NARRABUNDAH 1/2
by Urac Sigma
Volume I, part four
Nan da yo? Toboki-sensei - Oneesan no Otoko?!
CAST OF CHARACTERS
TENDO SUZY
SIGMATOME RATBAT
The betrothed
TENDO FIONA
TENDO NIKI
Leftover sisters
TENDO BOBBI
SIGMATOME LEN
Intrusive parents
DR TOBOKI CALLUM
Medical guy
KUNOU JARRAH
Complete moron
HODJSUKE TIMOTHY
That little guy
A
LAB ASSISTANT
and the
LOST BOY
TITLE SEQUENCE.
[A lot of surreal-looking running and dancing
that culminates in Suzy and Ratbat standing back
to back. With the alternate Jajauma ni Sasenai
de, and an art card matching the voice-over.]
SUZY [VO]: Nan da yo? Toboki-sensei - Oneesan no Otoko?!
1. PATH.
[CAPTION: Neribanda, Japan - Saturday 19 August
1995 ]
[Gradually coming into this night view are Suzy
and Ratbat. Their progress is slow, as Ratbat-
chan seems unwilling to move her legs more than
a couple of centimetres at a time. She is in
quite some pain, and her face betrays that she
also has no idea why. Suzy is leading her along,
looking quite concerned, but turning her face
whenever Ratbat tries to look at her. In short,
this is less than an hour after the end of last
episode. Suzy tries to turn in one direction,
but Ratbat doesn't.]
RATBAT: Ernn...Dojo's the...other way...innit?
SUZY: There's a doctor nearby. Dr Toboki Callum. He's
been treating me, Niki and Fiona ever since we
were little...he's like a family friend.
[Ratbat nods and starts off in that direction.]
SUZY: He'd better be there...
2. DR CALLUM'S RECEPTION.
[Just open on the door, which is closed. [Whoa,
that's sloppy.] After a pause, there are door
chimes, and a man in his early thirties enters.
He has short but wavy red hair, glasses, and a
white coat and stethoscope over a blue denim
shirt and jeans. He answers the door.]
EARLY THIRTIES: Hi. What can-- [he peers closer, through
the cross-dressing] Suzy!
[Suzy and Ratbat are indeed there, and stagger
in.]
SUZY: Konbanwa, Toboki-sensei.
CALLUM: God, Suz, how many times do I have to tell you?
You can call me Callum.
SUZY: Hai. To-- Callum, this is Ratbat. Would you be
able to look him over?
CALLUM: Sure. You're lucky I'm up this late...I had a
few unexpected patients, you see.
SUZY: Oh...
CALLUM: Um, take her through to my office. I'll be there
in a second.
SUZY: Hai!
[She leads Ratbat off. Despite her contorted
face, Ratbat manages to raise the eyebrow of
observant curiosity. Follow Dr Callum through
to...]
3. INFIRMARY.
[Here, four beds are set up, containing [in
varying degrees of bandagement and groaning]
Bobbi, Len, Jarrah and Tim.]
JARRAH: I tell thee, Tim - had they not been using
dishonourable and underhanded tactics, they
would now be cowering before me for mercy-- Ow.
TIM: Nng...Hai, Kunou-sama.
BOBBI: D'you think, Sigmatome, (urk!) that maybe we
should get back to training one of these days?
LEN: Bullshit. We were just having an off
night...argh.
[Dr Callum enters, and addresses Niki, who is
standing bemused on the other side of the room.]
CALLUM: How are they, Niki?
NIKI: Hey, Cal. They're hurting, but I think it's
mostly their egos.
CALLUM: Well, that'll show them to get into street
fights in the middle of the night.
[Jarrah reaches for his rubber sword with his
unbandaged arm.]
JARRAH: Darest thou mock me, witch doctor...?
[Dr Callum calmly walks over and pushes a couple
of points on the arm, and it goes limp, dropping
the weapon.]
CALLUM: Now. Sumimasen.
[He exits. Niki sticks her tongue out at
Jarrah.]
