Subject: [ranma][xover][fanfic] NARRABUNDAH 1/2 - Volume I, chapter 10
From: Ratbat
Date: 1/26/1997, 2:43 AM
To: Fanfix



{----------------------------------------------------------------------------}
{ 'You've been certain about three different people!'                        }
{ 'Yeah, but this time I'm *really* certain!'                                }
{                                                                            }
{                                - Sam and Al, QUANTUM LEAP - GLITTER ROCK   }
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{                            Urac 'Ratbat' Sigma                             }
{               Nest: http://www.geocities.com/hollywood/1778                }
{                  Email: u962986@student.canberra.edu.au                    }
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---------- Forwarded message ----------
Date: Sat, 25 Jan 1997 00:30:24 -0500
From: Magic Knight Kyone <jdlowry@eos.ncsu.edu>
To: Ratbat <m.badger@student.canberra.edu.au>
Subject: [Fwd: [ranma][xover][fanfic] NARRABUNDAH 1/2 - Volume I, chapter 10]

-- Magic Knight Kyone -- "Do not meddle in the affairs of wizards, for they are subtle and quick to anger." --J.R.R. Tolkien "Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, for you are crunchy and good with ketchup." --Anonymous

Part 1.2
Subject: [ranma][xover][fanfic] NARRABUNDAH 1/2 - Volume I, chapter 10
From: Ratbat <u962986@student.canberra.edu.au>
Date: 1/20/1997, 2:40 AM
Newsgroups: rec.arts.anime.creative

                         NARRABUNDAH 1/2
                               
                         by Urac Sigma
                               
                               
                     Volume I, chapter ten
                               
                  Kimyo na Tokoro, Neribanda
                               
                               
                      CAST OF CHARACTERS
                               
                          TENDO SUZY
                  Not a diplomatic assistant
                               
                       SIGMATOME RATBAT
                      Not a first officer
                               
                          TENDO FIONA
                          Not a nurse
                               
                       SIGMATOME NICOLE
                      Not a nurse either
                               
                          TENDO NIKI
                     Not a security ensign
                               
                        HINOMIYA RUTHIE
                     Not a security chief
                               
                         KUNOU JARRAH
                         Not a caterer
                               
                          TENDO BOBBI
                     Not a chief engineer
                               
                         SIGMATOME LEN
                        Not an admiral
                               
                       HODJSUKE TIMOTHY
                     Not a gangster's moll
                               
                       HAPPOUSAI GRAHAM
                         Not a doctor
                               
                        SHIRATORI NOOMY
                    Not a transporter chief
                               
                               A
                    BOARDING-HOUSE MANAGER
                               
                               A
                         TRUCK DRIVER
                               
                           and that
                           LOST BOY




             TITLE SEQUENCE.

             [With  the  other version of Jajauma  ni  Sasenai
             de, and an art card matching the voice-over.]

SUZY [VO]:   Kimyo na Tokoro, Neribanda.



             1. KITCHEN.

             [CAPTION:   Neribanda,   Japan   -   Thursday   7
             September 1995 ]

             [The  kitchen  currently only holds  Fiona.  From
             the  living  room,  we hear  the  sounds  of  the
             standard fight. Maybe a bit louder.]

RATBAT [OOV]:Och, ye wouldn't know.

SUZY [OOV]:  Nani? Ratbat no baka!

             [There  is the sound of the mallet, as in  Ratbat
             being bonked over the head with it.]

RATBAT [OOV, small]:   Violent. Ye're very violent.

             [And Suzy bonks Ratbat again.]

SUZY [OOV]:  Manuke.

             [At this point, Suzy enters the kitchen.]

             [CAPTION: Fiona to Suzy - Shimai no Chuukoku  ]

             [Suzy  chucks her mallet away, and  it  lands  in
             hammerspace somewhere.]

FIONA:       What was that about?

SUZY:        Oh,  the  baka thought that Rally in Riding  Bean
             and  Rally in Gunsmith Cats are meant to  be  the
             same  person.  I  can't quite remember  where  it
             went after that. Downhill, mostly.

             [She  seethes  for a moment, then  flops  herself
             onto  a chair. After a moment, it becomes evident
             that  she  isn't  going to get any  attention  or
             relief this way. If this were a lemon story,  she
             would  solve  that  problem  in  any  number   of
             horrible  sordid  ways,  but  it's  not,  so  she
             contents  herself  with getting  some  bread  and
             putting  it  into the toaster. She  sighs  again,
             and turns to her sister.]

