Then he had followed Kurama into unconsiousness.

	He pulled himself out of his memory and used the Jagon to glance
through the temple walls. Kurama was still asleep, most of the bandages
gone since Yukina had turned her power on the Youko again. He rested his
chin on his drawn up knees and let out a miserable little sigh. Damn that
Youko. What was he supposed to do now? That secret little place was now a
wide open, yawning chasm, impossible to ignore. He had managed to keep it
contained and under control by staying as far away from Kurama as possible
since that...time in the water.

	The memory of it still disturbed him. Once he had regained his
composure, and he had to do it sitting naked in the top of a tree, he had
been furious. Furious with himself for being so scared, for being unable to
deal with that searing pleasure that had burned through him, that had
overwhelmed him and left him reeling and defenseless. And furious with
Kurama for doing it to him. He had felt betrayed, felt that Kurama had just
been playing with him. That he had just done it for the hell of it. He was
Youko after all. So he had shut Kurama out. Even when they had to be
together as teammates, he had made sure that they were never alone, refused
to exchange any more words with him than was necessary, made very sure that
he was never close enough for Kurama to touch him.

	For Kurama to touch him...he closed his eyes. Even though he had
kept Kurama away from him physically, he still showed up in his dreams, a
lot. Very vivid dreams. Dreams that he would jerk out of with his erection
a throbbing ache and his veins full of fire. He'd stay perfectly still
until it went away, afraid to move, afraid of what might happen. And he'd
curse Kurama the whole time. Yet now he was wondering if he had thought the
wrong thing. Kurama had almost died trying to protect him. Again the
feeling of panic, of being left without that Youko flicked though him,
accompanied by a rush of confusing desires that terrified him.

	Why? He didn't understand why Kurama had done that. Or why he had
done what he did when he realized that Kurama was dying. He had let Kurama
in, had let him touch the core of himself that he kept hidden and locked
away from everyone else. He had a moment of revelation, as sharp and bright
edged as sunlight on the edge of a sword. He had done it because he loved
that Youko and couldn't bare the thought of going on without him. It shook
him to the very core of his being. He was twice damned.

	"My tastes run to refinement and beauty," Kurama's voice whispered
that again in his head.

	He was well aware of that. And well aware that those were both
things he didn't have. After all, he WAS a foul tempered little runt. A
foul tempered little runt who was in love with a half-human youko and had
absolutely no idea of what to do about it. He stood, looked one more time
at Kurama, then left.

* * *

	Kurama shuffled through the riot of color that carpeted the path,
head down and hands clenched into fists in the pockets of his jacket. Then
he kicked at the leaves in frustration, sending them to swirl up in the
cold clean wind. Hiei had been avoiding him for months now, going out of
his way even when they had to be together to put as much distance between
them as possible. He couldn't get him alone to talk to him, to explain his
mistake. He sighed heavily, realizing now that he would never get the
chance. Hiei had never run from anything in his life before that incident
and Hiei had made it very plain that he would never forgive him for it.

	He had hoped that Hiei would understand why he had put himself
between him and Yomi, had hoped so hard to see Hiei sitting by him when he
woke up, so weak. Yukina had told him that he had almost died, that Hiei
had come to get her and taken her into the Makai to heal him. Yet Hiei
stayed away, still. He rubbed at his forehead and the aching tingle behind
it. Something else had happened, he had a vague recollection of something,
a dream or a memory? He wasn't sure. But it had been Hiei's voice pleading
with him not to leave him alone. His lips turned in a little, bitter smile.
Wishful thinking. It had to be. Hiei was lost to him.

	His youko self offered a variety of images of pretty girls...and
boys... with the mischievous suggestion of *if we must be human now, let's
play with humans...*

	He ignored it. He didn't want them. He wanted Hiei.

* * *

	Hiei leaned back against the trunk of the tree he was standing in
and watched Kurama's slow advance toward him with narrowed eyes. The wind
that sent the bright autumn leaves dancing caught at Kurama's hair and sent
it swirling around his head like bloody flames. Hiei plucked a leaf as red
as Kurama's hair off a near branch and twirled it between his fingers.