JARRAH: I hate you.
NIKI: Bite me.
4. DR CALLUM'S OFFICE.
[Ratbat is foetally curled on the examining
table while Suzy is over at his desk. She is
fiddling with a Newton's Cradle. She pulls one
of the balls back, and when it contacts, its
opposite number swings right around and crashes
into the others. She hastily puts it in the
drawer as Dr Callum enters.]
CALLUM: Now - what seems to be the problem?
RATBAT: A while ago...Ratbat just collapsed, saying that
his stomach was hurting. And, well...look.
CALLUM: 'He'?
[Suzy realises.]
SUZY: Oh! He's not really a girl. I mean, he is, but
he's also a boy...uh...
CALLUM: Aaaahhh, I see.
[He leans conspiratorially over Ratbat.]
CALLUM: Look, they go for that kind of thing far more in
the West, but, seeing as you're a friend of
Suzy's, I could give you a prescription for some
pills, and the address of a colleague of mine
who--
SUZY: Ne! Umm...gomen, Callum...it's not
that...umm...do you mind if I make use of that
hot water bottle?
CALLUM: No, be my guest.
[She picks up a hot water bottle from the rack
under the table and empties it onto Ratbat,
changing her back into him. Callum boggles for a
moment.]
SUZY: He fell into a cursed spring in China. He can
use hot water to return to normal...
RATBAT: Nnh... uh? Hang about - it's stopped.
[Suzy talks right over him.]
SUZY: But as soon as he gets wet with cold water
again...
[She splashes him with a glass of water.]
SUZY: Bang, back to the 'fair sex'. What did you say?
[Ratbat is suddenly in pain again.]
RATBAT: Eeeiiii...don't worry...
CALLUM: Really? That's interesting...I can't say I've
seen that happen before. Not that fast, anyway.
I really must check my books later on. Now,
let's see what I can do to help you.
[With small difficulty, he gets Ratbat to lie
straight.]
CALLUM: Um...Ratbat, isn't it? Now, let's see if we
can't...
[Behind him, Fiona enters, and Suzy covers her
face with a hand.]
FIONA: Toboki-sensei? I just re-did the dressing on
Sigmatome-san's leg. He messed it up when he
tried to go looking for Scotch.
CALLUM: Thanks...[he turns and faces her] Fiona!
[At this point, he goes quite strange. His
glasses fog up, he starts dancing around
epileptically, and babbling.]
CALLUM: Fiona! Hey, this is a surprise!! What beings you
here?!
[Fiona smiles sweetly.]
FIONA: Oh, Toboki-sensei - don't you remember? Niki and
I brought the four in the infirmary in, a few
hours ago.
CALLUM: Oh, please, Fiona, there's no need for Callum -
call me formality!
[He goes over to the skeleton he has hanging on
a stand in the corner.]
CALLUM: Look, Hoppy-chan! Fiona's here!
[Hoppy-chan, naturally enough, doesn't respond.]
CALLUM: What's that? Hm...you don't sound well. Here,
have an injection.
[He pokes the skeleton's arm with a syringe. A
CU of Suzy shows that she is laughing beneath
her hand.]
RATBAT: Nhh...
[Bad move. When Toboki Callum's like this,
pretend you don't exist.]
CALLUM: Oh dear! What's wrong with you?
[He slams his hand right into Ratbat's midriff,
which doesn't improve her mood any. He pokes her
chest a couple of times.]
CALLUM: My, what pectorals.
[Niki appears and sees what has happened.]
NIKI [Self]: Kuso. [Aloud] Oneechan...I think Haha needs some
tending to.
FIONA: Oh. Hontoo ni? I'll be right there.
[Both sisters exit the room, past Dr Callum, who
is juggling medical implements. The instant
Fiona leaves, he calms right down. He turns back
to Ratbat, who looks ready to die.]
CALLUM: Oh, gomen. Didn't mean to leave you like that,
Ratbat. Hmm...
[He conducts a briefish examination of Ratbat.]
CALLUM: Aaaa, sooka.