SUZY:        Fiona-chan?

FIONA:       Hai?

SUZY:        How do you do it?

             [Fiona blinks obliviously.]

FIONA:       Well,  right  now I'm doing it by hand,  but  I'm
             hoping that the dishwasher will be fixed soon.

             [Suzy  does one of those 'that just went straight
             past/under/around/through me' expressions.]

SUZY:        Dame!  What I mean is...all the time, almost  for
             as  long  as I can remember...you've been content
             to  just do housekeeping...clean up after all the
             crap  that  goes on here...make sure Mum  doesn't
             have   more   emotional   breakdowns   than   she
             needs...even cooking all the time, even though  I
             keep offering to help with that.

             [As  she  says that last bit, there is the  sound
             of  Fiona dropping a number of the dishes in  the
             sink.]

FIONA:       No,  really,  Suzy...I don't mind doing  that  at
             all.

SUZY:        But  you  know  what  I'm talking  about  -  it's
             everything else, too! Like...

             [She's  getting  fair  into  hand-punctuation  by
             this point. I just thought I'd mention it.]

SUZY:        ...all  kinds of weird stuff going on  since  the
             Sigmatomes arrived! You just absorb it all as  if
             it  happens every day. And...you do all the  kaji
             without even needing to be asked. I know  I  sure
             wouldn't  put  up with that. Niki would  probably
             be  working  slow and charging by the  hour,  and
             Ratbat...pfft.

FIONA:       But,  Suzy  -  you  three have your  studies  and
             schoolwork  - you have to give your attention  to
             them.

SUZY:        Not  nearly as much as you put in here. Don't you
             ever want to do anything, oneechan?

FIONA:       What  do  you mean, imoto-chan? I'm always  doing
             things - I'm busy all day!

SUZY:        But,  you  know...have  fun?  Go  out  and  enjoy
             yourself?

             [Fiona really doesn't understand.]

FIONA:       But...this is what I enjoy.

SUZY:        All  you do is wait around hand and foot on  Haha
             and Len all day!

FIONA:       It  makes  them  happy, Suzy. And I  like  making
             people happy. I like to help.

             [Suzy   is  about  to  start  again,  but   Fiona
             speaks.]

FIONA:       Besides,  it's  good to know I'm doing  something
             that will make a difference.

             [Suzy blinks.]

SUZY:        A difference?

FIONA:       Just  keeping things in order. Making  sure  that
             everything  is  right around our  home.  Grateful
             words  or  smiles from the rest of you. I'm  sure
             she'd  try  very hard, but I don't  really  think
             that  Okaasan is up to handling it  on  her  own.
             She's  a good woman, but she still misses Otoosan
             so.  [Wistful sigh] I offer what help I can. Just
             a few things, here and there.

             [Smiles that far-too-sweet smile.]

SUZY:        And that's it. That's all you want out of life.

FIONA:       Of   course  not  -  I  don't  think   it'll   be
             everything  I  want  in my whole  life.  I  mean,
             someday,   I'd  like  to  have  a   husband   and
             children.  And then I'd like to help  them...make
             them happy, too.

             [Suzy  rolls her eyes, but Fiona is looking away,
             and doesn't notice.]

SUZY:        Eeto...but  wouldn't finding  a  husband  entail,
             ja...going and meeting some guys?

FIONA:       Hai...hai,  I  suppose  it  would.  But,   imoto-
             chan...I'm only nineteen. I don't have  to  rush.
             Don't  worry, Suzy...I'm quite content with  what
             I do now.

             [Smiles  sweetly  again,  and  returns   to   her
             dishes. Suzy shrugs and leaves the room.]



             2A. LIVING ROOM. SPLIT-SCREEN.
             2B. KITCHEN. SPLIT-SCREEN.

             [Suzy   is  in  the  living  room,  having   just
             wandered  in  from  the previous  scene.  In  the
             kitchen,  Fiona  looks up from her  dishes.  Both
             sigh and shake their heads.]

SUZY & FIONA:Silly girl...

             [Fade to black.]



             3. SIGMATOME KITCHEN.

             [We  saw this kitchen about four chapters  ago  -
             the   kitchen  in  Hakodate  where  all  of   the
             Sigmatomes used to live.]

