NARRABUNDAH 1/2
by Urac Sigma
Volume I, chapter three
Anata no Sei, Watashi no Sei
CAST OF CHARACTERS
TENDO SUZY
Engaged against her will
SIGMATOME RATBAT
Engaged against the wall
TENDO NIKI
Blood money
TENDO FIONA
Studious domestitude
TENDO BOBBI
Maternal pride
SIGMATOME LEN
Scotch and shogi tonight
KUNOU JARRAH
Fear his rubber!
HODJSUKE TIMOTHY
Underling and underpaid
HINOMIYA RUTH-SENSEI
Fair educator
A
ROBOT
who can't help with directions
and the
LOST BOY
TITLE SEQUENCE.
[With the alternate Jajauma ni Sasenai de, and
an art card matching the voice-over.]
SUZY [VO]: Anata no Sei, Watashi no Sei.
1. LIVING ROOM.
[The Tendos and the Sigmatomes are sitting down
to their evening meal.]
[CAPTION: Neribanda, Japan - Thursday 17 August
1995 ]
BOBBI: Brilliant as ever, Fiona-chan.
LEN: Yeah. Bloody marvellous, that.
[Fiona smiles sweetly.]
FIONA: Why, Okaasan, Sigmatome-san, how nice of you to
say so.
[The kids nod in agreement: they're still
stuffing their faces.]
FIONA: I was thinking of doing that chicken tomorrow
night...
NIKI: You mean that chicken thing with the clay thing
and the hammer thing? Cool.
FIONA: Hai. It's a shame Suzy and Ratbat won't be here
to enjoy it.
RATBAT & SUZY: Nani?
SUZY: We won't??
BOBBI: No. Len and I have decided that, since you two
are now a couple, tomorrow night you will have
your first date.
SUZY: We are not a couple!
NIKI: There's two of you. That's a couple.
RATBAT: She's got us there.
SUZY: Chikusho. But...a date? You're sending us on a
d�to?
LEN: Don't all engaged couples date?
BOBBI: Of course! In fact, I remember your father and
I's first date...
[Flashback to:]
2. BEFORE ALTAR.
[CAPTION: Hakodate, Japan - Thursday 14 October
1975 ]
[CU of Bobbi, some twenty years younger, in a
wedding dress. A shotgun comes into shot and we
hear it cock. Bobbi gulps.]
[End flashback.]
3. LIVING ROOM.
[Bobbi is still reminiscing.]
BOBBI: Ah, he was a fine man, your otosan...muscles
that rippled beneath his skin like a condom
filled with turtles...a beautiful beard...
FIONA: Otosan didn't have a beard...
BOBBI [Ignoring her]: ...beautiful, smooth black skin...
NIKI: Chichi wasn't black!
LEN: I think your mother's...uh...mis-remembering,
girls...
SUZY: You mean she's having a fantasy.
LEN: I think I'll go see what's on TV.
[Leaves.]
FIONA: Oh my, look at this mess...
[Rapidly gathers up some half-used plates and
leaves.]
SUZY: Come on, guys...let's go up to my room, and...do
stuff.
[You never saw three people disappear faster.
Bobbi hasn't noticed a thing. She's still in her
little world.]
BOBBI: Ohhh...yes...do it to
me...yes...yes...[Unspeakable ecstasy!]...ah,
banzai...!
[Len sticks his head back in, shudders, and
quickly withdraws it.]
4. SUZY'S ZONE.
[Niki, Suzy and Ratbat enter. Suzy sits on the
bed, Niki on top of her, and Ratbat by the
desk.]
NIKI: So...where are you two going to go on your date?
SUZY: Nowhere. We're not going.
[Ratbat had opened his mouth to reply, but
closes it, thunder stolen.]
NIKI: Why not?
SUZY: You think I want to go out with a hentai like
him?
NIKI: As opposed to your usual type of hentai?
SUZY: Ha ha. [Play-sexy] No, as opposed to you, my
darling...
NIKI [Same]: But, fair imoto...our mother would never
approve...!
SUZY: And society doesn't understand!
