.  I mean, she was
feeling kind of sad, and I felt really sorry for her..."  Ranma never had a
chance to finish, since Ukyo had grabbed his collars and reeled him in.
Kodachi looked up, and she approached Ranma slowly.  Ranma's voice died
down as soon as he saw Ukyo's face.

    "What!" shouted Ukyo,  "You actually agreed to go elope with that
Chinese bimbo!"  Ranma almost flinched when he heard Ukyo's pet name for
Shampoo, but considering the number of bulging veins in Ukyo's forehead, he
decided that he should try to calm down his friend, before telling her that
Shampoo happened to be an intelligent person.  It just was that her accent
often belied her true wit.

    "No, we're not going to do anything like that!  Maybe a little dinner,
and a movie that's all.  It's nothing serious really!"  Ranma stood
helplessly as he felt Ukyo's hot breath in his face, he turned to Kodachi
for help.  Kodachi, although not enchanted with Ranma's date, decided to
take his side.

    "Come on, Ukyo.  Let Ranma go.  He said that he isn't going to do
anything."  Ukyo, out numbered by two, reluctantly released Ranma.  Well,
although she didn't want to admit it, she kind of enjoyed the lack of
distance between her and Ranma.  Embarassed, she fiddled with Ranma's collar.

    "I'm sorry Ranma.  It's just that I don't trust her."  Ukyo shivered as
she imagined such atrocities such as Shampoo drugging Ranma and then
forcing him to marry her.  Then her mind wandered to more scary
possibilities, such as Shampoo seducing Ranma into such a state that he
would no longer focus on other women.  

    Ranma instinctively felt something wrong with Ukyo.  She was just too
worried, and that kind of made Ranma think a little.  Trying to ease the
tensions that were surfacing on Ukyo's face, Ranma hugged Ukyo, somewhat
making Kodachi jealous.  "Never mind, nothing is going to happen.  Believe
me.  We're just going to go out for a little fun.  What can possibly
happen?"  Ranma walked into his room, and closed the door behind him.

    Both Ukyo and Kodachi looked up with similar thoughts on their minds.
'Yeah right.'  And both silently vowed to keep a look out on Ranma's date.

* * *

    Shampoo snuggled close to Ranma, who was completely interested in the
movie that was being projected onto the giant screen in front of them.
Slowly, she inched closer and closer until their shadows became one.  Ranma
all the while didn't notice the approaching Shampoo, until he noticed that
someone was lightly breathing on his face.  Ranma snapped his attention
from the movie to Shampoo, who was sitting next to him, her head about to
make contact with him.  Ranma gulped visibly, which was by no means an
amazing feat for the theater was almost perfectly dark.

    Fortunately Ranma and Shampoo were not alone in this theater.  No,
Ukyo, who was quite worried about Ranma, had managed to persuade Kodachi to
come along with her to check up on Shampoo and Ranma.  Ukyo almost gritted
her teeth into powder when she saw Shampoo's bold advances.  Before she
could control herself, she found herself standing up, and attempting to
shout down at Shampoo.

    "Hey!  Lady!  Get out of my way!  I want to see the movie!"  Ukyo
groaned inwardly, as she reluctantly took her seat.  Feeling powerless to
do anything, she stared neutrally at the scene before her, somewhat
thankful that Ranma and Shampoo were at least not kissing.

    Ranma was at first unsettled about Shampoo being so close to him.  For
one thing, it did feel nice to have a girl close to him, but on the other
hand, some voice in his mind was telling him that it wasn't proper.  Well,
fortunately, Shampoo for the moment didn't go any further, and Ranma was
able to turn his attention back to the movie.

    Ukyo fidgeted as she watched Shampoo meld into Ranma for a good six
minutes, and she felt her anger froth and churn within her.  Unable to
suppress herself any further, she shot up straight, and shouted down.
Before she could even finish her first word, she felt a bag of popcorn
impact with her head, and hot, butter-coated popcorn showered onto her and
Kodachi, who was intensely watching the movie.

    "Ukyo!  Sit down!"  hissed Kodachi, who was quite annoyed to receive a
generous serving of hot, greasy popcorn into her hair in less than a few
moments.  Ukyo shot Kodachi a look, and she unwillingly settled into her
seat, completely ignoring the fact the she just sat down on a bag filled
with popcorn, salt, and oil in a 50%-50%-50% proportion. (I just doesn't
seem to add up, doesn't it?  But we must take into account my bad
experiences with theater popcorn.)  She felt some slick fluid slowly soak
through her pants, and surprised, she jumped up again.

     "Hey!  I told you sit down!"  Ukyo strained her head to take a good
look at the seat of her pants, only to find a small oil stain.  Ukyo was
too focused on her pants that various dissenters in the rows behind her
started to throw their popcorn at the unfortunate Ukyo.  Even a few cups of
soda pop managed to find their way into the perpetual hail of food that
landed on Ukyo and Kodachi.

