[scene:  Windir, Frito, and Lyra returning from the arrest at the
end of the fic.]

Frito:  So now what?
Windir:  We go back to reviewing the odd story.  You saw the end; 
   there wasn't a "to be continued".  It's over.
Lyra:  I can't believe that.  You saw the look that Yuri gave me.
   He can't just end it like this.  He's got to have something up
   his sleeve.
Windir:  <shrugging> Perhaps.  But the fact remains that until we
   find out what he has in mind, there's nothing we can do.
Frito:  Back to the grind.  Sheesh.  Just when things were gettin'
   fun.

<At that moment, a huge explosion blasts open a nearby wall.  Frito
is plucked from the air and held up against the end of a VERY BIG 
GUN(tm).  The other end is attached to a tall, thin man in his mid
20's, with a black leather fedora and a slightly crazed expression.>

Sean (for it is he):  Do as I say, or the halfling'll be a 
   quarterling.

<Lyra begins to circle round, trying to find the best place to 
counterattack.>

Sean:  I wouldn't do that.  I had Fred Herriot implant the *saikoo
   jinseijitsu* in my head before I came here.

<Lyra and Frito pale; Windir looks blank>

Windir:  The what?
Sean:  Skip it.  Look, I don't care what Butler or anyone else 
   thinks, you are going to continue this investigation and find
   out who framed the Pair.  I'm not having my fanfic ruined just
   because Travis can't be bothered to add a Part I.

<Lyra and Frito boggle at Sean>

Lyra:  You're *writing* a Dirty Pair fanfic?  For real?
Frito:  We thought youze was extinct.
Sean:  Not true.  Bryan's still turning 'em out, and the UF team
   are working on the next part of the saga.  Sure, Ryan's doing
   songfics, but he'll be back.
Windir:  Why are you coming to us?  Why not e-mail him directly?
   We are, after all, only characters in his story.
Sean:  Yeah, yeah, no free will, blah blah.  This story was 
   designed especially to pacify me, so I wouldn't figure out what
   he was doing.  Kaede, Miyuki and Natsumi, Akiko...all some of 
   my favorite characters.  He thought that by making all those
   great cameos and cool running gags that I'd miss the big 
   picture. (Looks up at the sky) WELL, IT WON'T WORK, BUTLER!
   DO YOU HEAR ME?!!
Frito:  Look, not to change the subject or anything, but is there
   anythin' you want us to do, or do you just enjoy torturin' me?
Sean:  Well, yes, but that's beside the point.  I need the Dirty
   Pair for my fanfic.  Sure, they don't come in until 2/3 of the 
   way  through, but they're necessary.  I need the three of you
   to find out who did this.  There's lots of suspects.  Hell,
   Blade's arguing right now about how Ranma's a jerk, check him
   out.
Lyra:  You didn't need the gun.  I wasn't planning to leave it 
   like this anyway.  Don't worry, we'll get to the bottom of this.
Sean:  (grins, drops Frito)  Thanks!  Sorry to be such a bastard,
   but you know how it is with the creative urge - don't say it,
   Frito.
Frito:  Awww...
Windir:  Can we go now?
Sean:  (turns to Windir) You remind me of a young John Sessions.
   (back to the group)  Thanks again.  Keep me posted, and tell 
   the Pair to suit up again, it won't be long.

[Sean fails to notice Windir, enraged, behind him.  Lyra and Frito
do, but are too late to stop him.]

Windir:  Compare me to that egotist, would you?  BOOT TO THE HEAD!
Lyra & Frito:  NOOOOO!!!

[Sean is given a kick to the head (as you might expect from the
previous).  Unfortunately, rather than collapse in a heap, he 
leaps up in the air, his clothing transforming into a skintight
jumpsuit and a tiger-stripe design imprinted on his face.  He
coldly looks down at Windir.]

Windir:  (sweating) Did I err?


--to be continued when Travis wraps this all up.

--Sean Gaffney
--who loved it, btw