At 06:52 PM 2/4/97 +1100, Martin Bennett wrote:

This is only my second non-Ranma fic and I'd really like to hear a few 
opinions on it. I started it months ago, but only got around to finishing 
it today. I wrote it mainly because I really like Taiho Shichauzo and I've
never actually seen any fics about it. Anyway, I'm reasonably happy with 
it, but I can't shake the feeling that something is missing... Any 
suggestions would help.
                                                               - P-word.

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Clogged Sink Press Presents:

A Taiho Shichauzo (You're Under Arrest) Fanfiction:


                            Three Colours Blue:
                          Love, Friendship & Duty

I enjoyed this quite a bit.  I think it's the first YUA fic I've seen.

As for what's missing, I think, as MKK said, things got back to normal
awfully quickly.  I mean, Miyuki had a long term relationship with this guy
and still had feelings for him, and Natsumi was currently *in* a
relationship with him.  So what do they do at the end?  Go to a party.
Doesn't work for me.

One nit -  How old are Miyuki and Natusmi?  I'd always thought they were
early-20s.  You've got Miyuki and Hiro first getting together 8 years
earlier, which would put her in, what, Junior High?  A little young for him,
wasn't she?

btw - you might want to make another read-thru... I saw a few grammar
problems - mainly with possessives.


Overall, well done (except for the ending).  I look forward to reading the
next draft :)


Jeanne Hedge
http://www.accsyst.com/jhedge/

Assistant SysOp
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