Hi ho!  Shadow Dancer here with another of my infamous, stupid 'fics. 
 Hope you like it!
               Shadow Dancer
                    of
       Black Lightning Design Group
        danceshadows@geocities.com


-------------- Enclosure number 1 ----------------
                    Ranma-Crazy, Episode 1-"Confusion"

(scene opens, it is morning and Ranma and Genma are fighting over the Tendo's
pool. view shifts to a boy, who is falling towards the Tendo's lawn.)

BOY: DAMN CHEMISTRY CLUB!!!

(The boy lands on the Tendo lawn, beside Ranma and Genma. The boy appears to be
knocked out cold. Ranma and Genma stop fighting, pick up the boy, and take him
into the living room. Akane walks downstairs to see what all the fuss is about,
and sees the boy, who is knocked out cold. She walks closer, to see the boy
better, and notices a few certain things. 1: the person is male(duh! whap!) 2:
the person is fairly tall(can't see from here, but should be taller than Ranma,
by quite a bit) 3: He has really long hair(can't see where it should go down to,
but it LOOKS like it should end around the waist) also, the hair is black, and
in a long ponytail. 4: can't see his eyes until he opens them 5: his back-pack
looks like it holds a lot, and it also occasionally twitches. upon noticing
this, Akane moves closer to the pack and tries to open it and look inside. the
boy chooses that moment to wake up.)

BOY: Wha....(looks dazed) Who are you? (goes starry-eyed) You're beautiful! I
love you!

AKANE: Wha???(gets mad) You're a PERVERT!!!(picks up the table, and hits the boy
out of the house, into what looks like the start of a thunderstorm)

RANMA: Wow! and I thought you'd only do that to me! (Akane still has the table,
which she uses at that point to smash Ranma into the floor) Ouch.

(A short while later, a girl walks up to the Tendo's house. She's about one and
a half feet shorter than the boy who Akane just hit, she also has long hair,
about waist-length. her hair is done up in a ponytail, and it's a strawberry
colour. Her eyes are a hazel colour, and they look almost like cat's eyes. Also,
she seems to be holding the same back-pack that the previous boy had. She also
appears to be as well-endowed as Ranma's female form. Also to be noticed is that
her eyes look a little glazed over, if one was looking for that.)

NABIKI: Hmmm, I wonder who that is, and I wonder how much money I can get from a
picture at THIS angle of her...( Nabiki gets an evil grin on her face, and
starts taking pictures of the girl.)

(the girl walks up to the door, oblivious to Nabiki, and knocks on the door)

KASUMI: Ranma? Could you get that please? I'm busy cooking breakfast!

(sounds of running are heard, and soon Ranma opens the door)

RANMA: (holding an ice-pack to his head) Hello? What can I do for you?

GIRL: (going starry eyed) Oh! What a hunk! I love you!

AKANE: (shouting) RANMA??? Are you flirting with more girls???

KASUMI: Thank-you Ranma. Could you bring her into the living room so we can talk
to her? Thank-you!

RANMA: (gulps) Ummm, you aren't gonna chase me now, are you?

GIRL: No, I won't. That's not my way. (still starry-eyed) well? Aren't you going
to take me inside like she asked you?

(Ranma gulps again, and looks outside. He notices that the rain is lessening,
but he still doesn't want to take a chance.)

RANMA: Well, if you won't chase me around, I will. but first, what is your name?

GIRL: I'll tell you that along with everyone else. I don't really like repeating
myself... even for hunks like you.

RANMA: Well, ok. (shouting) Hey Akane! Two things! One, I'm not flirting, and
she's not really intent on chasing me, or so she says. And two, I think she
might have real business here.

AKANE: (shouting, grudgingly(how she does that, I don't know)) Well, ok. She can
come in if she doesn't make a fool of herself.

