*yaoi warning*


	He pulled himself out of his memory and used the Jagon to glance
through the temple walls. Kurama was still asleep, most of the bandages
gone since Yukina had turned her power on the Youko again. He rested his
chin on his drawn up knees and let out a miserable little sigh. Damn that
Youko. What was he supposed to do now? That secret little place was now a
wide open, yawning chasm, impossible to ignore. He had managed to keep it
contained and under control by staying as far away from Kurama as possible
since that...time in the water.

	The memory of it still disturbed him. Once he had regained his
composure, and he had to do it sitting naked in the top of a tree, he had
been furious. Furious with himself for being so scared, for being unable to
deal with that searing pleasure that had burned through him, that had
overwhelmed him and left him reeling and defenseless. And furious with
Kurama for doing it to him. He had felt betrayed, felt that Kurama had just
been playing with him. That he had just done it for the hell of it. He was
Youko after all. So he had shut Kurama out. Even when they had to be
together as teammates, he had made sure that they were never alone, refused
to exchange any more words with him than was necessary, made very sure that
he was never close enough for Kurama to touch him.

	For Kurama to touch him...he closed his eyes. Even though he had
kept Kurama away from him physically, he still showed up in his dreams, a
lot. Very vivid dreams. Dreams that he would jerk out of with his erection
a throbbing ache and his veins full of fire. He'd stay perfectly still
until it went away, afraid to move, afraid of what might happen. And he'd
curse Kurama the whole time. Yet now he was wondering if he had thought the
wrong thing. Kurama had almost died trying to protect him. Again the
feeling of panic, of being left without that Youko flicked though him,
accompanied by a rush of confusing desires that terrified him.

	Why? He didn't understand why Kurama had done that. Or why he had
done what he did when he realized that Kurama was dying. He had let Kurama
in, had let him touch the core of himself that he kept hidden and locked
away from everyone else. He had a moment of revelation, as sharp and bright
edged as sunlight on the edge of a sword. He had done it because he loved
that Youko and couldn't bare the thought of going on without him. It shook
him to the very core of his being. He was twice damned.

	"My tastes run to refinement and beauty," Kurama's voice whispered
that again in his head.

	He was well aware of that. And well aware that those were both
things he didn't have. After all, he WAS a foul tempered little runt. A
foul tempered little runt who was in love with a half-human youko and had
absolutely no idea of what to do about it. He stood, looked one more time
at Kurama, then left.

* * *

	Kurama shuffled through the riot of color that carpeted the path,
head down and hands clenched into fists in the pockets of his jacket. Then
he kicked at the leaves in frustration, sending them to swirl up in the
cold clean wind. Hiei had been avoiding him for months now, going out of
his way even when they had to be together to put as much distance between
them as possible. He couldn't get him alone to talk to him, to explain his
mistake. He sighed heavily, realizing now that he would never get the
chance. Hiei had never run from anything in his life before that incident
and Hiei had made it very plain that he would never forgive him for it.

	He had hoped that Hiei would understand why he had put himself
between him and Yomi, had hoped so hard to see Hiei sitting by him when he
woke up, so weak. Yukina had told him that he had almost died, that Hiei
had come to get her and taken her into the Makai to heal him. Yet Hiei
stayed away, still. He rubbed at his forehead and the aching tingle behind
it. Something else had happened, he had a vague recollection of something,
a dream or a memory? He wasn't sure. But it had been Hiei's voice pleading
with him not to leave him alone. His lips turned in a little, bitter smile.
Wishful thinking. It had to be. Hiei was lost to him.

	His youko self offered a variety of images of pretty girls...and
boys... with the mischievous suggestion of *if we must be human now, let's
play with humans...*

	He ignored it. He didn't want them. He wanted Hiei.

* * *

	Hiei leaned back against the trunk of the tree he was standing in
and watched Kurama's slow advance toward him with narrowed eyes. The wind
that sent the bright autumn leaves dancing caught at Kurama's hair and sent
it swirling around his head like flames. Hiei plucked a leaf as blood red
as Kurama's hair off a near branch and twirled it between his fingers, then
let it go to drift down and join it's brothers.

	He couldn't stand to stay away from him any longer. He dropped onto
the path and took a steadying breath as Kurama stopped dead in his tracks,
just staring at him. He stalked to him, stopped when they were toe to toe.
Kurama stood as if frozen. He closed his eyes and steeled himself, then
slid his arms around Kurama's waist and gave him a fierce hug.