NIKI: Then we'll just have to make sure they never
find out...
[They gaze right into each other's eyes. Back at
the desk, Ratbat fiddles with a Doraemon spice
shaker some more until he realises the talking
has stopped. He turns to face the Tendos, then
sees that they are still locked in each other's
deep optical pools, lips quivering slightly.]
RATBAT: Oi!
[He goes over to the bed, and waves his hand
between them.]
RATBAT: Ne! Suzuki! Nikita!
[He snaps his fingers a few times, which brings
them out.]
SUZY: Um? Nerf? What?
RATBAT: '...usual type of hentai.'
NIKI: Oh, yeah...right. No, I was about to mention the
part about our parents paying for your date.
SUZY: Really?
RATBAT: Och?
NIKI: I mean...it's not as if you completely hate each
other, is it?
RATBAT: Well, I guess I've met people who hit me
slightly more...
SUZY: And he...um...rolls his Rs, that's kind of nice.
[Ratbat looks irked, but realises that Suzy
meant that in the nicest possible way that his
accent was the only good thing about him.]
NIKI: So couldn't you just go out, you know...as
friends? Just have a good time, regardless of
what our parents say?
SUZY: Well, I suppose I have been cooped up in the
dojo a bit much recently.
RATBAT: And I guess after six days here, it would be
nice to see some of the city...
NIKI: See! That's the attitude!
NIKI [VO]: Besides, I've got 6000 yen riding on you two
getting it on before the end of the month, and
I've got to start somewhere...
[Dissolve to:]
5. BEFORE NARRABUNDAH COLLEGE.
[The morning fight. It seems Suzy did eventually
relent about Ratbat's involvement, as they are
both in the thick of it.]
RATBAT: I say, they're not quite so energetic today, are
they?
[Uses a choirgirl to create a domino effect on a
bunch of other attackers.]
SUZY: Ja, they usually give me a bit of a break on
Fridays.
[Knocks out a biker with his own helmet.]
RATBAT: Well, that's nice of them.
[There's only one left, and he's in a flying
lunge as we speak.]
SUZY: Mine!
RATBAT: No, mine!
SUZY: Eeto...OK!
RATBAT: No, wait! 'E's yours!
[Suzy whirls to face him.]
SUZY: Baka! What did I just say?
[Ratbat turns to her also.]
RATBAT: Aye, but what did ye say first?!
[The guy finishes his lunge to fly between them
and land in a heap.]
SUZY & RATBAT: Oh.
JARRAH [OOV]:Once more you do yourself proud, Tendo Suzy, by
defeating the masses before you.
[In full view now, sword-waving and everything.]
JARRAH: And once more Sigmatome disgraces you and
himself even further by not allowing you to
combat on your own terms!
[Cut back to Suzy and Ratbat, who are looking
quite bored. Suzy is yawning, and Ratbat has
started reading a manga.]
JARRAH: Ratbat, I must strike you down once more!
RATBAT: 'Once more'?
[Jarrah ignores this, just throws his rubber
sword at Ratbat. Ratbat ducks nicely, but it
bounces off the tree behind him and smacks him
in the back of the head.]
RATBAT: Och. No bad.
[Falls forward.]
[The sword, meanwhile has bounced straight up.]
JARRAH: A true warrior is only unarmed when he carries
nothing, Sigmatome.
[The sword drops back to him, but it is on an
erratic path and he can't catch it properly. It
bounces away to the side. Jarrah tries to look
contained.]
JARRAH: Sumimasen.
[He stalks off after it. It bounces towards a
student with a water bottle, and hits them in
the arm, sending the bottle flying...right
towards the rising Ratbat, in case you couldn't
guess. Yep, instant girly-girl.]
RATBAT: Chikuso...
[Jarrah, off getting his sword, hasn't noticed
this yet, but another has. On the school roof
sits Tim, binoculars in hand. He stares. Surely
pon�t�ru no onna wasn't there a moment ago?]
TIM [VO]: Where did she come from so quickly?
[He cranes forward, but ends up falling from the
roof, and burying himself in the ground, head-
first up to his waist.]