             [CAPTION:  Hakodate, Japan - Thursday 7 September
             1995 ]

             [It  looks  a  bit different for it being  twelve
             years  since  we  last saw  it,  but  it's  still
             pretty recognisable.]

             [CAPTION: Nicole - Otto Kara no Hagaki  ]

             [Enter  Sigmatome Nicole, also with twelve  years
             difference  on  her. She is sorting  through  her
             mail.  She  stops when she gets to one particular
             item:]

NICOLE [VO]: Soo-ne! A postcard from Len.

             [She takes it and sits down.]

NICOLE [VO]: I  wonder how he's going, putting Ratbat  through
             training.  I haven't heard from them  since  they
             were  in  China. Hmm...this one's postmarked  for
             Tokyo.

             [Reads it.]

LEN [VO]:    Nicole-chan,
             How're  they  hanging, love, all  right?  Now,  I
             know   that  I  haven't  written  to  you  in   a
             while...but  things've been a bit busy  since  we
             left  Jusenkyou, to be honest. I  finally  caught
             up with Tendo Bobbi - remember her?

             [Nicole nods.]

NICOLE [VO, unimpressed]:   Oh yes...I remember her.

LEN [VO]:    D'ye  remember she and I agreed to  have  one  of
             each  of  our  children marry and take  over  her
             dojo?  Well, now that we've arrived here,  that's
             finally  happened.  Well,  the  engagement   has,
             anyway,  not  the  marriage.  It's  the  youngest
             daughter,  Suzy, that he's engaged to -  I  don't
             know  if you remember her...she's the one we gave
             a squeaky mallet toy to on her first birthday.

             [Nicole pauses, remembering.]

NICOLE [VO]: Oh,  yes...I remember now. Probably not the  most
             ladylike thing to give her, but I don't think  it
             would do any harm.

LEN [VO]:    In  fact, the training seems to have made a right
             proper little martial artist out of Ratbat.  He's
             always   the  full  gentleman,  putting   himself
             forward to preserve Suzy's honour.

             [Nicole  holds the letter to her chest and  looks
             dreamy.]

NICOLE [VO]: That's so good to know...



             4A. PLAIN. SPLIT-SCREEN.
             4B. BEFORE NARRABUNDAH COLLEGE. SPLIT-SCREEN.

             [The  plain is obviously how Nicole is conceiving
             things, and the other side the reality.]

             [On  the  plain:  Ratbat facing down  a  fearful-
             looking  villainesque person. Ratbat  is  dressed
             in  full  battle armour, and holds  himself  more
             like  Kunou then his usual stance. He is wielding
             a   sword.   Behind   him,   grateful   for   his
             protection, cowers a long-haired Suzy in  a  nice
             pretty   dress,  all  pink  with  frills.  Pretty
             lady.]

             [In  reality,  Ratbat is mouthing  off  to  Kunou
             Jarrah,  when Suzy comes from behind and  mallets
             him,  pointing  to Kunou, then back  to  herself,
             obviously  trying to indicate that she can  fight
             her own battles.]



             5. SIGMATOME KITCHEN.

             [Nicole continues reading the letter.]

LEN [VO]:    Yes,  that's  right - I remembered  that  promise
             from  all  those  years  ago,  and  I  have  been
             raising Ratbat to be a man amongst men.

NICOLE [VO]: That's  good...or you might just have  remembered
             what I made you promise to do if you hadn't...

             [She  looks  meaningfully at  a  katana  she  has
             decoratively mounted on the wall.]

LEN [VO]:    So,  y'see  - everything's just as you  want  it,
             and there's no need for you to check up on us  or
             anything.  In fact, you might as well  just  stay
             home and relax. Good girl. Love, Len.

             [Nicole sighs and looks introspective again.]



             6A. DOJO PROPER. SPLIT-SCREEN.
             6B. RATBAT'S DEN. SPLIT-SCREEN.

             [Again,  the  dojo is in Nicole's mind,  and  the
             den is the actuality.]

NICOLE [VO]: So...my  little Ratti-chan is finally growing  up
             to be a man...

             [Ratbat backs into shot on both sides, then  goes
             straight  out  the side of the shot.  Dojo-Ratbat
             returns  wearing  a  gi, and  den-Ratbat  returns
             wearing Doctor Who boxer shorts.]

             [While  in  the dojo, Ratbat puts a battle-helmet
             over  his  head, over in the den, Ratbat  puts  a
             bucket  of water over his head and becomes  onna-
             Ratbat.]

