I have not read many fanfictions out there, and
if this type of story already exists "out there"
PLEASE let me know and I'll stop writing it.

thanks.


**********************************************
Coff-EZ Part 1:  The Other White Meat
**********************************************

Ryoga wandered aimlessly down the street, as usual
he had no idea where he was or how he got there.
He looked up into the sun, wiped his brow (under the
bandana) and looked at shop signs on the street he
was walking on.  He looked up at a sign he recognized and
smiled.  The sign read "Coff-EZ: Your One Stop Coffee Shoppe"

Ryoga sighed, "Its been awhile...."

Ryoga opened the door to Coff-EZ and walked inside.  The
place had not changed much since the last time he was
here.  Deedlit and Arshes Nei were sitting at a corner
table discussing the finer points of Elven etiquette.  Ranma and
Joe Higashi were arm wrestling at one table as Shinobu and
A-Ko arm wrestled at another.  Son-Goku was asleep in his chair
at his usual spot while subconsiously shooting off small balls 
of ki energy (much to the consternation of those around him). 
Ryoga recognized some of the other patrons of Coff-EZ, but not too
many, after all, it has been a quite a long time since he's been
back here.  

"Hibiki! Is that you?"  

Ryoga turned towards the booth along east wall and walked towards
Mitamoro, Coff-EZ's owner and bartender.  

Ryoga smiled at young, slightly overweight man and said,
"Mitamoro-san, how are you?  Its been a long time!" 

'Doing fine, Ryoga, doing fine...  Say, I haven't seen you
since the inception party. I know a big Anime star like you is
busy, but couldn't you find the time to drop in once in a while?"

Ryoga blushed. "Well to be honest..."

Mitamoro stopped him with a sigh, "I know, I know, you couldn't
find your way here, right?"

Ryoga gave Mitamoro a sheepish grin.  

"So Hibiki, what have you been doing since Ranma 1/2 ended? Are
fanfics keeping you busy?" 

Ryoga shrugged. "I've been getting a few side roles, nothing 
major."

"I see.  By the way, March of Pigs. Hell of a job Ryoga, good
work." 

Ryoga smiled at the compliment. "Heh. I had a good author."

"That you did Hibiki, that you did.", Mitamoro agreed.

"Speaking of authors, I don't see any in here... what's up?"

Coff-EZ was a place where authors, creators, and producers 
sometimes met to discuss possible story lines with Anime/Manga
characters.

Mitamoro sighed.  "Do you remember Palace Rey?"

Ryoga blushed.  He remember Mr. Rey.  He had written
a fanfic lemon series that was a Ranma 1/2 and The
Simpsons cross-over. (Auth. note: use your imagination)

"What happened?" 

"Well, a few months back Palace came in and was discussing
an idea with Ranma about his 'fic.  Apparently, Ranma didn't
like what Palace was planning so he and some the King of Fighters
beat the crap out of him. The authors are now boycotting Coff-EZ
until Ranma appologizes and I hire some security."

"Oh. I see..."  

"Don't worry about it Hibiki, business hasn't slowed done
too much.  By the way, what can I get you to drink?"  

"Uh, I'll have an ice coffee."

As Mitamoro went to fix Ryoga's drink, Terry Bogard walked up
to the booth.  

"Hey Mitamoro! How's it going?"

Mitamoro turned around. "Terry! what can I get you?"

"The usual. A Jack and Coke.  And I have a favor to ask."

"Sure thing Terry, what do you need?" Mitamoro asked as
he gave Ryoga his ice coffee.  

"Well, I was wondering if we could use Coff-EZ to hold
Andy's bachelor party."

Mitamoro looked suprised. "What! Andy and Mai are getting 
married! That's great!"

"Yep, " Terry answered, "The Wedding is next month. You're
invited, of course." 
  
"I'll be there! And of course you can use Coff-EZ for the party!"  

"Great. I'll contact you later with the details."

At this time, a young woman with two braids tied up as buns on
either side of her head who was standing at the back of the room 
was trying get Mitamoro's attention.  Mitamoro quickly nodded in her
direction and proceeded to give Terry his drink.

The woman walked up to bar and said, "Mita-chan, get me
a glass of ice tea please?"  

Mitamoro smiled. "Sure thing. By the way, Terry, there's
a friend of mine I'd like you to meet."

Mitamoro held his hand towards the young woman.

"Terry Bogard, meet Chun Li.  Chun Li, meet Terry Bogard."

And with that Mitamoro walked back over towards Ryoga.

"Say Ryoga, why don't you stay in one of my  guest rooms
for a couple of days.  Rumiko is throwing an inception
party for her new series, and besides... Akari will
be there.  You can finally tell her how you feel about her."

Ryoga blushed (again).  "You don't think its too soon for
me to tell her?"

Mitamoro looked incredulous. "Hibiki!  You've liked her
since the Ranma 1/2 inception party, and don't try to
deny it!", Mitamoro said when he saw the look on his
face.

"Man, I though you were gonna die when you found out that
she was going to be your girl friend in the series."

"Well, I'll think about it..." 

Ryoga decided to change the subject.

"By the way, what is this new series about, I didn't know that
Rumiko had been working on something new."

"Ryoga, Ryoga, Ryoga, where have you been for the past month,
on another planet?!" 

"Well, actually....."

