(But first the RL news.)
(I learned today that my paternal grandmother died yesterday.  It wasn't 
really much of a shock.  She'd been in decline for some time, hadn't 
recognized me for years and was in constant pain recently.  Still, I miss 
her.)
(When I was young, we were quite close.  Especially since my grandparents 
lived next door.  I remember going over to Grandpa and Grandma's house 
for treats, to play with my uncles and cousins, to watch TV when our set 
was broken (which was a lot) or just to hang out.  Grandma always hummed 
a tune that never quite came out right, and she couldn't remember the 
name of the song.)
(When my grandfather retired from running the bait shop, they moved into 
town, but I still saw them as often as possible.  Grandma always needed a 
"strong" young man to help move things.  But eventually Grandpa died, and 
Grandma began fading away.  She moved to a retirement village, and then 
to a nursing home when her health failed.  I saw her seldom, as I had a 
busy life, and with her memories gone, it was painful to talk to her.  
Now she's gone forever.)
(Rest in peace, Grandma.  This chapter's dedicated to you.)


	(Previously:  In an alternate universe where the Jyuusenkyo 
springs alter minds as well as bodies, Ranma's female form has her own 
personality, named "Ranko."  Ryouga fell in a pool that turns him into a 
nearly-identical boy named "Shinnosuke."  Last time, Genma prevented 
Ranko from kissing Shinnosuke, and an announcement was made of an 
upcoming visit.)

				TWILIGHT EXISTENCE
				by Scott K. Jamison
				(Takahashi disclaimer)
				    Chapter Ten

