[Ranma] "No Need for Ranma!" (3/?)

By Henry J. Cobb

$Id: no_need_for_ranma3.txt,v 1.5 1997/02/15 23:17:29 hcobb Exp $



The Ranma 1/2 characters and situations are the creation of Rumiko

Takahashi.  No infringement of her copyrights is intended.



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So Far:



Five year old Ran-chan jumped from the cart to back for Ucchan.



Ukyou pledged to take Ranma's place, after he was lost at the age of ten

in a training incident involving a cat.



Ukyou now 16, is a boy (thanks to the Nanniichuan) and has chosen Akane

(from the Tendo daughters) to be his fiancee.  (Without even really

asking her.)



Ukyou uses the "Anything goes" style with some pressure-point based

holding pins, but otherwise looks just like her old cross-dressing self.

(Except when he's in the Chinese outfits.)  Even to the point of using a

ponytail rather than a pigtail. (Apparently he hasn't tasted the

Dragon's whisker.)



The story is told from Akane's point of view and she currently is

unaware of the switch or that the cursed springs exist.



Ryouga showed up and was shocked to find "Ranma" engaged to a girl.



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Ryouga continued to glare at Akane as they followed Ranma from the

school.



Suddenly Ranma stopped.  "This is your house Ryouga, if I remember

correctly."



"Yes!  This is great.  I haven't been here in months.  Come in you two,

I'll get you something."



Ryouga gestured for them to sit on the couch then went into the kitchen.



"Akane, you must understand."  Ranma whispered to her.  "Ryouga's a very

sweet boy, a real puppy dog, but he gets violent when upset.  He's got

this problem.  He suffers from delusions.  That's why he's always

getting lost, he retreats into his own fantasy world and looses track of

where he is in the real one.  One of his delusions is that he thinks

that I'm a girl and he's in love with me."



"Really?"



"Yes, so we'd best just play along for a while."



Ryouga returned with a bowl of packaged bread products.  "Now what's

this about Akane being your fiancee?"



"Well, you know my problem."  Ranma began.  "My father thinks that I'm a

boy.  That's why he sent me to that boy's school we were in."



Akane reached for a bread package, but Ranma gestured to the sell-by

date on the label, several months ago.



"And now he's talked Akane's father into engaging us.  Neither of those

two old men is very stable if you know what I mean.  And so, we've been

waiting for them to come to their senses."



"Yes,"  Akane said.  "So, you see we really don't have any choice in the

matter."



"What a tragedy!"  Ryouga said.  "I will free you from this perverse

engagement!"



"Well, we can't very well walk up to our fathers and tell them they're

crazy, can we?  It's very sweet of you to offer, but I think we'll just

have to see this through ourselves."



"OK Ranma, we'll play it your way.  Just tell me, why did you run out on

our date?"



"I wouldn't call it running out.  I waited three days at my house for

you."



"Yes, but when I got there on the fourth day you were gone."



"I had a training trip with pop.  I told you about that."



"Yes, but you didn't tell me were."



"I was going to tell you all about it, when you showed up.  Maybe, even

take you along.  After three days, I figured you'd lost interest."



They talk just like they were a couple.  Akane wondered.  Just how

perverted is Ranma?



"I wasn't out for a joy walk for three days."  Ryouga thought for a few

minutes then continued.  "I was thinking about you, about us, about what

we could be together.  When I looked up I was totally lost.  I rushed

back to you as fast as I could, cursing myself with every step."



"I'm sure you did all you could, Ryouga."



"It doesn't matter who's at fault.  The important thing is that we've

found each other at last.  We've got all the time in the world."



"Speaking of time, what have you been doing these past few

months?"



"Just looking for you Ranma."



"You've been skipping school?  What happened to your dreams of being an

architect?"



"You're all I dream about now."  Ryouga reached for Ranma's hand, but it

was withdrawn.



"You dream that I'd marry a dropout, a bum?  You don't think much of

me."



"I'm sorry Ranma, please don't say that."  Tears began to form in the

lost boy's eyes.



"Promise me, you'll really try to make it in school?"



"Yes Ranma."



"OK, Furinkan High is eight blocks straight down the street from your

house and there's a city bus that goes straight from here to there, but

just to make sure, Akane and I will come by each morning to pick you

up.  If that's OK with you Akane?"



"Sure, no problem Ranma."



As Akane and Ranma walked back to her house, she asked him.  "Why are

you going to all this trouble, for Ryouga?"



"He's a old friend of mine and even if he's a bit delusional, he's got a

very good heart.  I'd hate to see it go to waste."



Saturday afternoon, Akane came with Ranma to Ryouga's house again.



After Ranma rang the doorbell, they heard Ryouga's voice from somewhere

inside the house.  "I'm coming."



Several minutes later Ryouga's voice sounded again.  "Uh, could you tell

me which way the front door is?"



"Just follow the sound of my voice."  Ranma replied.



"Oh, there you are." Ryouga opened the door.  "What brings you by

today?  Is it, uh, Monday already?"



"No, it's Saturday."  Ranma answered  "We have martial arts practice.  I

thought you might like to come over."



"Thanks, that's great.  Just let me get my gi.  Uh, do you remember

which way my room is?"



"Follow me Ryouga.  Did you sleep in the hall again?"



"Yeah, I'd forgotten how lonely this place is, with nobody around."



