When I first looked at this I thought I was going to skim on by, 
same old story, small new twist, whats to read?

But as I began, I got drawn in...

Adrian has a good take on this one I think.  The characterization
is good.  I find myself wishing for more, and more detail in 
what has already been posted on this one.

Those of you who ping on grammer and writing skills will see a few 
things to mention.  Words repeat too often in single paragraphs.
Someone with a better handle on grammer than I have could help 
Adrian by doing some detailed C&C.

As for me though, I LIKE this story.  It doesn't have a lot of 
flash or controversy potential so far, but, like Mousse Lee's 
ANK, it has a comfortable environment and the characters are 
very likable.  

I hope Adrian doesn't get discouraged and drop this if 
C&C is rare.

The only complaint I'll raise is Kaneda's use of a Hammer.  
I think use of Hammerspace(tm) should remain a gender specific 
capability, and Kaneda should find a better way to control
Ranko at those moments when she needs to be 'reigned in'.

--
Jim Nutley
Kunoranter First Class
(Humble Too!)
jnutley@lvnexus.net