	*You scared me Kurama. Twice. I should kill you for that.*

	He let the leaf go and watched it's slow to drift down to join it's
brothers on the path Kurama was following. He followed it down and took a
steadying breath as Kurama stopped dead in his tracks, just staring at him.
He stalked to him, stopped when they were toe to toe. Kurama stood as if
frozen. He closed his eyes and steeled himself, then slid his arms around
Kurama's waist and gave him a fierce hug.

	Kurama couldn't believe it when Hiei appeared on the path before
him. He blinked twice, just to make sure he wasn't seeing a projection of
his own mind, but Hiei was there and solid and advancing on him with a
scowl that would have sent anything sane running. He thought about doing
just that, uncertain of Hiei's temper and still in no shape to defend
himself if Hiei had decided to take his anger out on his hide. But then
again, he didn't stand a chance at outrunning him either, so he just stood
his ground and waited. He tensed, ready to move, as Hiei came to a stop
right before him. Arms slithered around his waist and Hiei leaned his
forehead against his chest as he wrapped him in a strong hug. Kurama was so
shocked that only the support of Hiei's arms kept him from falling over
backwards.

	He cautiously put his hands on Hiei's shoulders, afraid that he
would draw away. Hiei didn't move so he slid his arms around his shoulders
and drew him closer. Hiei allowed it, turned the left side of his head so
it was pressed against his sternum. They stood that way for a few minutes
as Kurama worked on getting his voice to work.

	It seemed an eternity that Hiei waited. *He's going to laugh, or
say something sarcastic and push me away.*

	Hands closed on his shoulders and he steeled himself, opened his
eyes wide as they went around his shoulders and pulled him in tighter. The
beat of Kurama's heart had sped up under his ear and he wondered if that
was a good or bad sign.

	Finally Kurama got it out, rough and choked with emotion.

	"Oh, Gods, Hiei. I thought I had lost you."

	Hiei didn't answer, but the arms tightened even more, causing his
ribs to groan in protest. Kurama told them firmly to shut up. Then he took
a step back as he was released, his balance upset a bit. Hiei was walking
away from him. Kurama waited for him to blur out of sight knowing how hard
it was for Hiei to show any sign of emotion and more than happy to accept
this peace offering for the moment. Hiei turned his head and looked back at
him with an exasperated expression on his face and he could swear he
heard...::Well, come on!::...whisper softly in his head.

	Kurama shook his head slightly as he closed the distance between
them with a few long strides then settled back into his walking pace, Hiei
matching his stride and staying like a silent shadow by his side. He must
be imagining things. Hiei never used his mental voice. There was too much
of a danger of the recipient being able to run back up the contact and
sneak into the speakers mind. Kurama used his own when he could only with
Hiei, hoping that perhaps the young youkai WOULD decide to sneak in and see
what was lurking about.

	Hiei glanced over and up at Kurama out of the corner of his eye as
they walked together. He had been watching the humans. Not only the ones in
the group that he considered His, but also others. He knew now why Kurama
was so entranced by them. They played very complex games with each other,
full of unspoken rules that only they seemed to know.  He had considered
many times just washing his hands in disgust with the whole lot of them,
especially after they would do something so weird and stupid in their
interactions that he just couldn't puzzle it out.

	But Kurama was part human now so he had continued to observe them,
hoping to figure out what to do. And he had discovered a few things. One of
them was that when two people liked each other, they held each others
hands. Kurama had accepted his hug, but that could have just been from
friendship. Human friends hugged sometimes. Would Kurama accept this? Did
he really want to make the offer? Again the anxiety, the trill of fear of
what he had decided to do ran through him. But he was decided. And
determined.

