Here she is.  I've finished exams and got the some of the bugs out of 
the works.  Right now all I want to do is sleep.  I've added a part 
II to possibly explain how I get to Fred.  PLEASE C&C it.  
(I still very new at this and need all the help I can get) 
<*Shooes away the nice men with the white "I'm O.K." Jacket*>.

Suggestion, have (?) kidnapp Zoner and Gryph.

Wheeee!  I finally finished something!



Stop that you miserable little hampster! films presents,
                        A
         Finally, something new production
                      from
             Paul 'Belgaren' Marquis


           Punishment and Paper Work.
       A revenge fic with a stupid title.


#insert disclaimer here,
#and here,
#and probably here too.

C&Cers: welcome, flamers: get bent. :P
[
Authors Notes:  Here's an insert fic.  Hope thoes of you who like them
like this one too.  Others: you should stop reading now unless you have
your air-sickness bags.  The ride is going to be tacky.. I mean bumpy.

Yet ANOTHER insert-fic.

  "Makoto was staring up at the empty space that was once the Eye of God.
Thinking back to what the prince of the Shadow Tribe had said about his people
being pulled here by the last activation of the Eye of God, Makoto prayed that
no poor soul would be torn from their home like both he and the Shadow Tribe
had... "
]

  It seemed like a good start.  It provided an existing method of
trans-dimentional-dislocation without having to create a silly act of god.
Good, now to start the fun part.

  "Um, excuse me." Said a male voice behind me.

  I slowly turned around in my chair expecting to see my study partner,
but to my surprise I saw a young man with armor and a sword with a blue orb
and...

  WAIT A SECOND!!!
  A SWORD WITH A BLUE GEM?!?!

  "Belgarion?"

  "That's correct."

  "But I thought that it was just anime characters doing that revenge fic
thing.  And isn't it over?"

  "Well, seeings how you haven't released that AMG fic you've been kicking
around, everyone felt that it be best if I handled your punishment.  And no,
they're not over, the animites were just lulling you poor souls into a
false sense of security so you would post your counter revenge fic and all
be destroyed in one foul swoop." <*breath*>

  <*blink*> "Revenge for what?"

  "Well, lets start with your David Eddings obsession, 'Belgaren'.  'Games of
Time' wasn't exactly subtle in it's nod to David, and you revealed the plot
of the story in the first six paragraphs.  One would have to be blind not to
see that Lumis is going to be the 'pawn' you mentioned in the opening."

  <*blink*>  (You're doing that owl thing again kid!)

  "But that last bit is totally untrue..  It was supposed to be misleading for
the reader.  Everyone knows I'm fairly predictable so I thought I could
fool them into a false sense of security,"  Things were starting to look down.

  "And you're VERY lucky that post you tried to make on that AMG story you're
writing never made it out.  Kami-sama had quite a time calming Skuld down.
She was <*ahum*> upset that you had her open an MS-Window(1),
releasing a virus into the Yggdrasill."

  "But I changed it so that it was Loki who accidentally opened it."

  "That's why she's not here.  She's willing to forgive you because only
Scott and Ranmachan know about the first plot."

  Mumbling, "Besides everything works out in the end."

  "You call that shallow description you made of poor Beldandy's relationship
'turning out fine'?" said a new _female_ voice.

  "Let me guess, Ce'Nedra?" Imintroublenowshesgoingtohurtme.

  "Correct.  Kami and Errand both thought it would be good penance for you
to work off your debt to Skuld by doing some work for her."
She pulled out a nice, black, flight jacket with green trim and threw it at
me.  "So here's your uniform."

  I flipped the jacket over and saw that there was writing on the back.  In big,
green letters.  Big, shifty-green letters that spelt 'RGO'.

  Something seemed amiss.  I couldn't quite put a finger on it but I knew
_Something_ was wrong.  "But isn't RGO the Relief _Goddess_ Office?" I felt
fairly safe, I mean Belgarion wasn't likely to change me into a female with
sorcery, he would have to make it permanent.  He wouldn't do that to me, he
wasn't that cruel, right?  And where would he get Jusenkyo water?  Still, I
started eyeing the door.

  Reaching into Eddingspace(tm) (You know, where Garion's clothes go when he
change into a wolf) Garion pulled out a bucket.

  "hehe.  Little chance of that being mop water, right?"  The door was looking
mighty tempting.

  "Try spring of drowned goddess"

  OK, the door it is.  I took off like a shot, but Garion must have been
expecting this as he merely said "Door".

{Insert perspective change}

  Paul's last coherent thought was "Door!?!", as he ran into said object.
Just before the lights went out he heard Ce'Nedra ask incredulously,
"Door!?!".  Garion merely shrugged.

***

  I woke up feeling a little weird.  Before regaining full contiousness I
decided that, if I was going to have really strange dreams, maybe I should
layoff rereading Oh! My God and Twisted Path until 3:30am.  That's funny,
my feet were warm.  They're never warm in the morning because they're usually
hanging off the bed.  So, either the bed was longer or I had better get back to
sleep and pray that this was all some fanfic induced dream.  I just wasn't
ready to handle being a girl.

  "Get up sleepyhead"

  Ce'Nedra?  Nah!coulntbe.