(Ranma leads the girl into the living room, where Soun, Genma, Akane, Nabiki,
and Kasumi (in that order) are seated around the table. The girl looks at Akane
strangely for a second, but looks away before anyone can notice.)

RANMA: Well, you said you'd introduce yourself now...(smiles encouragingly)

(Akane, Soun, Nabiki, and Genma look expectantly at the girl, while Kasumi is
still smiling)

GIRL: Well, my name is(backpack jumps a little, but only Akane notices.) Ishtay.
I've come to ask you if I could train at your Dojo.

SOUN: Well... Ishtay, we would have to see how well you can learn before you can
be allowed to join our Dojo. A small practice match should tell us what,
exactly, your learning capacity is.... Shall, we?

(Soun leads Ishtay(and thereby the entire group) into the Dojo. Ishtay and Soun
bow onto the tatami mat, and square off. Soun notices Ishtay's stance.)

SOUN: Umm, Ishtay, no special attacks are allowed in the dojo, We'd like to keep
it in one piece.(Ishtay nods, sadly, and tries to take the same stance as Soun)
Umm, Ishtay? Wrong foot forward. Do you know ANY martial arts yet? (Ishtay
shakes her head) Well, this is as good a time as any, so follow my movements,
and try to keep up.

(Soun starts on beginner's katas, and goes slowly, as Ishtay is messing up every
second step.)

SOUN: Well, enough for warm-up, now let's practice.(on his first swing, Soun
notices that Ishtay tries to block with her open hands, mumbles something, and
then from a SMALL hit(He pulled his punch, he didn't want to hurt her) gets
knocked backwards, just before a small, light glow begins to surround her body.)

NABIKI: Ummmm, Father? I think you weren't supposed to knock her out...

SOUN: Well how was I supposed to know that she's helpless when she's trying to
cast a spell.... One that didn't do her much good, anyways...

(Akane leaves the room for a while, then comes back with a pail of water.)

RANMA: HEY!!! Be careful with that! We don't want her to find out about my
curse, do we? I mean, too many people know already!

AKANE: Well, sorrry! (throws entire bucket at Ishtay, who immediately wakes up.)

ISHTAY: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!(for those of us who actually look in
someone's eyes, hers are no longer glazed over.)

SOUN: She seems to be suprised about something... I wonder what.

ISHTAY: (remembering back, finds nothing, really, to be afraid of.) I'm sorry, I
guess I over-reacted a little...(smiles) Thank-you.

AKANE: (smiling) No, thank-you! I don't really get a chance to do that around
here anymore.... (glares at Ranma)

ISHTAY: (after noticing Ranma, Blushes a little, and then starts.) Ummm, I think
I am not really cut out to train here.... If someone could show me out,
please...?

ANAKE: (nods) Sure, would you like some tea before you go?(Ishtay nods happily,
then looks glum for a bit. She looks outside and notices that it has stopped
raining.)

ISHTAY: Well, It looks so nice out, do you think I could drink the tea on the
porch? I'll leave the cup there before I leave, if that's all right?

AKANE: (nods) Sure! (Everyone else walks quickly back into the house while Akane
leads Ishtay to the porch) Be right back. (Akane walks into the house, and we
notice Nabiki, who's leaning out of her window, again, and is taking pictures of
Ishtay from above.)

ISHTAY: Hey Nabiki? I think one roll of pictures is enough... I know Kuno'll
love them, as I look so much like his Pig-tailed-girl at this angle, but enough
is enough, right? (Nabiki starts, then nods and retreats back into her room,
where she promptly faints.)

SOUN: (from the living room) What was that? (he gets up and runs to Nabiki's
room, where he sees her sprawled on the floor, Camera in hand, and looking very
stunned.)

(Akane walks outside and notices Ishtay is still glowing a bit.)

AKANE: Why don't you get rid of the shield? You aren't fighting anyone right
now...