TIM [Muffled]: Ooh, dramatic!
[Jarrah turns back to the action. Naturally, he
is a little taken aback.]
JARRAH: Nani? Where is that cur Ratbat? And how dare he
leave you to do battle in his place, my lovely
one? That coward!
RATBAT: Oh, for Glenda's sake, Kunou...
JARRAH: Hai, fair maiden that could launch a thousand,
nay, a million ships?
SUZY [VO]: She's a really big bottle of champagne?
RATBAT: Shut it.
[She kicks him in the face and he goes down [not
on her, much to his disappointment]. The girls
wander off. Jarrah manages to raise his eyes
slightly and sees Tim sticking out of the
ground.]
JARRAH: Tim, don't slouch.
6. SUZY & RATBAT'S CLASSROOM.
[Students are drifting in. Among them are Ratbat-
chan and Suzy.]
SUZY [VO]: That's odd...there was plenty of time for Ratbat
to go to the canteen and get some hot water this
time, but she--
RATBAT: Really, what is it with that guy?
SUZY: Kunou? He's been like that as long as I've known
him, and that's quite a while.
RATBAT: Dunn'e know that no means no?
SUZY: [Shrugs] I guess not. I mean...face it, he's
actually pretty harmless...
RATBAT: That's true...but he doesn't half get on my
tits.
SUZY: All four of them?
RATBAT: Hrm. But still...I wouldnae have thought I was
his type. I mean, seeing as he likes a masculine-
type bird like yerself...
SUZY: Otoko no yo? Boku? With these?!
[Cups her breasts in her hands to illustrate her
point.]
RATBAT: Versus these?
[Ratbat can't quite repeat the action
adequately, what with only having two hands and
all. And once more, I shan't say who's the
better built. For one thing, does bigger
necessarily mean better...?]
SUZY: Ratti-chan, I think, despite your curse, that
you're not really into womanhood.
RATBAT: Nani? I've been a woman for--
[We can't be sure if she cuts herself short or
if Suzy interrupts her.]
SUZY: --less than a month, all told, I'm guessing. I
think I win. You're no less masculine than you
say I am.
[Ratbat starts poking herself in the chest.]
SUZY: Oh, stop playing with your tits - the novelty
wears off after about fifteen and a half years,
anyway. [Wonders if she said that too loud and
if that might be why all those people are
looking at her.]
RATBAT: Well, butchski as you are, you still don't have
any idea about what it's like to be an otoko.
I'm no used to having to cope with the likes of
Jarrah.
[Suzy thinks for a moment.]
SUZY [VO]: One of us has a point, I'm sure...it must be
me...or do we both think the same thing? Not
that he'd admit it of course...typical boy.
[Pan to Ratbat.]
RATBAT [VO]: I wonder where the Doctor gets all his jelly
babies?
[Back to Suzy.]
SUZY [VO]: Unless...that's it!!
SUZY: I'll swap you.
RATBAT: Nani? Swap me...? How--
RUTH [OOV]: Tendo-san, Sigmatome-san...
[They both snap their attention to the front.
Cut to show that adult Ruth is standing at the
front of the room, flipping a coin over and
over.]
RUTH: Are you two going to pay attention, or will I
show you what happens to students who disrupt
class?
SUZY & RATBAT: Paying attention.
8. VOLCANO.
[A dormant volcano that appears to have a large
metal structure set into its side.]
[CAPTION: Interlude:
Mt St Hillary, Oregon, USA -
Thursday 17 August 1995 ]
[The lost boy we saw last episode stalks up to
the metal structure and bangs on the side. Soon
enough, a large grey, black and gold robot
answers his knocking.]
ROBOT: Hai?
LOST BOY: Do you know if I can find Sigmatome Ratbat
around here?
ROBOT: Uhhh...me not think so.
LOST BOY: Arigato. Suman.
[He wanders off, and the robot returns inside.]
9. KITCHEN.
[Fiona fusses over dinner while Niki, Suzy and
Ratbat are here.]
NIKI: What do you mean... 'swap'?
