-- Kyone: Ah . . . Christmas break. Finally, a chance to rest. Fu: Yes, now you have free time to write! Kyone: But I just wrote another part of The Otaku series. Isn't that good enough? Hikaru: You said you wouldn't write a Rayearth story with us until you finish Magic Knight Ranma. Umi: So we don't care one bit if you write any The Otaku stories. Kyone: Well, what about a story where the luckless Otaku visits you? Hikaru, Umi & Fu: NO!!!!!! Umi: If you do that . . . well, you know what we'll do to you. Kyone: Okay! Okay! I won't do it! Hikaru: That's good, Kyone-chan. Kyone: What? *Please, Kami-sama, please! They've have to forget!* Fu: You still need to write the next part of Magic Knight Ranma. Kyone: *Damn. They didn't forget.* Oh, all right. I guess I will. Umi: You don't sound so enthusiastic, Kyone-chan. I guess I better give you some encouragement! Kyone (fearfully): Wait! No! You don't need to encourage me! Umi: Oh, yes we do! ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Magic Knight Unlimited Press Proudly Presents: Magic Knight Ranma: Part 3 Mysterious Swordsman Ferio! Ranma And Hot Water Don't Mix! By Magic Knight Kyone Ranma 1/2 written by Rumiko Takahashi Magic Knight Rayearth written by CLAMP All situations in this story are my fault. If you like it, great! If you hate it, well...you DO have my e-mail address...! KEY <....> = Description [....] = Sound Effect *....* = Thought ('Real World' Actions) ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Narrator: Here is the story, so far. Saotome Ranma, Kuonji Ukyou, and Tendo Akane were magically transported to Cepherio by Emeraude-hime. For some reason, Ranma thinks he's a girl. Once there, they met Guru Cleff and found out they were the legendary Magic Knights. Forced to flee when they were attacked by Alcione, the three Magic Knights went to the Forest of Silence, where they met the Master Creator Pressia, and Mokona, a furry white rabbit with a red jewel between its eyes. Pressia loaned them weapons since magic does not work in the Forest of Silence. They were to use these weapons to help get the Legendary Mineral Escudo at the Magic Spring Eterna, so Pressia could forge their real weapons. After receiving their weapons, the three knights defeated a mud monster. The three knights took Mokona, and left Pressia, in search of the Magic Spring . . . . Ukyou: Ranma! Look out! Ranma-chan: I see it! Ranma-chan : Yatta! Akane: Mokona! You aren't purposely leading us to the monsters, are you? Mokona: Pu, Puu! Pu! Ranma-chan: Don't worry, Akane, I'm sure Mokona doesn't mean to. Ukyou: I think we should be heading on. Who knows if there are more of that thing around here. Ranma & Akane: Right! Ranma-chan: With all the monsters we've run into so far, you'd better take out your weapons. Ukyou : I don't know why the whole bandoleer went into that jewel. It's not like wearing it inhibits me . . . . You're probably right. Akane: Yeah, you're right. But I still think Mokona's leading us into the monsters! Ukyou: Well, do you know anyone else who can lead us to that spring? Akane: Um . . . no. Ukyou: Then it doesn't really matter, does it? Akane: I guess not. BUT IT'S STILL MOKONA'S FAULT! Ranma-chan: If you two are ready, I could use some help here! Ukyou: Let's go! Akane: Yeah! Ukyou: Ranma! Help! Ranma: *How can I get them? I'm not sure I can take the monster down without hurting Akane-chan or Ucchan!* Ranma-chan: Who-who are you? Young Man: I'm Ferio. And who might you ladies be? Ranma-chan: I'm Saotome Ranma! (&KYONE-SAN! THAT WAS UNCALLED FOR!&) (What are you talking about, Umi-chan?) (&You said we have bad taste!&) (No I didn't!) (&You implied it! Die!!&) ([CRUNCH] ARGH!!) (&Now, get back to writing! And don't do it again!) ([Groan] All right, Umi-chan.) Ukyou: I'm Kuonji Ukyou. Akane: And I'm Tendo Akane. Gees, you'd think Ranma was some girl out of one of those sappy shojo manga, the way she's acting. Ferio: *I never knew girls acted like that Ranma.