[He places his fingers delicately on a few
points on Ratbat's body.]
RATBAT: Arrrgg-- uh? [Stopped mid-groan] It's...[she
touches her stomach experimentally, and tenderly
gets down from the table.] it's gone. Glenda,
you're good.
SUZY: What was that? What did you do?
CALLUM: Oh, that was mumei-gekkei-monogoto. Er, a
pressure-point technique I once learnt. Instant
relief from period pain.
SUZY & RATBAT: Uh-huh...[face-fault] PERIOD PAIN?!
CALLUM: Hai. Those were menstrual cramps that Ratbat was
feeling. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'd better
see how my other patients are getting on.
[Suzy and Ratbat stand dumbfounded. Dissolve
to:]
5. NERIBANDA STREET.
[Ratbat-chan and Suzy are walking home. Suzy is
shaking her head.]
SUZY: All that fuss just over getting your period...
You can tell you're an otoko at heart, really.
[Ratbat opens her mouth with a bizarre look in
her eyes, then appears to change her mind. She
instead says:]
RATBAT: Well, I've no got the...mental preparation for
it! Asides, I bet you didnae exactly react
calmly for your first one.
[Suzy thinks back.]
[Flashback to:]
6. LIVING ROOM.
[Calm in the dojo for once. A fourteen-year-old
Fiona is sitting at a table reading a textbook.
Niki [age twelve] is counting money. Bobbi is
writing a letter.]
[CAPTION: Neribanda, Japan - Monday 4 June 1990
]
[Suddenly, there is an enormous scream, and
eleven-year-old Suzy [making the noise], rushes
straight through at an unheard-of rate,
disappearing by making a Suzy-shaped hole in the
back wall.]
[Fiona looks reasonably surprised. Bobbi's eyes
are wide, wide open. Niki barely looks up.]
NIKI [Flat]: She's started.
7. NERIBANDA STREET.
SUZY: Of course I did.
[Ratbat doesn't believe her, but goes on,
changing tack entirely.]
RATBAT: Ye were casting expressions over young Callum
there. Do you...
[Suzy slows down.]
SUZY: Hai...
[She looks back in expectation of ridicule, but
nothing comes.]
RATBAT: I thought as much. I can usually tell when
someone fancies someone...I just don't usually
let on.
[Suzy's face shows how valid she thinks that
remark is.]
SUZY: [sigh] It's not going to happen, though...
RATBAT: What, 'cos 'e's fifteen-odd years older than
you?
[Suzy scowls: She doesn't like that being
pointed out.]
SUZY: Iie. He fancies someone else.
RATBAT: Hontoo? Dare?
[She gives her a square look.]
SUZY: Who do you think, Ratti-chan...?
RATBAT: Oh aye... Do you think Fiona knows how 'e feels?
SUZY: Nah.
RATBAT: Nani? After all that lot?
SUZY: Well, think about it...if he does that every
time she's around...
RATBAT: Sooda... She just thinks that that is him.
SUZY: I actually wish she would work it out, though...
RATBAT: Doshite?
SUZY: I think that if, like, he had someone, then
I'd...I'd sort of give up on him. I don't know,
I'd...feel better about not having him.
RATBAT: Hai...
[They have arrived back at the dojo.]
SUZY: Well, this was an interesting evening. I became
a man, and you...well, you really became a
woman!
RATBAT: Actually, Suzy-kun...I was...erm...
[She has a small plead in her eyes.]
RATBAT: ...I think I need kind of...a bit of...help
there. I was utterly unprepared for that...
SUZY: Um. Oh. Uh, OK.
[She giggles and shakes her head.]
SUZY: God, I thought I might have to give someone That
Talk one day, but I never thought it would be my
f-- [covering sneeze] --a boy.
[They walk up to the dojo, and we hear their
receding dialogue.]
SUZY: Are...are you sure you wouldn't rather Fiona
talked to you about this?
RATBAT: Pretty much.
[They open the door and go in.]
SUZY: Niki?
RATBAT [OOV, firm]: No.