ISHTAY: Well, Akane, I don't really want to get rid of it yet... those Chemistry
students might still be lurking around and I don't really want to get caught
between them all with nothing protecting me... thank-you( as she recieves her
tea). well, you'd better get back in for breakfast... I don't know how much will
be left by now... Good-bye!

AKANE: See-ya! <I hope I can see her again, sometime, even though she likes
Ranma.> (Akane waves to Ishtay, then runs back into the house.

(Ishtay sighs, waits untill Akane is out of sight, then pours the tea over
herself. We see the boy that Akane had hit earlier in Ishtay's place.)

ISHTAY-KUN: (whispering) You will, and sooner than you think... (he then stands
up, walks out of the yard, around the block, and back into the yard. At this
point he also notices that he's still holding the tea-cup. He walks up to the
porch, and puts the cup down. Then he stands straighter... and knocks on the
door, again.)

KASUMI: (from the living room) Akane... I know you just finished eating, but
could you get the door, please? I'm busy doing dishes... (At the word dishes,
Ishtay-kun winces, but stands his ground.)

AKANE: (grumbling) Well, FINE! I wasn't really hungry anyways.... (opens the
door, and is confronted with the boy who she saw earlier. screaming) WHAT ARE
YOU DOING HERE AGAIN!!!! I'LL PLOW YOU INTO THE GROUND!!!!

RANMA: (from inside) Now who's flirting?

(Akane picks up a mallet, which just happens to be sitting beside the door, and
throws it into the house. We hear Ranma groaning. Akane then turns around, picks
up a large, heavy, vase, which also just happens to be sitting beside the door
and gets ready to throw it at Ishtay)

ISHTAY: WAIT! I can explain!!! Please let me explain!!!(Akane nods, and Ishtay
then starts talking, without thinking, in english) 
*I'msorrybutIwasbonkedontheheadandIwasn'tmyselfatthatpoint!*

AKANE: (blinks) Umm, could you repeat that, slower, and in Japanese?

ISHTAY: (blinks, and then says, slower, and in Japanese) I'm sorry but I was
bonked on the head and I wasn't myself at that point.

AKANE: (blinks, then puts down the vase that she was holding.) Okay. Follow me,
and NO FUNNY STUFF!

ISHTAY: (nods. Akane leads Ishtay into the living room) <talk about deja-vu!>
(Ranma is looking at Ishtay, bug-eyed, Soun walks downstairs with Nabiki
following after. Nabiki still looks dazed. Kasumi walks quietly in from the
kitchen, and Genma is looking in from the pool. We also notice that Ranma has a
mallet-shaped dent on his forehead, and we see the mallet, not too far away.)
Hello, I'd like to apply to the dojo. (Soun's jaw drops.) Did I miss anything?

NABIKI: Well, either you had just had a small case of amnesia, or there's two of
you. (Nabiki looks like she's about to take out her camera, then thinks about it
again.) By the way, can you read minds?

ISHTAY: Maybe, and then again, maybe not. <Nabiki's face looks priceless right
now... I wish I had a camera right now...> (Nabiki looks like she was just ran
over by a truck. A very, VERY large truck. wouldn't you be suprised if one ran
over you?)

SOUN: Did you know that you're the second applicant for the dojo today? the last
one...

ISHTAY: Was a girl. I know, I met her before she left.

NABIKI: Did she read your mind too? (Ishtay shrugs) Well, I, personally, don't
want to see her again.

ISHTAY: Why? So she can't catch you taking pictures of her again? (Nabiki
faints, again) <priceless, but I think that was a bit too much.>

AKANE: How would you know of this?

ISHTAY: Well, the other girl told me to watch out, because for the angle at
which SHE (pointing at Nabiki) was taking pictures, I could easily be mistaken
for that boy over there. (pointing at Ranma) <I wish I didn't have to act like I
didn't know anyone here yet...>

AKANE: Nabiki was taking pictures of Ishtay?