	"Shampoo!"
	"Um, Ranko, what has that got to do with anything?" 
	I pointed to the photograph.  "No, I mean her name is Shampoo.  I 
met her in China." 
	"Really?  What's she like?" asked Akane.
	"Well, she didn't speak Japanese, so I can't say I really know 
her.  She was winning some sort of martial arts tournament, and she got 
really mad when Father ate her prize.  So cute, violent, short-tempered; 
a lot like you actually."
	"I am not short-tempered!" snapped Akane. 
	"I don't know where this `princess' stuff comes from though," I 
said, hastily changing the subject.  "The village she was from is kind of 
dinky." 
	"Well, the Communists got rid of the Imperial system and all the 
nobility when they took over, so maybe it's a courtesy title." 
	Mr. Tendou nodded.  "Be that as it may, she and her entourage 
will arrive next week for a short stay.  Kasumi is working on the 
sleeping and dining arrangements."
	"I'll help her!" I said.  Being a good hostess was high on my 
list of things to learn, and Kasumi had become adept at dealing with 
unusual guests.  So I went off to her room.
	"The important thing here, Ranko, is flexibility.  While the 
letter tells us six people are arriving, it doesn't say who the other 
five are beyond Shampoo.  We don't know if they're male or female, what 
their relative social status is, or if they have any personal conflicts.  
So we need to plan for several different contingencies."
	"The guide we had said that it was an Amazon village, so they're 
probably mostly female."
	"Okay, Ranko, we'll proceed with that as our primary assumption, 
keeping `mostly male' as a possible contingency.  Now, do you remember 
anything else about their customs?"
	While we were doing that, Nabiki made financial arrangements, and 
Akane helped her father in physically preparing the dojo.  My father and 
Shinnosuke played go the whole time, the near-kiss forgotten for the 
moment.  Shinnosuke was progressing rapidly as a go player, having 
already learned not to let himself be distracted by Father. 
	Two days later, I got my first period.  Proof positive I really 
was a woman, not just a funny-shaped boy.  Ranma was really grossed out 
by the idea, and not at all thrilled by the, er, "precautions" he had to 
take in case he reverted to me while this was going on. 
	[Boy, am I grateful for really baggy trousers!] he wrote. 
	Meanwhile, Akane kept trying to cook.  Remember what I told her 
about just not being a good cook "yet"?  It was looking more and more 
like I was wrong.  She seemed constitutionally unable to follow a recipe, 
she invariably grabbed the wrong ingredients no matter how carefully I 
arranged for only the right ones to be in reach, and as for the 
eggs...let's just say Kasumi barred her from using the microwave for the 
foreseeable future. 
	And her temper didn't help any.  She got frustrated easily, and 
the more frustrated she was, the more mistakes she made.  There were only 
two saving graces to the situation.  One was that we had persuaded her to 
taste the food before serving it, so none of it got to harm anyone else.  
The other was that Ranma wasn't around to watch, so he couldn't upset her 
with his insults.
	Shinnosuke reluctantly turned into Ryouga, and the wanderer 
agreed to stick around long enough to greet our guests.  I think it was 
the picture of Shampoo that convinced him.
	There was a big running argument over whether Ranma or I should 
be among the greeting party.  Our fathers pointed out that Ranma, as the 
best martial artist associated with the dojo, should be present.  Akane 
countered that Shampoo might like seeing a familiar face, and besides, 
the arrival would be on one of my allotted days. 
	My last meeting with Shampoo hadn't been a very friendly one, so 
I wasn't too sure she'd be pleased to see me.  Maybe Akane had another 
motive...jealousy?  Nah.
	Ranma and I found we both had good arguments for either side, so 
it came down to a coin toss.  I would be at the initial meeting, and 
Ranma would appear at the martial arts demonstration the next day.  
	[Who wants to do all that scraping and bowing stuff anyways?] 
	At last, the big day came.  It was hot and sunny, and the gate to 
the dojo was open wide.  Kasumi, Nabiki and I were in formal kimonos, 
mine borrowed from Akane.  She and our fathers were wearing new gis 
decorated with the symbols of the Anything-Goes School.  Ryouga had to 
settle for a freshly-mended and laundered set of his travel clothes.  
	A charter bus pulled up.  The first one off was a thin 
nervous-looking man in black Chinese robes and sunglasses.  He scanned 
the area, then went back in.  
	He reappeared following an  incredibly short old woman in green 
robes.  Her white hair reached her ankles.  Despite the gnarled staff she 
used to support herself, she appeared quite spry and radiated a quiet 
power. 
	Next off were two girls of about ten or so.  Their faces looked 
identical, but one had blue hair and pink robes, while the other had pink 
hair and blue robes.  They looked like they were ready to bounce right 
into the dojo, but a stern look from the old woman settled them down.
	Shampoo herself was next, though I scarcely recognized her.  She 
was wearing bright red robes with golden dragons embroidered on them, and 
what looked like a queen's ransom in jewelry.  Her hair was done up in an 
elaborate style.  I had to wonder how she kept that long silk ribbon 
hovering around her shoulders without being visibly attached to anything. 
	In short, she looked like a Chinese goddess.  But the peevish 
expression on her face belied that divinity.  Shampoo moved a little 
awkwardly looking uncomfortable in her elaborate costume. 
	Just behind her was a tall man  in white robes, wearing thick 
glasses.  He leaned forward to say something to Shampoo, who backhanded 