NICOLE [VO]: ...and to think those fears I had...

             [In the dojo: Ratbat flicks his hands out and  is
             holding a sai in each.]

             [In  her den: Ratbat flicks her hands out and  is
             holding a bra in each.]

             [Dojo:  Ratbat  twirls  the  sai  into  holstered
             position behind his back.]

             [Den: Ratbat twirls the bras around herself,  and
             puts  them  both  on, fastening them  behind  her
             back.]

NICOLE [VO]: ...and I really was concerned for a while...

             [Both Ratbats reach up above shot.]

             [Dojo: Ratbat's hands grab a warriory-honourable-
             thingy-looking  sash and let it  descend  to  its
             position around his body.]

             [Den:  Ratbat's hands have grabbed a short  green
             dress, which she pulls down over herself.]

             [Dojo: Ratbat fixes the sash into place.]

             [Den: Ratbat buttons up the dress.]

NICOLE [VO]: It looks like I needn't have been worried!



             7. SIGMATOME KITCHEN.

             [Nicole puts the letter down.]

NICOLE:      However...despite  what Len  says...it  would  be
             nice  to  pop  up there on a surprise  visit  one
             day...

             [She smiles to herself and we fade to black.]



             8. BUSTLING STREET.

             [The  one  with  the restaurant that  we  saw  in
             chapter  three of this very volume. Oh! In  fact,
             we're  not  far  from  the  restaurant  now.  The
             street is very busy.]

             [CAPTION:   Neribanda,   Japan   -   Thursday   7
             September 1995 ]

             [Hodjsuke  Timothy,  looking somewhat  bedraggled
             and   out   of  breath,  drops  into  shot   from
             somewhere above.]

             [CAPTION: Kunou to Tim - Nante Ch�jitsu!     ]

             [Tim  is carrying some sort of package, which  it
             looks   imperative  does  not  get  damaged.   He
             urgently looks up and down the road, but sees  no
             potential respite from the traffic. So,  he  puts
             his  life in his feet, and leaps up, bounding off
             fast-moving  cars in order to get from  one  side
             of  the  street to the other. He lands in a  heap
             on  the other side, but picks himself up and runs
             down the street.]



             9. ROADWORKED STREET.

             [Tim is hurrying along the street as fast as  his
             little legs will carry him, when he looks up  and
             sees   that   the  entire  path  is  blocked   by
             roadwork. Seeing this causes him to fall  into  a
             hole  that is a part of it. As he climbs out,  he
             thinks about going for a detour and looks at  his
             watch.]

TIM:         No time!

             [He   leaps   up   [grabbing  the  package]   and
             continues  running forward, despite  the  urgings
             of   the  workers  that  he  should  turn   back.
             Suddenly,  he  jumps  into the  air,  grabbing  a
             chain  dangling  from a crane. He  uses  this  to
             swing   right   over  the  holes  and   roadwork,
             flinging himself into the air.]



             10. IN THE SKY.

             [Tim  is  sailing  along, and looks  behind  him,
             slightly thrilled.]

TIM:         Yatta!

             [He looks ahead, and registers dismay.]

TIM:         Chikusho.



             11. SOMEONE'S HOUSE.

             [Tim   makes  his  landing  in  someone's   front
             garden,  and  there's  barely  time  for  him  to
             recover  from  the fact that he's almost  impaled
             himself  on  a  lawn  ornament  before  we   here
             barking. Tim looks around, and a large amount  of
             angry  dogs are there. They start to attack  him.
             He yells and tries to get away.]



             12. BEFORE NARRABUNDAH COLLEGE.

             [Tim,  showing  the  signs of the  dog  ravaging,
             looks  a  little  bit  frustrated.  He  is  still
             running  determinedly,  though.  He  accidentally
             plows straight into a flower bed. He looks a  bit
             more annoyed as he registers this.]

VOICE:       Hey!  Don't  step  on  the  flowers,  you  badly-
             behaved DELINQUENT!

             [Tim  looks  around,  and  guess  who  the  voice
             belongs to? Clue: Red hair, black sweater,  looks
             about  twelve, holding a five-yen piece.  Ruthie-
             sensei! She draws the circle in the air.]

RUTHIE:      Happo go-en satsu!

             [She  holds  the  coin out, and we  get  the  big
             pretty  lights  as  she sucks  out  Tim's  battle
             energy,  and most any other energy he might  have
             had  with  it. He collapses in a weary heap,  off
             the flowers. The adult Ruth looks at him.]