ISHTAY: If that was her name, then yes. (giggles)

AKANE: (blinks) Well, then. Hey, father... do you think we should let him into
the dojo?

SOUN: Well, we'd have to know his name first....

ISHTAY: <here we go again, talk about deja-vu!> My name's Ishtay. (Everyone
facefaults, except Kasumi.)

KASUMI: Oh, were you her? (Ishtay looks confused for a second, then shakes his
head.) Well, if you weren't, then you should fare better than she did in the
practice then.

ISHTAY: <Well, by thinking of that a different way, no, I wasn't her. I wasn't
the girl that drowned in that pool... I just fell into it. Now what mess did I
get myself into.> Well, I don't know. How did SHE fare in the practice?

AKANE: She made a fool of herself. She didn't even know how to block or dodge,
she just _tried_ to cast a defence spell, but it didn't work. Well, not until
after she got hit, that is. And I was sure she could take that hit without
flinching, she certainly looked like she could.

ISHTAY: Well, I dunno... Casting a spell takes a lot out of a person... and it
leaves the person vulnerable while casting it... (Everyone stares at Ishtay.)
What? So I use magic sometimes... big deal!

KASUMI: Are you sure you aren't her? You look so much alike, you know...

ISHTAY: (sweating a little) No, I'm not her! How could you even say such a
thing?

SOUN: Well, the matter's moot, as she's not here to confirm this. By the way,
Why do you want to learn martial arts, anyways?

ISHTAY: (calming down, visibly) Several people are after me, for various
reasons. I'd like to be able to defend myself against all of them without having
to ask other people to protect me all the time.

SOUN: (looking interested) What type of people?

ISHTAY: (looking around) lots of people. Crazed lovers, (Akane's eyes bulge out)
NO! not that way! She's following me around all of the time! She's in love with
me for some reason! Sort of like Shampoo and Ranma... oops. (Ranma and Akane are
looming over Ishtay at this point)

RANMA & AKANE: How did you find out about Shampoo?

ISHTAY: She mentioned it when she walked into the Magic Shoppe I work at.
<well, I work there, all right... I own the joint, but what they don't know
won't hurt them....>

AKANE: The Magic Shoppe? (Ranma and Akane both sit back down.) The one that's
right beside her restaurant? I've heard of it, didn't it turn out 50,000 yen
profit in the first day?

ISHTAY: I don't know how much profit, really. All I know is that this girl
Shampoo walks in on the first day that we were open, and bought out most of the
stock. (Akane looks stunned) She was babbling about Ranma the entire time.
(Ranma looks sick)

RANMA: What was she saying about me?

ISHTAY: She said something about her great-grandmother making love potions for
her too use on Ranma. (Ranma groans) Well, what else would you use passion-spice
for?

KASUMI: Well, it goes good with spaghetti...

(Ishtay faints. Shortly after he's revived, Soun takes Ishtay into the dojo,
where they warm up for their practice fight. Ishtay does everything better, than
before. but still, when it came to the fight, he tried blocking this time,
but....)

NABIKI: (she had recovered before Ishtay) Well, daddy. it loks like you've done
it again!

ISHTAY: (waking up) RANMA!!! (Ishtay starts running towards Ranma. Ranma looks
stunned, but that doesn't stop him from punching Ishtay out, again. Ishtay wakes
up a few seconds later. Ishtay now starts running towards Akane.) AKANE HONEY!!
(Akane. Mallet. Ishtay. Head. what more need be said?)

SOUN: That's odd. I could have sworn that he was after Ranma first...

ISHTAY: (waking up) Ohhhh, what happened? my head feels like a battle just took
place there....

NABIKI: One just did. One with you and Ranma, then one with you and Akane. Any
explanations for this?

ISHTAY: I could tell you, but you wouldn't believe me. So I won't.