SUZY: Ratti and I figured that we both had stuffed
ideas about what it was like to be the other
gender.
RATBAT: So, on our date tonight, we both decided to
cross-dress.
NIKI: Um. OK.
NIKI [VO]: Maybe I should have taken the 1000 yen as-long-
as-they-don't-die bet.
NIKI: So...you're gonna dress as a boy.
SUZY: Hai.
[Niki stares at Suzy's chest and raises her
eyebrows.]
NIKI: That should be interesting... [Shakes her head]
So, let me get it straight...you two have become
engaged, and your first actions together as a
couple are to take up cross-dressing.
RATBAT: Hai.
[Niki bends close to him.]
NIKI: You were bottle-fed, weren't you?
10. FRONT ROOM, KUNOU MANOR.
[Jarrah is here, as is Tim, but we can't see him
in the close-up of Jarrah.]
JARRAH: D�to? Are you sure, Timothy?
TIM: Pretty sure. Both Tendo Suzy and Ratbat
mentioned it...
JARRAH: And what more do you know about the red-haired
girl...?
TIM: Umm, well...[blushes] She doesn't wear a bra.
Tendo Niki kept mentioning that.
JARRAH: Of course, such orbs of beauty must not be
constricted, by neither cotton nor synthetic...
They must be free, allowed to move naturally as
the fourfold symbols of femininity that they
are...
TIM: Aaa...hai, Kunou-sama.
JARRAH: [Introspect] So, Sigmatome can't wait to have
Suzy-megamisama all to himself, can't he? No
doubt he intends to ravage her no sooner than
leaving the house. [Aloud] No, I will not allow
it! Tonight, I shall follow them, and be sure
that Suzy retains her honour! Sigmatome, if you
foul so much a single eyelash of the Venus Suzy,
you will feel her pain a thousand times over!
TIM [VO]: I wonder if he's even got a thousand eyelashes.
11. SUZY'S ZONE.
[Here are Niki and Suzy. Suzy is wearing a pair
of men's suit trousers and her traditional buns
have been forsaken for a more masculine
arrangement that almost makes it look as though
she has sideburns. Niki wrapping bandages around
her chest very tightly. It gives the desired-for
suppression, but Suzy really doesn't look like
it's her favourite experience. She keeps
squirming.]
NIKI: Hold still!
SUZY [Short of breath]:I'm not fidgeting - these are death
throes. How the hell do guys breathe?
NIKI: They get mastectomies if they don't stop
complaining.
SUZY: Nerrrrrrf... Can't I just be a boy with a chest?
NIKI: No, your dansei is a boy with a chest.
SUZY: Ratbat's not a boy with a chest! He's just got
this...curse thing.
[Niki hums something to herself.]
SUZY: What?
NIKI: A few days ago, you would've denied you were
even engaged if I'd said something like that.
SUZY: Hey! Y--
NIKI [suddenly back]: Besides, that shortness of breath
helps with your voice.
SUZY [distracted]:[sigh] Soone.
[Niki finishes binding.]
NIKI: There. Now get your shirt and tie.
[Grumbling, Suzy does so. As she does, Niki
checks her out.]
NIKI: Hm. Iidesune, even if I do say so myself.
SUZY: I wonder how Ratti's getting on.
NIKI: Well, wouldn't he just [actions] sploosh?
SUZY: Iie. If I have to put with this, he has to dress
his otoko half up as an onna.
12. RATBAT'S DEN.
[Ratbat is here with Fiona, who doesn't look in
the least bit surprised that she is dressing up
a transvestite who has a much quicker way of
doing it. [Tea must be OK.] Currently, she is
doing up Ratbat's bra [possibly not literally
Ratbat's] over a chest that quite frankly
doesn't need it.]
FIONA: There. I was worried it wouldn't fit around
properly.
RATBAT: Och, well...quite frankly, it wasnae there I was
worried about.
[He plucks the bra-cups, which at the moment
would make quite good pockets.]
FIONA: Don't worry - I'll take care of that.
[She disappears briefly, while Ratbat fidgets
with the make-up she's left behind. A 'do people
really wear this?' expression crosses his face.
