Neko
by Mark Doherty (mdoherty@mailbox.uq.edu.au)

Chapter 1: Splish splash, not a good place to take a bath...
(Draft)

This is the first time I've tried to write a story in chapter format, so
let's see how it goes. This is a fic based on an idea sent to FFML a day or
so ago. It's been fleshed out though, of course.

Characters are the property of Takahashi Rumiko. I deserve to be drowned in
the spring of drowned ferret for even thinking of using them. Please
don't sue me, I am but a poor and penniless student.

Anyone who has read any of my previous alternifics should know that I never
change just one curse, so read on at your discretion...

C&C's are welcome, wanted and not wasted on me.

My conventions explained:

- The suffix -kun is used to denote a character's cursed male form. No suffix
  indicates that the person isn't in their cursed form. If someone turns
  up with a girl curse, they'll get the -chan suffix. Animal curses are
  denoted by the name of the animal as a suffix. After a couple of times,
  animal suffixes will probably usually be shortened to the first letter. For
  example, Henry-Mockingbird, or Henry-M after the first couple of times the
  name is used in a scene.

- <> Denotes Chinese.

- [] Denotes thoughts.

- ** Is animal speak when used without quotes, and is sound effects within
  quotes. For example: *Hello.* the duck quacked. And: "*sigh*" she sighed.

- {} Are Panda signs.

*********************

In a valley in an indeterminate part of an indeterminate country, there lay
an extensive series of small springs. Bamboo poles rose from each of the
springs in this valley, like the skeletal fingers of some dead great beast.
Sunlight dappled off the water of the springs, giving a pleasant view from
any of the cliffs that surrounded this wonder of nature. It was truly
beautiful.

Which made the expression of the man who stood in the middle of the springs
all the more puzzling. He was a middle-aged, heavyset man who was dressed in
the traditional uniform of a Chinese Dangerous Magical Sites Ranger. He
looked almost poleaxed, his face was showing a disturbing mix of shock and
misery.

The man was standing in front of one of the springs. The spring's water was
bubbling, perhaps evidence that something had been thrown into it recently.

"Aiya." the man, let us call him the Guide, breathed. <What did I do to
deserve this? After months with no visitors, five people fall into the
springs. Five people! This is really turning into a miserable day...>

>From nearby, there was a scream, and then a splash. The Guide sighed before
he put his head into his hands. He looked like he was about to cry.

<Six people...> he choked.

On top of one of the cliffs surrounding the springs, a small brown furred
animal looked over the edge. It nodded, before it turned to its hundred or
so companions.

*Right.* the small creature squeaked. *Now I know that normally we lemmings
don't travel this far, but look at that view! It was worth the extra effort
to come this far!*

Several of the lemmings edged up to the cliffside and looked out at the
magnificent view. They nodded and squeaked in agreement.

*Well then.* the lemming leader squeaked. *Let's go!*

The lead lemming was the first to leap off the cliff. Soon he was followed
by the others. Several lemming squeaks of things like *Banzai!!!*, *I embrace
thee Death!!!* and *Why are we doing this anyway?* followed the lemmings as
they leapt to their destiny.

Back at the springs below, the Guide slowly took his head out of his hands
as he heard several dozen small splashes. He looked at a set of springs that
rested near one of the surrounding cliffs. The springs were all bubbling
like a Jacuzzi in overdrive.

<And this job sounded so easy when I started it, so long ago...> the Guide
sighed to himself.

*********************

Some time later, at the docks of a Chinese city, two figures huddled behind
some crates.

"Did we lose her?" the first figure whispered.

"I think so." the second person answered, their voice too low to make out
their gender.

"Come on." the first person said. "We have to make a run for the ship. It
took the last of our money to pay for passage back to Japan, and if we miss
our ride we'll be in deep trouble..."

The second person clenched their fist. "All this way to find... him. And now
we're running away."

The first person put their hand on the second person's shoulder. "You heard
what the Guide told us before he sent us off." the first person said. "He
said that the Saotome's had said that they were going back to Japan. We're
not running away, we're just getting back so we're ready to meet them."

The second person was about to answer when they heard muted explosions.
"Her." the second person said flatly. "Come on, let's get out of here."

The two people rose from the shadows, to reveal that they were in fact two
young men. The first man was the shorter of the two. He had long hair that
was a strange bluish brown colour. His hair was tied back with a dark grey
ribbon. He was wearing black pants and shoes, and a plain yellow shirt. The
clothes looked like they were a bit too tight for him. He was carrying a
fair sized backpack.

