On Fri, 17 Jan 1997, Richard Lawson wrote:
:
: Magic
:
: Part 2 - Family and Friends
:
: by Richard Lawson
:
: Mousse smiled at Nouma. "You've certainly grown quite a bit since the last
: time I saw you. You look very much like your father did at your age."
:
: "A bit like Akane, too, maybe in eyes." Shampoo's speech patterns
: degenerated just a bit as her smile grew wide and her eyes lost focus a
: little. "Always said Akane was tomboy. That why Ranma like her so, I think.
: Son look like tomboy mother, but that okay since he is boy. Probably have
: Akane's fierce spirit. Spirit was the one part of Akane Shampoo always have
: secret admirings for."
Ah, yes, that's better than the sudden switch from formal language
to all-out bimbogo as you had in the first draft.
I also see that you eliminated the olympics completely. It'll be
interesting to see how this influeces later scenes. The one in
the back of the van comes to mind.
: Nouma wasn't exactly sure what
: 'tomboy' meant, but having read tales of Father's adventures twenty-five
: years ago, it couldn't have been terribly flattering.
Hmmm? you're indicating a language change here - or just
*unusual* naivety on Nouma's part? :)
: She frowned slightly. "Of course, the animal-
: rights protesters picket the lab almost daily. I feel like the last of the
: gas-powered automobile makers, trying to convince everyone how great my car
: is while they all buy electrics."
Ah, I wanted to ask about this the first time around, but forgot.
Does this mean that food made from actual animals is not the usual
fare in the future? Or do they just protest against Akari's lab
experiments? This *is*, of course, set after after a world-wide
epidemic that killed almost all livestock, so the food industry
might have changed.
: Ukyo shrugged. "Not all of the international ones do so well. I had to
: close the New York restaurant, but I've still got one in San Francisco, as
: well as Hong Kong, Melbourne, Singapore, Seoul, Honolulu, Duesseldorf and
: Bangkok."
Yay! Thanks! Wow, now I only have to wait... twenty years until
I can taste a real okonomiyaki at "Ucchan's".
: Nouma was worried about the one person missing until she showed up, right
: at the last minute. Nouma smiled at her, relieved. "Hello, Aunt Kodachi.
: Thanks for coming."
:
: "Ah, Nouma-chan, you are the one person who is always glad to see me."
: Kodachi smiled sadly. "It warms my heart."
:
: Nouma shook his head, laughing. "Don't play the stricken maiden with me,
: Auntie. I think your husband and daughter would be just as glad to see you
: as I am."
OK, first side story: _The Courting of the Rose_
Kunou Kodachi, having regained her sanity and freedom, is trying
to fit in at the Kunou mansion, living under the same roof with
her brother and his wife, a highly suspicious Nabiki. She finds
solace in teaching her new nephew Nouma in the ways of tactics and
planning, but part of her remains unfulfilled. Only when a young
man (did you ever mention his name, Richard?) shows interest in
her, she becomes aware of what she is missing. She yearns to have
a family of her own, to be more than just the tolerated member of
someone else's.
But can Kodachi trust herself enough to dare this? Can she risk
the possibility of exposing another generation to the childhood
that made her what she once was? She has to wrestle with these
haunting questions even as she blooms under the attention of her
suitor, while in the background a mutual grudging respect grows
into a strong friendship between her and her sister-in-law,
Nabiki.
Coming soon to a Fanfic forum near you. If Richard knows what's
good for him, that is. >:)
: "All of you here know about my curse." She looked down at herself. Nouma
: didn't think of his father's female side as being attractive, of course,
Hmm, come to think of it, this *is* a bit of a non sequitur.
Perhaps you could link these thoughts together with a half-
sentence about how his female side always managed to get so much
attention.
Sebastian (Oh, and what kind of name is "minmay" for a computer?)