8. LAB.
[A dingy-looking laboratory, probably
underground.]
[CAPTION: Interlude
Minnesota, USA - Saturday 19
August 1995 ]
[There is a doorbell sound, and a man dressed in
a black answers the door. The lost boy whom
we've been trailing for the past two weeks is
there. He carries a Japanese-English phrasebook
that he reads from brokenly.]
LOST BOY: Do you...give me...directions of Neribanda area?
[The man, in turn, gets out an English-Japanese
phrasebook at which he does even worse.]
MAN: Watashi wa Neribanda no naka de wakarimasen. Eki
ni ikimasuka? Hai, soodesu.
[The boy just blinks. ]
LOST BOY: Goodbye. Thank you for your helping.
[He goes.]
9. LIVING ROOM.
[Suzy and Ratbat are here. Suzy is idly doodling
while Ratbat sits with a thoughtful expression
on his face.]
RATBAT: So why don't we get them together?
[Suzy isn't quite listening.]
SUZY: Who?
RATBAT: Callum-sensei and Fiona.
SUZY: Nani? Have you been in the spice cupboard or
something?
RATBAT: I just thought about what you said last night.
About if 'e had someone. We've both seen that he
fancies her. She probably wouldn't mind him,
either, if she was...given a chance?
[Suzy is considering this. She nods slowly, her
pen in her mouth.]
SUZY: Hai...
RATBAT: I mean...it'd be good for her, it'd be good for
him, it'd be good for them - it'd be good for
you, an' all, goin' from you said.
SUZY [VO]: Hmmm...he's got a point...I do feel that
way...but would I still if he got together with
someone? With Fiona, even? And would it work,
for that matter? [Pause]
[She furrows her brow, thinking.]
SUZY: Oh, go on, Tendo, take some chances!
RATBAT: Eh?
[Suzy realises she didn't mean to say that out
loud.]
SUZY: Gomen. All right, we could try it.
RATBAT: Nice. 'Ere's the 64000-yen question, though -
how?
SUZY: You mean you didn't have a plan already? Baka!
RATBAT: Well, I'm 'ardly gonna 'ave a plan ready if ye
don't even think the first idea's any good, am
I? Baka-sempai!
SUZY: You could at least have thought up a draft to
outline your idea! Baka-sama!
RATBAT: Och, well pardon me for tryin' to meet with your
approval! Baka-megamisama!
[At this point, Suzy mallets him, so he makes
the oyakusoku pozu and goes down. Niki appears
in the doorway.]
NIKI: Ah, ce doit être l'amour.
SUZY: Uh?
RATBAT: 'It must be love'.
NIKI: I couldn't help but overhear your conversation,
what with only being in the next street and
everything - I think I might be able to help
this little plot of yours going.
RATBAT: Really? How's that, then?
[Niki holds out her hand.]
NIKI: Uh-uh. Cough up, first.
[On Ratbat's bemused face, we hear a rather
disgusting Suzy-generated noise, followed by the
vision of Niki wiping her hand on a black
Kleenex.]
NIKI: I've got to remember, never say that to Tendo
Suzy... Look, you're not going the right way if
you want to hear my plan.
SUZY: You're not going the right way if you don't want
to get wet again.
[Niki bobs down.]
NIKI: Who says I don't, my dear...
[Suzy looks about to launch into one of these
again, then decides against it.]
SUZY: Plan.
NIKI: [Sigh] OK, here's the idea. [Fade] For a start,
you've got to get them...
10. FIONA'S BEDROOM.
[She's studying again. I really hope she enjoys
studying and preparing things. [I don't quite
know what she supposedly studies, either, now I
think about it. I guess she's doing a part-time
course or something. Whatever.] Suzy knocks and
enters.]
FIONA: Oh. Ohayo, Suzy-chan.
SUZY: Ohayo. Umm, Fiona...what would you say to
inviting Toboki-sensei to dinner tomorrow night?
FIONA: Why, that would be a great idea, imoto-chan! We
so very rarely see him outside of work!