Fiona returns with two small lumps wrapped in
plastic. Ratbat takes one and looks at it.]
RATBAT: Kome?
FIONA: Hai, rice. It usually looks just right.
[She starts placing the clumps into the bra.]
RATBAT [VO]: Should I ask how she knows this so well?
[Affords the briefest of glances at Fiona's
chest.]
RATBAT [VO]: No, I shan't.
FIONA: Ah! That looks perfect. Now, let's see if we can
get you into that dress...
13. LIVING ROOM.
[The parents are being conspiratorial. Four-
Scotch conspiratorial.]
BOBBI: We should follow the kids out tonight,
Sigmatome.
LEN: Fantastic idea. What is it they say?
BOBBI: 'True love runs smoothly...'
LEN: '...but a watchful eye need be cast over it.'
BOBBI: Oh. Confucious?
[Len looks at the bottle.]
LEN: Nah, it's White Heather.
BOBBI: Er. I mean, was it Confucious who said that?
LEN: Nah. 100% pure bullshit, mate. You should get
used to it.
14. ENTRY HALL.
[Fiona and Niki are here. Both look satisfied.]
FIONA: How did things go with Suzy?
NIKI: Harder than I thought - she's such a tomboy to
start with, y'see.
FIONA: Oh. By contrast, Ratbat is rather feminine.
NIKI: Really? Maybe that Chinese swim did him some
good. Shizuka - here they come.
[Ersatz Ratbat-chan and Suzy-kun enter. Both are
now fully in their adopted roles. Suzy is
wearing a black suit with black shirt and white
tie. Ratbat is in a purple Chinese dress, and
now bears a black wig and full make-up. Both
look quite convincing.]
RATBAT: Och. No bad.
SUZY: Thanks. You look pretty good yourself...uh, for
a girl.
RATBAT: Arigato.
[Everyone just stands there staring at each
other for a moment. Eventually, Fiona
mysteriously acquires the coats for the sixteen-
year-olds, and hands them to them.]
FIONA: Here you are.
NIKI: Yes. You guys go out and have a lovely time. And
don't forget to bon-- Uh, to be good. That's it.
[Nope, it probably doesn't translate quite
right. Oh, well.]
[The pair look reasonably happy, despite their
protests earlier.]
SUZY: We will.
RATBAT: Ready to face your first night on the other
side, Suzy-kun?
SUZY: As ready as-- [remembers who she's talking to]
Come on, ikimasho. J� ne, oneechan.
RATBAT: J� ne.
[They put their coats on and exit.]
15. OUTSIDE DOJO.
[The two of them come out into the night. Suzy
turns to Ratbat.]
SUZY: Ratti-kuchan...
RATBAT: Hm?
SUZY: Nani o...?
[She pokes his chest.]
RATBAT: Rice.
SUZY: Fiona?
RATBAT: Hai. And, erm...?
[He indicates her groin, now...well, less
concave, for want of a better term.]
SUZY: Cricket protector.
RATBAT: Where did ye get that?
SUZY: It's Mum's. Just...don't ask.
RATBAT: Whatever.
[They start off again.]
SUZY: Where should we go to first...?
[They go.]
16. ENTRY HALL.
[Len and Bobbi are here, also putting on big
coats, and also hats to go with them.]
LEN: Come on...we don't want them getting too much of
a head on us...!
BOBBI: I'm coming...!
17. NEAR TENDO DOJO.
[Jarrah and Tim arrive to conceal themselves a
short distance from the dojo in some shrubs.
They also have the big coats on. Tim's is
obviously designed to fit Jarrah, ie, someone
almost twice his size.]
JARRAH [Even though Tim arrived first]: Hurry, Timothy! We
may already have missed them.
TIM: Hai, Kun-- Mate! There's two people coming out
of the dojo now!
[In long shot, we see two people emerge. A close-
up shows us the oh-so-sneaky Len and Bobbi on
their way down the street.]
JARRAH: It must be them.
[Always too sure of himself, isn't he?]
JARRAH: Come - we will follow, as stealthily as the
night itself, our breath like its whispering
wind--
[Tim has gone.]