	Kurama blinked in shock as a small but strong hand slipped into his
own. He glanced sideways and down and made himself take the next step, and
the next as he tried to read the smaller youkai next to him. Hiei had his
eyes down, focused on the leaves that covered the path they walked. Was
that a blush that colored his cheeks? The hand started to withdraw so he
grabbed it tightly, determined to keep it as he wormed his fingers between
Hiei's and entwined them, making a trap that Hiei would have to fight to
get them free. Hiei was blushing! He didn't look up, but his fingers didn't
attempt to wiggle free. Kurama rubbed his thumb along the side of Hiei's
hand and was delighted when Hiei copied the gesture. Then he gave himself a
mental shake and reminded himself not to be stupid. He knew that there was
nothing more to it than an innocent gesture of friendship. And he was more
than happy with that at the moment.

	He let go of Hiei's hand with a gentle squeeze as they reached the
place he was heading for. Hiei let him pass, then followed as Kurama turned
off the path and onto an rarely used, overgrown track. There was only room
in the winding way through the tall bamboo stalks for one at time. Finally
the path opened into a secluded glade that surrounded a small pool. Kurama
had found this place a long time ago and visited it whenever he could. It
held a feeling of tranquility for him, a place of beauty that needed no
improvement from his power. He lowered himself onto the grass and stretched
out his legs, leaning back slightly using his hands for support. Hiei stood
by him for a moment, then settled next to him. Kurama swallowed hard. He
had settled very close. He pushed that awareness to the side and closed his
eyes and tipped his head back, focusing on the warmth of the sunlight on
his face instead. It happened all at once. There was the rustle of fabric.
Weight settled on his thighs, hands closed on his shoulders, lips brushed
his own. He startled, eyes flying open to connect with Hiei's, only inches
from his own.

	Hiei tensed even more and felt something heavy and painful grab his
chest as he mis-interpreted what he saw in Kurama's expression, in his eyes.

	*I should have known better!* he snarled to himself and gathered
himself, ready to run away again, this time forever.

	Kurama felt the shift of weight as he registered the panic in
Hiei's eyes.

	::I should have known better!::

	It was a snarled, forlorn little thought. Hiei's thought. He WAS
hearing Hiei on and off!

	"Oh, no you don't! Not this time, my sexy little youkai!" he
growled back as he wrapped his arms around Hiei, pulling him down against
his chest as he fell backwards onto the grass and rolled over on top of him
to keep him pinned.

	Hiei had been called a lot of things in his short life so far, but
never sexy. It shocked him enough that he didn't fight back as Kurama
rolled over on him. He gave a little exhaled huff of surprise as Kurama
grinned down at him.

	"Sexy?" It was a soft question, more of a statement, barely audible
and full disbelief.

	"Hiei, sometimes you can be so stupid."

	Hiei started a snarled insult back even though the amusement in
Kurama's face and voice took away the hardness implied in his words. Kurama
halted it by covering his mouth, his tongue darting in to tease his own
lightly.  Hiei found himself kissing back, his body remembering a lesson
his mind didn't. Kurama broke it, letting them both breathe for a moment.
Kurama nipped and sucked on his bottom lip, then he was back, this kiss
deep and pulling at his soul. The fire in his blood stirred along with
something else.

	*It's happening!* Panic hit him and he froze, trapped between his
fear and his desire to show Kurama just how much he liked him.

	This was something else he had figured out about humans. When they
loved each other a lot, they used sex to show just how much. He loved
Kurama that much. And he thought he had convinced himself that he could do
this.

	Kurama frowned as Hiei went stiff under him, his mouth suddenly
unresponsive to his kiss. Then he knew what was wrong and broke off with a
sigh. He pulled his hands out from under Hiei's back and pushed himself up
a little so Hiei wouldn't feel so trapped. Then he caught Hiei's troubled
eyes with his own.

	"Hiei, that time in the water...I made a mistake. A stupid mistake.
I wasn't thinking. The water made it happen too fast. And you weren't
ready. Let me try again?" There was a pleading undertone there wrapped
around a deeper sound, a throb of barely repressed desire that surprised
them both.

	He hadn't been ready? It could be different? A ripple of relief
went through him. He'd let Kurama try again. But this time better be
different! He wiggled his arms up and took a hold of those sidelocks and
pulled Kurama back down, his kiss giving the youko permission to try again.

to be continued...