RUTH:        See? It's just as comfortable off them.

             [She  flicks  her hair back and walks  away.  Tim
             wearily struggles on.]



             13. COMMON ROOM.

             [Kunou Jarrah is resting here, idly flicking  the
             end  of his sword back and forth. He looks up  as
             the  battered,  withered  and  weary  Tim  crawls
             through  the doors, and slowly makes his  way  to
             his  master, collapsing at his feet. He struggles
             to hold the package up to Kunou.]

TIM:         An-- a-- [puff] Yours, sir.

             [Jarrah takes the package gratefully.]

JARRAH:      Ah...thank you, Hodjsuke-kun.

             [He  pulls the paper off the package, and we  see
             that  it is the obento that he wanted for  lunch.
             He opens it, and prepares to eat, then:]

JARRAH:      Oh, Timothy...did you get the soy sauce?

             [Tim wearily slumps his head onto the floor.]

TIM:         Iie...

             [And  so  he turns, crawling off to get it.  Fade
             to black.]



             14. NOOMY'S BOUDOIR.

             [Obviously  she  lives somewhere  expensive,  for
             she  has  a big bedroom, with an ensuite  leading
             off  it.  All  around the room are her  'pets'  -
             various  objects  she has declared  to  be  cute,
             including  Alice  the ice-skate  from  her  first
             appearance.]

             [CAPTION: Noomy to Graham - 'Brief'     ]

             [Happousai Graham suddenly comes bouncing out  of
             the   bathroom,   holding  something   excitedly.
             Shiratori   Noomy  appears  soon  after   wearing
             Martine,  her towel, around her head, and  Andr�,
             her  half-slip.  One arm covers  her  chest,  the
             other making feeble grabs at Graham.]

NOOMY:       Hentai! That belongs to Noomy-chan!

             [Graham  leaps  out  the  window  and  is   away,
             kissing  his  prize  - the bra  she  is  now  not
             wearing.]

GRAHAM:      Ren�e! [Kiss] Ren�e, my beautiful claim!

             [And  he's  gone too far to catch.  Noomy  glares
             after him.]

NOOMY:       Grrr! Now Noomy will have to find something  else
             to cover Yolande and Michelle.

             [Fade to black.]



             15. NIKI'S LAIR.

             [Later  that  same day. Niki and  Ratbat-kun  are
             present.]

             [CAPTION: Niki to Ratbat - Sokeibu no Mondai ]

             [Once  more, Ratbat is at the desk, and  Niki  is
             lounging on the bed.]

NIKI [Meaning 'bullshit']:  No, go on.

RATBAT:      I 'aven't!

NIKI:        You're  trying  to  tell  me  you  haven't   once
             thought about doing it as a girl.

RATBAT:      I've 'ardly thought about doin' it as a boy!

NIKI:        Hai,  but  that's because you're  not  really  an
             otoko. I mean...come on!

RATBAT:      No!

NIKI:        Not even once?

RATBAT:      It's  no one of the things I think about! I don't
             really swing either way.

             [Niki's eyes bulge huger.]

NIKI:        Neither?  Masaka, how can you do that?  You  must
             at  least  have  seen one or two people  in  your
             time you wanted to get it on with!

             [Ratbat pretends he's thinking about it.]

RATBAT:      No.

NIKI:        Nothing. Chikusho. What about...

RATBAT:      What?

NIKI:        Do you...you know, by yourself?

RATBAT:      Ne! That's a bit of a personal question, innit?

NIKI:        Well, we're almost sisters-in-law, right?

             [Ratbat  tries to get in a protest at  that,  but
             she goes straight on.]

RATBAT:      True,  but...  [sudden track change]  All  right,
             then, do you?

NIKI:        Of course! Everyone does!

RATBAT:      Ja, ye're wrong there, 'cos I don't.

NIKI:        Hontoo?

RATBAT:      Hontoo.

NIKI:        I  mean...not even since you became a  girl?  You
             didn't  just  wonder  how it might  be  different
             with different bits?

RATBAT:      I  never found out what it was like with the  old
             bits!

NIKI:        Go on, then.

RATBAT:      Nani?

NIKI:        What's stopping you? Go ahead, right now.

RATBAT:      I don't want to, that's what's stopping me.

NIKI:        I'll look somewhere else if you like...