KASUMI: Well, seem as you won't answer a question that deals with generalities,
right..? (Ishtay nods.) so when I asked you that question, earlier, you were
thinking of someone else..? (Ishtay nods, looking nervous.) Is it then
possible that that girl that we saw earlier was your sister? (Ishtay thinks for
a second, then nods.) Ok, then, why didn't you just say that, then?

ISHTAY: I'm not allowed to talk about anyone too close to me. In the magic
business, if someone knows your given name, that gives that person a lot of
power over you. And _she_ would tell the truth to anyone, if asked the right
way. same with me.

KASUMI: Knowledge gives power? Well, I can understand that. Well then, can you
tell us you given name? (Ishtay nods) Please tell us, then.

ISHTAY: I'll tell you, but you must promise that you won't tell anyone else, no
matter how cose to you. (everyone nods) well? I did say promise...

EVERYONE: We promise not to tell anyone what you tell us.

ISHTAY: Good. but first, Ranma? Please do something about Shampoo. She's haging
around outside, and I don't want her knowing. (Ranma blinks, then runs outside
for a minuite. we hear some screaming, then a cat meowing, then Ranma-chan runs
into the dojo, with Shampoo-neko clinging to her back.) Umm, this might need
expert help. Tammy?

(a cat pops it's head out of Ishtay's back-pack. From what
we can see of the cat, It's white, and looks pretty young. The cat hops out of
the back-pack, then promptly starts growing. Pretty soon, the cat looks
humanoid, but still has the tail, the eyes, and the claws of a cat. Tammy is
also standing, stark naked in the middle of the dojo. Ishtay takes this in
stride, as does Kasumi. Ranma-chan is running away from Tammy. While everyone
else is staring at her. Tammy starts running, quickly catches up with
Ranma-chan, snatches Shampoo-neko from Ranma's back, and throws Shampoo out of
the yard. it looks like she should land somewhere close to the school.)

TAMMY: Anything else, Colin? Oops, did you want to tell them? Well sorry...
(giggling, Tammy changes back into kitten form, and hops back into the
back-pack.)

ISHTAY: Well, I wanted to tell them... but it doesn't matter anyways. Ummm,
Ranma? You can stop shivering now....

RANMA-CHAN-NEKO: Meow?

TAMMY: (from back-pack) did I hear a cat out there? It sound female... Colin, is
there another cat out there?

ISHTAY: (to Tammy) Well, unless you consider Ranma a cat, then no, there isn't
another cat out here. (To Akane) umm, Akane? do you think you could settle him
down, please? I'd like to leave this dojo in one piece, if you please? (Akane
walks over to Ranma. Ranma sniffs Akane's outstretched hand, then shudders a
bit.(please don't complain about this. I haven't seen how it really
happens/happened, so this is the best I can come up with) Ranma stands up again)

RANMA: Umm, could someone get me some hot water? Did Shampoo make me go cat
again? well, if she did, I'm not going to see HER for a while...

ISHTAY: Well, you _could_ say that it was Shampoo that did it, but we can't
really tell you right now. How about later? (Ranma nods. Evenyone else is
staring at Ishtay)

AKANE: (whispering to Ishtay) you don't lie right? (Ishtay nods) Well then, what
do you call what you just did?

ISHTAY: (whispering to Akane) Well, we don't know if it was Tammy or Shampoo
that did that, and because Shampoo was the closest, we can safely assume that it
WAS Shampoo, okay? And no, I don't lie. I just report the probability of what
someone asks. note that I _did_ say might.

NABIKI: Hey Colin? how much is keeping your given name a secret worth to you?

ISHTAY: Do you want to stay human? Because if not, you're welcome to tell
whoever you want. And remember, like my <probable> sister, I DO read minds, so
I'll know if you did tell anyone.

NABIKI: (shuddering a bit) Well, that's a really good price. I can't say that
I've had any better ones in the past while. (Nabiki's sweating)

AKANE: Why did you hesitate when you said sister?

ISHTAY: You'll find out later.

