Wow... I scare myself sometimes. A look into the head of Hirose- why did he
do what he did? This doesn't fit anywhere in Bronze's timeline,
particularly, and his inclinations and obsessions are probably purely my
invention. W

WARNING- Look into the head of A CRAZY guy... yaoi stuffs, etc. Don't like
that kind of thing, don't read!!


Hirose: By Monica Shin


        What am I? I look at myself in the mirror, and see a highly
sucessful, married man, who should be happy. Looking deeper, I see a man who
has managed to get the worst revenge on a younger brother- no, he's not even
that to me- on Kouji. 

        Why? Why not? Because he wouldn't give in. Because he was an
ever-present sign of humiliation. Because I couldn't control him. Because...
he was not mine. He would never be mine.

        I watched him, though he did not know it. Watched him with eyes
begging him to see what I felt. He never noticed. I was there, mute and
alone, while he carried on with girl after girl, starting with Akihito's
girlfriend. 

        I consoled myself with the thought that he was just straight. No man
would ever interest him. I was married, and was successful. Maybe my father
never truly approved of me, but I was still the heir, and gifted in the Art.
So was he, but he never cared.

        I saw him wasting his life singing, becoming more and more popular,
and decadent. Did he even know of my watching, of my wanting, the forbidden
desire for him? No... and I was content to let him be far away, so that
sweet temptations may not become reality.

        But then, another is in his life. Not even a girl, as was said on
television, in the newspapers. It was another young man... he was in love
with a man. And my consolation, that he had no interest in any of his sex,
was swept away in my growing rage.

        How dare he! How did this nobody, this emotionally crippled boy,
managed to posess what I could not? In my anger, in my raging heart, a
decision. I would hurt him, hurt him and his little love, and get my revenge.

        And so, I did it. Violated that boy, made his body mine. Why? He was
not even the one I wanted... he was merely the way I could reach my
obsession. I could posess his love, and in a way, I could posess him.
Somehow, I could sense him, his presence. 

        That day, in a way, Kouji was mine. I posessed his heart, his soul,
and I broke it... destruction is the only way for anything that refuses to
be mine. I smile, and see myself- strong, proud. I had him, and had power
over him. No one can take that away from me.

---Finis---
Monica/Akira-chan- I always did think Hirose was a bit nutty...

-----
Monica Shin--- monica@pipeline.com- Fav. Anime/Manga-
CLAMP stuffs- RGV, TB, X, MKR, CCD, 20 Menso, CCSakura,
MBoy, GWing, Esca, S.Dunk, RKenshin, FY, YYH, EVA, Zetsuai,
Fav. Charas- Akira, Ashura-ou, Hiei, Hiiro, Kenshin, Subaru
Visit my homepage! http://www.pipeline.com/~monica/