             [Ratbat starts glaring at her.]

NIKI:        All  right, all right...ja, back on the  original
             wadai. What about with other people?

RATBAT:      Don't  want to! Not one of my things!  It's  like
             you  don't play with Lego, except to make  three-
             dimensional profit charts.

NIKI:        But...what  if  you  and  Suzy  end  up   getting
             married?  Hasn't  it occurred  to  you  that  she
             might want to?

RATBAT [Slightly grey]:'If'? If we've no killed each other  by
             then.

NIKI [Usual cheer]:    Ee, if that.

RATBAT:      I dunno, she can get someone in or summat.

NIKI:        Well,  what  about  you?  I  mean,  you  must  be
             curious.

RATBAT:      What? With my otoko body?

             [Indicates himself, vaguely around the  pertinent
             area.]

RATBAT:      If  ye  recall, most of my life was going  to  be
             devote to losing that.

NIKI:        True, true...so do it as a girl!

             [Ratbat  sighs and buries his head in his  hands.
             She's  not  going  to stop, is she?  Ratbat  just
             continues   the   conversation,   although   it's
             evident he has no plans of following any  of  the
             suggestions.]

RATBAT:      Who with, then?

NIKI:        Hmmm...not  Kunou, I won't even bother suggesting
             that...umm...God. That ice-skating guy?  Nah,  he
             hates  your  guts. Han...Gosunkugi thinks  you're
             cute.

RATBAT:      Well,  I  don't  think  he's  cute.  Besides,  he
             couldnae get it up if it 'ad gears.

             [Niki thinks again.]

RATBAT:      Anyway,  ye're  missing another vital  concern  -
             remember  what it was invented for in  the  first
             place? What if I get pregnant?

             [Self-consciously touches his stomach.]

NIKI:        Then  it'll  be  congratulations  time!  You  can
             marry  Suzy,  and  I've always  wanted  a  little
             niece  or  nephew! Actually, that's a interesting
             point  -  can you even have children as a female?
             What  would happen if you were in labour and  the
             doctor called for hot water or hot towels...?

             [Ratbat   is   wearing   a  decidedly   wincesome
             expression.]

RATBAT:      I don't know.

NIKI:        Oh  well,  we'll just have to get you knocked  up
             to work it out, then.

             [Ratbat collapses on the floor.]

NIKI:        I'm   kidding.  God,  some  people...anyway,  you
             could try it with a girl.

             [Ratbat  is  beginning to tire of this.  He  gets
             up.]

RATBAT:      Hontoo ni? Which one? Suzy-kun's hardly going  to
             jump  at  it.  Sayuri? Fiona? [Shudders  at  that
             one]   Ruthie-sensei?   Sorry,   Niki-chan...once
             more,  I'm not terribly interested. Seems there's
             very few onna around I'd be interested in.

             [Lays  a  hand  on her shoulder and  looks  right
             into her eyes.]

RATBAT:      Very few indeed.

             [Niki  looks  slightly uneasy  for  a  moment  as
             Ratbat leaves the room, cackling to himself.  She
             goes after him to the door.]



             16. HALLWAY.

             [Niki   watches  as  Ratbat,  finishing  laughing
             walks down and out of sight.]

NIKI:        Chikusho...she  is a virgin.  And  I'm  going  to
             lose  a  grand  if  she still  is  by  Christmas!
             [Pause]  [Sulky]  And now  she  knows  I  do  the
             thing, too.

FIONA [OOV]: Why, Niki-chan...

NIKI:        Argh!

             [She  jumps and whirls around. Fiona has suddenly
             appeared there, smiling brightly.]

FIONA:       We all knew that already!

             [Pseudoinnocently  continues down  the  corridor.
             Niki  gives  one of those 'Fiona did it?'  looks.
             Fade to black.]



             17. LIVING ROOM.

             [Later  again the same day. Or rather, night.  It
             seems  dinner  has been and gone. Len  and  Bobbi
             are here, playing and drinking.]

             [CAPTION: Bobbi to Len - Taishita Koto Janai ]

LEN:         The kids seem quieter today.

BOBBI:       Hai...I  hope it lasts. Oh - Sigmatome-kun,  your
             shoelace is untied.

LEN:         What? It is?

             [He  bends  down, and while he does, Bobbi  moves
             some of the pieces around. He comes back up.]

LEN:         Chotto mate, I'm inside - I'm not wearing shoes.