* You know, young women like you shouldn't be wandering around the Forest of Silence alone. With all the monsters here, you might get hurt! Akane : Are you saying we can't take care of ourselves!? Akane : DO I LOOK DEFENCELESS TO YOU!?!?!? Ferio: NO! No, you can defend yourself just fine! I didn't mean anything by that! *Oh, God, please don't let her come after me with that thing!* Ukyou: Calm down, Akane. The way you're acting, you'd think you were engaged to the guy! Ranma-chan: If this is the way she'd act to her fiancee, I'd sure hate to be the guy! Ferio : Excuse me . . . . Akane: But you ARE my fiancee! Ferio: Excuse me. Ranma-chan: [sigh] I thought you were over that joke. I'm a girl, I can't be your fiancee! Ferio : Excuse me! Akane & Ukyou: YOU'RE NOT A GIRL! Ranma-chan: Oh, then why do I have a girls body, huh? Ferio : EXCUSE ME!!! Ranma, Akane & Ukyou: WHAT!!! Ferio: Are you three done yet? *Where the hell do they get the idea that that red-head could be a guy?* Ukyou: Umm . . . yeah, I think we are. Ferio: Good. Now you three seem to know where you're going. I was hunting here, and I kinda got lost. If you three would lead me, I'll help you out with the monsters here, for an additional price. Ranma-chan: But I'm afraid we don't have any money . . . . Ferio: Don't worry. I'll gladly take food. I haven't had a decent meal in days. Ranma-chan: But we don't-- Mokona: Pu! Pu, pu! Akane: Amazing! I'm beginning to see why Cleff wanted us to take Mokona along! Ranma-chan : You're so cool, Mokona! Ukyou : You're right. He is acting more like a pseudo-girl . . . . [Burp!] Ferio: So, where to? Ranma-chan: What's wrong? Ukyou: How do we know we can trust him? He could be another of Zagato's minions. Akane: Besides, we're doing fine on our own. We don't need him! Ranma-chan: Okay, if you two say so . . . . Akane: We've been doing fine without you, so I don't think we need your help. Ferio: It didn't seem like that back when you were caught by that one monster! Akane: It caught us off guard! Besides, I would have taken care of it, if you hadn't interfered! Ferio: Yeah, sure you would! Akane : WHY YOU--! Ukyou: Don't worry about her, she's always like this. Besides, you're story has to be false. With all the monsters here in the forest, no man would hunt in it. Ferio: Hah! So you caught on to my story. I'm really a wandering swordsman who got lost in the forest while traveling. You're a smart one to catch on to something like that! Ukyou: That still doesn't change the fact that we have no idea why you really are here. You've given us no reason to trust you, so we can't really believe what you say. Well, we must be going! Bye! Ukyou: Lets pick up the pace. Maybe we'll loose him in the woods. Akane & Ranma: Un! Akane: [pant, pant] I think [pant] we finally [pant] lost him! Ferio : What are you three doing, playing Hide and Seek? [Thunk! Thud] Akane: Don't DO THAT! Ukyou: It's kinda getting dark, we better stop for the night. Akane: But where are we going to stay? Ukyou : How does Mokona do that? Ranma-chan: This is so kawaii!!! I love it! Akane: Too . . . much . . . sugar! Must . . . flee! Ukyou: Come on Akane, it's not that bad. Okay, you're right. It is that bad! (&HEY, KYONE-CHAN!!&) (Um, what now, Umi-chan? Why are you girls glowing?) (&You remember what I said about our tastes?&) (NO! Please! I didn't mean a thing!) (&To bad! In the name of Rayearth, we will punish you!) ([Crunch!][WAM!!][KA-BOOM!!!]) (&And remember, next time, it'll be worse!&) Ranma-chan: I think I'll take this out and give it to Ferio. He's gotta be hungry after following after us! Ukyou: Fine, fine-- How about I take it out to him? You're too trusting, you might invite him in. *Besides, it'll give me a chance to get outta this place. And if he came in here, he'd die from the shock. Who knows, we might need him later!* Ranma-chan: All right! Akane: *Damn. Now I don't have an excuse . . . .