him casually.  I'd been right the first time I saw her.  Violent. 
	The old woman entered first, followed by Shampoo, who was flanked 
on each side by the young girls.  The tall man followed just out of arm's 
reach, and the older man struggled in last, carrying a carved chair. 
	Shampoo was guided into this chair, which served as a throne.  
During all of this, we had maintained respectful postures.  The tall man 
took a place at her right, and the old woman at her left. 
	The tall man (or rather boy, for I could see now he was no older 
than Shampoo) spoke.  "The Princess Shampoo is pleased to grace you with 
her presence."  (She didn't look it.)  "The lady to her left  is Cologne, 
matriarch of Joketsuzoku.  I am Mousse, the Princess' translator.  Please 
do not look at me when addressing the Princess or receiving her answer.  
As a male, I am unworthy of notice." 
	That last statement startled me a bit.  The attitudes I'd 
inherited from Ranma made me somewhat deferential to men, and even Akane 
grudgingly acknowledged male authority in the person of her father.  But 
Amazons obviously did things differently.
	The other visitors had faded into the background.  Apparently 
they weren't worthy of introduction.
	Mousse said, "You may approach."
	Mr. Tendou strode forward and bowed.  He looked more dignified 
and calm than I'd ever seen him before. 
	"Greetings, Princess.  I am Souun Tendou, master of this dojo.  I 
welcome you most humbly."
	He indicated Father.  "This is my colleague, Genma Saotome.  
Together we are the masters of the Anything-Goes School of Martial Arts." 
	Mousse translated.  Shampoo did not look impressed. 
	Mr. Tendou motioned Akane forward.  "This is my daughter, Akane, 
heir to my school."  Akane looked very proud, and Shampoo seemed a little 
more interested in her. 
	"And these are my other daughters, Kasumi and Nabiki." 
	Shampoo glanced at them, then said something to Mousse. 
	"The Princess wishes to know who the man in the headband is." 
	Ryouga stepped forward.  "I am R--" A frown from Mousse reminded 
him to face Shampoo.  "Ryouga Hibiki, a wandering martial artist not 
presently of any school.  I am a guest of the Tendou family." 
	Shampoo looked at him as though he were a prize bull offered for 
sale.  Seemingly satisfied, she waved him back into position.  The old 
woman murmured and Mousse flinched.
	"We were given to understand there was another male warrior 
associated with this dojo."
	Father spoke.  "My son Ranma was...unable to attend this 
ceremony, but will be here tomorrow."  There was a hint of anger in his 
voice.  "This is my...daughter, Ranko--"
	Shampoo burst out laughing, and once again said something to 
Mousse.  He spoke back, and she gut-punched him.
	As fluently as possible given his pain, Mousse said, "The 
Princess remembers the, er...weak, stupid girl with the greedy panda." 
	"That's not fair!  My father was unable to control--"  I stopped 
and wanted to die.  Not only had I backtalked our guest, I'd implied 
Father's curse. 
	Mousse spoke to Shampoo, who replied, "Mousse lie!"  In Japanese. 
	"Shampoo Japanese not good, but she know `father' not mean 
`panda'!  All males out of room!  Now!"
	Unclear how to take this, Father and Mr. Tendou shifted nervously 
until the older man motioned them to follow him.  Ryouga followed, with a 
last glance at Shampoo. 
	<X'ian Pu!> protested Mousse.
	<Go, Mu Tsu> replied Shampoo, using one of the few Chinese words 
I'd managed to learn. 
	"Weak girl come here."
	"My name is Ranko."  But I came closer.
	"Lan Ko," she said, memorizing it.  "Your father, he fall in 
Jyuusenkyo?  Become panda?"
	"Yes."
	"You also go Jyuusenkyo, fall in?" 
	"Um...yes."
	"Why Lan Ko no say so in first place?"
	"Huh?" from several people.
	The old woman handed a book to Shampoo.
	"It law of Amazons.  See."  She opened the book.
	I looked at it.  It might as well have been in Sanskrit. 
	"I can't read Chinese, Shampoo."
	"Let me have a look," said Nabiki, who was suddenly at my elbow.  
"If a woman falls in Jyuusenkyo, all necessary aid shall be given her, 
even if an outsider, for a curse is a terrible burden." 
	"I didn't know you could read Chinese, Nabiki."
	"I can't.  But there's a Japanese translation on the facing 
page."
	"Great-Grandmother make special edition for trip!" said Shampoo.  
The old woman smiled a bit.  She looked a bit unnerving. 
	"Um, to tell the truth...a woman didn't fall into the spring.  A 
man did."
	"Man?"
	"Ranma," said Nabiki.  "Like to buy a picture?"  She brought 
several photos out of her sleeve.  I decided not to ask why she happened 
to be carrying them...
	"Shampoo... Princess," she said, a slight smile on her features, 
"she no pay for things."  Shampoo grabbed one of the photographs and 
examined it.  "Ranma handsome.  Really you?" she addressed me.
	"Yes, I'm afraid so."
	She muttered something I guessed was a curse.  "Then no good as 
husband."
	Akane stiffened.  "Hey!  Ranma can't help his curse!"
	"But Shampoo no need half husband.  Need man who is strong 
warrior all time."
	The old woman spoke.  "Do not be so quick to dismiss him, 
great-granddaughter.  In some ways, he may be the perfect husband for 
you."  There was something in her voice, even with the slight accent, 
that chilled me.  "But it remains to be seen if he can pass the test." 
	"Um, what test?"
	"Oh, not know?  In order to marry Shampoo, outsider man must 
defeat Shampoo in combat!"
	Akane winced.  It was way too close to the "beat Akane to date 
her" gauntlet she'd had to go through before Ranma showed up.
	"Wait a minute!  Ranma's engaged to me!"
	"Oh?  Aka-ne like half-husband?"
	I thought I heard Cologne mutter something like, "How 
unfortunate...for Akane."
	With that, our audience was ended.

TO BE CONTINUED

Next time, more fun with Amazon laws!


SKJAM!
In Memoriam, Mildred Grace Jamison, 1906-1997