(Scene:  Scott's apartment.  (What?  Again!?)  Scott is talking 
to three powerfully-built men.  Two are somewhat shorter than him and 
have really messy hair.  The third is tall, green-skinned, and sports a 
turban.  Scott points to a piece of paper held by one of the shorter men.)

Scott:  No, you want Nora J*e*mison, see?

Goku:  Um, I don't read so good.

Vejita:  Cacarott, you idiot!

Scott:  So what are you guys planning to do to her once you find her? 

Goku:  Oh, not much.  Vegita here is gonna teach her martial arts. 

Vejita:  I'll treat her just like my own flesh and blood.  (evil smirk)

Scott (very small voice):  oh.

Piccolo:  ...
	(You didn't think he'd embarrass himself by actually having lines 
in something this silly, did you?)

	(The Dragonball warriors exit.  There's a flash of light from the 
kitchen.) 

Akane (off): Gotta pick up Nabiki!  Be back soon!

Little-girl voice (off):  Wait!  You can't just leave me here like this! 

	(There's another flash of light.)

	(A cute redheaded girl emerges from the kitchen.  She has a long 
ponytail and looks to be about five.  She's wearing an adorable pick 
dress with lace kittens on it, and looks peeved.)

Ranma-chan:  Scott!  This is all your fault!

	(She kicks Scott in the shin.)

Scott:  Ow!  Hey, what happened?

Ranma-chan:  We just got back from "No Fair!" and Akane din't bother to 
turn me back!  And in this stupid form, I can't reach the hot water! 

Scott:  Whoops.  Okay, but let's find some of your normal clothes before 
making you "man-size" again.

Ranma-chan:  Oh yeah.  Forgot.

	(They go back into the kitchen.  A few minutes later they emerge, 
Ranma back to normal size, gender and outfit.)

Ranma:  ,,,So how about making "Triumph" so that's the reality, and the 
normal situation is the one I wake up from?

Scott:  So you *do* want to consummate your relationship with Akane? 

Ranma:  Yes!  I mean no!  I mean...I hate when you do that.  How about 
finishing up Worse? 

Scott:  Oh, we're a long way from the end on that, but another chapter is 
due.  Why don't you fill in the new readers?

Ranma:  Okay.  Due to a careless wish, I'm stuck in a world where I was 
born a girl.  I'm engaged to boys, including Mousse and Ryouga; but for 
some unaccountable reason I'm starting to lust after Akane.

Scott:  Could be that with the pressure off, you're seeing her good 
points? 

Ranma:  Yeah, right.  I have a little brother named Hikaru, who has the 
same curse as I do in the real world, except his cursed form looks like a 
CLAMP character.  Last chapter was a bit of a disaster, really.  How come 
I lost to Mousse?!

Scott:  Blade wrote the combat sequence.

Ranma:  You could have changed that part.  Anyhow, on with the story... 


				WORSE
			by Scott K. Jamison
			(Takahashi disclaimer)
       Chapter Eight:  In Which the Story Lives Up to its Title