* Ukyou: Here, Ferio. Have some food. Ferio: Ukyou. Ferio: Sit down. I could use some company while I eat. Especially from a cute girl like you. Akane: Yeah? Ukyou: You've noticed, of course, how Mokona can make whatever food we need. Akane: So? Ukyou: How about we get it to make us some HOT tea. Akane: Why do we need . . . OH! I get it! Mokona! Mokona: Pu! Pu! Akane: Can you make us some hot tea, Mokona? Mokona: Pu! Pu, pu! Akane: Ranma, would you like some tea? Ranma-chan: Sure! I'd love some tea! Akane: Well, here you go! Ranma: Wha-what happened? Aghh!!!!!! Ukyou: He seems to be normal! Ranma: What did ya do? You've turned me into a guy! Akane & Ukyou: YOU REALLY ARE A GUY!! Ranma: I can't be! You must have cursed me! I mean, I knew you wanted me as your fiancee but this is going a bit too far! Akane: But you gotta believe us! Ranma: NO! Turn me back! Please, if you're really my friends, turn me back! Ukyou: All right, Ranma. We'll turn you back, for now. Mokona! Mokona: Pu! Pu? Ukyou: Please, make me a glass of cold water. Mokona: Pu! Pu, pu! Ranma-chan: Thank you, Ukyou. [Yawn] I think I'll [Yawn] go to bed now. Akane: You know, this is beginning to remind me of something that happened to him before. Ukyou: What? Ranma's acted like this before? Akane: Yeah, he sure has. One time, he was hit in the back of the head . . . NOT BY ME! . . . and started acting like this. Just like this, acting like all of Ranma's notions on how women are supposed to act. We tried the hot water thing back then, too. It didn't work. Ukyou: Then how'd you get him back to normal? Akane: We managed to repeat the circumstances of the accident, which got him back to normal. Ukyou: So, you're saying all we have to do, is hit him on the back of the head. Akane: Not just the back of the head, but the exact same spot. And since we don't know which spot that is . . . Ukyou: We're gonna have to pound him a lot? Akane: Un. But I'm feeling to tired to do it tonight. I think I'll go to bed . . . . Ukyou: Yeah, and we gotta get up early tomorrow, anyway. Oyasumi, Akane. Akane: Oyasumi. Akane: Now, Mokona, you better not lead us to any more monsters today! Mokona: Pu! Pu! (*Lucky guy, isn't he, boss?*) (Hey, where'd you come from, you hentai?) (*Oh, no where in particular, just thought I'd annoy ya, boss.*) (Hey, Umi, ya wanna get that perv who got ya the other day?) (&That's him!?!? DIE!!!!&) (*ARGH!!!!! I'll get ya for that, boss.*) ([CRUNCH]*AIEEE*) (Heh. Yeah, right.) Akane: MOKONA!!!!! Mokona: Pu! Pu! Akane: Let me at it! All I wanna do is kill the thing! Ukyou: NO! I don't think Mokona purposely lead us into the monsters.> Akane: That may be true, but at least let me maim it! Ukyou: NO! No maimings! Akane: Aww . . . Ya got lucky, this time, Mokona. Ranma-chan: Shame on you, Akane. Trying to hurt a poor defenseless . . . um . . . rabbit, I guess . . . . You big bully! Ukyou: Hey, enjoy getting a taste of you're own medicine? Akane: SHUT UP, UKYOU!! Ferio: Ladies, now's not the time to be fighting! Ranma, Akane and Ukyou: Ferio! DON'T DO THAT!!! Ferio: All right! Just please don't beat me like that again. Anyway, as I was about to say before I was INTERRUPTED, it looks like we have a common problem. Akane: Oh, thank you! We hadn't noticed! NOW TELL US SOMETHING WE DON'T KNOW, WHY DON'T YA? Ferio: Calm down! Please, lets discus this rationally. Ukyou: Well, from the way those monsters are acting, I'd say we know the source of all the monsters around here. That big rock! Ranma-chan: So what do we need to do? Destroy it? Ukyou: That would be my guess. The problem is, to get close enough, someone will have to distract the monsters. Akane: Distract THEM!? You gotta be kidding! That would be suicide! Ukyou: You gotta better idea? Akane: Well . . . no . . . . Ukyou: That's what I thought. Ferio: I'll distract them! Ranma-chan: No! Akane and I will. If we can't take care of a simple task like this, there is no way we can save Emeraude-hime! Ferio: What did you say?!? Ranma-chan: I said that-MPH!!! Ukyou : We don't know if we can trust him yet! Ferio: So! That's it! You're Magic Knights! Akane: How'd you know? Ferio: A group of three women trying to save Emeraude-hime? Who else could you be? All right, if you two are going to take care of the monster, I'll help Ukyou. Ukyou: But we don't even know if we can trust you! You haven't even told us who you really are. Ferio: All right. I'll tell you. I was a performer in a circus. We were doing a performance for Emeraude-hime. While we were there, I decided to wander around the castle . . . . -=-=- Ferio: *These are lovely! I wonder how much they're worth . . . EH!?!?