The second man also had long hair tied back in a ponytail, although his hair
was red in colour, and it was tied with a white ribbon. He was wearing a pair
of incredibly tight black leggings, and a slightly tattered blue shirt. Over
the shirt was draped a bandolier full of what looked to be small spatulas.
Across his back he wore a backpack and what appeared to be a five or six foot
long spatula.

It was a puzzle to anyone why they'd be hiding behind crates in order to
avoid attention. They certainly wouldn't have stuck out in a normal crowd.
Well, it all depended on what you classified as normal.

"Which ship is it?" the first boy asked as he looked around to make sure
no-one was near.

The second boy pointed to one of the ships. "That one." he said. "Come on
Akane, let's go."

"Right." Akane-kun said as the two boys raced to reach their way off the
mainland.

Nearby, two steely grey eyes looked at the two boys as they raced off. The
owner of the eyes meowed quizzically at the actions of the two humans before
it was picked up from behind by a set of large furry black paws.

A large panda looked down at the struggling black cat that it was holding in
it's hands. A brief look of... something crossed over the panda's face.
Sorrow? Regret? Hunger? It was hard to tell.

The panda kept a tight grip on the struggling cat(who was doing a fine job
of turning the panda's arms into a scratching post) as it raced towards the
same ship that the two boys had just boarded.

*********************

Rainclouds rumbled in Nerima, which was much the same as saying chainsaws
buzzed in the Amazon: it was a part of everyday life. Two people, dressed the
same as the two boys from before were walking down a street.

"Three months, Ukyou." the first person, a girl with bluish black hair said.
She was dressed the same as the boy who had been called Akane, although her
clothes were nowhere near as tight. "Three months of my life wasted just
because I wanted to stop that silly engagement thing of Daddy's."

[Try ten years.] the second person, apparently a man, thought. He had long
brown hair, and was dressed in the same okonomiyaki chef's clothes of blue
shirt and black leggings as the second boy in China. The clothes of this
person actually fit, however. "Don't worry about it Akane." he said as they
walked along. "If he's en... eng... engaged..." Ukyou seemed to have some
difficulty saying this word, "... to you, then he'll have to come to you
sooner or later. Then I'll be able to get him for what he did to me..."

Akane looked at Ukyou in curiosity. "You know, you've never fully explained
what it was that this Ranma guy did to you." she said. "All you ever say is
that 'he left you behind'. Why does that make you so angry?"

Ukyou looked uncomfortable for a moment. "It's... not something I like to
talk about..." he admitted. "It's something between him and me."

Akane sighed. "Alright. If you don't want to tell me, I understand." She
looked around, before she spotted what she was looking for. "Hey, look! We're
here!" she said as she pointed excitedly.

Ukyou looked where Akane was pointing. It was the entrance to what, from the
signs adorning the outer wall, appeared to be a combined dojo and residence.
The Tendo Dojo, from what the signs said. "It looks very nice." he said,
before he looked up at the threatening sky. "Maybe we should get inside.
That's starting to look certain of rain..."

Akane looked up at the sky, blanching slightly at the rumbling clouds.
"You're right." she said. "But I don't know what you're worried about..."
she continued as they walked into the Tendo compound. "At least you stay male
in either of your forms."

Ukyou cleared his throat. For some reason he looked uncomfortable...

*********************

Rain fell from the sky. Normally that was a pretty obvious thing, but in a
place like Nerima, where strange things were known to happen, it was best to
elaborate.

A young man rushed along the wet streets. He was carrying a large umbrella,
and was doing an incredible job of running while not stepping in any puddles.
In fact, it seemed like he was doing his best not to make any water at all
splash up on him. It probably didn't help him that he was currently being
chased by a large panda.

The young man had black hair that was tied back in a thin pigtail. He was
wearing Chinese clothes: red shirt, black pants and black shoes. "How can you
do this to me now Pop?" the boy shouted over his shoulder. "Damn it, I
want... no. I _need_ to get back to China. I HAVE to get a cure. I don't have
time for your games!"

The panda held up a sign which read {This is no game son. Do as your father
says.} as it ran after the boy.

"Do as you say!?" the boy shouted incredulously, lowering his umbrella to his
side in shock at the thought. "After what..." he started before he realised
that he was no longer protected from the rain. "No." he whispered, before the
water of the rain started to soak him.