JARRAH: Timothy! Wait!
[He also goes to follow. Dissolve to:]
18. OUTSIDE RESTAURANT.
[Through the big window, we can see Ratbat and
Suzy sitting at a table, eating and talking [not
all at once, they have manners]. On the corner,
at a bad angle, but still able to see, are Bobbi
and Len, still trenched out. Bobbi has
binoculars.]
LEN: Can you see what they're doing?
BOBBI: They're sitting and talking. They're not even
fighting!
[Len starts doing a little jig, and waving
little fans.]
LEN: Kansei! Our families will be joined!
BOBBI: Much as I wish to agree with you, Lenma, we are
talking on the strength of one date.
LEN [Not listening]: Big wedding! Huge reception! I might
even invite Nicole...
BOBBI: Sssshhhh...
[Take us to the roof of the restaurant, to find
Jarrah and Tim scrambling into place. From here,
anyone with a half a brain could see that the
figures below were Tendo Bobbi and Sigmatome
Len. Kunou, therefore, naturally thinks that
they're Tendo Suzy and Sigmatome Ratbat.]
TIM: There they are, sir.
JARRAH: Yes, Tim. I was wondering when your senses,
inevitably incomparable to my own, would detect
them. No doubt Sigmatome is telling Suzy lies,
while he makes plans to involve her in his own
sick torture as he breaks her heart. Soon,
Sigmatome, you will rue the day you ever heard
the name Kunou Jarrah!
TIM [VO]: I really think he already does.
19. RESTAURANT.
[Suzy is heading towards the restrooms, and
almost goes into the wrong one. Well, the right
one, I suppose, really. Oh, the right one
usually, but... Gurl, gender sucks! She nearly
goes into the females', OK? Cut to Ratbat,
across the restaurant, returning to the table, a
tray containing dessert in his hands. He looks
reasonably surprised at something. He places the
contents of their tray on their almost-empty
table, and sits down. Before long, Suzy returns,
a slightly stunned expression on her face.]
RATBAT: Ye work it out, then?
SUZY: Ee...[ahem]. Well...hm. If you were ever
wondering, Ratbat...it is possible, but it takes
doing.
RATBAT: Well, I'm having my share of experiences
actually doing proper socialising as a female
for once. See that geezer behind the counter
there? I've come in here once or twice after
school, ne? Rude to me, rude to Gosunkugi, rude
to every bloke that comes in here. Just now?
Charmin' as the ocean's wet.
SUZY: That's one of the things I was telling you
about...you have to put up with a whole
different type of attention as a woman, but you
seem to expect everyone to treat you as a man.
RATBAT: This is true... Och, I didnae notice that afore.
SUZY: Notice what?
RATBAT: You and Niki went to all the trouble of putting
inchiki no stubble on yer face...
SUZY: No we didn-- Oi! Baka!
[She mallets him, but in deference to the mood,
it's smaller than the usual mallet. It still,
however, knocks his head to the table, from
where his eyes lock onto Suzy's watch.]
RATBAT: Oh, Glenda...nanji desuka?
SUZY: The time?
[She too looks at her watch.]
SUZY: Fuck! We're gonna miss that film!
[They hurriedly get up.]
SUZY: We'll go out the back way. It's a short-cut to
the cinema from there.
RATBAT: Fair enough.
[They make towards the back.]
20. OUTSIDE RESTAURANT.
[Bobbi is still straining through the
binoculars.]
BOBBI: Nani? Where'd they go?
[Len looks about, then points.]
LEN: Isn't that them there?
[We distantly see the young couple dash across
at the back end of the alley next to the
restaurant.]
BOBBI: What are they... Masaka, you don't think they've
gone to...
LEN: What? Before the wedding? Bullshit they will.
BOBBI: They might not be.
LEN: Then it won't matter if we check up on them.
C'mon!
[They go to cross the street. As they do, they
have to stop as a car goes past, splashing Len,
and we all know what happens. Bobbi pauses, but
Len points on.]
LEN: Growf!!
[They dash off.]
