Here comes the disclaimers for all those sensitive people out there.  This
has CHILD ABUSE and YAOI in it and it can be disturbing to some.  This
chapter is rather DARK.  If you don't like this kind of material, you have
the choice and freedom to 
NOT READ IT AT ALL.  I started this fic before "One Day In Their Lives."  So
I call this my very very first attempt on fanfiction.  Actually, I wrote
this with a friend of mine.  Any C & C is welcome.  Please send it to my
address.  Thank you.

_______________________________________
BEFORE & AFTER

Ch 1
       The pain shot through his side as he landed painfully on his
shoulder.  He stood up gingerly but was struck down by another blow, this
time right across his face.  He coughed and struggled to breath,
regretting that he had stopped by the pond on his way home.
       *If only I've listened to him,* he thought miserably.  *I've made
him angry again.  It was all my fault...*
        His thought was interrupted by a sudden pain in his stomache.
That one hard blow as too much for him, he couldn't breath.  He gasped
painfully.  After another attempt to get up, he finally gave up.  His
strength to
stand up is gone now.  His golden eyes are closed as he laid on his side,
breathing hard.
        "Kurama..." Rokuso said softly as his fingers ran through Kurama's
silver hair. " my beautiful child."
        Kurama felt himself being picked up and carried.  He could feel
the soft rustle of the mattress as he was put down.  Another pain shot through
his body as Rokuso ran his hand over Kurama's body, his S-class youki
breaking two of Kurama's ribs in the process.
        The little youko's body twisted in pain as the strong hand
continued to move restlessly on him.
        "Please...father.  I promise I won't do it again.  I..."
        But before he could even finish the sentence, the strong hand
landed on his jaw, with such massive force that it almost knocked him out.
Kurama silently wished that it had.  His "father" was not about
to stop there.
        "Kurama, you've been a bad boy, and a bad kid has to be punished."
the youkai whisper beside Kurama's ear, as if he was betraying his violent
action toward the little youko.  "You did remember that you are told to be
back early today, so why didn't you do it?  Why do you always have to
break my heart like this, son?"
        The large, strong hand slowly traced up from youko's inner thighs
to his pale chest.  Pain again exploded behind his eyes as two more ribs
are broken.  Kurama cried out in pain and a thin stream of blood trickered
from the corner of his mouth.  Rokuso kissed Kurama tenderly, then licked
at the blood at the corner of his mouth.
        "You have to know that disobedience is not tolerated, am I clear
on this?
        "Ye...yes...father."
        "Now tell me, who loves you the most?"
        "You...father."
        Those hands moved restlessly on his body again.  This time they
showed no intentions to break any more ribs but instead, it was more like
soft carress.
        *This is what he wanted,* Kurama thought. *I've done him wrong,
now it's time for me to make it up.*
        Kurama kept his eyes closed and felt the hands slid over his body.
He trembled at the touch.  Kurama knew what he was in for, it had always
been like that.  Kisses, then caresses, and finally...that pain, a pain
that was much worse than those beatings.  The pain finally reached its
climax, Kurama cried out, begging Rokuso to stop but Rokuso just looked on
with an expression of ecstacy.
        The heat that was searing through Kurama's body was
indistinguishable to himself at first.  The pain that was burning through
him had consumed him, swallowed him whole from the moment his fragile body
was driven through and he had learned to shut them away.  Most of the time.
 There always will come the moment when his body finally surrender to the
violent invasion and lure him from the sanctuary in the depth of his soul. 
In spite of himself, he screamed out, his fingers dug deep into the
mattress--breaking thru the fabric.  The heat inside him grew hotter and
hotter....all Kurama wish for was darkness.  Unconsciousness...even
death....his thought was sharply interrupted by a particularly hard thrust
that tore him further apart.  Kurama screamed.

*****
	Kurama gasped and woke up.  He absent-mindedly wiped the sweat from his
forehead.  He couldn't believe that he still couldn't recover from the
shock, the
same terror which had dominated him during his childhood.  Even after so
many centries. It still feel... so... real.  
	"Kurama, what is it !?" Hiei, who was now fully awake, asked him, with a
tone that almost sounded like concern and worry. 
	"Nothing, just another nightmare...sorry to wake you up."  Yeah, just
another nightmare, but compare to others this one had always been the worst.
Besides the fear, the pain, it was also full of heartache. 
	"Hn, you sure?"  
	"Hmm," Kurama put his arm around Hiei, smiling, "are you worried about me?"  
	"Don't flatter yourself!" The smaller youkai snorted.  Kurama looked at
Hiei's innocent face, suddenly he felt that he needed this youkai, both
mentally and physically, to ease the ancient pain.  And he needed Hiei now.  
	"Hiei..." he whispered. 
	"What you....." Before Hiei could finish the question, Kurama's lips was
upon his, with passion and a little roughness.  After seemed to be a quite
long time, "Kurama..." Hiei struggled to free himself from Kurama's grip, "I
can't breath!"  
	"Sorry..." Kurama kissed Hiei's cheeks tenderly, then tracing down to
the middle of Hiei's chest, lips caressing gently. His arms were
around Hiei's small waist. Hiei, who hesitated for a moment, then shyly
rest one hand at the back of Kurama's head.  Kurama raised his head to
kiss Hiei on his left ear.  Satisfied to hear that Hiei's breathing were
shortened in response to his kisses, Kurama chuckled, moving to kiss Hiei's
lips again.....*Rokuso...Don't come back to hunt me anymore, that was the past,
but I have someone now...*
	In Kurama's arms, Hiei thought to himself silently, *Kurama, what happened?
Do you know that you were crying in your sleep?*

----------------------------Chapter 1 End (To Be Continued)-----------------

--Shuuichi Minamino
****************************
* "It's been found,        *
*  What?                   *
*  Eternity.               *
*  In the whirling light,  *
*  Of Sun becomes Sea."    *
*              -A. Rimbaud *
****************************