He started to shrink as the water washed away his humanity. Seconds later,
there was only a small lump in the middle of his clothes, which now lay on
the wet ground. There was a small meow from the lump in the clothes, before
a small black cat wriggled it's way out of the clothes.

{Here kitty kitty.} the panda signed as it made 'come hither' motions with
one of it's paws.

The cat looked up at the panda before it hissed. It's fur started to rise,
and it's tail began to swish.

The panda flipped the sign, revealing the other side which read {Uh... nice
kitty?}

The cat howled, before it launched itself at the panda. A crowd of onlookers
gathered to watch the spectacle of a small house cat attack a gigantic panda.
It was especially interesting since the cat appeared to be winning...

"Well, there's something you don't see everyday." one of the onlookers
muttered to his companion.

"No, it's something I wished I saw everyday." his companion answered.

"What do you mean?" the first person asked as the panda finally managed to
knock the cat unconscious.

"I work in Tomobiki." the second person said. "That..." he pointed to the
panda, who was racing off with the cat and the boy's clothes in it's paws,
"...is more normal than what I have to put up with everyday."

*********************

At the docks of a Japanese town, two young men stepped off of a small yacht
onto the solid ground of Japan. The first man had a proud air to him. He had
styled blackish brown hair, and he was wearing the clothes of a kendo
practitioner.

The second man looked a lot scruffier than the first. He had black hair that
was kept off his eyes by a yellow and black bandanna. He wore black pants
and a scrappy thatched yellow shirt. His pants were not only kept up with a
belt, but were also tied at the shins. He was carrying a massive backpack,
on top of which rested a red bamboo umbrella.

"Back at last on my native soil." the first man said as he looked about him
with an haughty expression. "Truly, this great land must have missed it's
greatest..."

"Shut up!" the second man growled. "Would you just shut up Kunou? I've been
putting up with your speeches since Jusenkyo and I am sick of it!"

Kunou looked at his companion, raising his eyebrows as he did so. "You do not
find my wisdom to your liking? Truly, I knew you were a peasant Ryouga, but
even you should learn to appreciate your betters."

Ryouga threw his hands up in the air. "That does it." he growled. "I thought
that maybe travelling with you would help, since you have the same enemy. But
I've had it. Goodbye Kunou."

Kunou stood silently as Ryouga walked off. After Ryouga had disappeared into
the distance, Kunou muttered "Why did he go that way? That is not the way to
my beloved's house. That way only the ocean lies..."

Kunou shrugged. There was the distant rumble of thunder from the rainstorm
over Nerima, which caused Kunou to do a very strange thing. He blanched,
almost as if he feared the rain.

"Mayhap that Ryouga fellow had one bright thought in his otherwise dull
life." Kunou said to himself. "Perhaps an umbrella would be a good idea after
all. It is past time I purchased one."

Kunou rushed off to the dockside stores, doing his best to look dignified as
he walked as quickly as he could to get an umbrella.

*********************

Akane and Ukyou were at the entrance to the Tendo house. Akane seemed to be
steeling herself. The rain hadn't reached this far, perhaps that was lucky
considering Akane's expression before.

"Well, here goes." she said as she knocked on the door.

A few seconds later, the door was opened by a woman with long brown hair
who appeared to be in her late teens or early twenties. "Akane?" she asked.

Akane nodded. "Hello oneechan." she managed before she was hugged by the
older girl. Ukyou smiled at this display of affection. In his family,
affection was shown by a brief nod or a slight smile. It was almost
embarrassing to see such affection.

"Next time you go away, you should write more." the older girl said as she
disengaged from the hug.  She noticed Ukyou, and said "Oh! I'm being rude!
Hello there, I'm Kasumi. Akane's sister."

"Kasumi, this is Ukyou." Akane said to her sister, since Ukyou looked a
little distant.

Ukyou shook himself out of his thoughts of his own family. "Hello." he said
politely. "Akane's told me a lot about you all."

Kasumi smiled. "We shouldn't stand out here, Father will be ecstatic to see
you're back."

Akane sighed as Kasumi led her and Ukyou inside. [I hope he doesn't embarrass
me in front of Ukyou.] she thought to herself.

*********************

"Akane!" the middle-aged man currently hugging Akane to death cried. "My
baby's returned!"

Kasumi, Ukyou, and another girl who had shortish blackish-brown hair stood
nearby. The last girl had been introduced to Ukyou as Nabiki, the middle
Tendo sister.

Akane was blushing a furious red. "Daaad. We've got a guest..." she said.