* * *

    "That was a good movie, Ranma!" Shampoo said quite happily as the
couple exited the theater.  Ranma smiled as he nodded back.  The movie,
although not really suited to his usual tastes, was surprisingly
interesting enough that he didn't fall asleep at all in the theater.

    "So, let's go get something to eat.  I'm starved."  Ranma led Shampoo
out of the theater through the huge crowd of people.

    Later, another couple left the theater.  It was Kodachi's turn to give
Ukyo the dirty look.  "I'm never going to the theater with you."  Kodachi
shook her head, causing a stream of soggy-popcorn to rain onto the ground,
and she quickly walked out of the theater, closely followed by Ukyo, who
looked as if she had been swimming in a giant pool of cola and popcorn.  As
they left the theater, their shoes, which had become rather sticky from the
drying soda, made noises as they left.

    "Hey!  Aren't you the slightest bit worried about what Ranma might do
with Shampoo?"  Ukyo was following Kodachi, who had her mind set on walking
home.  Ukyo watched with satisfaction as Kodachi stopped in her tracks.

    Kodachi turned around and gave Ukyo a piece of her mind.  "Ukyo, of
course I'm worried, but I know I can trust Ranma.  He'll know what to do.
Now, I'm going home, before I can make myself look even more foolish."
Kodachi walked briskly away

    Kodachi, having taken a shower and changed her clothes, was laying out
on the porch, staring at the sky, lost for words.  She had been trying not
to think about Ranma and Shampoo, but she couldn't help herself.  Staring
up at the stars, Kodachi looked at a particularly bright star, which
flickered faintly against the black satin sky.  Idly, she gazed upwards,
until a person accidentally tripped and landed on top of her.

* * *

    Ranma mumbled to himself as he walked home, quite angry that the fun
had to end so soon.  He had to admit to himself that Shampoo, when she
wasn't so crazy, was a great person to hang out with.  But then again,
Ranma felt responsible for ruining the light mood, when he nailed the
waiter because he had mocked Shampoo.  Of course, Shampoo, since her
Japanese wasn't that good, didn't understand, but once Ranma had explained
what the waiter had said, the waiter got more than he really deserved.

    Unfortunately, Ranma and Shampoo were thrown out of the restaurant, and
considering the disorder they had created, Ranma and Shampoo had decided to
call it a night, even though the sun had just set.

    Well, a rather cool night with brisk air can do wonders to a man, and
Ranma had returned to more jovial thoughts as he entered his home.
Instinctively, Ranma walked into the strangely dark house, and to his
dismay found himself falling forward.  Ranma shot his hands forward to
prevent the fall, but he was in a sense too late.  Surprised, Ranma felt
his hands hit the ground, and his body came to a rest against something.

    Kodachi suddenly found the stars above her blanking out, and she felt
someone land on top of her, his body uncomfortably close to hers.  Kodachi
gasped.

    Ranma paled when he heard a gasp, and he felt the blood rush to his
head as he thought about what exactly cushioned his fall.  He struggled to
get up.  "Kodachi!  What are you doing here?"  Just at that moment, the
light turned on, and Ukyo walked into the room just in time to see Ranma
and Kodachi in a rather compromising position.

    "Well, I can see that you two are getting well acquainted, I guess I
really don't really mean anything to you."  Ukyo stormed out of the room.

    Ranma tried to stop Ukyo, and he hopeless tried to get off of Kodachi.
"Ukyo!  Stop!  This isn't what is seems!  We're doing nothing!"  Ranma
sighed, and he slumped forwards, depressed.  However, it seemed that Ranma
had forgotten Kodachi's presence, and he stopped himself inches away from
another compromising position.  Ranma visibly gulped as he got quite an
eyeful of Kodachi's pajamas.

    Kodachi ignored Ranma's obvious reaction, and she pushed him back and
helped him stand up.  "Never mind.  I'll tell Ukyo."  Kodachi gave Ranma a
quick hug, and she left the room.

* * *

    "Is it true?  Is it true that your son, Ranma, went out on a date?"
roared Soun, who was quite displeased when Genma had mentioned Ranma's date
in the middle of a shogi game.  "Have your forgotten the deal?  The promise
you made?  You said that you would encourage Ranma to marry one of my
daughters, and yet you sit here calm, knowing that he went out on a date!"
Genma started to worry for his friend's voice started to edge into the insane.

    "Well, it actually isn't all that bad.  Ranma was just a little bored,
and besides," Genma peered around carefully as he leaned close to whisper.
"Nodoka would kill me if I had interfered.  She thinks it's great that
Ranma is beginning to date."  Genma saw red flames that burned fiercely in
Soun's eyes, and he didn't want to think what his old friend was thinking.