SOUN: Ishtay, (Soun refuses to call Ishtay by his given name) Do you have a
place to stay at? (Ishtay shakes his head) Well, do you have anything useful
that you can do to pay for room and board?

ISHTAY: Well, I could tell you, but it can only be you.... I'm pretty embarresed
about it right now... <yeah, like a boy doing all of the house-chores is normal
around here.. and in this day and age, too!> (Soun ushers everyone out the door,
but they don't go much farther than that.) (Whispering to Soun) Well, I can do
most house-chores.

SOUN: (in a normal speaking voice) What do you mean, almost?

ISHTAY: (cringes, and whispers to Soun) I can't cook. (Soun freaks out) That's
why I wanted to tell only one person...

TAMMY: (from back-pack) Smooth one.

SOUN: (totally freaking out) YOU CAN'T COOK? YOU EXPECT ME TO ALLOW _ANOTHER_
FREELOADING MOUTH TO S... (Soun thinks for a second.)Did you say earlier that
you worked for the Magic Shoppe? (Ishtay nods) Well, then, how much should I
charge for you staying here? (notices Nabiki at the entrance, behind Ishtay)

NABIKI: (holding a sign which says) {go for 5000 yen per day!}

GENMA: (Also in the door, and also holding a sign) {2000 yen. Nabiki's trying to
kill him!}

SOUN: Well, (thinking about it) I think I'll say 1500 yen per week for
training... (Nabiki pantomimes strangling her father, Genma cheers silently) And
I think 500 yen per day for room and board, unless you help with the chores and
bring food here, occasionally. If that is the case, then 1000 yen per month
ought to cover it.

ISHTAY: (nodding) Thank-you. That sound fine by me. Oh Nabiki... 5000 yen per
day? Isn't that a little steep? What would Tammy say about _another_ cat running
around the house, hmm? (Nabiki blanches) Well, I _did_ warn you about the
mind-reading, didn't I? (Nabiki nods) Well, then? Any apologies?

NABIKI: (whispering) I'm sorry.

(Genma is still silently cheering, which Nabiki finally notices. Nabiki remedies
the problem by throwing a punch at Genma. Saotome Air makes a quick stop in the
pond. Everyone looks at Ishtay to see his reaction. Ishtay is unfazed. Everyone
is suprised. Nabiki walks towards the house, where Genma-panda splashes her with
a bucket of water. Nabiki freaks.)

NABIKI: What are you doing? You wrecked my shirt! You're gonna pay for this!!!
(Nabiki takes her anger out on Genma, again, by putting him on Saotome Air,
again. Nabiki walks into the house, muttering.)

ISHTAY: Hey, Nabiki? I thought calling guests Baka, and jerk was against house
honor... hmmm?

KASUMI: Nabiki? That isn't your shirt. It's Akane's. (by this time Nabiki is all
the way into the house, so she doesn't hear Kasumi.) Oh, well. she probably
wouldn't even listen, anyways.

NABIKI: I heard Ishtay though! (Nabiki is hanging out her window. Nabiki turns
around, looks for something that isn't valuable to throw at Ishtay, and for lack
of anything else, throws a glass of water. Ishtay, upon seeing the flying
projectile, goes berserk, and runs away from the water, straight into one of the
walls.)

KASUMI: What are you throwing things for, Nabiki? (We watch the water as it
sails lazily towards the dojo, clears the door, and lands on Ranma.) Why did you
run from the water, Ishtay?

ISHTAY: Aquaphobia. (shudders) <at least that's as close as I want to come to
the subject for a while...> (At this point, Ranma-chan is screaming her head
off. Ranma tears across the lawn, and into the house. After a few seconds,
Nabiki looks around, and then gets pushed out of her window, into the pool.)
Serves her right for splashing Ranma like that. (Akane looks startled at Ishtay
for making a remark like that, and then decides that he knew more about them
than he let on.)