The middle-aged man looked over at a nervous Ukyou. He raised his eyebrow,
before he said. "So who is this?"

"I'm Kuonji Ukyou." Ukyou supplied, hoping in his heart that this man wasn't
going to hug him like he had his daughter.

"Tendo Soun." the man replied as he looked appraisingly at Ukyou. He turned
to Akane and said "You haven't forgotten our family agreement, have you?" he
asked flatly.

Akane blushed even redder, if that was possible. "It's not like that!" she
flared. "Ukyou's a good friend! And he know's about that stupid engagement
thing anyway."

"You told a stranger about a private family contract?" Soun asked, a
disapproving look in his eyes.

"Well I..." Akane began, looking a bit flustered.

Soun smiled. "No, no. It doesn't matter Akane, because Ranma is supposed to
be turning up today."

Akane clenched her teeth, and Ukyou started to look interested in the
conversation.

"He is?" Akane asked. She had really hoped that she could talk to this Ranma
guy before her father met him. If he was turning up today then it was
probably too late to try and talk about the agreement between the Saotomes
and the Tendos.

"He is?" Ukyou asked quietly. He had his own reasons to want to... talk to
Ranma. And this engagement thing that Akane's father had forced upon her was
part of what he wanted to talk about.

Soun nodded happily, somehow ignoring the less than thrilled response from
his youngest daughter. "His father sent me a postcard." His expression turned
more serious as he continued "And he said nothing about seeing you. I can't
believe you ran off to China! You could have been hurt, killed! Or worse! I
think grounding you for life might teach you self-control."

"Now, now father." Kasumi said. "I'm sure Akane just went over to China so
that she could meet her fiance. She was just eager, that's all."

Nabiki smirked. "Eager to rip his head off, from the way she reacted three
months ago." she whispered to herself.

Soun relented under his eldest daughter's speech. "Well, if she just wanted
to meet her fiance, she should have had the patience to wait here. I..."

There was a clattering from outside, followed by a couple of yowls.

There was a twinkling in Soun's eyes. "Perhaps that's Ranma now!" he said
excitedly. He rushed outside. After all, he'd waited so long to have this
engagement between his family and the Saotome's formalised...

Ukyou's eyes blazed as he fingered some of the small spatulas in his
bandolier. "Ten years..." he whispered. "Time to pay Saotome." he swore as
he followed Soun outside.

Kasumi and Nabiki walked outside. As they did, Nabiki quietly said "I guess
it's time to see if offing this Ranma guy on Akane was a good idea, hey
Kasumi?" Kasumi gave some sort of seemingly clueless reply.

Akane clenched and unclenched her fists. She hadn't moved towards the exit
yet. It was all happening too fast... she hadn't even told her father about
the... problem she had picked up in China. And now Ranma was here. A fiance
she definitely didn't want. She just wasn't ready for this.

"Are these friends of yours?" Kasumi's voice drifted from outside.

"Um... no?" Akane heard her father say.

"Hey, let that poor cat go!" Ukyou shouted out, before the sounds of him
using his giant spatula on someone drifted inside.

Akane raised an eyebrow. What was happening out there? If it was Ranma, what
was he doing with a cat? She gathered her courage, and walked out to stand
next to her sisters.

Outside, there was an unconscious panda. Ukyou's battle spatula was moulded
to the panda's face, and Ukyou was currently holding a small black cat in his
arms. The cat looked a little woozy, almost as if someone had knocked it over
the head or something.

"Aren't you cute?" Ukyou asked the dazed cat as he stroked it's fur.

"Daddy, who do these animals belong to?" Akane asked.

Soun looked flustered for a moment. "I... I don't know." he admitted. "Wait!
Perhaps they're Genma's. After all, that is a panda, and they were just in
China. That must mean that he's nearby."

The panda groaned as it woke up from the impromptu nap Ukyou had given him.
{Closer than you think.} it said with a sign as it rubbed the back of its
head.

***************************************************************************
***************************************************************************

Well, that's the end of Chapter 1. Please tell me what you think. I don't
know how long it will take to write the next chapter.

Everything will be explained sooner or later, such as why Akane is already
the 'chosen fiance' for Ranma, and all that. I can't explain away everything
in the first chapter, after all.

Till next time.

"Mad Scientist: Igor, I have a hunch...
 Igor: That makes two of us."

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Mark Doherty  -  mdoherty@mailbox.uq.edu.au

"Kawaii must die."

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