* Emeraude-hime: No, that's all right. He wasn't stealing those. I gave them to him. Please, let him go. -=-=- Ferio: Ever since then, I've been thankful to Emeraude-hime. So, I got lost here in the forest while trying to find the High Priest Zagato and free her! Ferio: Nah! Did you believe me? I was kidding! Akane: Moh! You're unbelievable! Ranma: Come on, Akane! Let's take care of those monsters! Akane: Right! Ukyou: You were telling the truth that time, weren't you? Ferio: Well . . . maybe. Hurry up! We better be ready to take care of that rock! Ukyou: Right! Ferio: Let's take care of that rock! Ukyou: Right! Ferio: Ukyou! Stop! The rock's somehow got a hold of me! You'll have to destroy it from there! Ukyou: But it's too far! I'll never be able to hit it from here! Ferio: Just do it! Please! Ranma-chan: Can't . . . stop . . . now! Too . . . many . . . monsters! Akane: Can't . . . stop . . . now! Can't . . . let . . . that . . . JERK . . . outdo . . . me! (*Let me guess, boss. Dr. Strange. Right?*) (I thought I got rid of you! You want me to call Umi again?) (*NO!!!!! I'll be quiet, boss. I promise! Just don't let her get me!*) (That's better.) Ferio: Ukyou! Hurry up! The rock's turning me into something! Ukyou: That's it! The rock turns normal creatures into monsters! That's why there are so many around here! Ferio: If you don't hurry up, I'LL be one of those monsters! Ukyou: Oh. Oh, yeah. Ukyou: It's so far! I'm good, but I can't hit anything at that distance! Ferio: Ukyou! BELIEVE IN YOURSELF! If you believe in yourself, you can do any thing in Cepherio. Just believe in yourself! Ukyou: All right! Here I go! Ukyou: Ferio! Ferio: And you think you can save Cepherio if you can't even smash a pebble like that! Ukyou: FERIO NO BAKA! Ranma-chan: I guess this is the end . . . . Akane: Yeah, I guess so. It's been nice knowing you, Ranma. Ranma-chan: You, too. Ranma-chan: They did it! Akane: Yeah, they did! -=-=- Ferio: Well, this is where our paths diverge! Ranma-chan: I thought you'd go with us. Ferio: No, I have things I need to do, myself. Ukyou. Ukyou: What? Ferio: Here, take this. Ferio: Take this. It has the ability to grant wishes. You use it, when you need to. Ukyou: Arigato! Akane: Hey, why are you giving her something and not us! Ferio: Because Ukyou loves me and you two don't! Ja na! Akane: Ukyou, I thought you loved Ranma! Ukyou: I do! Akane: But what about Ferio? Ukyou: I-I don't know what you're talking about! Akane: Sure you don't. Ranma-chan: Akane! Stop picking on Ucchan! She can like whoever she wants! -=-=- Inova: Zagato-sama! The Forest of Silence has appeared in the mirror! What does this mean? Zagato: It appears I may have underestimated the Magic Knights. It will not happen again. -- Coming Up Next The girls fight more monsters! Is Ranma's magic enough? Can we save this village before the monsters destroy it? Oh, no! Alcione is back! What will we do? Just WHAT are Akane and Ukyou DOING to Ranma? All in the next episode of Magic Knight Ranma! -- So, how did you like how I handled Ranma's reaction to water? Zen told me that if the Revenge fics come around again, he doesn't expect me to survive, and I'm inclined to believe him, especially with what the girls will be doing to Ranma in the next part. I guess all you people who like seeing Ranma get beat silly will be happy! :) Well, I promise you the next part wont take so long, or Zen will join the Magic Knights in beating me! (Hey, Kyone-chan! We heard that!) Uh-oh! [CRUNCH][WHAM] ITTE!!!!!!!!!