This fic is well done. As much as I can like a sad story, I like
this one.
It didn't make me say Ouch like "So Many Memories", another recent
AMG shortfic, which I also liked. This one's sad, but it's not as
painful, at least they had Keiichi's life together.
I hope you don't mind me posting this publicly, but I suspect some
people will disagree with me, so I might as well bring the whole
thing out in the open.
Chris Willmore wrote:
<snip>
it was a crime to consort with humans in that fashion - and she'd been
forced to clear her mind of every memory he had of her, and return to the
Heavens.
Ooops.
I think you mean: "...clear HIS mind of every memory he had of her,..."
<snip>
"Keiichi-sama," she sobbed. She said the name like a prayer, an
appeal when all others proved ineffective -
If I were writing this, which I'm not, I'd have her beg Kami-sama for
more time, that would be consistant with her behavior in OAV 4 and 5.
I don't think Belldandy thinks Keiichi-san has any hidden power,
even in a moment of desparation and dispair.
I don't think I'd have her call him "-sama" myself. She never went that
far. He always had her respect, but she never tried to prostrate
herself
to him. To me, it makes her sound like Ayeka from "Tenchi Myuo".
<snip>
Her faced hardened, and her eyes dried slightly with determination.
For as long as she and the universe lived, they would not be apart.
Her memories of him would form an integral component of her, she'd allow
them to guide her. She'd turn to them for joy, and dream on them for
her enjoyment... If the now non-living thing in front of her could
generate no more experiences, she would use the ones that she already
had...
Yes...
He'd never leave her, nor she him.
Here, to me, is the interesting and key question of the fic. What DOES
Belldandy do when Keiichi dies. In "Scenes from a Life", they are
literally together forever. But if that couldn't be, then Belldandy
would be going through something like this. Your concept of her
"...turning the memories into joy..." is just right, IMO, this is
very consistant with her character...
The tears stopped fully, now, and the goddess's mouth was a tight,
thin line as she drew the blanket over the corpse's face.
A new Keiichi was waiting for her.
Which makes this part more confusing to me than anything. I would have
given her a sweet, sad smile, once the tears had passed. The last
sentence
really puzzles me. Do you mean she's off to grant another wish? I
don't
get it, because Keiichi always struck me as someone very rare, a pure
heart
in a seemingly ordinary vessal. I don't think there will be a 'new'
Keiichi.