KASUMI: That's different. At least it's not Akane that he's fighting with. Well,
Ishtay, you can sleep in Ranma and his... well, at this point, let's make that
_her_ fathers room. Is that alright with you? (Ishtay nods) Okay then, how about
you come in the kitchen and I'll give you some cooking tips. From what we heard
from father, you will probably need all the help you can get. (Ishtay nods,
happily.) Oh, Ranma! Could you take Ishtay's back-pack to your room, please?
He'll be sleeping with you and your father. (Ranma-chan runs out of the house,
snags the back-pack on her way past, and hurdles the pond on her way back into
the house.)

RANMA-CHAN: Hey, Kasumi? could you get me and pops some hot water while you're
in the kitchen, please? Thanks!
        *       *       *       *       *       *       *       *       *
(Kasumi leads Ishtay into the kitchen, looks around to be sure that they are
alone, and says to him)

KASUMI: Well, so you fell into Nyannichuan, too, huh? (Ishtay nods dumbly.
Kasumi giggles) Well, it pays to act ignorant a lot of the time. So, how's
business at The Magic Shoppe? Doing well? (Ishtay nods) Good, because I know
that you own the place, so maybe a small discount might be in order? (Ishtay
looks dumbstruck. Kasumi giggles again.) Silly, I wouldn't do that. Although I
might like to know what items Shampoo buys from you next time she comes in. I'd
like to be able to prepare the correct counter-measures for anything she feeds
to Akane or Ranma. Is that fine by you? (Ishtay nods vigerously) Good. About
earlier, when you were all over Akane and Ranma, were those your true feelings,
or was that an alternate personality?

ISHTAY: Those were my true feelings, sort-of. (Kasumi gestures for him to
continue) I was cursed earlier in life. (Again, Kasumi gestures for him to
continue. Ishtay takes a deep breath.) I was cursed to fall in love with two
people. People who were in love with each other. (Kasumi looks shocked) I know
it sounds unbelievable, so did I, at first. That is, until I saw Akane and Ranma
the first time. After that, I went to Nyannichuan to have a _reason_ for how I
felt about Ranma and Akane.

KASUMI: (nods) So, you really love them? (Ishtay nods) The curse is still
working? (Ishtay shrugs) As in, maybe the curse altered your feelings, and now
you're stuck with them? (Ishtay shrugs) Well, then. Would you like me to remove
your feelings for Ranma and Akane? (Ishtay Shakes his head) No? As in, you
actually _want_ to feel this way about them? (Ishtay nods) Even if it means that
your love might never be returned? (Ishtay again, nods) Well, then, might as
well start with the cooking, as this conversation just went out the window.

(Kasumi leads Ishtay to the spice closet, and starts describing how certain
spices worked with the others. Ishtay's head was reeling from all the
information that was being stuffed into it before Ranma-chan walked into the
kitchen.)

RANMA-CHAN: Hey Kasumi? Is the water ready, yet?

KASUMI: I'm sorry, Ranma, I forgot, and the water I have already is for the soup
tonight. (Ranma-chan shrugs and walks towards the bathroom) That reminds me,
Ishtay. (Kasumi says to Ishtay after Ranma is out of earshot.) You should remind
Tammy to lie low when Ranma is home, you saw what happens when he's too close to
a cat for a while. Also, it might not be a good idea to be a late sleeper. Genma
wakes with the dawn and likes to wake everyone else in the guest room. With
water.

ISHTAY: Thank-you. I'll remind myself to wake _before_ the dawn, then.
(giggles) Oh, by the way, do you know when Nodoka is next coming over for a
visit? (Kasumi looks startled, then gets a mischevious grin)

KASUMI: Why do you ask?

ISHTAY: (still giggling) Well, It might be neat paying court to "Ranko" and
Akane at the same time. (bursts out laughing, Kasumi joins in)

KASUMI: I see, You want to show both of them how much you feelings go down for
them. I understand. (gets a naughty grin) Well, how about for starters, how
about you go and have a shower with Ranma? He's probably changed back by now...