	Ranma was feeling a bit depressed, so she walked silently along 
the fence as Hikaru shadowboxed.  The afternoon had not gone well at 
all.  She'd been defeated by Mousse, resolved nothing with Ryouga and 
discovered that her little brother was a colossal jerk.
	Was I ever that arrogant?  Ranma thought about it for a moment.  
Yes, he had been.  He'd been just as big a jerk as Hikaru time and 
again.  It was like looking in a mirror at his past.  And Ranma wasn't 
liking it at all.
	She remembered how she'd gotten into this mess, the wish not to 
be engaged to any girls.  Taking the easy way out hadn't worked.  Instead 
she just had a whole new set of fiance problems.
	Ranma had never really tried too hard to get rid of his fiancees 
in the real world.  As long as there were several with at least 
semi-legitimate claims, he could play them against each other and stave 
off marriage a little longer.  Besides, it stoked his ego that many women 
found him desirable.
	But this was different.  No way was she marrying *any* man if she 
could help it.  But how to dispose of them?
	Shampoo would probably keep Mousse busy for a while, and might 
even catch him.  Ranma's ultimatum to Ryouga over Hikaru put that 
relationship on hold for the moment.  If all else failed, maybe she could 
get him together with Akane.
	*No!  Akane's mine!* said a part of her mind.  Ranma reminded 
herself that this body had never been engaged to the Tendou girl.  
Besides, she wasn't a pet, to be owned or given away. 
	If Tsubasa was like the real world version, neither gentle 
persuasion nor violence would deter him.  She'd have to strike a 
particularly cruel emotional blow to him, or physically repulse the 
crossdresser.  Only problem with the latter was that she didn't turn into 
a boy any more.  Then again...she looked at Hikaru.  File that idea for 
later...
	Which left Kunou.  Darn Pops and his stupid promises anyways!  
Unfortunately, the fact that both she and Akane despised the swordsman 
was not sufficient reason for the engagement to be broken.  Honor 
required that one of them had to marry him unless the ones who originally 
made the agreement, their fathers, were willing to cancel it.  Fat chance 
of that. 
	When they arrived back at the apartment, supper was already 
ready, but Nodoka and Genma were not at the table.  Instead, they were in 
the entryway, waiting for their children. 
	"Hiya, Mom, Pops!  I'm back!" said Hikaru.
	"And about time," said Nodoka chilly.
	Genma looked his children over.  "With those matching outfits, 
you really can see the similarity."  There was a elbow in his ribs.  
"Kids, your mother has something to say." 
	"A little while ago, I got a call from Mrs. Imura.  Do you know 
what she told me?"
	"Um, there was some trouble at the dojo..."
	"She told me my daughter was brawling in the street like a common 
thug.  Explain."
	"You remember I told you about Mousse?  Well, he tried to kidnap 
me and grabbed Akane instead.  So naturally I had to rescue her."
	"Ranma dear, wasn't Hikaru there?"
	"Well, yes, but--"
	"You should have let him handle the rescue.  Protecting women is 
a man's responsibility."
	"Mom, Mousse is way too dangerous for Hikaru--" 
	"I wasn't the one out cold, Sis.  I coulda took Mousse if that 
Hibiki guy hadn't been in the way."  Ranma felt a cold chill. 
	"Hibiki?  Ryouga Hibiki?" said Nodoka.
	"Yeah, Ranma's boyfriend.  He was at the dojo too, and--"
	"Ranma!  Did I or did I not instruct you never to see that boy 
again?" 
	"Uhm..."
	"You went against my expressed wishes!  You're still involved 
with that *pig*!"
	Genma was staring at his wife in surprise.  Apparently, she 
hadn't mentioned Ryouga to him. 
	"It's obvious you need some discipline, young lady.  You're 
grounded.  For a week."
	"But Mom--"
	"Do you want me to make it two weeks?"
	"No Mom."
	"And that's another thing.  Your language has gotten unforgivably 
sloppy.  From now on, you *will* use respectful language to your father 
and myself.  Do you understand?"
	"Yes...Mother.  I understand."
	"Good.  As a final reminder, you are sent to your room without 
supper." 
	"Isn't that a bit harsh, dear?"
	"We agreed, husband, that you would not undercut my discipline."  
She stared Genma down.
	Ranma went to her room, miserable.  Now Mom was mad at her, and 
for all the wrong reasons. 
	Several hours later, Ranma tried to ignore her growling stomach 
and concentrate on the Women's Studies report.
	"Oh, who am I kidding?" she asked herself.  Why did I spend so 
much time on this junk anyways?  It's not as though it really matters.  I 
don't belong here, and I'm getting out as soon as I can, so what 
difference does it make what I do while I'm here?
	There was a knock on the door.  "Hey, Sis, can I come in?" 
	"Suit yourself."
	Hikaru entered quietly.  He had something in his hands. 
	"I saved you some rice."  He handed over a ball of the white 
grain. 
	"Thanks!  Hey, there's a bite out of this!"
	"I got hungry again.  So sue me.  But I didn't drink any of the 