    Soun stared at Genma for a good four minutes, during which Genma prayed
that he wouldn't break down.  Soun spoke.  "Very well, I'll let this
incident slide, if Ranma dates all three of my daughters."

    Genma looked incredulously at Soun, for it seemed that Soun had lost
all of his marbles.  "And since when did you think you could convince your
daughters to agree on such a deal?  It's like today, the children never
listen to their parents' wishes.  And besides, do you think Ranma dating
three women at a time is a little too much?"  Genma scratched his balding
head.

    Soun fell backwards, slightly surprised.  "What!?  Saotome!  I meant
that Ranma should date my daughters, separately.  And besides, I have a
feeling that they might be looking forward to this experience."

    Genma yawned as he reached into the bowl of potato chips next to him
and helped himself to a handful.  "Let me guess this Tendo, you intend to
threaten your daughters if they should refuse to date Ranma?"

    Soun started to choke in rage, as he shouted back at Genma.  "What do
you mean?  I would never do such a thing!  And why would I do such a
thing?"  Soun was definitely insulted by Genma's allegations.

    "You did threaten physical violence to that poor food vendor 20 years
ago, if I do remember correctly."  Genma presented his trump card to Soun,
as he brutally crunched a handful of chips.  A long time ago, Tendo had
been often quick to anger, but unknown to all, it was a direct result of
his jealousy of Genma, which had since died away.

    Soun started to laugh.  "No, Saotome.  I do not need to force my
daughters."  He leaned forward, with a look of glee on his face.  "Believe
me, they will be quite willing."  He flashed Genma an all-knowing look on
his face.

* * *

    "I can't believe it!  The nerve of Mr. Saotome and Mr. Tendo.  How dare
they force Ran-chan into three dates!  It's not ethical, it's not proper!"
Ukyo shouted to no one in particular as she crushed a punching dummy into a
flat mess with her spatula.  Her hair was in tangles and her attire was
slightly messy, indicating that her life was not going as smoothly as she'd
like.

    "Ucchan..."  Ukyo whirled around just in time to give Ranma a full dose
of her withering glare.  Her glare was so wicked, so bone chilling that
even Ranma decided that it'll be best that he talk to Ukyo, but at a later
time.  "... oh, never mind."  Ranma started to leave.

    Ukyo realizing that it was Ranma, soften immediately.  "Oh Ranma, I'm
sorry for treating you so poorly."  Wrapping her arms around Ranma, she
"convinced" him not to leave.  "Please don't leave so soon, I need to ask
you something."  Ukyo turned Ranma around, so she could actually take a
good look at him.  "Is it true that you are going to ask Kasumi, Nabiki,
and Akane out on dates?"

    Ranma smiled.  "What?  You mean the deal that my father made with Mr.
Tendo?  Yeah, I guess so.  I usually listen to father's wishes, unless of
course, they are really stupid."  Ranma watched Ukyo stumble a little from
shock, and he steadied her.  "Hey, what's wrong?  Was it something I said?"

    Ukyo shook her head, and left the room.  Ranma stood there, worried
about his childhood friend.

* * *

    Nodoka watched a sense of doom overtake Ukyo and Kodachi.  Both usually
were cheerful, but somehow today, they were acting quite different.  For
one thing, Ukyo and Kodachi were unusually silent as they did their work,
and they were absent-minded to a degree.  Kodachi was mopping the same
patch of the floor for a good hour and a half, and Ukyo didn't notice that
she had already washed the dishes.  Nodoka decided to approach the girls,
who had slowly become a part of her family.

    "Ukyo, Kodachi, is something on your minds?  It would be a major error
on my part to assume that you two are having a very happy day."  Ukyo and
Kodachi, who had been bottling up their emotions, let the accumulation out
on Nodoka.

    Ukyo blurted out.  "It isn't fair that Mr. Saotome and Mr. Tendo force
Ran-chan out on three dates."  Nodoka arched her eye slightly.  For one
thing, she had agreed with the dates as a legitimate way to get Ranma and
hopefully one of the Tendo daughters together.  But now, she suddenly
realized that there might be an impact on Kodachi and Ukyo.  She had grown
so close to both of them.

    Nodoka stared at both of them, and settled down into her chair.  Both
Kodachi and Ukyo settled down next to her.  "Don't you understand?  We both
love Ranma."  Kodachi looked at Nodoka, and tried to will her into
agreeing.  Surprisingly, it seemed to work.  Nodoka sighed, and shook her
head.  Looking out at the window at Genma and Ranma, both doing their
exercises as usual.  

    "I'll talk with Genma."

Um whatever.  I guess my capacity for writing has decreased over time.  So,
do not expect chapter 13 anytime soon.