Subject: [Zetsuai/Bronze] Ramblings
From: Monica/Akira-chan
Date: 1/29/1997, 6:16 PM
To: fanfic@fanfic.com

Someone threatened to write a Zetsuai/Bronze 'fic- well, here's a (bad) fic 
before her's comes out... Warning- nothing explicit, but obviously yaoi in 
nature... oh yeah, and there is absolutely no plot whatsoever ^_^


Ramblings: By Monica Shin

        Why do you chase me, with such fire in your eyes? You have your 
groupies, women who would die to be with you, to sleep with you. So why do 
you resist all the harsh words, the blows I land on your face, your body, 
and keep following me? 

        I don't need you... I don't need your love. I don't believe in love, 
not anymore. Ever since She killed him... and showed me what worth love 
really had for both of them. I will protect my younger sibs, to shield them 
from what I know, but I know the true worth of such love as in your eyes.

        Then why? You know that what you feel for me is only lust... strange 
as it is... I know you like women, not men, so why chase after me? You could 
have anyone you want- don't go after me, with that lust in your eyes, that 
breaks down all of my barriers, invites you in...

        You're insane, and I'm insane for accepting you. You... how could 
you do such a thing, to me, and then to her? I can at least understand why 
you even tried to do what you did to me- Passion out of control... Lightning 
flashing, pain, violence. I resist, and you hold me down, and shield me from 
the glass flying at us... kiss me, bind me, and then accept all of me, with 
your lips, with your touch... And then, miraculously, before all my walls 
are down, you stop- you hear my cries, at myself, at Her, and him, and you 
stop...

        But then, I ran away... to her, a young innocent dreaming dreams of 
a cute boyfriend. I used her as a shield so I wouldn't have to think about 
your burning lips on my scar... your acceptance of me for all I was. She 
meant nothing more to me than an umbrella against the rain- but what you 
did... Why? How could you love me, want me that much, that you would do such 
a thing to her? She was a sacrifical lamb, on your altar of obsession, 
another way you showed your lust to me. 

        Still... I couldn't resist, even after I saw what you had done to 
her, to me. I couldn't stop thinking of that night, your touch. Why do you 
affect me the way you do? You are everything I am not... fire, passion- you 
were willing to care. You held me while I cried as She abandoned me again, 
and I couldn't help but accept your touch... your kiss...

        Love... I don't need it... but you got under my walls so fast. I lie 
in your embrace and I feel safe, at peace. You and I can't last... I know 
that. How can we? But here, I feel like we can be like this forever... and 
somehow, I don't mind. How did you do this to me? Take away my rage, at the
world, at Her, and make it into this sweeter, hotter emotion?

        I see you now, your limbs entertwined with mine. I feel an urge to 
snuggle closer, to feel your safety, your love. You made me able to love 
another... to feel passion- Why do you love me? I don't know... but I am 
content for now because you do... I want to... I want to hold you closer, to
give those hot kisses that you always give me. But not yet- I can't... but 
someday, maybe I will grab you, like you grab me, and give back every kiss 
that you have ever bestowed upon me.

        "Good morning, Izumi." was all he said to me, as he gave me a small 
kiss on my forehead. He looked down at me, love and joy in his eyes. His 
eyes, so different looking at others than when he looked at me. I see him, 
and all I know is his gaze. "Good morning, Kouji..." Then I get up, to 
another day... life isn't so bad. Nights aren't so bad, either...

---Finis---

Monica/Akira-chan!
        Oh, and if you want to talk Zetsuai/Bronze, join the YYH FFML- lots
of Noise, but also good stuff...

-----
Monica Shin--- monica@pipeline.com- Fav. Anime/Manga-
CLAMP stuffs- RGV, TB, X, MKR, CCD, 20 Menso, CCSakura,
MBoy, GWing, Esca, S.Dunk, RKenshin, FY, YYH, EVA, Zetsuai,
Fav. Charas- Akira, Hiiro, Subaru, Ashura-ou, Hiei, Kenshin
Visit my homepage! http://www.pipeline.com/~monica/