ISHTAY: I think I will. Wait! Is there something going on that I should know?

KASUMI: I thought you could read minds?

ISHTAY: I can, just not very well, and I have to concentrate hard to even manage
it. From the amount I _did_ manage to do earlier, I'd have to eat two full
meals, and sleep for ten hours to even manage to _try_ to read someone else's
mind for the next while... Oops, I think that Genma might be in for a surprise
tomorrow morning, unless I sleep on the roof...

KASUMI: I'm usually awake before Genma, anyways. I'll try to wake you before
Genma, okay? Well, are you off to the bath?

ISHTAY: Thanks, and yes, I will. Are you sure there isn't something that you're
hiding from me? (Kasumi, still giggling, shakes her head.) Okay, then. I'll be
back after my bath. That tea you make really stains well, did you know that?
(Kasumi nods her head) Well, I'm off.
        *       *       *       *       *       *       *       *       *
RANMA: (Grumbling, Ranma-kun gets out of the shower. Muttering, in pseudo-Kasumi
voice) I'm sorry Ranma, I forgot, and the water I have already is for the soup
tonight.(In  normal voice) Well, at least I'm clean now. I hope Ishtay or
Akane doesn't walk in right now and see me like this...

(Ranma's wish couldn't be more ignored. Shortly after Ranma utters his wish,
Ishtay walks in, obviously ready for a nice long bath. Ranma, upon seeing Ishtay
walk into the bathroom, _without_ knocking, blows his top. Ishtay has a quarter
second to view Ranma's fist before it connects. Ishtay is sent flying into the
laundry room door. A couple seconds after this happens, Akane opens the door, in
time to see Ishtay waking up.)

ISHTAY: Akane-honey! (Akane, seeing this as a threat, promptly throws a fist at
Ishtay, which sends him flying towards Ranma. Ishtay slides to a stop beside
Ranma.)

RANMA: Cool punch Akane. (notices a bucket that Akane has in her hands) Hey,
Akane! What's in the bucket? (Akane grins, and then sends the contents of the
bucket flying at Ranma.) WATER??? AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!! (Most of the water
misses, but some of it lands on Ranma, and some of it lands on Ishtay.)What'd
you do that for? (notices a woozy Ishtay-chan waking up.) AAAAAAAAAAAA!!!
(Ranma-chan jumps into the bath, before thinking. Ranma-kun stands up, and
Ishtay-chan sees him.)

ISHTAY-CHAN: Ranma-honey! (Gets up and starts chasing Ranma.)

RANMA: I don't think that was a good idea. (Akane looks startled, then calmly
leaves the laundry room, closes the door and...)

        *       *       *       *       *       *       *       *       *
(Soun hears something. It sounds familiar. It sounds like Akane. Akane, after
she walked in on Ranma, that first day. Akane's screaming.)

SOUN: (screaming) RAAANNNNMMMMAAAA!!!! WHAT ARE YOU DOING NOW????
        *       *       *       *       *       *       *       *       *
(Genma hears something. It sounds familiar. It sounds like Akane. Akane, after
she walked in on Ranma, that first day. Akane's screaming.)

GENMA: (also screaming) RANMA!! WHAT DID YOU DO THIS TIME????
        *       *       *       *       *       *       *       *       *
(Nabiki hears something. It sounds familiar. It sounds like Akane. Akane, after
she walked in on Ranma, that first day. Akane's screaming.)

NABIKI: (thinking) <Hmm, I wonder if I can get any pictures of this...>
        *       *       *       *       *       *       *       *       *
(Kasumi hears something. It sounds familiar. It sounds like Akane. Akane, after
she walked in on Ranma, that first day. Akane's screaming.)

KASUMI: Oh, my. I forgot about Ranma, and the joke Akane was going to pull on
        him today...
(end of episode 1)