  "_I_ _SAID_ _GET_ _UP_"

  At the sound of that particular tone voice I decided maybe I had better
think about getting up.

  Things are going to be interesting allright.  I found myself 6 inches shorter
with long red hair and green eyes.  I looked like a cross between Ranma, Washu
and my sister!(2)

  After breakfast Belgarion started explaining what was going to happen.

  "Well, to avoid embarrassment I made sure you can resize your uniform like 
any other deity when you change back and forth.  <*Cue elbow shot from 
Ce'Nedra*> Ok, we made sure. Anyhow, you're going to start work at the 
'RGO' today."

  Cool!  Wish granting.  Maybe things aren't so bad.

  "You've been given the rank of Goddess Fourth Class Probationary Limited.
Basically no magic other than transportation and clothes changing.  Oh, and
don't
get your hopes up, here's where the punishment comes in.  You'll be doing all
the paperwork for the 'RGO' office until you're promoted.  Don't hold your
breath, you hardly qualified, and that was with the curse working for you."

  I've gone to hell.  I HATE DONING PAPERWORK.

  "By the way, the rank only counts when you're female.  If a demon catches you
when you're female, find a kettle and pray they don't clue in.  Oh, and we've
decided we're going to name you X'Nedra, just to keep with you being called
Belgaren when you're male."

  "But that's SOOO tacky, I'll be flame bait for sure!"

  "That's just too bad," Ce'Nedra responded smiling a little, "but look on the
bright side, after all that paperwork you'll be a better writer."

  "Well, it's time for you to leave for work.  You had better get going,
I hear Urd's replacement is a real stinge."  With that they both got up and
started to leave.

  "Wait, at least tell me my area of influence and travel medium."

  They looked at each other for a second and Ce'Nedra responded as Belgarion
left, "Goddess of Balance(3) and try the door".  With that she left.

  "Try the DOOR?".  Well only one way to find out.  I closed my eyes and
concentrated as I jumped right into the door.  <*Whack*>

  Ce'Nedra stuck her head back in.  "Or was it the doorWAY?"

  Having had enough of this I stepped through the doorway and into the RGO
office.  A desk off to the right was piled high with papers.  On it was a name
tag.  ' | X'Nedra  (C:4 L:P Ltd.) | '.  Why had I written those stories? Why?

END OF PART I (more below)

(1) MS-Windows.  It was just too good a joke to pass up.  Loki's child, the
Midguard Serpent, surrounds the world with it's tail in it's mouth.  It has
very little love for the Yggdrasill (one or two l's, both spellings are
correct.)  Sooo, if Yggdrasill is a computer than my story only goes to
backup the point that opening MS-Windows is bad for any computer.  Although
you aren't likely able to control reality with your PC (no matter what IBM
wants you to think :P )

(2) DO NOT START THIS DEBATE UP AGAIN!!!
Yes, it is my belief that your genetic makeup does have something to do with
the curse.  Otherwise you would become the person/thing that drowned mind and
body.  (Your brain IS part of your body)

(3) This is a joke too.  For Halloween I dressed up in some REALLY weird
clothing and painted my face with Beldandy's and Mara's markings in black.
I called that character the god of balance.  His job was to keep both sides
from breaking any of the accords.  I had photo ID and everything.
A couple of people even recognized the reference.


Part II

  It had been, I could only guess, 3 weeks since I had started at the RGO.
Loki had stopped by and offered to take me to my quarters.  I had been
male at the time so the buck of cold water landing on my head when I opened
the door to my new room was a bit distracting.

  Loki knew what I was up to.  He had caught me on an occasion or two trying to
slip away unnoticed.  It turned out that I could only be 'paged' when I was
female.  Paging being a recall that sends me straight to my boss' office.
So it had occurred to me that if I could get away, while male, I could elude
them long enough to get away.  It was on the latest occasion that something
strange happened.

  I ran into Loki on my way from my room.  He smirked a little and walked
towards me.

  "Ah, just the persons I wanted see.  I have something here for you to read."
He reached into his jacket and pulled out two short swords, "here, hold these."
He continued to pull out items, a sharp silver card with a big L on one side
and 'Property of WWWA' partly scratched out of the other, a thermos, and a
can of
Sprite (School and work won't carry Mt.'spew so I've come to rely on Sprite).

  I fumbled with the swords for a second and strapped them on, pocketed 
the thermos, the card and Sprite as he, finally, handed me the letter he 
wanted me to read and walked away.

        Belgaren,
          You may have used me in your fics, but you're being
        punished and I have bigger fish to fry.  So, just
        to get you into some more trouble I decided 
        to send you away.
        You're going to be drafted into the FDF.  Hope
        you like demons,

        Loki
        P.S.  You're standing on a plot hole!

And with that the plot hole gave way, sending me through time and space.  When
I landed a young man walked up to me, eyed me for a moment, and said, "Welcome
to Fred..."

End Part II

Something to add to char profile.  Most of the time I'm fashionably late.  
The rest of the time I'm just late.

Belgaren
...
Login: Kami
Password: *** [read: GOD]
"It's that whole male ego thing"  :)

("Hey PRIME!, you up to hacking the Yggdrasill?")