Subject: Re: Fanfic C&C for various fics
From: Redneck Gaijin
Date: 2/12/1997, 3:17 AM
To: Chris Davies
Reply-to:
redneck@jurai.net

Chris Davies wrote:

On Tue, 11 Feb 1997, Redneck Gaijin wrote:

... let's take up Chris Davies' 'Chris 1/2 ch. 2'...

(loved Ch. 1, BTW)

        Thanks!

S'allright. };-{D

FLAVOR: About standard for a self-insertion fic, just a little bit
restrained.

        I didn't want to do a "typical" self-insertion fic.  I'm trying to
really get into how *I*, not some genius/godlike-martial-artist, would
react to all this, and how someone who is almost boringly normal would
cope with being surrounded by people who can turn him into a fine red mist
in a second.  This will really come out when Chris tries to fight Ryouga
(heavy emphasis on tries ...)

Well, you're -not- doing a typical insertion fic, but the -flavor- is
the same. Yours- this one at least- is a much better quality than most
by far. It just needs a standard editing run to tighten it up. My only
main objection- one which is pretty consistent when I read Ranma fics-
is make it sillier. R 1/2 is a wacky, wild, weird-ass comedy. Have fun
with it. }:-{D

 > > BELIEVABILITY: 'Who are you and what have you done to Kasumi?' This
Kasumi is 100% not the one shown in manga or anime; this is the
Kasumi-goddess-of-the-hearth fanfic version.

        Guilty as charged.  (Holds up "Tendou Kasumi Marching Society"
membership card)

        But I couldn't have it be Nabiki, because she's at school during
the day, and I wanted to contrast Chris and Kasumi's discussion with what
is actually going on at school.

gotcha. It's a common enough convention that I don't bitch about it
terribly much. After all, I love Rich Beaubein's 'Natsumi' stories, as
is evident in FicWars. };-{D
 
        As for "doesn't suspect ill of anyone" -- what about in the second
chapter of the manga, where she's yelling at Genma for doing "something so
dangerous?"

That's as close as she's come; polite concern. }:-{D

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