BOBBI:       Hontoo? Gomen, my mistake. Anyway, it's your  go.
             I hope they're just being mature.

LEN:         Right.  What, you mean rather than Not  Speaking?
             Aye.

             [He examines the board for a moment.]

LEN:         Ne! Tendo-kun, your slip is showing.

BOBBI:       Nani?

             [She goes down to adjust it. And, of course,  Len
             moves some of the pieces on her. She surfaces.]

BOBBI:       Chotto   mate,  I'm  inside  -  I'm  not  wearing
             underwear.

LEN:         Must  be seeing things. Your turn. Ja...with  any
             luck they'll work it out on their own.

BOBBI:       Hai,  give them a while...and if they don't  sort
             it   out,  we'll  just  manipulate  them   later.
             [Pause]  Sigmatome-kun, can you  look  away  from
             the  board  so  I  can  move  the  pieces  around
             without you knowing?

LEN:         Hai.

             [He  obediently turns and faces the  wall.  Bobbi
             starts fiddling with pieces. Fade to black.]



             18. DOJO ROOF.

             [Suzy  is  sitting up here, looking at  the  sky.
             Definitely night-time. She doesn't appear  to  be
             in the best of moods.]

             [CAPTION: Suzy to Ratbat - J�bun ni Doseiai? ]

SUZY [VO]:   What  happened this morning? That went a bit  out
             of  hand,  compared to the usual sort  of  fights
             Ratbat  and I get into. Was I really chewing  her
             out   just   for   making  an  inadequate   anime
             analysis.  [Pause]  Oh, mate-yo...I'm  me,  I  do
             that.  But  some of the other things...I  haven't
             seen her all day.

             [Cut  to  the  other  slope of  the  roof,  where
             Ratbat-chan  sits,  also  looking  at  the  night
             sky.]

RATBAT [VO]: I've  no seen her all day. I doubt she meant some
             of  that  stuff  she said this  morning.  I  'ope
             not...I  sure  didn't mean a lot of  what  I  let
             gush out.

             [Over  on  her  side,  Suzy's  movement  cause  a
             couple  of loose tiles to clack together. On  her
             own  side,  Ratbat hears that. She looks  around,
             then  gets  up and climbs over the  peak  to  see
             Suzy there.]

RATBAT:      Konbanwa.

SUZY:        Nerf.

             [She  takes a seat next to her, and neither  says
             anything for a few moments. Then:]

RATBAT & SUZY:    Wat--

             [Impasse.]

SUZY:        You go first.

RATBAT:      No, go 'head. Alphabetical order.

             [She doesn't both to argue with that.]

SUZY:        I  think  I  flew  off at you  a  bit  much  this
             morning.  It  was just...I...I overreact  a  lot.
             I'm sorry.

RATBAT:      Aye,  well...we  both said a couple  more  things
             than  we  would've  liked. I'm  sorry,  too...for
             those...comparisons I made.

SUZY:        They're forgotten.

RATBAT:      Doomo.

             [Pause.]

SUZY:        Dame, I mean...really, I've forgotten them.  What
             were they?

RATBAT:      Han...Not while we're on the roof.

             [Suzy laughs.]

SUZY:        Fair enough.

RATBAT:      Actually,  now  I've got ye in a reasonably  sane
             mood...

             [She pauses: did she spark at that? No? Good.]

RATBAT:      We  haven't  said  much about our engagement...or
             anything...since I came out to you.

SUZY:        No, I haven't.

             [Another pause.]

RATBAT:      Still undecided, then?

SUZY:        Iie...  I'm...I'm really not sure  what  I  mean,
             Ratti-chan... Don't forget - I never thought  I'd
             be engaged when I was sixteen...

RATBAT:      True,  I  can  see what ye mean  there.  I  never
             thought I'd be engaged ever.

SUZY:        And  as  for  the whole otoko/onna thing...  I've
             never  gone  for girls at all. As far  as  I  was
             concerned,   I   was  always  iseiai.   But   I'm
             beginning  to  realise...ja, I've never  had  any
             boyfriends, either...at least none to  speak  of.
             Maybe  it  means something... [quieter] Maybe  it
             doesn't make much difference...

             [Ratbat didn't hear that last part.]

RATBAT:      Sorry?

SUZY:        Don't worry.