SUZY: Iidesuneee!
[A thought bubble appears over her head,
containing a checkbox which suddenly gets
ticked. Suzy gets the big cute eyes.]
SUZY: Could I help you cook?
[Fiona pauses, remembering something.]
BOBBI [VO, off, in pain]: I'm sorry, girls...it looks like
your mother may not make it through the night...
[Her face brightens.]
FIONA: I know, Suzy - you may set the table.
[The thought bubble appears again, this time the
box getting crossed. The bubble turns black,
becoming a rain cloud that pours down on Suzy.]
SUZY [From the pits of Hell]: Doomo arigatoo gozaimasu.
[She stalks out, Fiona smiling innocently after
her.]
11. OUTSIDE DOJO.
[Ratbat-kun is waiting by the gate, such as it
is. Pan across the street to show that Tim is
lurking on the other side of the street. He
doesn't seem to be doing anything much, possibly
lurking for Kunou. A small amount of rain
starts, and we all know what happens to The
Greatest Martial Artist in Neribanda.]
RATBAT: Ee...
[Tim wasn't paying attention properly, and now
he double-takes.]
TIM: Nani...?
[He rubs his eyes, but in the moment that he
does so, a cyclist comes past and sends him
flying out of the picture. Ratbat is suddenly
alert, and runs back to the dojo.]
12. LIVING ROOM.
[Niki has the parents in a huddle. Ratbat
enters.]
RATBAT: 'e's comin'!
[Leaves.]
NIKI: Now - do you remember it, guys? As soon as
things start to calm down, we all make excuses
and go, leaving Fiona and Callum together.
BOBBI: Ohhh! Do we have to go through with this?
NIKI: Listen - remember who makes it possible for you
to get the real, bottled-in-Scotland Scotch
whisky at cost!
LEN: Yeah, but I like the cheap domestic crap much
better anyway!
[Niki sighs and rolls her eyes.]
NIKI: Then I'll get you that at cost, OK? [To Bobbi]
Besides, don't you want to see your eldest
daughter happy?
BOBBI: But you've seen her! Waiting on us hand and foot
is what makes her happy! We can't take that away
from her!
[Niki reaches into her top and withdraws a roll
of camera film.]
BOBBI: What's that?
NIKI: You don't know?
LEN: No.
NIKI: Good. If you want to keep it that way, behave
yourselves tonight.
FIONA [OOV]: Ah! Irasshai! Toboki-sensei, konbanwa!
CALLUM [OOV]:Fiif-Fi-Fiona! What a pleasant surprise! Have
you come around to your house for dinner as
well?
[Suzy grits her teeth. Ratbat-kun returns.]
SUZY: Fuck, I'd forgotten about that.
RATBAT: We'll just have to distract him as best we can.
NIKI: Come on, then, guys.
[The kids do a very animated-series three-way
hand join.]
SUZY, RATBAT, NIKI: TENDO-SIGMATOME TOBOKI-SENSEI NO
SAKUSEN!
[After that little effort, take the 'camera' up
to find the clock on the wall. An hour passes.
Go back down to find the dining table, with the
seven diners around it. Show that Callum's
attention is drifting towards Fiona, and so his
glasses are getting slightly foggy, and he's
quietly making a funny noise. Ratbat leaps in.]
RATBAT: 'ere, To-- Callum, gomen - where did ye learn
all that stuff like pressure-pointin' and what-
have-you? I mean, is there just that one you
used the other day, or what?
[Callum giggles at Fiona, but as Niki steers his
head around, his attention is captured by
Ratbat.]
CALLUM: Oh, no. I know hundreds of those. Literally.
From everything from an ingrown toenail to
chronic muscle fatigue.
BOBBI: Before he started practicing here, Callum
studied martial arts quite extensively. He's
really good these days, but he only ever uses
the healing techniques.
CALLUM: I can't see the point in all that business with
physical contests. It's usually me that has to
patch people up afterwards, so I might as well
be good at it.
RATBAT: 'ow good are you, though? At, like, the fighting
an' stuff?