water." 
	Ranma gulped down the food and took the glass.
	Hikaru stared at the floor and shuffled his feet.  Long seconds 
passed. 
	"Elder sister Ranma, I'm sorry.  I didn't mean to get you in 
trouble.  If I knew it was suposta be a secret, I woulda never said 
nothing." 
	Well.  It seemed Hikaru could apologize properly after all. 
	"You must really be in love with this Ryouga guy, if you're 
having secret rendezvous and such." 
	"I wouldn't say that, exactly."
	"Hey!  That pig, it had the same pattern bandana Ryouga wears!  
That means--"  Here it came, he'd figured it out! "--it musta been a 
present from him.  He probably didn't know about the 'no pets' rule, and 
obviously you couldn't tell Mom where it really came from.  And *that's* 
why Akane looked so surprised to see P-chan this morning!"
	Pretty good reasoning, actually.  But why hadn't he....  Ranma 
decided Hikaru was still refusing to take responsibility for pushing 
Ryouga off the cliff, and thus wasn't asking himself what was *below* the 
cliff.  
	Maybe Akane wasn't galactically stupid in the real world after 
all.  Maybe she didn't *want* to see.
	"So, just how far have you guys gone?"
	"Eh!?"
	"Just mushy stuff, or have you gone all the way?"  He seemed 
quite eager to know.  Ranma was stunned for a moment, then decided a 
feminine response would be okay.
	*slap* "Ecchi!  None of your business!"  Though Ranma herself 
would have liked to have known. 
	"Okay, okay.  But is that why Mom hates the guy?"  
	"I don't know."  Whoops.
	"You don't know?  She didn't tell you why you can't see Ryouga?" 
	"Not in so many words, no..."
	"That bites!  She must want you to marry that Kunou guy, huh.  
You sounded like you weren't too fond of him." 
	"Kunou is an idiot!  He just keeps coming back, no matter how 
many times I beat him.  And he won't understand, no matter how much 
evidence he sees, that I'm not--I'm..."
	"You're not...what?" asked Hikaru.
	"I'm, uh, not in love with him and don't want to marry him, 
ever.  Very annoying."  More annoying was not just being able to say "I'm 
not a girl."  But if anyone could understand that, it would be Hikaru.  
Perhaps she should...No, Ranma couldn't quite trust him yet.
	But she could get him mentally prepared.
	"C'mere, Hikaru, I want to show you something."  Ranma steered 
him in front of the full-length mirror attached to one wall. 
	"Okay, look and tell me what you see."
	"Me, of course.  Hm, t-shirt's got a stain." 
	"Are you a boy or a girl?"
	"A boy, of course!  Duh."
	"You're sure?"
	"What kinda question--"
	*splash*
	Ranma emptied her water glass over Hikaru.  Instantly his 
long-braided hair turned firey red, his features took on a feminine cast 
and small soft mounds pushed out his shirt.
	"Hey!  Whadja do that for!"
	Ranma turned him back to the mirror.  "What do you see?" 
	"Me.  The other me."  Hikaru obviously still wasn't used to 
seeing his female form.  His eyes kept sliding off the mirror, and he 
looked disgusted. 
	"Are you a boy or a girl?"
	"I'm a boy!"
	"But you don't look much a boy, do you?  Without those clothes, 
you wouldn't look like a boy at all.  If a doctor examined you, he 
wouldn't find any trace of boy there, just girl all the way in." 
	"I'm still a boy!  I just *look* like a girl!"
	So far, so good.  Ranma pressed on. 
	"Keep looking.  There's a magic bucket, the Chiisuiton, and water 
from it can lock you in your cursed form forever.  Not just for a few 
hours or days, but week after week, month after month.  What happens when 
you start getting your period, when those girl-body hormones start giving 
you mood swings?  Are you a boy or a girl?"
	"I'm a boy!  Uh, what's a period?"
	"Something that happens to girls.  Ask Mom."
	"Oh-kay.  But what's your point?" asked Hikaru.
	"Keep looking in the mirror.  Imagine you're stuck in that girl 
body, and Mom and Pops and me all forget you were ever a boy.  All your 
records say you've always been a girl.  All the photographs have changed 
to match.  We force you to talk and dress and act like a girl, because 
that's how we all think of you, and you're the only one who remembers any 
different!  Are you a boy or a girl?!?"
	"Y-you're hurting me, Ranma."  She looked down and saw that her 
fingers were digging into Hikaru's shoulder in a death grip.  She forced 
her hands to relax.
	"Sorry."
	"I'm a boy!  No matter what I look like, no matter what anybody 
else thinks, as long as I remember the truth, I'm still me.  Right?"
	Ranma smiled in a manner she hoped was reassuring.  "That's 
right, Hikaru.  Outward appearances don't really matter.  It's what's in 
you heart that counts, who you *know* that you are inside.  Remember 
that.  You're going to need it later.  And it's important to me too." 
	Hikaru looked at her quizically.  Clearly the transformed boy 
wasn't quite sure what to make of his older sister. 
	"Oh-kay.  G'nite, Sis."
	"'Night, Hikaru."
	Ranma's sleep came quicker than she thought it would.


	TO BE CONTINUED

SKJAM!
"Every day is a winding road"