RATBAT:      Ja...I  always knew that I didnae really  go  for
             guys  nor  girls, but...I thought...that  it  was
             possible  that...sex aside, if  someone  was  the
             right  kind of person...that I might be  able  to
             fall in love...

             [She  is stroking Suzy's hair by this point. They
             face  each  other,  and  Suzy  starts  to  stroke
             Ratbat's in return.]

SUZY:        I  know  I might explode at you sometimes, Ratti-
             chan...[laughs]  - and the mallets  too,  there's
             them  -  but...I don't hate you. Always  remember
             that.

             [Their  eyes are locked now. Greenish blue  meets
             greenish grey.]

RATBAT:      And  I...I...  I don't hate you either,  Suzy-k--
             chan.

             [They  draw  closers.  Their  faces  are  gaining
             proximity...could they be going to? Will they?]

             [They  hug,  each with their face buried  in  the
             other's shoulder.]

             [Oh. Darn.]

             [The  end music starts slowly, and we slowly draw
             back  from them. We then see the end credits roll
             against  the  night,  to  the  tune  of  Platonic
             Tsuranuite.  We only just see that  the  drawing-
             into-the distance couple have separated, but  are
             still holding hands.]

                          Tendo Suzy
                          SUZY STYLES
                               
                       Sigmatome Ratbat
                          URAC SIGMA
                               
                       Sigmatome Nicole
                         NICOLE WYLIE
                               
                          Tendo Niki
                         NIKI O'BRIEN
                               
                          Tendo Bobbi
                         ROBYN SCHOLES
                               
                         Ruthie-sensei
                          RUTH CRABB
                               
                       Hodjsuke Timothy
                           TIM HODGE
                               
                       Happousai Graham
                        GRAHAM HENSTOCK
                               
                        Shiratori Noomy
                      NOOMY SCHWINGHAMER
                               
                           Lost boy
                          EUAN BOWEN
                               
                             Kyoko
                        SHIMAMOTO SUMI
                               
                         Truck driver
                         COLLEEN HICK
                               
                               
                          written by
                          URAC SIGMA
                               
                      additional material
                          SUZY STYLES
                               
                   creation and development
                          URAC SIGMA
                          SUZY STYLES
                          EUAN BOWEN
                         LEILA FETTER
                               
                       with apologies to
                       TAKAHASHI RUMIKO
                       (amongst others)
                               
             [Since drawing back, the view has travelled  some
             way,  and  now it zooms toward the ground  again.
             Maybe  not  a part of Tokyo, but we're definitely
             still in Japan.]
                               
                               
                               
             19. OUTSIDE BOARDING HOUSE.

             [The  camera comes down to find this. A  slightly
             run-down looking boarding house.]

             [CAPTION: Epilogue
                             Japan - Thursday 7 September 1995
             ]

             [If  I said that the lost boy was here, would you
             be  surprised? He goes up to the door and knocks.
             It  is  answered by a woman with long dark  hair.
             She  looks  like she's just come from doing  some
             sweeping.]

ONNA:        Konbanwa.

LOST BOY:    Konbanwa. Do you know a Sigmatome Ratbat?

             [She shakes her head.]

ONNA:        Iie. Gomenasai.

LOST BOY:    Konbanwa. Suman.

             [She  withdraws  inside.  The  lost  boy  scowls,
             punches a doghouse [causing the big white dog  on
             the  other side of the front yard to look at  him
             in   annoyance],  walks  back  to  the  road  and
             screams at the sky.]

LOST BOY:    KUSO!! WILL I NEVER FIND IT!?

VOICE:       Sumimasen.

             [He  turns  to  face a small truck with  the  cab
             door open.]

LOST BOY:    Hai?

DRIVER:      Did  I  hear  you say that you were  looking  for
             Sigmatome Ratbat?

LOST BOY:    Hai...I've  heard  he moved to Tokyo's  Neribanda
             district.

DRIVER:      So  have  I - that's where I'm on my way to  now.
             Want a lift?

             [After  a pause, the lost boy nods and gets  into
             the  passenger  side. The doors  close,  and  the
             truck  drives off into the distance.  And  so  we
             see  the  end  of  this volume. But  the  Tendos,
             Sigmatomes,  and  all the other assorted  misfits
             will  return...in  Narrabundah  1/2,  Volume  II  -
             coming  from  Recycadelic  Cacti  Productions  in
             1997! Thank you, and goodnight!]
                               
                  � Recycadelic Cacti MCMXCVI