CALLUM: Well, say you were to challenge me...
RATBAT: Hai?
CALLUM: I could have you flat on your back before you'd
even got your mouth closed.
RATBAT: Och, I dunno about that 'un. I'm qui-- ow!
[Suzy has elbowed him.]
SUZY: Dame!
RATBAT: Hmph!
[Niki looks at her watch and frowns. Suddenly,
she knocks a glass of water onto Ratbat.]
RATBAT: Oi!
NIKI: Oh, chikusho - I've accidentally changed Ratbat
into a girl. [Very forced, trying to make
everyone get the point.] We'd better go and get
some hot water to change you back.
RATBAT: Um? [Realises] Och, ye're right. Come on, Suzy-
kun.
SUZY: Right. I'll just come, and...uh...hold it still.
[She follows them out with a 'why did I just say
that?' expression on her face.]
BOBBI: Oh! Sumimasen - I think I hear the telephone
ringing.
[She gets up to go.]
FIONA: But Okaasan - the telephone's just over there.
[She points to one on the other side of the
room.]
BOBBI: Um, yeah. No. I mean nextdoor's denwa!
[She exits, flustered.]
LEN: Er, um...excuse me. I'm just gonna go...er, take
a bath.
[He runs out into the yard, and we hear a large
splash, followed by Len trying to sing My Way as
a panda. This means that Dr Callum has no-one
left here but Fiona. His glasses start to fog
up, and he starts to giggle. Fiona just looks at
him charmingly. Show that he is straining
slightly.]
CALLUM [VO]: No, don't carry on like that! You've got her
alone at long last! Say something smart! You're
a doctor, you must have something interesting to
say!
CALLUM: So, uh, day-chan, what do you Fiona with
yourself these do's?
[Fiona laughs politely.]
FIONA: Oh, Callum...you're so funny.
CALLUM: I am? I mean, am I? I mean, that's nice and
everything, but I just don't do it in purpose, I
mean I would if I thought it was good...[laughs
slightly maniacally]
13. BOTTOM OF STAIRWELL.
[Bobbi is leaning on the rail, listening. She
shakes her head sadly.]
BOBBI: Oh, Fiona-chan...
14. NIKI'S LAIR.
[CU on a Monopoly board. A long-nailed, slightly
webbed hand comes into view and moves the dog
token.]
RATBAT: Ichi, ni, san, shi. Hm. Does anyone own this
one?
NIKI: Hai, watashi. Let's see...and it's got how many
hotels on it? Oh, OK. Let me think...
[She fishes a calculator from amongst her vast
collection of game-profits and presses a few
buttons.]
NIKI: ...call it...hyakuman en.
RATBAT: A million yen?! Yer only supposed to put two
hotels on these things!
NIKI: Who says?
SUZY: The bank.
NIKI: Ee, but I own the bank now. I convinced the
manager that there were some...transactions he
didn't want the general public to know about.
[Ratbat bundles everything before her over to
Niki.]
RATBAT: Och, ye've cleaned me out, all right? Happy?
Bled a virgin dry and appeased the gods of
commerce now, have we?
NIKI [Sarcasm]: Aaaaaaa, aware na Ratti. OK, just to show
that I'm not a total demon, I'll let you
keep...this.
RATBAT: The plastic dog. Woo-heee.
NIKI: Ne, it'll be worth heaps on the collector's
market in about ninety years' time. Suzy-kun!
[Suzy rolls.]
NIKI: A double?
SUZY: Iie.
NIKI: Oh, well, looks like you're still in gaol then.
SUZY: I'm not really sure if you can bribe the police
to come and get me on the other side of the
Monopoly board.
NIKI: It's a big world out there, dear imoto - you've
got to take what you can get.
[Somehow manages to cast a glare that links them
together.]
NIKI: Speaking of which...I might sneak down and see
how our oneechan's faring with the lovesick
medicine-man.
[She steps over the board and exits. Ratbat and
Suzy display a lack of enthusiasm for further
Monopoly.]