Akane waited, until the two boys returned.



"Don't worry Ryouga, I'll let you borrow one of my gis.  How can you

ever find anything in that mess?"



At the Dojo, Ranma and Ryouga faced off.  "Just watch this Akane.

Ryouga's one of the best martial artists I know."



The two boys spared for several minutes, then Ryouga seemed to loose

focus as he stared into Ranma's face.  He never saw the foot sweep that

took him down.



"Pay attention!"  Ranma helped Ryouga back to his feet.  "Akane, perhaps

you'd best take this match."



"OK."  I'll show Ranma, Akane thought, I've been practicing too.  Ryouga

looks tough, but if he's that easily distracted, I can take him.



Akane and Ryouga traded a few combinations, then Ryouga seemed to show a

little anger at Akane, he kicked her side.



Akane stepped back and Ryouga clipped the side of her face with a punch.

She fell to the floor and he raised a foot to stomp her.



Ranma dashed in and threw Ryouga aside, then pinned him.  "Are you

feeling OK Ryouga?"



"Yes, sorry Ranma."



"Are you OK Akane?"



"Nothing I can't handle."



"OK, let's spend the rest of the afternoon in yoga practice."  Ranma sat

down.  "Self control is always the first weapon."



Monday morning, Akane and Ranma set out early and found Ryouga a few

blocks from his house, walking away from the school.



"Ryouga!"  Ranma yelled to get his attention.



"Oh, hi Ranma."



"Where were you going?"



"To school, like I promised."



"It's this way.  I said I'd be by to pick you up.  Next time wait."



"I'm sorry Ranma."



In class, Ryouga got the seat next to Ranma on the other side from

Akane.



Ryouga sat with a dreamy expression on his face, occasionally looking at

Ranma.  When the teacher asked Ryouga a question, he totally blew it and

was asked to stand out in the hall.



Ranma grimaced in frustration, then turned his attention back to the

classwork.



After class there was no trace of Ryouga.



"What happened to Ryouga?"  Akane asked Ranma.



"Isn't it obvious?  He got sent to stand out in the hall, and got lost

on the way."



That evening, at the Tendo residence, Akane heard a feminine "EEEEEK!",

a loud thump then a few moments later Ranma calling.  "Akane, I need

your help!"  She rushed to the bathroom and saw Ranma with a towel

around his waist standing over an unconscious Ryouga.  A thin trickle of

blood came from Ryouga's nose.



"What happened?"  Akane asked, "Did Ryouga attack you?"



"Nothing like that.  He wandered in here, saw me in the tub, and was so

shocked to see me naked as a boy that he fainted and hit his nose on the

way down.  Here, give me a hand with him."



Ranma and Akane lifted Ryouga and placed him on the couch.



"Don't worry", Ranma said, "He'll remember it differently when he wakes

up.  Probably something about his modestly fainting when he saw a naked

girl."



"There's something that's been bothering me",  Akane pointed at Ranma's

bare chest, "Why isn't he worried that you don't have, er breasts?"



"Oh, he thinks that I do have breasts and just keep them tightly bound.

To keep pop happy."



"Well, you'd best get dressed before he wakes up."



"Good idea."



Ranma came back downstairs, in the red Chinese martial arts outfit.



Ryouga slowly came to. "Hi Ranma.  Sorry about that.  You're back in

disguise again, I see."



"Yes Ryouga, it's best this way."



"Ryouga, what happened to you in class today?  Everybody was so worried

when you disappeared."



"Sorry about that Akane.  I was thinking about Ranma when I went out

into the hall.  And then, when I finally looked up, I saw Ranma naked in

the tub."



"Ryouga, could you do me a favor?"



"Anything Ranma."



"From now on, every time you come to a door, before you open it, could

you check to see if it has an occupied sign on it?"



"I'm sorry Ranma.  I just wasn't thinking."



"You've got to break that habit."



The rest of the week was just as bad.  Ryouga disappeared Wednesday

after class and didn't show up all day Thursday or Friday.



Friday evening, Akane and Ranma sat on the porch of the Dojo, after

their workout.



"You're worried about Ryouga, aren't you?"  Akane asked Ranma.



"Yeah, but what can I do?  I can't keep him from throwing his life away

like this."



"Myew?"  A white cat with purple trim wearing barrettes had jumped into

Ranma's lap.



"A cat?"  Ranma looked more troubled than surprised.



"Do you have a problem with cats?"  Akane asked.



"It's just that I lost a very good friend to a cat once."



"Come here kitty",  Akane picked up the cat, "don't scare Ranma so."



"Myew?"  The cat asked Akane.



"Oh, you're just lost",  Akane scratched the cat behind the ears, then

gently petted it.  Soon the cat was stretched out purring on Akane's lap

as she stroked its belly.



"You two seem to be getting along well", Ranma said.



"I've always liked cats, I've just never had the time to have one of my

own."



"That cat belongs to somebody you know.  Wild cats don't run around with

barrettes on."



"I know, but I guess I have to keep her until somebody shows up to claim

her.  What'll I call you until then, how about Shinobi?"



"Isn't that more like a girl's name?"



"Yes, but cats don't normally wear barrettes either."



	Henry J. Cobb	hcobb@slip.net          http://www.io.com/~hcobb

    I expect just as many people to catch the Shinobi reference as have

    spotted where the Viz I grabbed the title for this series.