Mitamoro closed his eyes and sighed, "Never mind, I really
DON'T want to know.  Anyways, her new series is called Inu-Yasha.
I really don't have all the details, you should ask her yourself
at the party. Nice try at changing the subject too."

Ryoga gulped.  


Mitamoro continued, "You better act quick P-CHAN, unlike
you, Akari has been in here several times and she thinks
you're in love with Azusa."

Ryoga looked absolutely stunned. "A-Azusa?! As in Azusa Shiratori?!"

"Yep, the one and the same."  

"What ever gave her THAT idea???"

"Ryoga, I have never been married or 'involved' with anyone,
so, you are asking the WRONG person for advice
on a woman's state of mind."

Ryoga held his head in his hands. "What am I going to do?"


At this time Ranma walked up to the bar, rubbing his arm
as he walked.  

"Hi Mitamoro, hey Ryoga, haven't seen ya in here for a while!
If you were coming to our series-end party, you're a little
late."

Ryoga looked up. "Series-end?"

"Yep,  you were the only on not to show up... well, you
and Azusa."

As dense as Ryoga is, even he was able think things through
THIS time.  

"That explains alot."  

"It sure does.", Mitamoro agreed. 

"The question is, what are you gonna do about it?"

Mitamoro gave Ryoga an intense look.  Ryoga took a 
deep breath, looked Mitamoro straight in the eyes
and said, " I think I'll go home and think about it."

"Ryoga, you are going to stay in one of my guest
rooms until the inception party, and then you
will tell Akari how you feel, or I will!"

Ryoga, a look of horror growing on his face, 
said, " Y-You wouldn't!"

"Would you care to try me?"

Ryoga, defeated, siliently agreed.

"Good man!"

"About time Pig-Boy!" Ranma said with an amused grin on his face.

Before Ryoga could retort, Ranma turned to Mitamoro and asked,
"Hey, is Priss gonna sing at the inception party?"

Priss and the Replicants had sung at the Ranma 1/2 Inception
party and every one loved it. Well, almost every one.

Mitamoro shook his head sadly, "Nope.  Priss said she 
would not sing here anymore."

Both Ranma and Ryoga looked suprised at that.

"Why not?", Ranma asked.  He had worked with Priss in a couple
of fanfics and felt that the Knight Saber was a nice, if
somewhat aggressive person.  Kind of similar to himself.
Above all he knew that she LOVED to sing.  

"Well, a while back Tellez told her that her songs sounded
like 70's porno music.  She was SO mad!  She said that she
wouldn't sing here again until he apologized AND sang one
of her songs during a Karaoke night."

"Ouch! I'm suprised. That doesn't sound like Tellez, knowing
him, he would be trying to get her into bed." Ranma said
disgustedly.

Mitamoro chuckled at that. "Tellez isn't stupid.  Priss isn't
easy enough prey for someone like him."  

"Well, can't you get him to applogize?", Ranma demanded.
He liked to hear Priss sing and the opportunity did not come
often.  

Mitamoro looked uncomfortable, "Well, I might be able to get him
to apologize, IF I did him a certain favor... but getting him
to SING?  I doubt it."

Ranma was going to press Mitamoro further, but after taking a
good look at his face, decided not to.  Instead he asked, "So, who is gonna
provide enteratainment for the party?"

Mitamoro grinned and said "Well, I talked to Rumiko, and it
looks like DoCo will be singing that night."

Ranma looked up startled.  "When was this decided?"

"Oh, about a week ago. Akane didn't tell you?"

"Well, we're kinda not speaking to each other right now."

"And you the NERVE to make fun of my relationship problems?"
Ryoga yelled at Ranma.

"Hey, at least I don't get lost every time me and Akane 
go out on a date!" 

"And at least I know how to treat a woman better than you,
which is suprising considering you spend half your LIFE as
a female!"  

"Oh yeah, pig-boy?!"

"yeah!"

Mitamoro decided to tune them out and started cleaning out
some glasses, *some people never learn*

He sighed, turned around and saw Chun Li leading Terry out
of Coff-EZ.  They were walking arm-in-arm and talking like
old friends.  Chun Li turned around and winked at Mitamoro
before she and Terry exited the building.

"Well", Mitamoro said to himself, "At least SOMEONE has the
right idea."  He continued with his cleaning.


***********************************************************
End of Part one.  
***********************************************************


Well, this was my first attempt at creative writing.
(Although some of my former professors might disagree) 
Sorry, its kinda short. I can't write long stuff. Never could.

Lets see... the rights to the characters from Ranma 1/2 are 
owned by Rumiko Takahashi.  I do not know who owns the 
rights to any of the other characters I mentioned.  
I think Neo Geo owns Fatal Fury...  oh well.

C@C is welcome. (e-mail: anandr@earthlink.net) Let me
know if you hate it. I'll go back to being a lurker
for a few months :) 


March of the Pigs was written by Stefan "Twoflower" Gagne.
Its the best Ryoga fanfic around!

Special thanks go to Darren Steffler. The author of the
most Awesome fanfic I have ever read (Twisted Path).

Twisted Path led me to discover Hitomi Ichinohei and 
Bert Van Vliet; thanks to you guys, I haven't needed 
to buy a book in a LONG time. Bubblegum Zone, both versions,
are fantastic.