RATBAT: Suzy-kun...?
SUZY: Hai?
RATBAT: What do you make of ou-- of this whole
engagement concept?
SUZY: I think my mother interferes too much.
RATBAT: Hai, and I think the same about the Bamboo Boy
down there. I meant, sort of...aside from the
forced-ness?
[Suzy is about to give her usual reply of
resentment, but somehow doesn't.]
SUZY: I...[She's really thinking of saying something]
...wakaranai.
[Ratbat wipes off a similar expression of what
he was going to say.]
RATBAT: I think I know what ye mean there. I've no
really thought about it any other way.
SUZY: Well, it's kind of hard to disassociate the two
things.
RATBAT: This is true. And I really have the feeling that
neither my father nor your mother were exactly
OK to drive when they first came up with the
idea...
SUZY: No. [Laughs]
RATBAT: It's no the last time Chichi would do that kind
of thing, mind you.
SUZY: Hontoo?
RATBAT: Aye. 'E was always forgettin' I existed. He kept
leaving me behind in places, using me as a
bargaining chip. He almost lost me in a game of
poker once, or so I heard. We're probably lucky
I'm not engaged to all three of you. [Shudders]
What about being engaged to a girl?
SUZY: You're not really a girl.
RATBAT: No, I'm a woman, remember? [Evil grin]
SUZY: [Giggle] You know what I mean.
RATBAT: Hai, hai... I wonder if that means I can have
children? No. That's a thought too fiddly to
think with.
[Suzy is obviously picturing too much.]
SUZY: Yee-esss........
RATBAT: No, what I me--
[Niki bursts back in.]
NIKI: He's gone!
SUZY: Toboki-sensei?
NIKI: Hai. Fiona's off to bed. She's just finished
cleaning up.
RATBAT: You mean we got them alone together
after...what? Two years he's had this thing? We
get them alone together after two years, and
nothing happens?
NIKI: Not that I can see.
SUZY: Nerf!
SUZY [VO]: If Toboki-sensei isn't involved with Fiona, that
means he's still available. But didn't I say I
didn't want him available?
[She looks over at Ratbat for a moment.]
SUZY [VO]: But I'll probably...no, I...I don't know what I
want about him! About anyone! Nerf!!
SUZY: Kuso! I hate romance!
[She bangs her head against the wall. Niki
barely notices, and by now Ratbat doesn't look
too surprised.]
NIKI: I wonder what it was?
15. FIONA'S BEDROOM.
[Fiona is here, getting ready for bed. She wears
a lovely pale blue nightie, and has a teddy-bear
waiting for her.]
RATBAT [VO]: Maybe they found out they just wereno
compatible.
NIKI [VO]: Could be.
SUZY [VO]: Who knows? Maybe she's actually got eyes for
someone else entirely...
[Fiona gets to her bed, then opens a drawer on
her bedside table. Out of it she pulls a framed
photograph. She looks at it wistfully.]
FIONA: Oh, Toboki-sensei is very charming - but I
couldn't accept him over you. One day you'll be
mine, and we'll be together.
[She kisses the photograph.]
FIONA: Oyasuminasai, my darling. Goodnight...
[She lays the photograph in the drawer and gets
into bed. As the photo is laid out, we can see
it is...]
FIONA: ...Tim-chan.
[She pushes the drawer shut and out go the
lights.]
END CREDITS.
Tendo Suzy
SUZY STYLES
Sigmatome Ratbat
URAC SIGMA
Tendo Niki
NIKI O'BRIEN
Tendo Bobbi
ROBYN SCHOLES
Dr Toboki Callum
CALLUM BOWEN
Hodjsuke Tim
TIM HODGE
Lost boy
EUAN BOWEN
TV's Frank
FRANK CONNIFF
written by
URAC SIGMA
additional material
SUZY STYLES
creation and development
URAC SIGMA
EUAN BOWEN
LEILA FETTER
SUZY STYLES
with apologies to
TAKAHASHI RUMIKO
© Recycadelic Cacti MCMXCVI