Subject: [FF][AMG] The Forever Widow
From: Chris Willmore <4cw6@qlink.queensu.ca>
Date: 2/9/1997, 4:35 PM
To: fanfic@fanfic.com

Note: This 'fic assumes no prior knowledge of the series on the part of the 
reader.

                                                     -CW

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The Forever Widow   
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                              An AMG fanfic 
                          by Christopher Willmore

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    Ah, My Goddess! characters and situations (c)1995 KOSUKE FUJISHIMA
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    "Oh, Keiichi-san..." How often in these many years had she spoken
the name of her beloved?  He was her Lord, her Life, his wish her
happiness, and now...
    And now...
    "Belldandy..." The old man on the bed in front of her lifted a 
gnarled and bony finger, and stroked her on the cheek.
    The goddess, for goddes she was, clasped her husband's human hand
with both her own, and pressed it to her chest.
    How things changed with time... She'd grown to realise that only
here, on Earth.  In the Heavens, time was meaningless.  Why should a 
moment matter, when one had Eternity?  There, a thousand years were as
an instant, everything before, and to come, was blurred into a single
'now'.
    Here, it was the opposite.  Into each second that she spent with
him was stuffed a century of joy, and a millenium of melancholy into
each minute of those times they were apart.
    The body on the bed coughed, and Belldandy gasped.  She closed her
eyes and concentrated, running her hands over the frail shell before her, 
searching for the current source of weakness.  When she'd found it, she
focused her celestal energies, chanelling them into the spiritual crack,
trying to heal him, trying to make everything all right...
    "Bell-chan... It... It's no use," said Keiichi quietly, brushing
her away.  His voice was only slightly chiding, like a parent to a
child who tries to stop the sun from rising by putting her hand before 
her eyes.
    He was right, of course,  She couldn't patch him indefinitely.  He'd
been ill for months... She'd been holding the Conclusion off, but it was
hs nature.  After all, he was...
    He was only human.
    <It isn't fair!> She cried inside.  What good were her powers, her
divinity, her immortality, if she had to be split from the one she 
loved?  To have found him, only to lose him so irrevocably, was 
unbearable... Yet, there was no point in trying to avert that which
Kami-sama had decreed.
    How much time did they have left?  She scanned his aura, and found it 
yellow and tremulous.  Probably hours, certainly not days.  There
was nothing else to do, and her husband seemed to realise it.  He closed
his eyes, and settled into a deep sleep.
    With salty tears running into her mouth from her cheeks, the goddess
took her man's hand, and waited.
    Time passed, and the clock ticked on, the constant rhythm of its
pendulum-swing bringing her into a sort of trance.  Her heartbeat
slowed, her limbs relaxed somewhatm and while Keiichi slept her own
thoughts wandered from the present and the yet-to-come, focusing instead
upon the happy past.
    She remembered their first meeting; they'd been children, both, and
had fun playing together, enjoying their mutual company... It was then that
she'd decided she wanted to share her existence with this mortal. Soon
after she'd reached that decision, she'd been found out by her superiors -
it was a crime to consort with humans in that fashion - and she'd been
forced to clear her mind of every memory he had of her, and return to the
Heavens.
    Years later, they had met again.  Keiichi'd been a college student
when by some benevolent turn of fate he'd called her business number.
Kami-sama had found him worthy of a wish, and when she'd asked, he'd
named it without hesitation:
    'I wish for you to stay with me forever', he had said - for the
first time, if not the last.
    He'd repeated it at their betrothal, and their wedding, and she had
done her best to fulfill her obligation.  Why should she not?  It was
her bliss, as well as her duty.  It was HE that filled her existence,
HE that made it worthwhile to rise each morning...
    She loved him, utterly, and so she stayed.  Over the years, there
were times when her divine duties had caused her to leave him, but she
always returned as soon as she was able to, and he waited for her, 
trusting his wife completely.
    Only now did it dawn on her thaat it had never been the other way
around.  This was the first time that he would leave her, and also the
one time that he could not return, any more than she could follow.
    "Keiichi-sama," she sobbed.  She said the name like a prayer, an
appeal when all others proved ineffective -
    And still the old man slept on, oblivious, for the moment, to her 
pain, and Belldandy was glad of that, for she knew it hurt him to see
her so.
    More time passed, filled with tears and much wringing of hands,
and smoothing of hair, and blankets, until time could pass no more.
    The critical moment came, when no enchantment could help, no
incantation heal.  Of a sudden, Keiichi's body jerked, twitching as if
under the influence of electricity.  The goddess called his name, over
and over, but he could not hear her, nor did his aged eyes see her
ageless countenance.  Open wide and glassy, they were focused Elsewhere.
    A final cough, and the body fell limp.

    It was done, and he was gone.  Where to, she couldn't say - she
was not allowed to know about it, save that the region was out of bounds
to her.  The tears came stronger now, stronger as the realisation hit -
there'd be no more walks, no more talks, no more evenings of watching
the clouds drift by...  No more would they share a pleasant meal together,
as they had for decades - all this was gone, gone with the smile that
the corpse's stiffening lips could no longer make, gone as the twinkle
from the yellowing, vacant eyes...
    But still, she thought, she would fulfill her vow, her geis.  A 
goddess could not follow a human into death, but she had promised to be
with him forever, and she would.
    Her faced hardened, and her eyes dried slightly with determination.
    For as long as she and the universe lived, they would not be apart.
Her memories of him would form an integral component of her, she'd allow
them to guide her. She'd turn to them for joy, and dream on them for
her enjoyment...  If the now non-living thing in front of her could
generate no more experiences, she would use the ones that she already
had...
    Yes...
    He'd never leave her, nor she him.
    The tears stopped fully, now, and the goddess's mouth was a tight,
thin line as she drew the blanket over the corpse's face.
    A new Keiichi was waiting for her.

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___________________________________________________________________________
Christopher Willmore
4cw6@qlink.queensu.ca
http://qlink.queensu.ca/~4cw6/2096a.htm

o/~ Well, friction's a force (of course, of course) / And no one can solve
for said force (of course) / unless that force happens to be / proportional
to vee! o/~