[The roof. Kunou sees the movement.]
JARRAH: Why, no doubt that scourge to women Sigmatome
plans to defile her in that alley right below.
Come, Tim! We must save the maiden's head!
[He jumps off the side of the building, and we
hear an unceremonious landing. Tim sighs, and
starts running down the fire escape.]
21. ALLEY.
[Bobbi and Len [mostly hidden by shadows and
coats] arrive at the end.]
BOBBI: Where...?
[They see two other figures [Jarrah [picking
himself up] and Tim] up the alley, and assume
they have overtaken them.]
BOBBI: Hey! You two! JARRAH: Sigmatome -
We'll have prepare to
none of that, meet thy
thank you!! maker!!
[Everyone glowers for a second, and auras start
to glow. Then it's all in! Tendo-Sigmatome vs
Kunou-Hodjsuke. Actually, Tim would probably be
able to get out OK if it weren't for the fact
that Jarrah keeps using him as a weapon. It all
erupts in a huge smoke/dust cloud, obscuring
everything. It eventually clears, and we see all
four of them lying battered on the ground. Len
still holds a battered sign saying 'Ouch'. The
feet of two more figures in trenchcoats step up
to them.]
FIGURE 1: Oh, my...
[Pan up to their faces - the two are Fiona and
Niki.]
NIKI: Hm, looks like you're right, oneechan - it was a
good idea for us to come out.
[Dissolve to:]
22. PARK.
[Ratbat and Suzy walk into a clearing in a park,
containing statues, stuff like that. They are
talking amicably.]
RATBAT [Fade up]: ...what with it being a village of Scottish
Amazons, an' all...
SUZY: Nani? Scottish Amazons? In China?
RATBAT: Scottish Amazons, in China. [Shrug]
SUZY: Is that where you and your dad got your accents?
RATBAT: Eh? What accents?
SUZY: Nerf, never mind...
RATBAT: Ye 'ave a good time tonight, Suzy-kun?
SUZY: Oh yes. A good time, and...
[She adjusts herself.]
SUZY: ...an interesting one.
RATBAT: Oh, aye.
[He flips his add-on hair exaggeratedly.]
RATBAT: Me an' all.
[They hug, then don't completely separate,
standing very close. They stare at each other
for a moment.]
SUZY [simultaneous VO]:What's wrong with you, Tendo-baka? Say
something! Tell him...
RATBAT [simultaneous VO]: Have ye no got a brain,
Sigmatome? Say it, why don't yer? Tell her...
SUZY & RATBAT: I--
[They are both cut off as the fountain that held
some of the statues bursts into life, splashing
Ratbat, and triggering the change.]
RATBAT: Smeg...!
[She grimaces, and undoes the top couple of
buttons on her dress, allowing the rice bosoms
to be pushed out. [No room for them now.]]
RATBAT: Gordon Bennett, isn't it...argh...
[The comical grimace gives way to a far more
serious looking expression. She is in pain.]
SUZY: Ratti-chan?
RATBAT: I'm...it's...my stomach...
SUZY: Oh, kuso...do you think you ate something bad?
[Ratbat shakes her head.]
RATBAT: Ate the same as you, dinn'I? AGH!
[She clutches her middle, and doubles over in
pain, eventually sinking to the ground in pain.]
SUZY: Ratbat?
[Ratbat's only reply is a twitch and small
squeakish groan.]
SUZY: Ratbat...!
[Pull back and fade out.]
END CREDITS.
Tendo Suzy
SUZY STYLES
Sigmatome Ratbat
URAC SIGMA
Tendo Niki
NIKI O'BRIEN
Tendo Bobbi
ROBYN SCHOLES
Hodjsuke Tim
TIM HODGE
Ruth-sensei
RUTH CRABB
Lost boy
EUAN BOWEN
Grimlock
GREGG BERGER
written by
URAC SIGMA
additional material
SUZY STYLES
creation and development
URAC SIGMA
EUAN BOWEN
LEILA FETTER
SUZY STYLES
with apologies to
TAKAHASHI RUMIKO
� Recycadelic Cacti MCMXCVI