Disclaimer: The names are the same, but the characterizations have been
changed to protect the innocent. Other than that, you're all on your own.
Here we go.





----------------------------------------
The Gay Lovers,

OR

The Makeout Party

OR 

Pointless, Friggin' Pointless
---------------------------------------






Ryoga: Hey Ranma.

Ranma: What is it, pig boy?

Ryoga: Who you calling a pig boy, you perverted, sex changing fiend!??

Ranma: Oh yeah, good comeback....you're just jealous Akane is mine.

Ryoga: You _imbecile_. I don't want Akane, I want you. I'm gay, and I love
you.

Ranma: Oh yuck, that's so disgusting!!! I can't believe you Ryoga!!!!

Ryoga: Well, it's not my fault you idiot!!!

Ranma: Oh yeah? Then who's fault is it?

Author: My fault fellas......I wrote it this way on purpose.

Ranma: Why in the _hell_ would you do that!??

Author: Cause I felt like it. Hell, I can even make _you_ gay. Watch.

[Ranma jumps into Ryoga's arms and showers his with kisses. Ryoga responds
and begins passionately kissing Ranma back. Before the whole thing gets
hentai, the Author snaps his fingers and Ranma opens his eyes to find
Ryoga'stongue down his throat. He screams wildly and punches Ryoga into an
innocent bystander: in this case Jang Choe, who then rolls down a hill and
knocks Richard Lawson down who was trying to get a kite airborne. The kite
falls to the earth and lands in Scott Jamison's soup and messes up his nice
shirt 'Argh!! I just washed it too!'.]

Ranma: What the hell was that for? Those ppl had nothing to do with your
making me gay.

Author: I know, I was just breaking up the monotony....this being SPAM and
all....oh yeah, sorry ppl, but I'm sure my company insurance will cover
whatever injuries you suffered....as soon my company gets some.

Ranma: But what does that have to do with Ryoga and me making out!!?? That
was _sooo_ gross!!!

Author: Was it now? Perhaps I could make you ditch Akane and run off with
Kodachi.....

Ranma: You wouldn't.....you couldn't......

Author: I could and I would, except it's not my style. Maybe someone else
will cover that one day.....

Ranma: But why? I don't _even_ like Kodachi!!! She's a weirdo!

Author: Chill out, dOOd, you're not even real. I can give you 4 eyes and
webbed feet, and it wouldn't matter an inch.

Ranma: Then why do you even bother?

Author: Cause it's something I feel like doing, cause I wanna. No one can
tell me otherwise....

Ranma: Well, I still say the whole thing stinks.....

Author: Don't be such a wuss.....we all know in the end you'll marry Akane
and live happily ever after.

Ranma: Me, marry that tomboy who's flatter than a brick wall!!??? 

Akane: What did you say??! I heard that!!

Ranma: A-Akane!! [Turns to Author] where did SHE come from!!??

Author: I believe it's called artistic license...remind me to tell you when
you get back.....

Ranma: Back? Back from what?

Author: This.

[Akane boots Ranma into traditional LEO <if you don't know what this means
yet, you're beyond all hope> and huffs angrily]

Akane: That baka!! I can't believe I have to marry that half girl pervert!
There's no way I'd.....ever....

Author: Oh _really_? So will you go out on a date with me? 

Akane: Grrrr......

[Author soon enters LEO with a smirk and footprint on his mug.]

Akane: Let's not get _too_ OOC. Hmmmm.....I wonder where Ranma will
land.......lesse.....aah! The Nekohanten! There's no way I'll let Shampoo
get.......

[Akane runs off in the direction of the Nekohanten, and the curtain falls,
and a rain of rotten fruit, vegetables, and car seat cuisions pelts the
stage.]

[Author sticks his head out of the curtain, sticks out his tongue, pulls
down an eyelid, and goes 'Blllleeeeeaaaahhhhh!!!!!' He then runs for his
castle followed by an angry mob carrying torches and a rope.....]



Notes:

I know there was a point to this somewhere, but it got lost between my 4th
and 5th Heinekins <shameless glug> and the constant pounding of my little
cousin's rag doll upside my head.



Andres Odella




One Time Sig:
Absolute Ruler of Nothing, King of Emptyness, Prince of the Blanks, and the
type of guy that mom told you to cross the street if you saw.....yep, you
guessed it, a door-to-door salesman!!! AAAAH!!! Run for your lives!!! He's
got a Hoover, and he's not afraid to use it!!!!!!!!


Real Sig:
"I have only two things in this world: my balls and my word. And I break
them for no one." -Tony Montana