I thought it was great!  I think I much prefer this one as it is,
instead of turning it into another lemon.  Heck...I thought it was
a beuatiful story.  You should do more like it.

The only problem in the entire thing is that I don't think the Masaki
residence is anywhere near Nerima.  If I remember right, it takes place
in the Okayama Prefecture.  But hey, we all take liberties in our
stories, ne?
-- 
 Magic Knight Kyone
--
"Do not meddle in the affairs of wizards, for they are subtle and
 quick to anger." --J.R.R. Tolkien                                
"Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, for you are crunchy and
 good with ketchup." --Anonymous